Spam Pontification

[Little Bill]

"Spam is a scene of constant chaos.
The winner will be the one who controls that chaos,
both his own and the enemy's."

- Socrates

[Joegreenbeen]

"If Spam dies,
Let Spam die,
But do not let the Guild die"

- Ghengis Khan

[Vilageidiotx]

"When you arise in the morning,
think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive;
to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to shitpost."

- Marcus Aurelius

[ClocktowerEchos]

"Spam has its beauty, but not everyone sees it."

- Confucius

[Little Bill]

"We are born to spam, we live to spam, and we will die to spam still more."

- Saint Joseph

[Vilageidiotx]

“And if all the trees on earth were pens and the ocean [were ink], with seven
oceans behind it to add to its [supply], yet would not the posts in Spam be
exhausted [in the writing]: for Spam is Exalted in Power, full of Wisdom.”

- Mohamed

[ClocktowerEchos]

"Spam has a Quality of its own."

- Stalin

[Dinh AaronMk]

"From being a funposting myth, spam has become an awful reality."
-Jesus

[Vilageidiotx]

"Spam is constant proof that Mahz loves us and loves to see us happy."
-Ben Franklin

[Little Bill]

"There is nothing outside of Spam
that can ever enable you to get better,
stronger, richer, quicker, or smarter.
Everything is within Spam.
Seek nothing outside of Spam."

-Musashi Miyamoto

[Antarctic Termite]

[Vilageidiotx]

"There are only two mistakes one can
make along the road to truth;
not going all the way,
and not purchasing UK furniture."

- Buddha

[Keyguyperson]

Give a man a shitpost, and you occupy him for a second.
Teach a man to shitpost, and you occupy him for a lifetime.

-Nobody actually knows where the hell this one comes from

[Larfleeze]

"We are born of the Spam, made men by the Spam, undone by the Spam.
Our eyes are yet to open.
Fear the Old Spam."

- Master Willem

[ClocktowerEchos]

"SPAM FOR THE SPAM GOD!
SHIT FOR THE SHITPOSTS!"
- Khorne the Paraplegic Sociopath or one of his chucklefuck followers

[Witch Cat]

I thought the title said "pony-fication" and was really confused for a second. So have a pony.

[Little Bill]

"If a man shall shitpost in another man's thread, then they shall shitpost in his."

- Hammurabi

[Larfleeze]

"Yeeaw... Chip Da Ripper.
S-L-A-B!
This is-
Y'all already know who dis is.
This is exclusive right here! Street Stars Radio.
Yeah, uh, ayy.
Now baby, I'm the Ripperrrrrrr, your baby daddy's worst nightmare.
Catch me by de Claire! I'll be right there.
Niggas copy everything we say, Louie frames eyes lower than my 「G-P-A」
Ridin' and Swirvin', Kush I'm blown. Doors wide, my trump bump like Eddie Rollin.
I don't take hoes, I never tip the stripper.
I'm 「RICH BITCH」 but you can call me Cheap the Ripper.
Shell toes? YES! P.R.P.S.
There's a man ridin' a horse on top of my chest.
Polo fresh, I am 「Ze Mon」
I'll be slam dunkin' and Tanqueray shots with Lebron.
Told niggas keep it Carmello, okay? Rode past Dave's, told him hello and hey!
Me and Cash on something own on 23 hoes.
Back Windows say Mama Mel Bicho.
Skate Boarders grind, I grind too!
That's why you can catch me in DC shoes!
I quit the team, but believe I'm ballin'.
Want a verse? Put up a stack or quit callin'
30's on my Chevorlet, call me Supa Dupa.
Garage like Roots, I got more whips than 「Kunta」
Rivera sittin' on the Bulls best hoopa.
Y'all still ridin' 20's? Y'all some Oompa Lumpas...
Don't swang on niggas that got bad behavior, my 415's woke up the neighbors!
「INTERIOR」
「CROCODILE」
「ALLIGATOR」
「I DRIVE A CHEVROLET」
「MOVIE THE-ATER」"

- Charles Jawanzaa Worth

[Little Bill]

"They made many promises, but they only kept one.
They promised to make Spam worse, and they did."

- Sitting Bull

[Vilageidiotx]

"The best argument against Spam is a five-minute
conversation with @Dinh AaronMk."

- Winston Churchill