"There's a concept going around: everyone knows everything there is to know about the universe, they just choose not to know it. As a whole, society has determined that this is the best course of action and it has been regarded as an all around good idea."



"I don't own that image. I don't own the rights to the book or movie either, so... I think it's safe to say that you should panic. In a timely and organized fashion, please."

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Okay, bear with me here...

What if the futurists had it right the first time? What if, by the 21st century, things really did change? And not the change that you or I know it to be, but a sudden leap. As if someone thought it wise to just cut a large, important portion of history and glued the end bits back together. What was the worse turn out of the century was the fact that no one cared to notice. They were quite indifferent about it, actually. It was a regular day in the life of a human; like well trained dogs. Pavlov would be proud of such conditioning. But, conditioned or not, the universe didn't quite care about a human's opinion. Soon, the world no longer ran on floppy disks, but rather intangible memory banks stored in microbial chips. The trend was no longer booty shorts and Capris and more like Artificial Intelligence and nanobots. It was only slightly dreadful to the previous generation.

And suddenly, with its vast stores of technology and no vast intelligence to run it, the Earth had become worthy of the acknowledgement of other cosmic civilizations. But, what one would expect were the liberators of our own ignorance soon became different amalgamations of our own foolishness. Not quite what a being of intelligence would hope for. So, it would be determined by the minds of the scientific community, of what little remained, that the current state of the universe was simply: tragic. And thus, the Stephen Hawkings and Niel Degrasse Tysons, with the sudden 'eye-opening' brought on by the tech advancement, were refuted and disproved until they were finally erased from the fabric of our universe. Such fickle beings. But, tragic or not, it was alright.

You want to know why it was okay?

Because it really didn't matter if it was okay or not. It was survival of the fittest, social Darwanism at its best. Not to mention any theories of evolution were completely eradicated or merely rewritten to accommodate the sentient A.I. that somehow appeared out of thin air. It didn't help that, with the cosmic witch-hunt of forward thinkers, Darwin fell as they did into the trap of non-existence, despite already being dead. By this account, the universe (or at least our world) should have imploded and become just one giant black hole of nothingness, but nothing makes sense anyways, so why the hell not? And no one questioned this sudden paradox of discontinuity. Why? Because someone already did and that person was sucked into a giant abyss, now dubbed a Paradoxical Wormhole, to be forever trapped in oblivion or transported through some weird Einstein-Rosenburg bridge to Asgard. No one knows which one, but they assume the former. It's exactly how the novella and encyclopedia came to get its best seller (and a lot of money), dubbed, "Poor Gary," along with its rave reviews on how it was such an informative and melancholy piece of reference work.

This is the world as it is today, messed up and so full of itself that it should have erupted millennia ago. Sadly, this is where you live and you aren't getting out. At least the technology is great and there is an abundance of people to dribble mindlessly with as you go along your worthless life until you ultimately die, like the rest of us. The good thing is, you're ignorant enough to go along with it. No one asks questions because if they did, they'd end up like Gary. And who wants to get a posthumous Nobel Peace Prize or the fame that he did? Do you know what posthumous means? It means your in-laws and ungrateful children get your hard earned reward.

That's not a world I'd like to live in.

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"I don't own that either, so sorry for getting your hopes up. Not really, though."

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Your story takes place in this exact same universe.

But, there is no fancy guide to help you along the way, no towel for safety, and certainly no assurance that you'll survive, printed in fabulously bright and bold letters on the cover. This story is terribly bleak, and only slightly comical—comical, in the sense that everyone, on the outside, finds your struggle to live hilarious. If you want to put a genre on it, I think the best would be dystopian. And maybe a satire because you are middle-class, right? And you are downtrodden and oppressed. A great quip to the society we currently live in, right? Anything that'll sell. What more, there's only one job out there that will take you in. Only one job that can maybe, possibly help you live a few days longer.

My job.

The job you're currently looking at from the newspaper you found in some teaser's garbage. A job that provides way below the minimum wage with absolutely no insurance, not even the one the world government grants you (who am I kidding, that's just an urban legend). You want to know why? Because I'm in your exact situation, with just about no way out but a rundown delivery company that barely got off its feat before—maybe not barely, but that's not important. That's a lot of hope that I'm instilling in your heart, right now. But, it's a lot more than any opportunity that you can barely grasp. Most opportunities are granted to those with a lot more privilege than what you currently have, like people who can actually think properly and aren't hopelessly scrounging in the gutters. And honestly, this is as much hope I can afford. The more I instill, the more I pay for in this ad.

You'll get about $2.75 an hour and work enough hours that it would be defy the laws of physics if you were to get another part-time job. But, there's been a lot of that recently, so I wouldn't be surprised if you found a way. There are no breaks and I dock your pay for every hour you don't work, including hours that you're off. I need a profit if I'm able to keep this company afloat and we sure as hell aren't getting that by delivering shit. What more, I do expect you to be my personal guinea pigs so that we can make even more money selling scientific information that may or may not be a detriment to your health. I don't pay for your medical expenses, so it's not my problem. As well, our lovely ship will be piloted by a very trusty pilot. The ship, of which, is an old United Bureaucracy of Corporate Worlds Navy (UBCWN) battle cruiser that I rigged to work as a delivery ship. By rigged, I mean screwed up the controls so that only the basics work. It currently doesn't have a name because I'm quite inept at that. Maybe... "The Entropic Dementia." Huh...

Any questions regarding why a delivery company when teleporters are a thing will be funneled into my, 'I don't give a shit,' box of complaints.

We hire anyone, anything, for whatever the hell you want. We deliver shit; that's our motto. That's actually our entire motto. You've got no where else to go, so why not go here?

"We deliver shit; that's our motto." — Dr. Nosek, Ph.D (I'm a reputable source of information, so why not trust my word?)

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A Betterment to Bettering Your Self-Preservation:

1. Don't be stupid. Have some common sense, please. If there are any disputes, take it up with me and if I can't find a reasonable way to solve it, then I permit you two to a Mexican stand-off, within the privacy of your own rooms. I heard those either end in two ways: with the two of you in a heated, steamy pile of coitus or one (or both) of you riddled with bullets. I'm fine with either solutions, as long as it is a solution. The kind that fixes things, not the one where you mix... never mind.

2. If I make an order, then you follow it. That's pretty simple, right? So, if I say, "Hey, Phil, why don'tcha get me a sandwich?" what do you say? Definitely not, "Kindly fuck yourself, sir." No, I kid. You're at your own devices, but if there's a time I need to put my foot down, I do expect you all to wholeheartedly listen.

3. Life demands of us all. I totally understand if you're ten tentacled wife is being the B word and the C word combined to make the S word. That's bitch, cu—never mind, you aren't children. But, if it does happen to pull you away from work, I'm docking your pay... and I would like you to notify me beforehand. You don't have vacation days, but I'd like to fill your spot in as soon as possible. Chances are she's going to kill you and you're going to end up on the nightly news as that 'One-guy who just couldn't please her woman,' and we're all going to laugh at your expense. But, hey, at least there wasn't a meltdown at work today because I didn't have a navigator that could have told us we were heading into a photon storm near the Andromeda Galaxy, which shredded us to pieces and left no one to mourn for our long, lost, and disintegrated bodies.

4. Don't be too hasty there, hotshot! I can't have you turning the ship port-side into that gas giant station without first having our co-pilot give the station our docking codes so we can get our clearance without getting shot out of the sky. Plus, if you go in too fast without our engineers checking for any leakage or properly venting the excess heat from our exhaust, then we're all going to explode the moment we hit the stratosphere. Slow your horses, kiddo—this is a ship we're running, not a carnival. Wait for at least two people do do their jobs before you go running around like a maniac. Even the ship's idiot has to have time to prepare his gallivanting before he goes and does it (and tie his shoes).

5. I don't want nonsense! If you want to speak, then use the Queen's English! Or, at least turn on your translator. I'm not asking for much here; I just want to know what the hell you're saying. We don't need any mishaps caused by a misunderstanding. I don't need any of you shouting 'Pom-Poms' while pointing at a cheerleader and having it read as, 'BOMB! BOMBS!' to the nearest policeman. I don't give a shit if she gets her head blown off by a .50 caliber. What I care about is the expense we'll have to pay when they find out you were just screaming out a jumbled nonsense and getting someone killed! No need for fancy words or grammatical cues that our local stenographer will have to type out. I just want people to understand you.

6. A maximum of two sentient artificial intelligence, please. I can't stress this enough. You have no idea the money I would have to pay to keep more than two operational and even then, there's a likelier chance that a HAL 9000 will come rolling on in to kill us all. Can you open the bay doors?! "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that." My name's not Dave. Just no, please. I'm not dealing with a homicidal maniac—human, robot, or otherwise.

7. Be respectful of your crew mates. I can't stress this either. I don't need you to get along, I just need to know that none of you are going to kill each other. It'll only benefit you because I'm not paying for shit—emotional or physical trauma. Don't be dicks and you may survive each other.

8. Have fun. This only benefits you. If you're having fun, then you aren't worrying about the fact that you aren't making shit for money and have no insurance if you get maimed and broken. Just make sure your fun isn't at the expense of others and, most importantly, isn't costing me money.

9. Lastly (maybe), if you're going to have sex with your crew mates, then I have a few guidelines to lay out. Firstly, if it's not a relationship, then you DON'T have to fill out a form. Secondly, no sex on the fucking controls. Thirdly, no goddamn sex where we eat our food, for fuck's sake. And lastly, this is between two (or more) CONSENTING ADULTS. Oh, and don't do it publicly. You can do it anywhere but where I've told you not to, as long as you're the only people there. No one wants to see any of your nasty asses getting it on. So, be kind and do not fuck in public. And no weird mutilation shit either. I don't care if he or she or it has ultra regenerative powers. I'm not cleaning any of that shit up.

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A Howto on How to Make Yourself Presentable: A Guide on Cleaning Up



Note: Below is a survey on the current crew we have organized. When possible, please complete the survey. You may start and submit copies regardless of their current state. The survey is ever growing as more crew join the ranks of our Glorious State of Arstotzka Delivery Company. Your submitted drafts will be saved in our databanks and will sway further decisions concerning the crew.

Please, consider these questions: How are your current relations to the crew? If not, how would you feel any relations would develop? Is this person a detriment to your personal environment? Is this person generally a sourpuss? What is the likelihood of a dimensional rift tearing between the two of you caused by unwarranted conflict, thus releasing an eldritch horror into our universe? Is there anything you would like to say about this person? Is there anything mature and adult you would like to say to this person? Do you believe them to be a good addition to our crew? If not, then why? If so, then... I guess, why?

I do expect you to be able to gather this data through simply scanning their dossier, which is submitted and given to each crew member to read and analyze. Thank you, for your service.

Glory to Arstotzka

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The Essentials to the Essential Crew

Scientist/Owner — Taken by Sixsmith - [Doctor Eckhart Nosek]
Scientist/Towel Boy/Girl/It (A new addition) —
Pilot — (Jump Pilot taken by Ex - [Jane Pepper]) Taken by both The MightyGos - Arthur Can'tpronounceyourname and Mizuho - Clarisse Even Jenkins
Co-Pilot — Apparently No One
Engineers/Mechanics — One Taken by RedDusk - [Krios Cerus]
Janitor (Another established addition) — Taken by Gargoyle - Harriet
Resident Idiot — (Back up Idiot taken by The Whacko - [Carnus Uvenk])
Cook — Taken by Slint - [Johanne Bry]
The Sex Appeal (Position can be filled by an active crew member) — Taken by Ex - Jane Pepper?
Medic/Doctor — Taken by Dusk/Fallout - [Glyxisarius Sel'thice]
Delivery Boy/Gal/Thing — Taken by The Whacko - [Carnus Uvenk]
Tech Expert (Also in charge of advertising and marketing) — Taken by Fetus - Hay the Horse
Navigator — Taken by Ex - [Jane Pepper]
Possibly a Robot (Just not a HAL) —

NOTE: If I missed anything, then please tell me! All of these don't need to be filled for us to get started, but eventually we will need most of them filled to keep going. Also, if we need, then some of these can be taken by more than one individual. As long as it makes sense! As well, if we end up with not enough people, then some of you HAVE to take on more than one role. The roles that are needed are Pilot, One Engineer, Medic, Navigator, Techie, and The Other Scientist.

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A Careful Guideline on What Precisely a Ship Should Look Like

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Currently Alive and Breathing: Dossiers for your Personal Enjoyment

Doctor Eckhart Nosek - Owner/Scientist

Jane Pepper - Pilot/Navigator

Glyxisarius Sel'thice - Medical Doctor

Krios Cerus - Engineer

Carnus Uvenk - Idiot Delivery Boy

Martha - Minor Character/A.I.

Johanne "Joh" Bry - The Carribean Cook

Hay - The Techie Half-Asshole

Harriet - The Janitor Without a Voice

Arthur BECAUSE HIS NAME'S TOO HARD TO PRONOUNCE - A Pilot

Clarisse Eve Jenkins - The Other Pilot

I'll put my character sheet in this post when it's done.

Added the Ship Layout to the OOC.

And I'll reserve this spot for my character.

I will allow multiple characters when, and if, there are spots that need to be filled and no one is here to fill them.

And I've added a robot to the roster of possible crew members.

Oh, Hae, you majestic fucker.

If no one has already said something about the Doctor, I have a few ideas percolating for it >:D

Yay, Fallout. :D The Doctor is definitely up for grabs.

And other Dusk, can I call your Red? Your character looks good. :) I just put a catchphrase section in the CS, but it's not a priority to put it in immediately. I enjoy that he'll be quite adept at navigating the bowels of the ship. I really don't want a bunch of dead engineers clogging up our exhaust ports. :(

Alrighty, I'm done with Eckhart, if you'd all like to read your glorious leader's dossier.

He is not the captain of the ship, but he does often join the crew in their journeys. He merely owns it. I will choose the captain. :o

The Captain, by the way, needs to be someone who's been with the Second Delivery Company since it started. I say second, because the first one lost all of its employees either to death or other companies.

Again, Pilot/Navigator, an Engineer, a Janitor, the Doctor, and the Techie should be one of those people. All others will have JUST joined. It helps with what I've currently got planned for the dynamic of the crew.

I'm going to add Martha soon. She's not technically a part of the crew, as she won't take up a spot. She's, at best, either comic relief, a convenient character, or just a minor, supporting character.

NOTE: Anyone who wants the janitor... I am looking for a particular character.

This is what happens when you put "tentacles" and "acid trip" in the same character skeleton.

EDIT: OHAY THERE.

Lol, what a tragic fellow. D: I'll add him to the list on the Relations Sheet. :o

Yeeeey! :D

Hurrah!

So, how is everyone doing on their CSes? :o

Don't forget to ask me questions! I, as an writer-ish, miss my own mistakes like a normal human being. I created this, so I know what I want and have it in mind, but I may have forgotten to clearly and coherently write it. If things are vague and if there are things you don't understand or things I may have forgotten to explain, then please say so. Ask me! This can only get better if we actively work to make it better. =D Hurray, teamwork!

Here she is. I'll definitely go back and edit this as the RP progresses, or even just to add more information if I think of it. I kept the biography purposefully short, but if anyone wants to me add anything specific, or would like to establish the nature of the relationship between Jane and their character, please let me know.

Note: I have decided that rather than go my usual route of revealing very little about my character and keeping it a secret from the rest of you guys, I am going to explain basically everything I've decided about Jane here. I'll leave it up to individuals and Sixsmith to decide how much any one character knows about her in-universe, but I imagine most of you won't know much of anything aside from what she'd tell you. Information that should definitely be a secret from almost everyone is in the parenthetical sections (that is to say, if it's in parenthesis, your character probably would NOT know about it).

Name/Alias: "Jane Pepper" (almost certainly a made-up name for her current persona. I've left previous names and personas, including her "true" or original identity blank so that they can be useful plot devices later. If any are uncovered, I will add them.)

Gender: "Female" (Her species is not gendered in its natural form.)

Age: Probably very old, but it'd be impolite to ask. (Around 1,250 years old. Jane is relatively old for her species.)

Race: "Human" (Shapeshifter, actual species name uncertain. She - and most members of her species - dislike the terms "shapeshifter" and "changeling," but find their usage more tolerable than actually revealing information about their race to aliens. Jane's species has probably been around for a very long time, and there are probably many more of them then you or I might imagine. They have no "actual" form, but dissolve into a whirling blue matter-energy matrix when they rest. Each transformation uses up a certain amount of this energy, which they then reabsorb from the environment. They can mimic almost any species, animal or object almost intuitively, but more complex objects are more difficult, as are objects which are particularly dense or heavy. The size of the forms they can take is limited by the amount of energy they have stored up - the limits are not exact, but are based on the dimensions of the thing they want to appear as and the effort required to generate it. Jane can probably appear as something about 7-8 feet tall and weighing about 300 pounds, at maximum. The difficulty of the change is also affected by how similar the shifter's target form is to its current guise: That is, if Jane wishes to change her outfit or grow an extra finger, that's much easier than going from her usual appearance to something completely different. How shapeshifters are able to so perfectly imitate living beings (or generally complex objects with obscured inner bits) is a closely guarded secret, but probably involves an unpleasant mix of genetic experimentation, dissection, and science textbooks.

The longer Jane maintains a form, the more comfortable she is with it. Newer forms are harder to coordinate and balance, especially larger ones, which puts some limits on how useful Jane's shapeshifting can be in fights against skilled opponents (not that she'll have to be doing much of that, one hopes). Jane's physical form is sustained by the immaterial energy she's used to create it (which can be detected around/within her but is not visible to most species' naked eyes), so she doesn't necessarily need to eat or otherwise sustain herself, though her body is functionally human and can do that if need be. She is immune to most diseases and most forms of ionizing radiation, though there are different variations on both these things which might affect shapeshifters and not humans (in fact, shapeshifters like to hang around nuclear reactors because of all the tasty energy they give off). If Jane's physical body were injured, or killed she can simply revert to her default "resting" state and reassemble it. Therefore, the easiest way to kill a shapeshifter (for values of "easy" which are still equal to "very difficult") would be to force them to quickly take on a variety of shapes, until they exhausted themselves, without giving them time to recoup the energy losses.

The link between a shapeshifter's living guise and the state of its "true" energy-being form goes both ways. If Jane is feeling tired or exerting herself a lot in human form, she will need to rest and restore energy eventually. If something is sapping her energy or otherwise affecting her non-physical aspects, she may show signs of distress in her human form. Her mind is shared between both forms as a product of both her human brain and her non-physical "true" self: emotions, memories, thoughts, and general consciousness flows both ways. This connection is an especially useful adaptation because it makes Jane feel and act like a real flesh-and-blood... whatever she might be. Thus, for example, if Jane is sad, she'll cry physical tears, if she's amused, she'll laugh, if she's aroused... I think it's a little warm in here. Is it warm in here to you?

Because of this mind-body connection, shapeshifters can and do feel pain, though they are more adept at ignoring it and can, naturally, heal themselves pretty well. Severe pain is a distraction which makes shifting forms difficult, however. Similarly, most shapeshifters use physical guises which are not fertile, so they are in no danger of accidentally reproducing (or accidentally aborting an unborn child when they change forms). Children of shapeshifters and other species may carry unusual genetic markers identifying them as such, but will be entirely members of the species which produced them (they will not be shapeshifters or have any partial shapeshifting abilities). Culturally, it's very important to shapeshifters to "fully inhabit" whatever form they take; they try to limit the degree to which they numb pain, curttail experiences or feelings, and so on, so that they will better understand and better blend in with the other beings around them.

As with the name, Jane's species' culture, behavior and history are secrets they guard fervently - while Jane doesn't necessarily make her species a secrethttp://txt.last-outpost.net/p/JanePepper, she tends to strongly prefer changing shape in private, if she's going to alter something relatively large or significant. Her species worships deities that they call the Unconstants, beings who can take any form of any size at any time simply by willing it. Jane practices this religion as well, to some extent. At some point in the past, her species had its own worlds and government. Most of that was destroyed by another species out of a combination of jealousy, fear, and hate. They don't talk about it. Right now, her species is in a state of diaspora, spread out amongst the stars and living mostly incognito amongst other lifeforms. A lot of them, for some reason, choose to be birds.

Jane's species does procreate, but how they do this is not information for public consumption. Jane has no children and no living relatives she knows of.
I'll add more information on the species' culture/history/etc as I think it up.)

Appearance:


Jane's age is hard to determine from her looks. She seems young, but sometimes there are lines in her face that make her look much older. She has large, blue-gray eyes that go wide when she's emotional. Her clothes are modern and stylish, if casual, and they seem to have pretty unlimited variety (perks of being a shapeshifter). She adamantly refuses to wear any kind of uniform. She cleans up extremely well, and she can pull off most degrees of attractive (from adorable to sultry, and most grades in between), but doesn't do it often. (I'll add more pictures if I find them and they're relevant to her in the RP.)

Her movements are very animated, and she gestures a lot when she speaks. Her voice is equally lively and expressive; though she has a very neutral accent, she occasionally uses phrases or words that aren't quite modern. She sings pretty well in a high, soft soprano. She's strong for her build and body, but not inhumanly so; she is, however, much more flexible than most humans would be. This is because, as mentioned above, she's had a long time to fine-tune and develop her current guise.

(Jane has lived in this form for several dozen years, under various names and in various professions. She's pretty attached to it and can be pretty vain because she's so proud of it.)

Position: FTL Pilot/Navigator/Science thing-doer (Originally hired because she was the only applicant old enough and smart enough to understand with the ship's ancient, somewhat crabby computer systems. Generally disapproves of new hires, people who were previously new hires, discussion of making new hires, new hires taking jobs away from her that were previously hers, or being assigned jobs that were previously those of the new hires. Famously irritated by questions about why she's so eager to do the job of five people, but only the ones she selects for herself.

All that said, though, she's extremely good at what she does. She has yet to stick the ship inside a solid object even partially, despite threatening to do so on several occasions. Jane seems to have a nearly encyclopedic knowledge of the galaxy - star systems, steller/interstellar phenomena, and all-night diners with palatable organic-compound substitutes. She's also been on the crew somewhat longer than most of the others.)

Personality: It would be reasonable to think that shapeshifters are very good actors, and that in fact any behavior we observe in them is specific to whatever role they're playing, and indeed, whatever disguise they've assumed at a given moment. This is a very reasonable assumption that is true most of the time, but Jane will have none of it. When she created her current body, Jane decided that the rest of her life was too much time to continue to be an actor. She may be a shapeshifter, but in terms of personality, what you see is generally what you get.

However, a twelve-hundred-year lifespan and who knows how many disguises has left Jane more than a little uncertain about what her core personality actually is. She knows she's clever, very clever, in fact, and she knows she doesn't suffer fools or nonsense lightly. She knows she's stubborn - or at least very used to getting her way. In her relationships with others, though, she can be hard to follow: Engaging, even charming in one moment, then quiet and distant in the next. Her life has been long and often difficult, and she doesn't place trust easily, or often. She has a tendency to lash out, usually over boundaries or disagreements that the target of her anger didn't even know existed, and she certainly has something of a temper. She can be gentle, even loving (her attitude towards the ship itself is something like love; she thinks of it like a favorite pet), but has a hard time working up the trust required for such an arrangement. Once you get used to her general cantankerousness, she's generally amusing to be around (if a little too abrasive sometimes). She enjoys the kind of flippant, "we're-all-in-this-together-but-I-really-can't-stand-any-of-you-slobs" camaraderie a ship's crew tends to have, and she's happy to banter with her shipmates. The only employees she doesn't like are new hires - she views them all with suspicion, at least until they've proven they'll be sticking around.

Jane's very observant (she's had a lot of practice). She doesn't miss much in the behavior of others, and she picks up on speech patterns, physical and verbal tics, and other small personal affects effortlessly. Even without altering her body or voice, she's an excellent mimic. Her taste entertainment is always for the daring, the bizarre, and the story untold. Her general invulnerability to the kinds of death most other beings fear (disease, injury, coronary arteries) gives her an appearance of being fearless and adventurous. Famously, she'll eat almost anything (preferably a lot of it) and she's nearly incapable of resisting a challenge or dare. Make no mistake, though, she's as attached to her own skin as anyone, for values of "skin" that equate to "matter-energy consciousness array." Her bravery extends only as far as acts she feels confident won't do her any harm.

Deep down, Jane isn't sure she'll ever really get humanity (or any other species), because their lives are so much shorter and their perspectives so much more limited. Jane doesn't necessarily want to be human (or anything else), she just wants to understand, but she can't shake the feeling that she's too fundamentally different. She worries that for all her centuries' experience, the gulf separating her and them is too wide. She's loved, and hated, she's won and lost, and none of it has helped her feel less like she was something other, uncomfortable with who she is and who she isn't. She doesn't have a plan for her life right now. She knows she's old, and she knows she's probably only got a couple centuries left, if that, but even she herself isn't sure why she's choosing to spend her remaining time working for a ragtag delivery company on a barely-functional husk of a battleship. Certainly, she wants something better, but what form that will take she doesn't know.

Biography: Jane rarely talks about her past "lives" - who she was before her current guise. She seems very interested in keeping that area of her life firmly behind her. Most likely, she was born (or generated, or whatever her species does) on one of her species' colony worlds (before most of them were destroyed). Her activities before becoming Jane Pepper are difficult to ascertain - only she knows, and she isn't telling. (Like I mentioned before, Jane's past could be a useful plot device for the RP, so I don't want to put too much here that would preclude us doing something more useful with it later.)

Jane joined the crew around the time the company was founded, at the request of Doc Eckhart, who she'd met some time prior during the course of some of his research (at least, this is what they both say; Jane may very well have known one of his previous clone iterations). She's been navigator since then, and is one of the longest-standing crew members. In her time with the ship (as she's quick to remind everyone) she's done her job quite well. Except for the times she didn't.

Miscellaneous: Jane speaks a bunch of languages, covering a variety of species, and can alter her voice to produce sounds humans can't make. Because of this, she sometimes serves as a de facto translator for the crew. She makes a point of knowing a variety of curse words and insults in any language she speaks. She's a very competent martial artist, but would happily take a weapon over an unarmed fight any day. She's familiar with a vast amount of human and alien technology, and is generally very well-read and well-educated.

Jane rests in the "blank room," because it's the only room big enough and empty enough for her to dissolve her human form and spread out a little. She has her own quarters as well, near the navigation facilities, which she uses to relax off-duty when she isn't resting. (Contrary to popular belief, shapeshifter "resting" is not "sleeping," which Jane is entirely capable of doing in her human form if she so desires, dreams and all.) She's known among the crew for having a surprisingly massive appetite, and for being willing to eat nearly anything. Food is probably her favorite of human physical pleasures. (OK, maybe second favorite, but that first one hasn't been an option for quite a while.)

Jane doesn't mind answering questions about her shapeshifting abilities, but she's heard a lot of them before and it's nothing you can't look up on a kiosk anyway. She won't talk to anybody, even close friends, about her past or her species' culture or rituals. Those stories aren't hers to tell.



Catchphrase: "What? That's dumb. You're dumb. Go away."

This is by far the best thing I've ever seen ever.

Dr Fetus said
This is by far the best thing I've ever seen ever.

*Mega Blush*

You flatter me, kind, young Fetus.

Someone be my Janitor, dammit.

I need a Captain. D:<

So when I wrote this I was going a little Horse Crazy. Honestly though, what good delivery service doesn't have a horse or two.

Name:
Hay

Alias:
Horseman, Horse Guy, Horse

Gender:
Male.

Age:
68

Race:
Horseman

Appearance:


Position:
Tech Expert

Personality:
Honestly, Hay is much like how one would expect a horse man to be like. Horsey but also strangely manly. But then again I guess most people don't quite understand what Horses are like when given manly traits. Ahem. The Horse man is the perfect combination of indifference towards those who do not feed them and empathy towards those who do anger them. Hay, like most horsemen, tends to be more than slightly aggressive towards everyone around him. While this may make him a hard person to be friends with, everyone loves him because he's a horse. He is witty and sarcastic and smarter than humans because they do not have the combined power of both Horse and man. In all seriousness though He's kind of a asshorse. Prone to violence and quick of temper Hay makes both a great pet and crew member.

Biography:
Okay so before I begin, I wrote this before I saw the warning to not keep it below the acid trip line.

Hay and his various brothers now spread out through humanity were created to be the perfect pets for humanity. Engineered to be both great friends and good to ride on with the added benefit of living many many many lifetimes, the Horsemen were the new Humanity's best friends. Hay was picked up by a small family who wanted a horse for their daughter. Being young and rather naive Hay was actually quite a decent fellow. As the child grew Hay didn't really grow at all since he was a Horseman, but hey, he learned a lot about human nature. Soon the girl grew up and didn't need a horseman anymore so Hay became a babysitter of sorts. Doing jobs in a out eventually Hay earned enough to send himself to community college. After a few years he got degrees in computer science and Finance. After that he began to take odd jobs around the universe. Eventually he ended up on a planet named Scull and met the Doctor. Intrigued the Doctor hired him and with his half-self taught half-shitty college experience Hay took on the part of Tech Expert aboard the Ship! That still needs a name maybe.

Catchphrase:
"I'm a god damn horse."

Miscellaneous:
Cthulhu?

Name: Oruthar Yeu142 (actual name, not a password)

Alias:

Gender: Male

Age: 24.

Race:

Grethonte, a race of proud and mighty turtle people. Hailing from planet Sea (it's surface is 1/4 water and 3/4 earth but they call it Sea and nobody remembers why) they are tripedal creatures with a hard shell covering their backs. They possess several sets of eyes that sprout from holes in their carapace and have a circular mouth on their stomach which is covered by four elastic lips that double as tentacles to fetch food into their eat-hole. This, in addition to the fact that they lack a head per se freaks the hell out of other races, but they're overall nice people, not like those Reedel douches.

The Reedel, unlike the Grethonte, hail from planet Dick (or so Grethonte textbooks say), a neighboring planet in the same solar system. They appear to be, if compared to Earth's fauna, a mix between lizards and insects, with the body of an iguana and the eyes, wings and arms of a fly. One day the Reedel visited Sea and took back with them the species they found most suitable for their purpose. With the use of heavy genetic engineering they managed to turn the strange turtle-like people they found into a sentient race, and so the Grethonte came to be. As to be expected, the Reedel enslaved the hell out of them, and during many centuries Grethonte were used as beasts of burden and servants, prooving to be hardy and loyal. No man's freedom can be supressed forever, even if he doesn't know what freedom is, or isn't even a man in the first place but more like a freaky turtle thing, so the Grethonte rose against their masters. They didn't stand a chance at all, and the Reedel could have ended their misery right there. But they couldn't have that, cause they were assholes, so they came up with an offer to the Grethonte. They didn't really had a chance at all, with war just at their doorstep, living in constant fear and dying of diseases they didn't know how to treat by themselves the Grethonte accepted what quite possibly was the most bizarre peace treaty to ever exist in the history of known universe.

The Grethonte were given the means to return to their planet, but they were also forced to have 50% of their working class in service of Reedel corporations or any-other-race-the-Reedel-saw-fit corporations. They worked Sea's soil and natural resources, and the Grethonte couldn't do anything about it because if they were to break the contract they'd be getting into a war they could not win. It is true that the overall situation changed for the better, but the Grethonte were still being controlled by the Reedel, and with each passing year the Reedel's power and riches grew thanks to the excellent business they had established in Sea, making the goal of one day being able to defeat their enslavers seem like nothing but a dream from the past.

Nowadays Sea is a decaying planet. After 4000 years the corporations have exhausted almost all of Sea's resources, and it is uncertain what the Reedel will do with it once it's nothing but a worthless rock. Most of the people live in poberty while a leading minority runs the world, most likely because they work for the Reedel...

Appearance:

I'll put my drawing here once it's finished.

Position:

Pilot

Personality:

Oruthar is overall a nice fella. He has a noble heart and thinks selflessly, putting the others' priorities before his. He'll avoid confrontation at any cost, even when insulted or hurt, choosing instead to retreat. Even though he tries to seem content all the time, the impending demise of his home planet constantly troubles him.

THE
END

I'm sorry that this is all I have for now. I'd have finished it today (in about an hour) but it turns out it's a friend's birthday in a while (I've just found out yesterday otherwise I'd have delayed the CS to saturday from the begginning) so I gottago now but hopefully this is enough to save a seat for myself so I can finish this tomorrow.

I thought that was the finished application, for a moment.

"What the hell kind of ship am I running here?"

Hey, the more the merrier. I need the priority roles filled before I can start this thing up, so feel free to join!

*Raises hand excitedly*
I'll be the janitor, if you'd like. What sort of character did you have in mind?

Gargoyle said
*Raises hand excitedly*I'll be the janitor, if you'd like. What sort of character did you have in mind?

Either something inspired by Scruffy from Futurama or something inspired by Neil Flynn from Scrubs. I don't want to limit your creativity, so go wild, sir. Go wild.

I do have one request that must be implemented: he must have been established in the crew already. *Nods* Jane has been there since the first one started, but he doesn't need to have staid that long. As long as he or she or it has been among the crew that was with Eckhart when he started the Second Company.