[IC] Bingo Fight- A Heroic Excursion

[clanjos]

"Gooooooood morning! It's a beautiful day on Oomuri Island, with clear blue skies and a calm breeze making it perfect beach weather. We're going to start your day with a traffic report to make sure you have time to plan your route to some classic rock today. No accidents today, but there's been an upswing in traffic due to the road work at the quarry off South Hill Road- looks like they're bringing new equipment to the excavation. We've got some of those endangered crabs moving across the beach near the Globotronics office on Saburo Drive, so the transit authority is offering alternate routes until the migration finish. For those of you already running late, I won't tell your boss if you use those little crabs as an excuse. Moving right into our classic rock block, it's Ratt with In Your Direction. Drive safe, folks, and crabs- keep on truckin'."

The early morning radio was one of the constants of life on Oomuri Island, a little blot of land in the middle of the Pacific ocean. Once upon a time, it had been a smaller island, uninhabited and unimportant amid the dozens of other islands nearby. Then Globotronics came around. Moving their HQ off-shore as part of a publicity stunt, they assured the general public that this wouldn't harm the island. So far, they were good to their word. Even the artificial land the Globotronics company sank into the ground hadn't messed up the local environment- beyond a few new coral formations settling in. The natural chunk of the island means parks, greenspace, lovely white-sand beaches, and natural habitats for animals. The piles of asphalt and slag Globotronics used to expand the island, however, mean high-density housing, industrial complexes, and warehouses abandoned from the rapid construction and subsequent layoffs. All in all, a unique island, overlooked by the massive Globotronics HQ building. A low crime rate, ethnically diverse population, and ready supply of jobs- whether for Globotronics or local small businesses- make Oomuri Island a wonderful place to live.
----
Less wonderful, in the opinion of environmentalists, is the quarry just off-center of the island. The source of much of the stone used to build the residential districts, this quarry seemed utterly unnecessary and out of place. Nonetheless, it did provide jobs and much-needed stone, and the pools were home to unusual fish. Today, though, two outlandish figures stood overlooking the edge of the pit. One, a suit of armor looking like a typical green garden snake, took up a small sheet of seemingly ordinary paper emblazoned with the word "COBRA" and placed it in a slot on his waist. His helmet flared out into a hood, the armor shifting to a dark purple, and he began advancing. The other, a monster made of ancient oil lamps and smoke, held up several cards marked with the word "CRIME" before throwing them into a pile of rubble. Five letters appeared in the air above some of the stones, before dropping into them. An unseen voice called out: "T-O-A-D-Y! FOLLOW THE LEADER! MEATSHIELD!" as a dozen papery-looking men climbed down the rubble before rushing at the man in the cobra costume, screeching.

Meanwhile, across the city, the back of your bingo cards begin glowing- and pulling towards the quarry.

[KOgaming]

Lance had been lounging in a cafe by the beach at the residential side of Oomuri Island. He had been awake for an hour. A coffee cup and a stale, half-eaten bagel were sitting on the table in front of him. Sitting on the window was a radio. The news was on.

Lance arrived on Oomuri Island about a week ago. He stayed at a cheap hotel. He had arrived by boat, sitting on his motorcycle a majority of the ride there, getting off only brood in the moonlight and to get a bite to eat; more of the former than the latter. It wasn't long after Lance arrived that a mysterious man handed him a set of bingo cards. Needless to say, he had contemplated throwing them away, though a voice in his head had kept him from doing so.

Mid-bite, before finishing his bagel, there was a vibrating sensation in his pants. For a moment, he could have sworn it was his phone. Reaching into his pocket, it was a bingo card, the back side glowing brightly. Lance put down his breakfast and headed in the direction it seemed the card was taking him.

---

After some walking, Lance arrived at quarry. Before him, strange men apparently made of paper. He stared curiously at the seen before him, then looked at the bingo card.

"Hm." a belt materialized at his waist. It had a silvery strap with a black wheel at the center filled with white bingo balls. At Lance's left side, there was a black, plastic box filled with what appeared to be bingo cards. Behind the bingo wheel was a slot just big enough to fit a single bingo card. Lance nodded. "Transform" he said, placing the bingo card into his belt.

"D-R-I-F-T! DARING! RIGHTEOUS! INTIMIDATING! FLASHING TRUTH! D-D-D-DRIFT!" a voice declared. Lance became enveloped in a bright, white light.

[Scrapula]

--Twelve hours earlier--

---

As a harsh breeze licked at Diego Salazar de Paulo's neck, Diego noticed something. The parking lot he had been deliberately loitering in was strangely empty. Even though it was barely even nine o'clock, absolutely no one felt the need to be at the Globotronics 24-Hour Convenience Store that the lot fed into.

Diego knew he had to meet someone in this lot. He knew that this man would be wearing a red baseball cap and denim jacket, and he knew that this man would be willing to pay a good amount of money for "herbal supplements". However, this man was showing no signs of showing. It was just Diego, his car, and the parking lot. And the enormous figure looming directly behind Diego, who clearly hadn't been there before.

Diego leaped back, screaming incoherently. When the figure showed no signs of following up on the very clear threat he presented, Diego spared himself a chance to examine the figure in depth.

He was wearing a red baseball cap and denim jacket. The cap was spattered with dark, wet, anonymous fluids, and the denim jacket had obvious rips along the back and left shoulder, but they were indeed what their client was supposed to be wearing. The pale skin, uncomfortably long arms, and black dress suit under the jacket, however, were not.

"Oh, uh--" Diego stammered. "You the, uh... the guy?"

There was a pregnant pause.

The figure grinned horribly. "You're a winner!" it remarked. "Congratulations!"
Diego's expression of fear and uncertainty turned to suspicion. "What? The fuck're you talking about?"

The figure lunged forward, pinning Diego's arms behind his back before he could react. It forced something into Diego's hands, and threw him backwards.

"Put the card in the belt, and shout 'TRANSFORM'!" the figure hooted, spiraling away. "Defeat your enemies, and get a wish!"

Diego scrambled to his feet with fire in his eyes. How dare this fucking pale hooligan make an idiot of him! With a twirling flourish, Diego dropped whatever the figure had given him and drew something from his pocket. The glint of a wicked-looking switchblade shone in the dim light provided by a nearby streetlamp, quietly masking that Diego had also drawn three other knives at the same time. Diego hurled a knife with deadly accuracy straight at the figure... and stared in slack-jawed disbelief as the figure caught it with one hand.

"Sorry, I'm not your enemy!" the figure spat. "All will be revealed in time! I will be seeing you soon. Very soon!" With a bright flash and a faint whiff of smoke, the figure disappeared. Diego was left alone with only himself, his thoughts, and the things the figure left behind.

Diego regarded the pair of objects the figure had given to him. One was a hideous plastic belt, with a conspicuous slot for something large and rectangular on one side. The other was a large and rectangular card, presumably to be put in the belt. The card itself was very obviously a Bingo card. Twenty-five boxes arrayed in rows and columns of five, five large bold letters above the top row, and eight boxes filled out with barely-readable text. Five of the boxes lined up in a single column.

The only course of action Diego could think of was to go back home, get a good night's sleep, and explain to his boss that a seven-foot-tall monster had brutally murdered the client, forced a novelty Bingo card and fanny pack into his hands, and promptly exploded. As Diego climbed into his car and drove off into the night, he only had one thought: Still better than working for Globotronics.

[MysteriousFrog]

It was a difficult thing to be given a real calling after so long without a purpose to draw from. Mathis, a man who had always believed in the supernatural had always believed it to be a thing that looked upon the world forever out of reach. For abilities, for the supernatural itself to touch not just the world, but him personally; it was an affirmation of his beliefs all along. Somewhere out there, beyond the understanding of these mortal men, a god stood, looking down with a grand plan.

Perhaps it was part of a grand plan, or perhaps mere coincidence. Mathis had no intention to stay on Oomuri Island for long. He had made a a stop on the for a day as a layover before planning to leave to other things. Needless to say a man in the charity business couldn't afford accommodation beyond a cheap hotel, and when he rose in the morning from the scratchy mattress he felt almost glad to be leaving. Yet somehow, it felt as though something was drawing him to remain here. Feeding him the feeling that there was something to be done. The question was what though... He had studied the card for an hour the night before, looking for some secret meaning behind what the mysterious figure had told him but he had learned little. With a sigh, he decided that if fate desired him, it would need to be more specific in its calls.

It was a basic meal Mathis ate, though for him that was normal. A piece of fish caught by one of the locals. A fish he had never seen before and couldn't pronounce the name of even after several tries. But the taste was good and that alone was an improvement on many of his mornings. It was while resting in a park, deciding whether he had simply been overthinking this fate business when a slight glare caught his eye. A blink later he was squinting at the card in his hands while it pulled slightly in his hands. God was intervening after all. Mathis was never one to question god's voice, even if he hadn't heard it before, or in truth felt any pull from a supernatural force. But there was indeed a first time for everything, and he fully intended to follow it here.

On a better day, in a better place Mathis may have used a motorcycle to travel to wherever the card was leading him. But he hadn't brought such a thing to the small island he hadn't planned to stay on. He was forced to use the more standard method of public transportation. A bus to the edge of the city and then walking the rest of the way.

Slightly out of breath, moving at less of a jog, more of a fast walk; he arrived just in time walking up a hill to see a brilliant white light float into the air. Reached the peak of the hill and looked down into the quarry just in time to see the results of Lance' call of power.

[Blight Bug]

The open-air shopping center Laelia Plaza was just starting to pick up its traffic this morning. More cars and other motorized vehicles were starting to fill up the parking lots while the more environmentally cautious or smug commuters were riding there on their bikes and locking them up around racks located outside of the first level stores. The shopping center was in a circular format designed around a central hub where Laelias grew with other greenery. There were two floors to the Laelia Plaza which were accessible by stairs and wheelchair ramps, the bottom floor was home to the majority of the dining options available and held more of the smaller boutiques, and the top floor which held the more prominent chain stores and arcades.

On the eastern side of the plaza there was a shop that was between two business that did not succeed.The rightward lot was being renovated for 'Tika's Treasures'. The leftward lot of 'Flavor Bonzai' was being disassembled though there was still a few bits of health violation tape that were clinging on the windows. Nestled between the failed lots was Graffiti Salon, which was flashing in a hard to read font in a rainbow of neon just above the door. Inside pop music was blaring while some technicians were working at their stations which were neatly organized with many skin care, nail care and other products. Another woman with bleached blond hair and an incredibly dark tan was at the front desk, blowing bubble-gum was watching the door occasionally in between looking at the register and more importantly reading a tabloid magazine. Sitting in a chair situated across from the backroom door was the only male in the building. The boy was reclined in his chair with his feet bare, with his socks, shoes and backpack on the right side of the chair. A girl with short blue dyed hair and ear-studs was buffing out the boy's toenails.

"Want the ushe, Hosh?" She said while working. "Just the tips? Still white?" Hoshu Hoshi pinched his lips together as he looked at his fingers. "Well..." Hoshi started up, "I was thinking of maybe going with that silvery polish, you know the one that has those really neat sparkles." He looked at his finger nails again, "Buuut, I was thinking that people generally don't see my toenails, and if they did it'd detract from my fingers. Mmmyeah, think I'll just stick with the usual." The technician nodded as she continued to work on his toenails.

All the while Hoshu's backpack began to squirm along the floor as it was being pulled by the novelty bingo card within. But Hoshu didn't notice that, as he was focused on the work of the technician. As she finished with her file she placed it down on a table before grabbing the pink foot-bath. Her head poked up as she glanced at Hoshi, "Hey Hosh, uh, your bag?"

"Huh?" Hoshi replied as he looked down towards his side to see that the backpack was slithering away! "OH JEEZ!" He hopped out of his chair as the backpack was fleeing towards the front of the store. Hoshi nervously began hopping up and down as he glanced down at his toenails.

"Oh right, not painted..." He slapped himself before grabbing his shoes and shoved them both under his right armpit and began to chase after it. As Hoshi was about to pass through the store a thought occurred to him, "Oh sorry! Sorryuhhavemygiftcard!" With his left hand he fished out a card from his gift pocket and flung it towards the receptionist. He ran through the plaza dodging various customers who were eying both him and his moving backpack with confusion, annoyance and even a bit of amusement.

"Sorry! Sorry! Gotta get my baaag!" He cried out while his backpack led him to the parking lot. The backpack moved onto Hoshi's moped and got stuck on the handles. "Whew glad it sto-" And that's when the moped began moving forward due to the backpack. "Oh jeeeez..." Fortunately it wasn't starting off that fast, and he managed to get onto his moped.

However the backpack was not subdued; and this bingo-card propelled vehicle was taking him on a ride to the rock quarry.

[Braigo]

Ye-jun opened the window to his apartment and leaned outside. Today seemed like it would be an alright day. The weather was nice and it wasn't too busy in town. Ye-jun let the peace slowly sink in. After all, this was his first day off in quite a while and it was perfect. "You know, I'll go to GameLand today and see what's on sale. Not really any point in getting a paycheck if you don't use it.". The feeling of complacent joy was interrupted by a loud crash in his kitchen. He ran over to see what it was.

On the ground, shoved against the wall was his bingo card. It had knocked off the plastic plates sitting on the counter when it was moving. "What the hell?" he murmured as he went to pick up the card "What kind of card did that weirdo give to me yesterday?". He let go of the card to watch it be pulled against the wall. Whatever was pulling it had a real grip on it. "Well, I guess GameLand can wait. I can't risk this card breaking anything else."

Ye-jun spent about an hour walking around the city, going any which way the bingo card was pulled at, the whole time wondering where this strange glowing card was trying to lead him. He found that the pulling was stronger when he got within view of the quarry.

[Scrapula]

The sun was shining, birds were singing, and a horrendous traffic jam had merrily beached itself on the roads leading to and around the quarry. For some reason, there were people all along the edge of the road, looking into the quarry with bated breath. Diego was not at all interested in the reason why, but certainly did care about the fact that he, his car, and his carpool were trapped right in the middle of traffic.

"Oh, come on," Diego groaned. "How can there be a traffic jam here?!"

"Well, we're in the middle of the island," said Pedro, quietly sitting in the passenger seat. "Maybe something big is happening down there?"

Diego leaned back in his seat, and pursed his lips. "It better be Santa Maria herself comin' back with her baby boy to justify this shit. Ay, Jose! Why don't ya check what people're saying online?"

Jose, sprawled across the back seat, stared at his phone. "Nah, man. I don't get data down here. Why don't ya pull over on the shoulder and check it out yerself?"

"'Cuz I might lose my spot, stupid!" Diego snapped.

"You ain't going nowhere, though," Jose remarked. "Better to get some fresh air than sit here fumin', yeah?"

Pedro nodded sagely. "He's right, you know. I gotta whizz real bad, too."

"Fuck it!" Diego yelled. "You want me to pull over, I'll fuckin' pull over!"

---

---

"This is actually really nice." Diego noted, leaning on the side of his car.

"Toldja it'd make you feel better" Said Jose. "Shit's easier when things ain't as shitty, ya know?"

Diego nodded appreciatively. The traffic jam, he considered, would pass in time. Whatever was down in the quarry would finish up, and all the pendejos up above would leave. There was no reason to worry. Something scratching at the back of Diego's mind worked its way into his train of thought.

"I ever tell you 'bout this weird belt I found?" Diego stated, almost unconsciously. Jose and Pedro looked at him weirdly but inquisitively. "See, last night I was waitin' for the client, y'know? But he didn't show. Instead, some dude came by and gave me a fuckin' belt and Bingo card!"

Jose felt something sharp and heavy. Somehow, the exact same belt and card he'd been given had found its way into his hands. He didn't remember getting it from the trunk.

"So, y'know, I'm thinkin' 'me vale madre'. It's just some fuckin' toy or somethin', so I put it in the trunk and went home!"

"Why don't ya put it on?" Said Jose, eying the belt warily.

"'Cuz it's fuckin' stupid-looking, that's why." Diego snapped. Still, Diego felt a weird urge to try it on. What would it feel like? Was what that creep said earlier actually true?

Diego slowly looped the belt around his waist, and clicked the buckle shut. He felt ridiculous, but nothing else happened. Diego looked to Jose disappointedly.

"Try the card?" Jose responded, pointing at the almost-exactly-card-shaped slot in the belt.

Diego slotted the LATIN card into the belt. Nothing happened. What was it that dude said? You need to say something to activate it? What did you need to say? "Transform." said Diego.

A tinny voice, from nowhere in particular, began shouting in broken Spanglish. "L-L-L-L-L-LATIN! ENEMIES EN SERIOS PROBLEMAS, M-M-MEET EL ASESINO!"

At once, Diego was engulfed in a flash of light. When it faded, Diego looked down in horror. He was wearing spandex. Not just spandex, but skin-tight spandex, hidden only by oversized boots, gauntlets, two ponchos, and a sombrero. When Diego scrambled to tear this horrible Mariachi uniform off, his hands smacked into his guitar. The one that he was certain was hidden in a case at home.

Diego looked to Jose, who had already lost a fight against the urge to laugh uproariously at him. This wasn't the worst thing that'd ever happened to him, but it certainly wasn't anything good. Diego could only hope that nobody else had seen this happen.

[clanjos]

While the man in the snake armor attacked the paper men, punching and kicking, he looked over the new arrivals. He yelled out to them in a raspy voice-

"Run! You're going to want to ssstay out of-"

And then Lance's belt called out. The armored man thought for a minute, shrugged, and chokeslammed the creature he was currently holding, causing the paper to fly apart, revealing the stone at its core.

"...Eh, I'll take it."

OKAY: SNAKE!

Following this cry from HIS belt- matching Lance's- a rattling noise came as one of his arms stretched out and wrapped around four of the paper men, lifting them skyward and squeezing harder and harder. As they burst into limp paper bodies, his arm returned to a normal length as he flexed his hand.

Of course, this left over a dozen of the paper men, turning their attention to Mathis and the other new arrivals. The lamp monster, meanwhile, looked around.

"Huh... Well, you know me, SNAKE. I'm all for a little soiree, but I'm not sure how I feel about uninv- wait, DRIFT?"

A maniacal grin formed as the ancient lamp that formed his head lifted, showing teeth like a cemetary as he began running towards Lance. Inhaling deeply, he exhaled a blast of smoke and embers from the spout of his "nose."

"OH YEAH, FINALLY ONE OF THE LOSERS ON MY CARD!"

[KOgaming]

Lance's armor was yellow at the front with white lines tracing the sides of the suit and the spandex underneath, bordering with the black behind it. Midline on the front of Lance's body, was a thick black line extending from midshoulder to midshoulder on the other side, a dotted yellow line tracing from Lance's groin up to his neck, resembling a road. Bordering on the cups of his shoulders were black tire markings, erratic in their formation, looking almost as if the suit had been run over. White plates covered his shin and elbows, broad but short wings extruding from each of them. His mask lacked a mouth, though had two, large, white, bug-like eyes.

Lance moved around in the suit, obviously not used to it. He felt more powerful. Perhaps it was the spandex?

When the lamp-man approached, Lance was still too busy trying out the new suit. Then, when the thing got close enough, Lance looked up at it and glared through his mask.

"Is that so?" he taunted. Lance rotated his shoulders and cracked his knuckles. Then, he posed. "Let's get this show on the road."

Almost instinctively, Lance got into a fighting stance, before running off to meet with the lamp man. Lance was the first to strike, throwing a left jab aimed at what looked like the thing's nose.

[Blight Bug]

It appeared that Hoshu Hoshi's novelty bingo card had chosen to take him on a wild ride for an important reason. There was a swarm of paper creatures near him and others who were not currently decked out in spandex. Besides those similar designed fairly featureless creatures designed exactly alike there were two uniquely designed rubber monsters, one a snakeman and the other was the lampman who was eagerly ready to face the spandexed hero Drift who decided to engage him straight away, instead of going after some of the papermen.

He'd seen enough television programming, movie releases, stage productions and even a handful of ice capades to know where this was heading. Hoshi was jittering as a wide toothy grin extended on his face. The light shined in such a fashion that his teeth sparkled as he dramatically pointed down in the quarry.

"FOUL VILLAINS!" Hoshu Hoshi declared as wind blew back his hair. "I always wanted to do, well something like, that..." Hoshi muttered under his breath. Quickly Hoshu swung his backpack off his moped and opened it up, while making sure to see the mooks wouldn't break tradition.

So far so good.

First he drew out the bulky plastic belt, and snapped it around his waist. The bulkiest features were a card slot and a translucent circular centerpiece that had assorted balls. Second he drew his oversized novelty bingo card. Of course this dramatic pause could only go on for so long.

"YOUR EVIL PLOT..." Hoshu Hoshi paused with a blink or two, trying to figure out what evil plan would go on in a rock quarry. "Uh which is most certainly something... OH er, need to do my catch phrase!" He shook his head as he swung his right arm with his bingo card to the side. "It's time to buy into a better tomorrow! TRANSFORM!" Hoshu Hoshi swung his bingo-card and slammed it into the slot. The balls in the center began shaking as Hoshu Hoshi was being consumed in the light of a heroic transformation.

"LICENSING FEES FOR HEROIC DEEDS! BINGO FIGHTAH M-M-M-MERCH!" Declared a somewhat robotic voice from nowhere in particular.

Merch emerged in his own rubber/spandex armor and plastic helmet. The suit was primarily red, but the hands and boots of it were in white. There were notable small black nodules with that were located on the backsides of hands, his forearms, his shoulders, and thighs. His suit had small silver circles with a small cross on the back of the knees, elbows and one on the middle of his back. The plastic helmet, which was also primarily red, had two large white compound-esque eyes, and a lower silver faceplate.

"Woo!" Merch threw both of his arms up before swiveling his head to look at the more uniquely designed monsters. "I'll get you two after the camera crew arrives! Until then!" Merch waved at them before setting about with his true task.

With an eager stride, he ran towards the paper monsters and began swinging over emphasized hooks, jabs and clotheslines against the rank and file creatures.

[Braigo]

Ye-jun climbed to the top of a steep hill overlooking the quarry when the pulling of the bingo card had stopped. He looked out to see colorful spandex people fighting strange monster in the quarry. "Eh? What's happening down there? he though "are they filming a show? I hope I didn't accidentally walk into frame." He felt a light thud at his feet. When he looked down there was a belt sitting there. Ye-jun picks it up to investigate the belt and notices the slot at the top. He looks around to no avail to see who might have thrown the belt but nobody was there. "I...guess it's mine." He straps the belt on and inserts the bingo card.

"READY! CHANGE! BINGO FIGHTER! BURST! rings out in a synthetic voice.

Before Ye-jun could even think, a light envelops him. When it recedes he finds that he too is now clad in the same sort of spandex-like suits the people down in the quarry were wearing. He looked down at this strange white suit to see that large yet sleek armor with some vents in the back cover his leg with an odd pair of segmented stripes that run from the top of the knees to the chest piece with the bottoms segments glowing light blue. His arms had some minimal light gray armor that was far less impressive than what was on the legs. His helmet was sleek with a light blue visor and a mouthpiece with some small etchings that seemed to resemble some sort of mouth.

"I guess I get to be in whatever this is." He runs down the hill and goes to jump over a fence in the way. The vents on the leg armor activated and propelled him high into the air. He makes a rough landing but is surprised at the minimal amount of discomfort he felt from the fall. He gets up and runs straight towards the strange paper monsters and put his tae-kwon-do training to use and enters into the fray, delivering boosted kicks to his newfound opponents.

[MysteriousFrog]

Startled. It was a good word for the scenario. Only days ago Mathis had never seen anything supernatural and yet now he seemed surrounded by other people who all seemed to have similar abilities. Were that not enough it seemed he had stumbled into some sort of battle zone. This could be dangerous.

Though his instincts screamed against violence, Mathis could see this was no simple matter. And these paper soldiers had not the reason to be negotiated with. When it was over and they were defeated, perhaps then he could bring this trouble to a peaceful solution. Drawing the card he had been given and placing it into its intended slot, Mathis steeled himself for the unpleasant task before him while the paper men charged up the hill towards him.

"You who would threaten the peace, I grant you divine retribution! Flames of Agni; DEITY!"

As his call was made, Mathis' body was entombed in a blinding light. Piece by piece the light faded but never completely; emerging a new form for the imposing well built man. Like the others he had been granted a heroic, if somewhat unconventional suit of spandex. The suit itself glowed a bright, unblemished, untouched white with a gold symbol over his chest depicting hands clasped together in reverence. This style ended at his neck however and the helmet stood out as something very different from the rest of the suit. Mathis helmet was a deep red with flame patterns decorating it. The helmet seemed to split in the middle into two faces looking 45 degrees from where the body faced allowing Mathis to look out of the centre two eyes. Finally, a As the light faded around his hand it seemed to condense into a tool. A hand axe with metal polished to a gleam and glowing red hot at the edge of the blade.

By the time the transformation was complete 2 paper men were already almost upon DEITY. From below his helmet covered face he breathed a sigh of resignment at the task before him. "Ashes to ashes." DEITY grunted and swung the axe with all his might. From its point a wave of flames lashed out at the paper men.

[clanjos]

As the other names rang out, the lamp monster skidded to a stop, trying to remember something- right before Lance punched him square in the spout. Staggering backwards and swearing under his breath, the creature gripped his nose and winced. SNAKE, he could handle. But there were now multiple dudes in spandex. Enough to form a five man team. Well, that was starting to sound like a fight he couldn't cheat his way through, and that just wasn't fair.

"Alright, this shindig's getting a little crowded. Later, assholes!"

OKAY: SMOKE!

The lamp monster dissolved, floating away in wisps of smoke towards the road below. Meanwhile, what paper men weren't destroyed or already occupied began rushing those still present. Those engaged with MERCH began moving to surround him, screeching to each other- though it seemed the punches and kicks were enough to stagger them. Those facing DEITY tried a different tactic, picking up heavy quarry stones and throwing them, obviously afraid to get in close. BURST's foes kept trying to duck the attacks and grab his legs.

---
Meanwhile, down at the road, smoke with glowing yellow eyes floated among the exhaust. Slipping in and out of open windows, through the air conditioning, he looked around like a weasel stalking its prey.

Okay, okay. I can't beat them fair. But the rules don't say anything about EFFORT. I can just snipe the kills, right? Right.

The smoke floated into a new vehicle. A trucker sat in his cab, windows rolled down and smoking a cigarette, didn't seem to notice as the exhaust coming in the window floated to the top of his cab and stared down. Already, he was late with his delivery. Laying into the horn, he shouted in exasperation as he gesticulated angrily at traffic.

"Uuuuugh! Come the fuck on! I wish these fucking cars would just move already!"

"MEEEEYEEEEHEHEHEHESSSSS!"

The smoke at the cab's roof returned to its form as a lamp monster, cackling as the truck driver yelled and scrambled out of the cab, trying to get as far away as possible. The lamp monster shrugged.

"Well that was rude! Nonetheless, O Random Asshole, your wish is my command!"

OKAY- GENIE!

Smoke emitted from GENIE's nose, forming letters as it floated into the radio- T-R-U-C-K. The tractor-trailer began shaking as GENIE jumped out the passenger's side, watching the truck twist, contort, and shrink. The trailer became two shinguards. Headlights stretched to form eyes in proportion to the enormous head-torso formed by the grill as the exhaust pipes on either side became chrome arms.

"Breaker breaker, big wheel! I'll shake the trees, you dodge the leaves!"

With that, the truck monster blared its horn and began walking steadily towards the car in front of him, panicked drivers already fleeing as he lifted the empty car and tossed it to the side of the road. GENIE clapped for a moment before turning back to smoke and drifting away.

"Aaaand 10-42 on the road leading by the quarry! But that's what you get fer stackin' yer rollerskates!"

[Blight Bug]

Merch looked skywards as the lamp-monster was fleeing away. He dramatically pointed towards the smoke and yelled, "JUST GET BACK HERE BEFORE THE CAMERA CREW GETS HERE!" The hero's attention was drawn away by the fact the monster who needed to lose on camera was fleeing away, and by the fact another fighter already drew out a weapon!

Behind the stoic expression of an expressionless mask, there was an astonished expression. Merch shook his head, before grumbling out something. It was when he looked back up he saw that the swarm of generic monsters were close upon him again.

"Look!" Merch tried to speak towards the probably mindless monsters, as he swung another over-emphazed jab ones getting closer. "Can't we wait until the cameras get here?" Merch let loose another couple of exaggerated swings.

Perhaps this wouldn't get through to them. Perhaps he needed to speak the language of their people to get them to realize the benefits for both him and them to postpone the fight until some reporters got here.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Merch screeched out as he extended both arms and began swirling around in a spastic circle, before stumbling down from the dizziness.

[KOgaming]

Lance remained steadfast as he faced the lamp man. Before he was able to do any substantial damage, however, it seemed that it had ran. Around him, Lance had been surrounded by others in similar dress, which he had seen intimidating his opponent. As the lamp-man's body shifted and evaporated, Lance threw another punch, only to strike at the air before him. His opponent had already gone.

"Where did you go?" Lance mumbled, looking around. Then, when he saw the truck come to life, Lance appeared more annoyed than anything else. "For fuck's sake."

He reached a hand out, stopping MERCH as he circled around. "Get it together." he said in a commanding tone. Lance looked up to the truck monster, then to the others around him who had been slaying the paper men.

[Braigo]

"Well at least you guys are giving me a nice training session, but don't you ever take a break?"
One of the paper men runs towards BURST but trips on a rock connecting it's face to a boosted kick. The paper man explodes. "Uhh...what?" In his moment of distraction one of the paper men kicks his feet out from under him, sending him falling backwards. He propels himself upright with his leg boosters and crushes two paper men with a ferocious stomp. He looks around to see the number of total paper men dwindling with what few left being readily dispatched.

He heard a shout to see another person clad in yellow looking up. Following his gaze Ye-jun looked to see a metal truck monster. He began to believe that this wasn't some really elaborate ruse for a tv show.