Name: Gowglakk Bangdakka
Species: Ork
'Rank'/Type: Big Mek, thus at roughly the same level as a Nob. Also a Flash Git some time ago, but now less obsessed with guns than he was.
Age: 57
Klan: Bad Moons
Appearance: As with any Nob-level Ork, Gowglakk is incredibly large - about eight and a half feet tall, thus a foot or more taller than any mere Boy and even some other Nobz, on top of being significantly wider and more than twice as heavy as the former, mostly for sheer weight of packed muscle. His skin is a nice Orky shade of dark green, his left eye possesses a lovely blood red hue, and his gob is chock-full of teef with a great yellow colour on them, plenty of which are gold-plated.
More notable, however, are the large number of bioniks attached to his body, to the extent that other Orks might wonder why he hasn't degraded into a Madboy yet. Most notably, a chunky mechanical arm covered in large slabs of gold is attached to his right shoulder, ending in a four-bladed Power Klaw with joints on each "finger" akin to those in a normal hand, as well as the capacity to rotate those blades to any angle both on their own axis and around a circular slider on the weapon, apparently for "more dekks-territy" when working on technology, but with the incidental capacity to chop and stab in whatever direction Gowglakk likes with each blade, for instance in the manner of an Astartes Lightning Claw, or a power blender.
As well as this, his head has black-painted metal plates bolted over the top and back, a pattern replicated in the form of 'Eavy Karapace Armour bolted across much of the rest of his body, to make his most important bits ded 'ard (though the brown Squig leather clothing underneath is inexplicably able to be removed regardless), and his right eye has been replaced with a bionic eye that picks out targets for long-distance krumping with whatever shooty weapon he's using at the moment. A myriad of lesser bioniks are prevalent in various areas across the rest of his body, though few of these have had any significance as of yet. Lastly, a blue-painted Iron Gob is attached to his face, just to make sure all the dangerous bullets miss his head, though he has plans for an even more Orky type of 'ead protection in the works.
Personality: Gowglakk is, of course, a Mekboy at heart, and has the mindset to prove it - when he's not bashing the gitz weaker than himself, he's thinking about his next project, be it a simple shoota for one of the Boyz, or the burgeoning suit of Mega Armour he's been cooking up for a couple of years now. "'s a big projekt," he says about it when asked, "I's gots ta test everyfink ta make sure it werks properly." And that, right there, is what makes him so strange - unlike the vast majority of Orks, Gowglakk has acquired a somewhat absurd amount of what he calls "pragmattik forts". That is to say, he thinks like a Blood Axe despite being a Bad Moon, and then to a degree that quite a few Blood Axes never achieve. He's a big proponent of tactics and strategies that most Orks see as highly un-Orky, even downright bizarre, things like "dodgin' da enemy's attakks so dey don't krump ya" and "attackin' da enemy from a 'idin' place so's dey don't see ya attackin' dem 'til it's too late"; indeed, a certain lesser degree of this kind of thinking was what led him to become a Flash Git in the first place, though he now sees that sort of attachment to flair and weaponry as "distraktin' from da reel biznis ov buildin' things ta krump gits wiv". Of course, he still retains a reasonable amount of Orkiness, being just as up for a scrap as any other Ork, and holds a bit of a soft spot for his personal equipment as a holdover from his days as a Flash Git, even if he claims to be totally past it.
History: Right, lads! Fer sum reason, ya all wanted me ta talk about wot I's done in da past, an' I's gots da time ta talk, so I's gonna do dat. In da meantime, you all shut up unless it's a zoggin' great kweschun yer askin'!
So, back when I wuz jus' a Yoof, nuffin' much 'appened, an' nuffin' reely 'appened before dat eever- I SED SHADDAP UNLESS YER ASKIN' A GREAT KWESCHUN, YA GITZ! Dis is important ta establish! Basik'ly, I wuz doin' da same krumpin' and that wot all Orks do, but even-cher-lee I figgered out dat I wuz reely good wiv Orky teknollergy, an' became a Mekboy, an' I wuz proper pleezed wiv dat.
Now, da fing about Mekz is dat dey don' always fink in to-tully Orky ways - dat iz ta say, dey ain't direkt-lee Orky, but even-cher-lee get round ta bein' Orky, right? So I's workin' on dis Snazzgun fer one ov da Flash Gitz at da time, right, an' it occurs ta me dat ak-cher-lee, iv I 'ad a nice gun like dat, I could krump 'umies an' dat from far away, so's dat dey don't krump me first, right? 's no fun iv ya get krumped by some lukky shot ta yer kray-nee-um, izzit? So wen da Nob came back askin' fer his new weppen, I pulled it out and dakka'd 'im in da face with it! BWA HA HAA ha ha ha haaa, da look on 'is face... I mean, e' didn' 'ave one, 'coz 'is face wuz gone, but if he 'ad a face... haaa!
Okay, okay, settle down lads. So I's gots me a brand new Snazzgun, loadsa barrels so it's extra-shooty. An' I decides, 'coz I can now, dat I'm gonna start bashin 'sum gitz ta get more teef! So I goes out, start whackin' Orks wiv the gun ta take dere teef, an' shootin' off da legz ov any Nobz dat try ta stop me, 'coz dey all try ta git up close ta krump me. An' over time, as I keep improvin' my Snazzgun, I's noticing dat I'm startin' ta get bigger an' bigger, an' even-cher-lee, I's ended up as a full-blown Nob myself! Dat's a Big Mek ta you gitz, but dere a type a Nob, so shaddap. 'Course, I's also a Flash Git, since now I 'ave all da teef from the gits I bashed as well as da teef dat were given ta me ta do Mekky fings, which I woz doin' between bashin' gits fer teef. An' I's got real gitty about it, wiv all da swagger an' dat I's throwin' about, an' even renamin' myself ta show off loadsa types a dakka - yanno, "GOW GOW, glakk glakk glakk, BAAAANG, dakkadakkadakkadakkadakkadakka", right?- an' dis starts annoyin' sum fellow Mekz an' Big Mekz an' that, 'coz dat's wot Flash Gitz do.
Now, at sum point, a real git fort it woold be clever ta snatch my Snazzgun whilst I's walkin' round wiv it, an' den break it in 'alf in front a me! 'Oo even does dat?! Ob-vee-us-lee, I woz propa mad, an' wot dat git forgot is dat I still 'ad my Choppa! An' I whack his head in 'alf wiv it, and den start goin' on a right gitty rampage ov krumpin' uvver gitz, lef', righ', fron', bakk, but even-cher-lee, all a dat stops 'coz ov ev-ree-fink goin' dark fer me. Next fing I know, I's on my own on sum plannit wiv jun-gol trees growin' outta sand! Dere's like a 'umie viddie-ya screen in front a me, an' ob-vee-us-lee I's still a bit woozy from da annas-fettik, so I pikkit up an' press da button like a Snotlin' might do, an' dis git Krombasha shows up, talkin' about 'ow I's gone an' disres-pek-tid da name a Mekz ev-ree-where, an' so I's been left behind like da git I am. 'e woz right, an' I'm not a Flash Git now, but 'e's still a git fer doin' dat, an' I's gonna krump 'im an' ev-ree uvva Mek in da tribe e's wiv if I eva see 'is sorry gob again!
'Course, I got kort up in me own anger at 'im, so's I don't realise dat 'e's men-chunned a final ser-prize until it's too late, an' at dat moment, da 'ole fing blows up an' takes my arm off! An' dere's no way any Painboy iz gonna put it back on, it iz MULCHED. So's I eat it, 'coz I's gonna need da sus-tin-ants, an' den I sit an' fink fer a while. An' it okkurs ta me dat even wiv an arm missin', dere iz no way dat I would be dere alive if dere wuz no reazun ta be dere, an' so I's starts ta think Gork, or maybe Mork, wants me ta go on a vizzyun kwest ta find my troo self or summat!
Orright, orright, calm down... I SED CALM DOWN YA GROTZ! Wot, a man a si-ents can't also 'ave a vizzyun kwest?! Iz dat right? Dat's wot I fort. So's I go in ta dis sand jun-gol. Dere's not much ta eat, but dere's enuff little cree-churz an' leefs an' dat ta servive on wivvout bein' 'ungry, right? An' as I go in more, I starts 'avin' dem vizzyunz, 'bout finks like monsters an' that, but it's not like I woz left wivvout a choppa, 'coz no Ork iz gonna be DAT much of a git, so's I jus' chop 'em up as I goes, all fancy-like 'coz a the cullerz goin' ev-ree-where an' that. I dunno how long dat's goin' on fer, but even-cher-lee, I's gone and found myself inna cave, made a rocks an' that, even in dat sand jun-gol. An' as I go in more, da vizzyuns start fadin', an' I ree-lize dat I's finkin' diff'rent-lee ta how I woz before, but I's not sure 'xact-lee how yet. I tries ta figger dat out fer a bit, but stops when I discovers wot is pretty much... da muvverload.
Wot do I means by dat? Only da biggest pile a loot a Mekboy could ever want! Dere wuz fyool ta power stuff, a lotta komp-likk-ated ser-kit-ree ta make fings werk betta, tons a solid mettol- more dan enuff fer me ta make some rokkitships ta get off da plannit, an' prob-lee enuff ta get me a bionik re-plays-ment fer my missin' arm... an' GOLD! So much zoggin' gold! 'nuff ta bring a tear ta my eye! Yeah, dat's right, lad, us Bad Moons know wot's up! An' da rest a you can shut yer gobs about dat, it's well shiny! Amazin' stuff. Anywayz, I's gots da loot I need ta get out ov dere, an' so I's starts buildin' me a new arm, wiv a Power Klaw on da end... den it okkurs ta me dat if I jus' make a normal power klaw, den it's not gonna 'ave da dekks-territy ta put summa da more delli-kit bits a teknollergy togetha, so's derefore, I needs ta make da blades 'ave some joints, like wot 'ands 'ave, so I does dat, an' it works like a charm.
Dat, as I would even-cher-lee figger out, woz da first a my pragmattik forts! Eh, wozzat? Oh, no, yeah, I deffinit-lee meant da sorta fort dat you 'ide inside an' shoot da enemies from. NO, YA GIT! Da sorta fort wot goes froo yer 'ead unless ya've 'ad a Squig brain transplant, which you clearly 'ave! An' in dis case, my forts were more pragmattik dan most Orks, coz ov da vizzyun kwest, so's I's woz finkin' 'bout wot I woz gonna do 'fore I does it, see? Still am, at that. Dat's also why I tested da ferst few rokkits I made, ta make sure dey wouldn't blow up when dey start goin' up, 'coz 'splodey rokkits are only nice when yer not inside 'em. Deffinit-lee 'elped when some Snots and Grots started showin' up, at that. Dey 'elped wiv da buildin' later on, an' made great test pilots. Hurr hurr hurr.
Well, I 'ven-cher-lee got a rokkit goin' dat didn't blow up first- I ak-cher-lee 'ad ta make it a bit more powerful dan I ferst fort, 'coz uvverwize I'd 'ave 'ad ta leave all da gold behind, right? Not dat much stronger, though, 'coz when I got it werkin', I crammed as much a da gold an' uvva loot in as I could, inkludin' all over da outside, with a big load a gold on da top, reel pointy-like, an' ya know 'ow yellow makes ev-ree-fin' more likely ta 'splode? I woz finkin' it might do dat ta me, but I 'ad a stroke a gee-nee-us, 'coz of my pragmattik forts, an' put sum more ser-kit-ree innit ta redirect the 'splodeyness to da engine an' make it even faster! An' den I got in, an' I turned it on, an' WHAM, OFFITGOES, INTA SPACE! I figgered out why dere's so many Speed Freeks dat day... an' I fink I saw sum Orks down on da plannit I left. I wonders iv dey's gotten use outta da loot I 'ad ta leeve be'ind.
An' den, after a bit ov time, my rokkit crashed inta da ship we's on now. Ob-vee-us-lee, it woz a Freeboota kroo, an' I woz ak-sep-tid on as a member, 'coz dey's always needin' more Mekboyz an' Big Meks. An' dat is my 'ole story, lads! Any kweschuns? Yeah, you... w- NO, I DON'T MEAN BLEEDIN' 'IDEY FORTS, I MEAN 'EAD FORTS! YOU WANNA GO, YA ZOGGIN' GROT, DEN LET'S ZOGGIN' GO! WAAAAAAAAGH!
Skills: As a Mekaniak, Gowglakk is obviously very skilled with Ork technology, being able to build a great deal of the devices and bioniks and whatnot that he puts his mind to. Indeed, the rate at which he produces new ideas in his head is surprisingly high even for a Mekboy, often great enough that he forgets a lot of the ideas he has after just the initial consideration, though his most important ideas are always crudely sketched to make sure he can come back to them. Additionally, thanks to his nature as a Bad Moon, he's well aware of the value of the items he builds, and is more than capable of selling them off for far more teef than that to his less aware clients, as well as to haggle the price of the equipment and raw materials he buys downward when acquiring them from other vendors, typically backed up by his extreme bulk.
His most important skill is arguably his exceptional brutal kunnin', i.e. his "pragmattik forts", but heavily linked to that is his tendency to be far more cautious than an Ork has any right to be. For instance, he finds himself taking a little while longer to create some bits of tech than most Mekboyz would, since "dey need ta be tested ta make sure dey works prop'ly, see?" Of course, what he generally means by that is "get sum Grot or Snotlin' ta use it a few times first ta make sure it won't blow up", since the lesser Greenskins are substantially more disposable than any Ork, and it pays to have a good reputation for reliable gear.
Finally, though he's not necessarily had much opportunity to exercise it since his acceptance into his new tribe of Freebootaz, his nature as a Big Mek means lesser Mekboyz often flock to him when given the chance, and he's more than capable of commanding them to do his bidding where appropriate.
Equipment: As stated above, his armament typically includes his Kustom Power Klaw as part of his bionik right arm, as well as some sort of large shooty weapon, generally either a heavily-tested Shokk Attack Gun or a similarly-heavily-tested Tellyport Blasta, though he'll settle for a sufficiently-snazzy Kustom Mega-Blasta or Deffgun if he absolutely must. Closer-range equipment includes a big spanna and plenty of other Mek tools and raw materials to help him build things with, including a fair amount of what he calls "komp-likk-ated ser-kit-ree" in the form of massed wire bundles, to help improve whatever he builds and repairs and make it less likely to malfunction on him or whoever else is using it, as well as a Big Choppa for maximum damage up-close, though the spanna will also suffice in a pinch. Also stated above is his preference for the best protection available - 'Eavy Karapace Armour bolted in various places to his body, including to his skull, as well as an Iron Gob with an improvement in the works. He's even building up a suit of Mega Armour for the purposes of warfare, though he's not satisfied yet with how fast it goes, and hasn't had much success so far in making it go as fast as or faster than he'd normally like. "Maybe iv I paint da legz red..."
Miscellaneous: Nothin', yet.
Species: Ork
'Rank'/Type: Big Mek, thus at roughly the same level as a Nob. Also a Flash Git some time ago, but now less obsessed with guns than he was.
Age: 57
Klan: Bad Moons
Appearance: As with any Nob-level Ork, Gowglakk is incredibly large - about eight and a half feet tall, thus a foot or more taller than any mere Boy and even some other Nobz, on top of being significantly wider and more than twice as heavy as the former, mostly for sheer weight of packed muscle. His skin is a nice Orky shade of dark green, his left eye possesses a lovely blood red hue, and his gob is chock-full of teef with a great yellow colour on them, plenty of which are gold-plated.
More notable, however, are the large number of bioniks attached to his body, to the extent that other Orks might wonder why he hasn't degraded into a Madboy yet. Most notably, a chunky mechanical arm covered in large slabs of gold is attached to his right shoulder, ending in a four-bladed Power Klaw with joints on each "finger" akin to those in a normal hand, as well as the capacity to rotate those blades to any angle both on their own axis and around a circular slider on the weapon, apparently for "more dekks-territy" when working on technology, but with the incidental capacity to chop and stab in whatever direction Gowglakk likes with each blade, for instance in the manner of an Astartes Lightning Claw, or a power blender.
As well as this, his head has black-painted metal plates bolted over the top and back, a pattern replicated in the form of 'Eavy Karapace Armour bolted across much of the rest of his body, to make his most important bits ded 'ard (though the brown Squig leather clothing underneath is inexplicably able to be removed regardless), and his right eye has been replaced with a bionic eye that picks out targets for long-distance krumping with whatever shooty weapon he's using at the moment. A myriad of lesser bioniks are prevalent in various areas across the rest of his body, though few of these have had any significance as of yet. Lastly, a blue-painted Iron Gob is attached to his face, just to make sure all the dangerous bullets miss his head, though he has plans for an even more Orky type of 'ead protection in the works.
Personality: Gowglakk is, of course, a Mekboy at heart, and has the mindset to prove it - when he's not bashing the gitz weaker than himself, he's thinking about his next project, be it a simple shoota for one of the Boyz, or the burgeoning suit of Mega Armour he's been cooking up for a couple of years now. "'s a big projekt," he says about it when asked, "I's gots ta test everyfink ta make sure it werks properly." And that, right there, is what makes him so strange - unlike the vast majority of Orks, Gowglakk has acquired a somewhat absurd amount of what he calls "pragmattik forts". That is to say, he thinks like a Blood Axe despite being a Bad Moon, and then to a degree that quite a few Blood Axes never achieve. He's a big proponent of tactics and strategies that most Orks see as highly un-Orky, even downright bizarre, things like "dodgin' da enemy's attakks so dey don't krump ya" and "attackin' da enemy from a 'idin' place so's dey don't see ya attackin' dem 'til it's too late"; indeed, a certain lesser degree of this kind of thinking was what led him to become a Flash Git in the first place, though he now sees that sort of attachment to flair and weaponry as "distraktin' from da reel biznis ov buildin' things ta krump gits wiv". Of course, he still retains a reasonable amount of Orkiness, being just as up for a scrap as any other Ork, and holds a bit of a soft spot for his personal equipment as a holdover from his days as a Flash Git, even if he claims to be totally past it.
History: Right, lads! Fer sum reason, ya all wanted me ta talk about wot I's done in da past, an' I's gots da time ta talk, so I's gonna do dat. In da meantime, you all shut up unless it's a zoggin' great kweschun yer askin'!
So, back when I wuz jus' a Yoof, nuffin' much 'appened, an' nuffin' reely 'appened before dat eever- I SED SHADDAP UNLESS YER ASKIN' A GREAT KWESCHUN, YA GITZ! Dis is important ta establish! Basik'ly, I wuz doin' da same krumpin' and that wot all Orks do, but even-cher-lee I figgered out dat I wuz reely good wiv Orky teknollergy, an' became a Mekboy, an' I wuz proper pleezed wiv dat.
Now, da fing about Mekz is dat dey don' always fink in to-tully Orky ways - dat iz ta say, dey ain't direkt-lee Orky, but even-cher-lee get round ta bein' Orky, right? So I's workin' on dis Snazzgun fer one ov da Flash Gitz at da time, right, an' it occurs ta me dat ak-cher-lee, iv I 'ad a nice gun like dat, I could krump 'umies an' dat from far away, so's dat dey don't krump me first, right? 's no fun iv ya get krumped by some lukky shot ta yer kray-nee-um, izzit? So wen da Nob came back askin' fer his new weppen, I pulled it out and dakka'd 'im in da face with it! BWA HA HAA ha ha ha haaa, da look on 'is face... I mean, e' didn' 'ave one, 'coz 'is face wuz gone, but if he 'ad a face... haaa!
Okay, okay, settle down lads. So I's gots me a brand new Snazzgun, loadsa barrels so it's extra-shooty. An' I decides, 'coz I can now, dat I'm gonna start bashin 'sum gitz ta get more teef! So I goes out, start whackin' Orks wiv the gun ta take dere teef, an' shootin' off da legz ov any Nobz dat try ta stop me, 'coz dey all try ta git up close ta krump me. An' over time, as I keep improvin' my Snazzgun, I's noticing dat I'm startin' ta get bigger an' bigger, an' even-cher-lee, I's ended up as a full-blown Nob myself! Dat's a Big Mek ta you gitz, but dere a type a Nob, so shaddap. 'Course, I's also a Flash Git, since now I 'ave all da teef from the gits I bashed as well as da teef dat were given ta me ta do Mekky fings, which I woz doin' between bashin' gits fer teef. An' I's got real gitty about it, wiv all da swagger an' dat I's throwin' about, an' even renamin' myself ta show off loadsa types a dakka - yanno, "GOW GOW, glakk glakk glakk, BAAAANG, dakkadakkadakkadakkadakkadakka", right?- an' dis starts annoyin' sum fellow Mekz an' Big Mekz an' that, 'coz dat's wot Flash Gitz do.
Now, at sum point, a real git fort it woold be clever ta snatch my Snazzgun whilst I's walkin' round wiv it, an' den break it in 'alf in front a me! 'Oo even does dat?! Ob-vee-us-lee, I woz propa mad, an' wot dat git forgot is dat I still 'ad my Choppa! An' I whack his head in 'alf wiv it, and den start goin' on a right gitty rampage ov krumpin' uvver gitz, lef', righ', fron', bakk, but even-cher-lee, all a dat stops 'coz ov ev-ree-fink goin' dark fer me. Next fing I know, I's on my own on sum plannit wiv jun-gol trees growin' outta sand! Dere's like a 'umie viddie-ya screen in front a me, an' ob-vee-us-lee I's still a bit woozy from da annas-fettik, so I pikkit up an' press da button like a Snotlin' might do, an' dis git Krombasha shows up, talkin' about 'ow I's gone an' disres-pek-tid da name a Mekz ev-ree-where, an' so I's been left behind like da git I am. 'e woz right, an' I'm not a Flash Git now, but 'e's still a git fer doin' dat, an' I's gonna krump 'im an' ev-ree uvva Mek in da tribe e's wiv if I eva see 'is sorry gob again!
'Course, I got kort up in me own anger at 'im, so's I don't realise dat 'e's men-chunned a final ser-prize until it's too late, an' at dat moment, da 'ole fing blows up an' takes my arm off! An' dere's no way any Painboy iz gonna put it back on, it iz MULCHED. So's I eat it, 'coz I's gonna need da sus-tin-ants, an' den I sit an' fink fer a while. An' it okkurs ta me dat even wiv an arm missin', dere iz no way dat I would be dere alive if dere wuz no reazun ta be dere, an' so I's starts ta think Gork, or maybe Mork, wants me ta go on a vizzyun kwest ta find my troo self or summat!
Orright, orright, calm down... I SED CALM DOWN YA GROTZ! Wot, a man a si-ents can't also 'ave a vizzyun kwest?! Iz dat right? Dat's wot I fort. So's I go in ta dis sand jun-gol. Dere's not much ta eat, but dere's enuff little cree-churz an' leefs an' dat ta servive on wivvout bein' 'ungry, right? An' as I go in more, I starts 'avin' dem vizzyunz, 'bout finks like monsters an' that, but it's not like I woz left wivvout a choppa, 'coz no Ork iz gonna be DAT much of a git, so's I jus' chop 'em up as I goes, all fancy-like 'coz a the cullerz goin' ev-ree-where an' that. I dunno how long dat's goin' on fer, but even-cher-lee, I's gone and found myself inna cave, made a rocks an' that, even in dat sand jun-gol. An' as I go in more, da vizzyuns start fadin', an' I ree-lize dat I's finkin' diff'rent-lee ta how I woz before, but I's not sure 'xact-lee how yet. I tries ta figger dat out fer a bit, but stops when I discovers wot is pretty much... da muvverload.
Wot do I means by dat? Only da biggest pile a loot a Mekboy could ever want! Dere wuz fyool ta power stuff, a lotta komp-likk-ated ser-kit-ree ta make fings werk betta, tons a solid mettol- more dan enuff fer me ta make some rokkitships ta get off da plannit, an' prob-lee enuff ta get me a bionik re-plays-ment fer my missin' arm... an' GOLD! So much zoggin' gold! 'nuff ta bring a tear ta my eye! Yeah, dat's right, lad, us Bad Moons know wot's up! An' da rest a you can shut yer gobs about dat, it's well shiny! Amazin' stuff. Anywayz, I's gots da loot I need ta get out ov dere, an' so I's starts buildin' me a new arm, wiv a Power Klaw on da end... den it okkurs ta me dat if I jus' make a normal power klaw, den it's not gonna 'ave da dekks-territy ta put summa da more delli-kit bits a teknollergy togetha, so's derefore, I needs ta make da blades 'ave some joints, like wot 'ands 'ave, so I does dat, an' it works like a charm.
Dat, as I would even-cher-lee figger out, woz da first a my pragmattik forts! Eh, wozzat? Oh, no, yeah, I deffinit-lee meant da sorta fort dat you 'ide inside an' shoot da enemies from. NO, YA GIT! Da sorta fort wot goes froo yer 'ead unless ya've 'ad a Squig brain transplant, which you clearly 'ave! An' in dis case, my forts were more pragmattik dan most Orks, coz ov da vizzyun kwest, so's I's woz finkin' 'bout wot I woz gonna do 'fore I does it, see? Still am, at that. Dat's also why I tested da ferst few rokkits I made, ta make sure dey wouldn't blow up when dey start goin' up, 'coz 'splodey rokkits are only nice when yer not inside 'em. Deffinit-lee 'elped when some Snots and Grots started showin' up, at that. Dey 'elped wiv da buildin' later on, an' made great test pilots. Hurr hurr hurr.
Well, I 'ven-cher-lee got a rokkit goin' dat didn't blow up first- I ak-cher-lee 'ad ta make it a bit more powerful dan I ferst fort, 'coz uvverwize I'd 'ave 'ad ta leave all da gold behind, right? Not dat much stronger, though, 'coz when I got it werkin', I crammed as much a da gold an' uvva loot in as I could, inkludin' all over da outside, with a big load a gold on da top, reel pointy-like, an' ya know 'ow yellow makes ev-ree-fin' more likely ta 'splode? I woz finkin' it might do dat ta me, but I 'ad a stroke a gee-nee-us, 'coz of my pragmattik forts, an' put sum more ser-kit-ree innit ta redirect the 'splodeyness to da engine an' make it even faster! An' den I got in, an' I turned it on, an' WHAM, OFFITGOES, INTA SPACE! I figgered out why dere's so many Speed Freeks dat day... an' I fink I saw sum Orks down on da plannit I left. I wonders iv dey's gotten use outta da loot I 'ad ta leeve be'ind.
An' den, after a bit ov time, my rokkit crashed inta da ship we's on now. Ob-vee-us-lee, it woz a Freeboota kroo, an' I woz ak-sep-tid on as a member, 'coz dey's always needin' more Mekboyz an' Big Meks. An' dat is my 'ole story, lads! Any kweschuns? Yeah, you... w- NO, I DON'T MEAN BLEEDIN' 'IDEY FORTS, I MEAN 'EAD FORTS! YOU WANNA GO, YA ZOGGIN' GROT, DEN LET'S ZOGGIN' GO! WAAAAAAAAGH!
Skills: As a Mekaniak, Gowglakk is obviously very skilled with Ork technology, being able to build a great deal of the devices and bioniks and whatnot that he puts his mind to. Indeed, the rate at which he produces new ideas in his head is surprisingly high even for a Mekboy, often great enough that he forgets a lot of the ideas he has after just the initial consideration, though his most important ideas are always crudely sketched to make sure he can come back to them. Additionally, thanks to his nature as a Bad Moon, he's well aware of the value of the items he builds, and is more than capable of selling them off for far more teef than that to his less aware clients, as well as to haggle the price of the equipment and raw materials he buys downward when acquiring them from other vendors, typically backed up by his extreme bulk.
His most important skill is arguably his exceptional brutal kunnin', i.e. his "pragmattik forts", but heavily linked to that is his tendency to be far more cautious than an Ork has any right to be. For instance, he finds himself taking a little while longer to create some bits of tech than most Mekboyz would, since "dey need ta be tested ta make sure dey works prop'ly, see?" Of course, what he generally means by that is "get sum Grot or Snotlin' ta use it a few times first ta make sure it won't blow up", since the lesser Greenskins are substantially more disposable than any Ork, and it pays to have a good reputation for reliable gear.
Finally, though he's not necessarily had much opportunity to exercise it since his acceptance into his new tribe of Freebootaz, his nature as a Big Mek means lesser Mekboyz often flock to him when given the chance, and he's more than capable of commanding them to do his bidding where appropriate.
Equipment: As stated above, his armament typically includes his Kustom Power Klaw as part of his bionik right arm, as well as some sort of large shooty weapon, generally either a heavily-tested Shokk Attack Gun or a similarly-heavily-tested Tellyport Blasta, though he'll settle for a sufficiently-snazzy Kustom Mega-Blasta or Deffgun if he absolutely must. Closer-range equipment includes a big spanna and plenty of other Mek tools and raw materials to help him build things with, including a fair amount of what he calls "komp-likk-ated ser-kit-ree" in the form of massed wire bundles, to help improve whatever he builds and repairs and make it less likely to malfunction on him or whoever else is using it, as well as a Big Choppa for maximum damage up-close, though the spanna will also suffice in a pinch. Also stated above is his preference for the best protection available - 'Eavy Karapace Armour bolted in various places to his body, including to his skull, as well as an Iron Gob with an improvement in the works. He's even building up a suit of Mega Armour for the purposes of warfare, though he's not satisfied yet with how fast it goes, and hasn't had much success so far in making it go as fast as or faster than he'd normally like. "Maybe iv I paint da legz red..."
Miscellaneous: Nothin', yet.
1x Laugh
