*POSITIVE* LGBT++ hangout, anybody? *CIS/STRAIGHT WELCOME TOO* :D

[Wade Wilson]

[@Everyone here including me]

@HalfOfLancelot

u called?

[megatrash]

that's our bat signal

[AlteredTundra]

[@Everyone here including me]

@HalfOfLancelot

Accurate.

Also, white bisexual male up in this bitch. Am I cool yet?

[arockysmith]

Hey, so safe haven right? Don't really expect a response, but I've been struggling the last few days as it's recently come to my attention that I've never fully accepted the sexuality that I am. I've always been thinking "hey I'm straight. I'm a girl, so liking guys is what I'm supposed to do." I do have a gay brother and I never once thought he was wrong for it, but I always had my mom in my ear saying how I was her last chance for grandkids...and so like it's been drilled into me that I need to be straight.

So here I am dating guys, finding girls attractive in the same ways I would the counterpart male. Never really entertained the idea of being bisexual in anyway. Up until recently I was pretty content just saying gender doesn't matter and whoever I loved then I loved. Well a couple days ago I've decided that I am in fact bisexual and I really thought I was okay with the whole conclusion, not telling anyone, but I've found I'm not and I guess I needed to just let people know that this is me. I'm like really terrified of the whole thing even though it's more accepted. I've always heard how bi people aren't real you're either straight or gay and it's like no...I've only told two people and I felt like I was okay with that, but I find myself getting panic attacks over the whole realization and this was noted as a positive space.

Sorry for the long rant, I've had a really big struggle even writing this and now you can go on about your day.

[megatrash]

@arockysmith Hey! I went through the same thing. I first started noticing my attraction to girls at a very young age (11/12) but I didn't really accept it until my first few encounters with other girls. Even then, I played it up to partying/just having fun to my friends so that I wouldn't have to deal with it. Sooner or later, I accepted the fact that I was attracted to both men and women, but went through a lot of shit with ex-boyfriends not approving, friends thinking that I'd all of a sudden be attracted to them, etc. so I stopped talking about it.

Fast forward to now at age 23, I'm just now starting to come out to select people. I haven't talked to my parents about it or anyone in my family, but quite a few friends/acquaintances know. Yes, it's more accepted now than ever to be something other than straight, and that's awesome, but bisexual people still aren't discussed as much or have been as normalized as gays and lesbians. Most of the time when I tell people [men specifically] that I like both sexes I hear the following: "Wow, that's hot." "But have you been with a girl before?" (then when I say yes, they ask how many times.) "You're young. It's just a phase." All SUPER annoying.

It's discouraging sometimes, but you have to remember that what you feel is valid. Whether you like guys 75% and girls 25%, if you've never been with another woman before, or if you're still not 100% sure. And while bisexuality needs all the representation it can get, you don't have to come out with anyone you're not super comfortable telling. It's no one's business but yours at the end of the day.

I know it's a scary thing, so if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm totally here! :---) I have a lesbian sister too, so I was supposed to carry on the blood line as well lmao.

[arockysmith]

@megatrash I really appreciate your words. I told two of my best friends, one of them being lesbian who has been with guys in the past so she's a little comforting, but she right away wants me to shout it to the world and while I've no problem doing that per say I just get scared because it's like when I tell people I'm spanish instead of white. The whole shift in them changes. It's all assumed I'm full of shit because I look extremely white, but I'm Puerto Rican, Mexican and Spaniard. When I was in school it was very bad with racism so I felt that shift when people would find out I wasn't "one of them" and it's like I know that shift is going happen. I've tried talk to my mom a little bit by saying gender doesn't matter to me, but I never came out and said I'm bisexual.

I also don't want her thinking it's me being confused since I just had a big surgery on my brain. I'm all over the place, I'm sorry. But thank you for your words, they really helped take some of the edge off the whole thing.

[megatrash]

Please don't be sorry! The only ones who say people's sexuality is no big deal are the one's who never had to question it :P

I won't lie to you and say people will definitely not think of you differently, but I learned that I don't want those kinds of friends anyway!

It's all easier said than done, of course, but keep doing some soul searching and figure out what would be best for you! <3

[arockysmith]

@megatrash

[Cyndyr]

I feel the same way as you, @arockysmith. I'm a bisexual lady, but I'm almost afraid to identify. Not because of coming out as I've always had an extremely supportive family, but because I'm afraid that people will think that I'm not "one of them". That's why I refuse to identify with any sexuality and have decided that I'll bang who I want to bang and love who I want to love. There's nothing wrong with not shouting it to the world and it's totally okay to feel a little bit intimidated by that revelation.

Ease into it at your own pace and just give a shout if you to vent or anything. I'm not the greatest with advice, but something that you said in your first post on the subject resonated with me. I'd be more than glad to listen, at least.

[Aqua]

off-topic to what everyone else is talking about currently. but I identify as pansexual and am absolutely HORRIFIED to even say anything about it because most of the time I don't feel valid as people don't believe in trans* people. sorry for rambling I just wanted to be able to tell someone, even if it's strangers on the internet.

[arockysmith]

@Cynder@Neurovoid

group hug you guys

[Aqua]

I appreciate it <3 @arockysmith

[Rica]

I've had my fair share of confusing identity issues over the years and I'm just gonna say

Everyone is valid and loved

You guys are great and strong and courageous

[arockysmith]

@Neurovoid Even though I'm new to all this I'm here to explore the whole pansexual bisexual world with you. Things always go better when there's people to lean on for support.

[Aqua]

@Neurovoid Even though I'm new to all this I'm here to explore the whole pansexual bisexual world with you. Things always go better when there's people to lean on for support.

@arockysmith

thank you so much. I only recently started to identify as pan, like within the year and I'm not out to many people but this really does help. Thank you <33

[arockysmith]

<Snipped quote by arockysmith>

thank you so much. I only recently started to identify as pan, like within the year and I'm not out to many people but this really does help. Thank you <33

@Neurovoid

I just started to identify about 2 weeks ago after taking about 3 months of soul searching to make sure before I slapped myself as bi. I've always had a feeling back in high school around 15, but I never entertained the idea because I was supposed to carry on the bloodline. Then I started to really think about it and realized it fit me like a glove.

[Aqua]

@arockysmith

I just really don't care about the gender of my partner. I can work with whatever parts you have lmao.

[arockysmith]

@Neurovoid I've got the notion that if you make me feel something and we have that spark I'm not going to turn you away. If our souls connect then you're who I want kind of thing.

[Aqua]

@arockysmith

You're very sweet.

[Wade Wilson]

I feel the same way as you, @arockysmith. I'm a bisexual lady, but I'm almost afraid to identify. Not because of coming out as I've always had an extremely supportive family, but because I'm afraid that people will think that I'm not "one of them". That's why I refuse to identify with any sexuality and have decided that I'll bang who I want to bang and love who I want to love. There's nothing wrong with not shouting it to the world and it's totally okay to feel a little bit intimidated by that revelation.

Ease into it at your own pace and just give a shout if you to vent or anything. I'm not the greatest with advice, but something that you said in your first post on the subject resonated with me. I'd be more than glad to listen, at least.

@Cynder

excuse me your awesomest friend is bisexual
show your true colours to the world like a majestic butterfly

in all seriousness (kinda), @arockysmith, if anyone ever puts you down for being bisexual its because they're jealous of you having the choice of two genders, instead of one. plus being bisexual just makes you awesome, it's a known fact because it did it to me
plus there's an entire fandom full of sexually confused people (*cough* halsey fandom *cough*) who are pretty damn accepting <3
(i struggle at this whole reassurance thing because humour is basically the only thing i can do but i hope it helped and i hope you know i really am a human being that has sympathetic feelings)