@Rune_Alchemist

The prologue mentioned "three quick shots" so I take it there'll be semi-automatic rifles and maybe even submachine guns in this setting too. Is it okay to refer to weapons by their IRL names (e.g. M1 Garand, Thompson submachine gun, the Mk 2 "pineapple" grenade) to make things easier?

@Waylon

Hmm

There will definitely be semi-autos, and Senya uses a giant gatling steam gun with a lance on the end of it.

I am going to say probably no, simply because they really aren't those weapons. They might be similar, but this is a fantasy steampunk world and this might seem a bit nitpicky, but I am incredibly particular about trying to keep things consistent. Some might run on magic, too.

@Rune_Alchemist

Does that mean you'll be describing the weapons in the airship's armory?

Polina's handgun is also a semi-auto. Looks close to a 1903 pocket hammerless, but more... steampunky for reference.

@Waylon

I intend to fill out a number of descriptions for the standard gear as well as get up a decent enough map of the country and area hopefully within the week.

@Rune_Alchemist

Thanks! Looking forward to it.

@Waylon

And that's an update here!

Apologies if it seems rushed, but I wanted you guys to get boots on the ground sooner rather than later. Feel free to ask or if you have a quick question or something to ask Myrilla or Leoniya before you drop I'll see about getting a response up.

I also added those weapons I mentioned under a 'Demon Hunting Gear' tab as best as I could. Fairly standard gear, nothing fancy, something the rank and file maids would use. You dress has free low-level mental interference protection. You can thank your glorious leader for that.

@Waylon

Was in a slight bit hurry last night but
an update was made and if you could please post this round, that would be fantastic thank you muchly.

As I explained to Sniblet in the discord just on how I do things here, the small mooks (Hellhounds mentioned in this case) Are free reign to kill within reason (Like, don't kill all of them in one post) but the big gorilla tank thing is sort of a miniboss for the prologue here so I'll be determining how successful any action you take against it is.

@Rune_Alchemist

Sure chief, any time now

@Rune_Alchemist

Could you also PM me an invite to the Discord server? Thanks!

I don't think I'm enjoying this enough to warrant keeping up with the pace, even as forgiving as it is. I'm dropping out. I say either melt Astreya to raise the stakes, or just have her get called home after this.

@UnWorthy28

...I'm going to probably sound a bit like an ass, but this is the casual section, not free.

This CS is simply not up to standard at all. What does this 'soulstriker' sword even do? I'm assuming its a magical artifact of some sort, which are a bit of a huge deal, especially ones with names. They're not something just anyone can get their name on and would either be controlled by the church or secreted away by a clan of mages or kept with the fey, or any other inherently magical race. I'd like you to at least discuss with me what it does if you intend to pursue this.

And a...slingshot..explosive? That's well, creative I'll give it that but a little underpowered and a little thematically....mhm, not appropriate. It'd be better if it was something like a hand canon or perhaps a small ballista/repeating crossbow with special ammunition.

Also, the Work History? That was intended to be a summary of the characters personal history and overall experiences. I combined it into one to make it a bit more like a job application. I would like to know more about her motivations, history, how she came to work for the Maison, that sort of thing.

Also your character ID image is broken.

Overall, as far as CS's go, this is sub-par at best and would like you to put in a little more effort before I can accept this. I will be more than happy to help if at all needed, but as it stands I can not accept this even with leniency.

@Rune_Alchemist

Is this RP in a position to take on new players? It's a petty interesting concept, and I would like to argue for a Demon Maid, as no-one else has, and I've character concept in mind that, while it does work fine as a Human, it is slightly less cool.

@Enkryption

Heyo sorry it took me awhile! I work eleven hour shifts on thursdays so I don't have a lot of free time.

As for your request - I certainly wouldn't mind someone trying. Just keep in mind the lore related bits about them and likely you'll have to keep it under wraps from the other players in character.

As well, I'd like to know what idea you have for them first and just to make sure you understand - demons are not just another fantasy race here. They're bad. The antithesis to most mortal life in some fashion. Not that they're evil, just that generally speaking their motivations and desires are beyond what most humans find digestible and I'd like someone to be able to play those nuances well. As while a demon is definitely going to be a callous slightly murdery and maybe human eating bad guy, there's more to them then just that.

@Rune_Alchemist

I'm actually at work myself, so I'll keep it to the basics of the idea:

The Demon is one of the Blood Clan, as it's the most applicable to what she is, a Butterfly Demon, and works best with how she came to work as a Maid. Hydrargyrum, or Mercury, as she'd be known by in a modern tongue, is a weak demon - a Whelp, almost Demon Beast. Her strength isn't in anything that a demon would be expected for: she uses her demonic control of the elements to bend the blood of corpses or herself into Blutterflies (Blut, German for Blood + Butterfly) and uses them for distractions - largely to run away.

Her purpose is to bake sweets, as butterflies are addicted to sugar, and will sip blood for it's sugar content. Hydrargyrum seeks to bring ruin to the world by baking cake, candy, and cookies with her blood inside (because it's sweeter than sugar), but she's, like, fighting a demon on Game Journalist difficulty.

However, before she was sealed, she pleaded her case: become a Maid, so she can kill other Demons and keep baking her sweets.


Should that not jive well, I am fine with an Emtomancer variant of her. Like I said, the Demon aspect is cooler than her being Human, but not a deal-breaker.

@Enkryption

Alright so

Overall, the concept is...mhm, fine. A weak demon that was about to be sealed, begged to work for the maids instead.

That said, there's a number of things in this idea that don't really work.

Lets start with the classifications. Perhaps I could have explained this better, but anything below 'High Demon' level is often little more than an animal. Demon Beasts are basically the animals of the demon realms. Little intelligence, but can be tamed by demons or summoned by particularly powerful mages. Whelps, are going to be even weaker with even less intelligence and sentience. They're basically krill, plankton, small slugs you find on the underside of a rock. Such beasts aren't worth sealing because they are far too numerous. It'd be like trying to cage every animal on five different earths if they did it. Easier to just kill them and let their souls return to Naraheim or purify them rather easily with a holy weapon.

Not that they can't get powerful - that's why and how Devil Beasts exists. Such creatures that lived for awhile and were able to essentially self-evolve.

Basically, she needs to be a High Demon.

Now, secondly, blood demons if I had to describe them are the embodiment of Lust, Wrath, Slothfulness and Greed. Basically every single negative human emotion wrapped up into one tightly wound choleric, irritable and angry bundle. That is to say, there is not a single blood demon that would be cowardly. Its basically hardcoded into their entire being to be violent murder happy human-eating psychos. You want a demon that is cowardly and shy, or at least appears to be - those would be your Tear Demons. These demons would happily fight to their own death just to prove a point even if they knew they were likely to get beaten to a bloody pulp unless the power difference were just too great. Like say, a High Demon trying to fight a Primarch. Not a single high demon would dare.

Thirdly, Blood Demons magic is entirely destructive. It Explodes, burns, slices, cuts, destroys, vaporizes, etc. It can take many forms - such as these bloody butterflies, but as it stands I'm gonna need more info on what it does if I'm to approve it for the previous reasons as it needs to embody 'pure and unfiltered violence and destruction' in some way. Perhaps her blood itself is the weapon and its extremely corrosive or toxic. Perhaps her blood just causes things to rot.

Lastly, a minor thing is and perhaps I also left it open to too much interpretation is that blood demons tend to be Animalistic in appearance. That is to say, vertebrates. Wolves, bears, elephants, cats, dogs, lions, tigers, penguins, birds. Something like a Butterfly would be better suited as an Eye Demon, as they are specifically noted to be insectoid in appearance.

I think a good bit of the problems could be dealt with if she was an Eye Demon. They would have no qualms about fleeing instead of fighting to preserve their life, and a butterfly would fit here better. You'd just need to change her abilities a bit to fit in line with the Eye Demons lust and penchant for magic and knowledge.

@Rune_Alchemist

So, I've been running this through my head, on and off, since I read it. I'll preface by stating, I'm receiving this critique/response from you negatively, due to your opening statement: "Overall, the concept is...mhm, fine."

That, alone, sets an incredibly poor and dismissive tone, and suggests you've thrown out the possibility of acceptance, which leaves everything else as justification and leads me to suspect that you, either:

A: Never expected anyone to petition for a Demon Maid or, B: Were underprepared for anyone to actually petition for one at all, by listing it as a “restricted race”.

I feel, if it wasn’t meant to be accessible by players, it shouldn’t be an option for players.

EDIT: Forgot to mention, I did had another idea. Since this is a Steampunk, I'm curious if there is a way to be a Mechanic Maid - like, is there a way to invent or improve upon existing technologies?

I'm doubtful that something like Steampunk Mecha are possible, but a Steampunk Power Armor doesn't feel too far-fetched with the setting.

@Enkryption

I'm going to just say upfront, your response comes off as quite rude and makes you seem like a jerk here.

The fact of whether I wanted or expected someone to app a demon or not is irrelevant. (Quite the opposite, I was really hoping someone would, which is why I'm particular about them getting it right.) Ignoring the fact it seems like you didn't even read the basic demonic rules, I gave you clear cut reasons on why the idea you presented as it is, did not quite work out so well. She does not work well as a blood demon, and would work much better as an Eye demon - ones known for being insectoid and not having any tendencies other than making deals like your classical demons and pursuit of magical knowledge. Whelps and Demon Beasts are the animals, so she needs to be a high demon. I gave you ideas and potential ways the idea could work but instead of trying to work the idea out, you simply dismiss the critique in bad faith.

The fact you read malice and negativity where there was intended to be none and completely ignored what I did say tells me quite a bit about you, and more than enough for me to know this RP is not a good fit for you. I could go into more detail here, but as it stands, I'm going to simply tell you that this RP is simply not for you and to kindly leave.

I do wish you luck in your future endeavors and RPs.

@Rune_Alchemist

As if you could, honestly, know anything about me from a single interaction, any better than I could know you. I took your opening statement as dismissive - just calling my character concept "fine" doesn't inspire confidence that you actually care. There were plenty of ways to address it, and you choose one that rubbed me the wrong way; I'm free to express displeasure in that.

If my response is rude and makes me a jerk to you, that's fine. It's your right to feel that way. However, it's double standards that you can label me as a jerk and call it there, but I cannot find you to be equally as rude to me. Fact of the matter is: I did address your critique in a longer write up of why I felt that I would be better off with the choices that I did made, and why your suggestions did more harm than good, because I did read the lore several times, and made decisions that I assumed could be discussed more in-depth.


I paid perfectly fine attention, in my opinion, to your lore, I took your suggestions into consideration, and I wrote up my reasons for why I opted for Blood Demon over the others, and what I thought, at the time, Whelp actually was. However, your critique was just telling me what I SHOULD do, and not once asking me why I made the pick I did.

All that said, you've asked that I leave, and I will, but I won't do so without defending myself. Perhaps, I jumped the gun in assuming what I did, but you're reply did not give me much confidence in anything else.

If you'd like to have an actual conversation, I'm more than willing. I find this setting to be interesting, and uncommon to the usual offerings. If your decision is final, however, then good luck in your future endeavors and this RP as well.