The message fades and a brightness seeks into my eyes as they open, momentarily blinding me.

The verb "seek" means "to search or look for something," so I'm not sure this is the right way to use it. If you're trying to personify the brightness as doing the "seeking,", as if the source of the light is trying to pry the character's eyelids open, it would still need to be worded a little differently.

*Panic, not panick

You need to break your narrative up into proper paragraphs. Whenever your character's situation or train of thought changes, or when you need to adjust the pacing (that is, the figurative "speed" at which events in the story are happening) you should start a new paragraph. Particularly on web forums, it's also a good idea to have an extra line of space between paragraphs as well, whereas normal manuscripts rely on indentation.

Whenever a character speaks, you should also make a new paragraph. If the paragraph starts with dialogue, you can keep putting new dialogue in that same paragraph between narration segments as long as it's the same character speaking. When a new character speaks, start a new paragraph. Don't put dialogue into a paragraph if the paragraph didn't start with dialogue; instead use the dialogue as the start of a new paragraph.

Your viewpoint character needs more characterization. We as readers have no idea whether they're male or female, and no defining features to help us envision them in our heads, and very few personality traits with which to identify with them or understand their decisions. Your narration also needs more description to help the reader envision the setting and atmosphere, not just physically but emotionally as well.

I gaze around my surroundings, alien and unfamiliar.

Why are the surroundings alien and unfamiliar? Further on, the narrative does specify rocky surroundings and also an area of thick vegeation, in midday sunlight. Are these things unfamiliar to the character because they grew up in a desert environment, or in a dense city? Or, is it unfamiliar to them because the jungle features all manner of plants they've never seen before, with different colors and shapes than anything they've seen on Earth? And how do they feel, being in such an environment? Scared? Excited? Do these emotions provoke any physical reactions from them, such as trembling, heavy breathing, or a sudden thrill that sends tingles down their arms and legs? These are the kinds of questions you should ask yourself, putting the answers into writing so that you can protray your characters's feelings, perspectives, and surroundings to the reader in a way that enhances their ability to imagine it.

Now this ship I remember. I remember everything about her, gracefully going through the system bootup and preparing for launch.

This is another example where you could add character to the protagonist. If they remember everything about this ship, what stands out foremost in their mind? Do they remember how the ship has faithfully carried them through dogfights with space pirates? Do they remember working long nights in the hangar, repairing and upgrading the ship until it had top of the line specs, or cleaning it until it outshone every other ship in the space marine fleet? Using the character's memories, you can show us more of their backstory---where did they come from, what was their occupation, why were they in space to begin with, and so forth.

As it is, and as I understand is probably common with these types of "captain's log" playthroughs, your writing comes across as very mechanical. "This happened, and then this." By adding characterization and using the physical descriptions to provide atmosphere, you can create a series of events charged with more emotion, instead of just a simple description of events in linear time.

I would recommend looking up a book called The Elements of Style by Strunk & White to further improve your mastery of the different parts of the English language in general---you haven't made a bunch of grammatical mistakes or anything, but it just looks to me like you need a bit of brush up or something to reference to keep things in order. I also recommend that, instead of using adverbs such as "hastily, momentarily, emotionlessly," and other descriptors that you try to adjust your verb choice and your sentence structure to give stronger meaning and emphasis. For instance, instead of "walk quickly," use words like "hurried," "jogged," "scampered," etc depending on what you want to convey.

As an example, instead of saying that the exosuit system "emotionlessly states "Technology repaired," you could instead phrase it like this:
"Technology repaired," stated the exosuit system in a feminine, monotone digital voice muffled by the confines of my helmet. Calling the voice monotone and digital emphasizes that it is free of emotion because it's a machine, but are stronger descriptors than the adverb "emotionlessly" and also less awkward to read aloud. Generally, good writing should flow off the tongue the way eloquent speech does.

This is just my opinion, as it's mostly stylistic this time around. As you write more, and read more (never forget, writers must also be voracious readers), you'll find more of your own voice and your own preference for pacing, atmosphere, etc. But I think the last piece would be improved if the sentences and descriptions weren't quite so choppy (as in, they're rather short) and if they were a little less...I guess I'll say, down to earth? What I mean is that the sentences and the information they convey is very straightforward.

Our planet was called Obraxis, a lush planet covered in fertile fields. Almost the whole planet was a farming community. We had a small family of just Mom, Dad, and me.

This isn't bad at all, it gets right to the point and maybe that's the kind of writing you feel most comfortable with. But here's what I mean by being less concrete about your details, and putting in a little more information so that sentences have variable lengths instead of all being so short and direct:

Our planet was called Obraxis. I still remember looking down at the golden seas of grain from our crop duster---the first vessel I learned to fly, long before I ever imagined a life among the stars. The heads of wheat grew so thick and so tall, watching the mecha-combines comb the fields felt like watching a pod of whales breach the sea surface. Thousands of miles of the planet's surface were covered by lush fields of every variety, enough produce to export to half a dozen colonies. The farmsteads, dotted here and there amidst the gold and green oceans, were the closest thing to civilization I ever knew growing up.

Growing up. Back then it felt like it took forever. Looking back at it now, it passed in the blink of an eye. My whole world was so small---just me, Mom, and Dad. My father was always somewhat distant, but I always knew he cared about us. If he hadn't, his hands wouldn't have been so tough, and his face so leathered and worn from the sun. My mother was a tough woman, strong-willed and sharp-minded. What Dad often didn't know how to say, she knew without him saying anything.

I'd worked on our farm since....

If you find that style of writing too overly wordy or slow paced, though, that's completely up to you. Like I said, the more you work at it, the more you'll develop. Keep writing, and don't be afraid to go back and change earlier things--just don't get rid of your original drafts, either! Everything is a building block to something better.