[IC] Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

[EliteCommander]

Kaleeth gave Janius a quick kiss. "Thank you. I shouldn't be too long. Maybe you could...get some dinner? My people might have something you would like." She suggested.

After Kaleeth took her leave, Julan looked quietly up at his father. Most of what had occurred over the last few minutes was both confusing and worrying to him, for a number of reasons. Juran-Selth was not as frightening as he had imagined, but he now had reason to worry about others in the village. "So, do you think we are...safe here?" Julan asked.

---

The Imperial did not take long to die, shortly after which Ahnasha's storm atronach faded back into Oblivion. The ambush had been executed in its entirety in hardly over a minute. The gravity of what Rhazii had just done was not at all reflected in Ahnasha's reaction, as she was practically smiling as she stepped up alongside Rhazii and gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Good work. You've helped make Cheydinhal just a bit safer, and overcome one major barrier to being a warrior. And I must say, I am proud of your form as well. Even in a stressful situation, you stuck to your training well. Just don't get too overconfident. These bandits were not that well-trained."

[Muttonhawk]

Janius raised his brow and looked past Julan to think of an answer. Little came to be reassuring given their altercation just a minute beforehand, but Janius was not discouraged. "I do not believe we are unsafe night now," he said, before looking directly to Julan again. "But we need to stay alert. These people are not openly violent but tempers may run high with...well, with everything that has happened."

He placed a hand on Julan's upper back and started in the direction of the cookfires. "Just play things by ear and we'll be fine. Your Jel has been stellar, I must add. You really picked it up fast."

---

Rhazii took a moment to even register Ahnasha's presence, let alone respond. He still could not take his eyes off his kill.

"Mother?" he said between uneasy breaths. "I changed my mind. I want to go back to the inn now." He dismissed his bound sword. "My chest feels tight. My stomach feels like it's trying to swim like a fish."

[EliteCommander]

Janius' answer did not leave Julan looking much less uncertain. "Um, well, I don't think I've learned that quick. Mother has been teaching me for a while. And Aunt Meesei only ever speaks Jel when it's just us. I think mother asked her to."

Julan stayed close by his father, obviously intending to go wherever he went. He was hungry, but still was not thinking much about food at this point. "Do you think the rite really is a good idea? What if...I mean...I'm very strong, you know?" He asked incoherently. He was much stronger than any normal Argonian his age should be, but was not sure how to phrase it around others, even if most did not speak Cyrodilic.

---

Ahnasha did not budge from where she was, though neither did she show any signs of being upset with Rhazii. "Come on, let's just sit down for a moment. It's a lot to take in. I'll admit, my first kill might have been a bit easier. I was attacked; had to defend myself. I didn't have much time to think about it until later. Hunting someone is a bit harder, but safer, overall. Tell me, what is it about this that you think is troubling you? From your own perspective, what is it that you are having a hard time dealing with? I've killed more people than most warriors will ever even fight, so I guarantee I can offer you some help."

[Muttonhawk]

Janius smiled. "It's one thing to transition in and out of Jel with those you know that speak Cyrodilic, son. It's quite another to hold your own against your grandfather you met for the first time in your life when he speaks no Cyrodilic at all."

The change of subject made Janius give Julan a discerning look for a quiet moment. "If you're worried about...revealing anything, I don't think you have to worry." Janius looked around. "This rite, it's not a test of just strength. Strength helps, but I doubt you will break any reasonable expectations unless you do something particularly wild. No, it will be a test of skill. Your opponent may conventionally have an advantage in strength that you will not have to worry about, probably. However, there is one thing they will have; a head start in years of experience. Your natural advantages can only do so much against that."

Janius stopped and half-turned before they reached the cook fires. "You hungry?"

---

Rhazii tried breathing in a few times to answer. He false started over and again, his face creasing with anger. He finally raised his voice. "I don't know, I just feel sick!" He loosely gestured. "The way he panicked and...died..." His mouth hung open, strangled. "I didn't fight here. I killed. I..." His head lowered slowly as his eyes closed. The rims of his eyes glistened. "I want to go home. This was a mistake."

[EliteCommander]

Julan did not have a response for Janius in regards to the upcoming fight, though he had given him something to think about. He would be fighting someone who should be better than him, if their training was not too different. Although, he had no guarantees in regards to training. From what he had been told, their clan had given him better training than he usually would have had access to in most other places, but the fact remained that he knew nothing about the village's hunters. He truly had no idea what to be expecting.

The mention of food was enough of a distraction to pull Julan back into reality. "Um, yes, I think I'm hungry. What kinds of things do you think they have?" He asked, though his attention was shifting to the people around them. Naturally, he, and especially Janius, attracted a lot of attention by the mere fact that they were present in the village. But, what Julan seemed to notice more than anything were a group of young Argonians, around his age. Back in the Silent City, there were a wide variety of residents, including Argonians, but Argonian children were still rather rare as permanent residents. In fact, there were only a handful, including Julan. It was a far different experience than being in a place where the only people his age were Argonian.

---

"He was armed, and he tried to kill you. Were the roles reversed, he would have killed you. Without hesitation." Ahnasha remarked without any hesitation. "You are looking at him too much as if he is like yourself. Truth is, these bandits are more like the animals you usually hunt than you think. Really, I would say they are even worse than the Falmer. At least those Elves have a few thousand years of insanity as their excuse for their crimes. Brigands like these are just pathetic all-around."

Ahnasha looked down and gestured towards the body. "Just look a the body, but imagine it as someone else's. One of your aunts or uncles? Mayble Llarasa, or your eccentric, but kind-hearted grandmother? Imagine if one of them were just laying dead on the side of the road because a bandit decided they wanted their coinpurse. That is how much of animals these bandits really are. They chose to live their lives preying on the weak and innocent, and this is the price they deserve to pay. If we pulled a random Legion patrol off the road and showed them these bodies, they would probably commend us on our initiative. So yes, you killed that man, but in your position, he would have bled you out slowly, then laughed about it. Watching you that whole time, I can say that I'm proud of you, Rhazii. Even with all of those worries swimming around in your head, you did what you needed to do. Your training really has set in well."

[Muttonhawk]

"Whatever the hunters bring in and whatever the gatherers forage, that is what's eaten," Janius answered, putting a hand on his hip. He followed Julan's eyes to the people around them. "Food doesn't tend to keep long in the marsh, so people eat what's put in front of them. But..." He smiled at Julan and switched to Jel. "Go on and ask what there is to eat. Maybe having a chat with some other people will help calm yourself."

---

There was no telling whether Rhazii's distress was escalating because of his age, Ahnasha's choice of reasoning, or just the growing pit in his stomach. The certain detail was Rhazii's temper breaking. He bared his clenched teeth at the body, scrunched his fists, and noticeably held back his fuming voice. "That's not f-...Sorry, I need to go..."

He started in a walk with broad, brisk steps away from Ahnasha before he even finished speaking. He looked to the ground all the way. His fist twitched as he went until he reached the trees and broke into a jog.

[EliteCommander]

"Oh...okay." Julan replied nervously. They had reached the cooking fires and could easily smell the scents of both raw and cooking meat in the air, though he did not recognize what was being cooked. His stomach growled, though he was not exactly sure what the etiquette was for grabbing a meal. Was it okay just to take what he wanted, or did he need to ask someone specific? In either case, he just decided to stick close to his father and hoped they would be able to figure it out together.

---

Ahnasha sighed to herself. She had hoped that Rhazii would not have such difficulty moving past his previous concerns, but she supposed she always knew it was a possibility. He had already carried out his first kill, so Ahnasha supposed she just needed to help him get past this one last obstacle before he would be ready to truly be a warrior. She tried to avoid showing any frustration as she started to jog after him. "Rhazii, just slow down a second. I understand you have a lot to think about now, but it's not something you can just run from. We need to talk about this, together."

[Muttonhawk]

Reactions to Janius and Kaj-Julan's approach was mixed. A few people stepped away though there were enough young and curious tribespeople who engaged with Julan over a meal. Janius' attempts to have Julan socialise on his own turned out easier than he thought -- some rather poisonous toads were on the menu and Janius had to excuse himself to find something he could eat safely.

---

Rhazii sped into a run. His voice broke into a saddened high pitch. "I don't want to talk right now!"

Fortunately for Ahnasha, Rhazii's emotional tilt prevented him from being too hard to pursue. He was clearly weeping while he was running and wiping at his eyes. Even then, he did not get far before he slowed to a stop and lowered himself onto one knee with his hands clutching his lowered head. He bared his teeth with such a tight grit they almost audibly ground together.

He mumbled to himself, almost in whimpers. He made little effort to make himself understandable. The only a few words came through. "Not now...not now...don't want to transform now..."

[EliteCommander]

Kaleeth had not specified exactly how long she had intended to speak with Reanaseer, but it was likely longer than Janius had been anticipating. She ended up being away for almost a hour and a half, which was far longer than it took for Julan to have his dinner. Most of that time was rather dull for Julan, considering that he was still too anxious to approach anyone himself. He constantly was getting looks from others, some suspicious, and some merely curious. However, it took someone else approaching him before he interacted with any of the village beyond just asking for food. It was almost an hour after he sat down, but Janius would finally see Julan talking, albeit nervously, to a group of villagers around his own age.

For Janius, Kaleeth did eventually return from Reanaseer's hut, though her demeanor did make it hard to tell exactly how that conversation went, at least at first. It was hard to tell if she was depressed, or merely self-reflective as she approached. "Um...sorry I took so long. I guess time got away from me. Is everything still alright?"

---

Once she caught up, Ahnasha approached Rhazii more slowly. She kept her voice calm, but still firm. "Your beast does not enjoy leaving behind the spoils of a hunt. I am not surprised it is lashing out, considering all of the meat ran from. It wants its reward."

Ahnasha stepped around and knelt down in front of Rhazii. Before saying anything further, she pulled Rhazii into a hug and held him there. She wanted to give him a few moments to vent his emotions in silence, but she did need to keep him calm enough to avoid transforming. "Breathe a moment. Just focus on that, on each breath. You're here with me, with your mother, who wants nothing but the best for you. Do you trust me, Rhazii? Do you trust that, more than anything on this world, I want what is best for you?"

[Muttonhawk]

While Janius was not particularly worried about the time Kaleeth took, the wait was unexpected. He resigned himself after eating to try and meet other tribespeople who emerged to eat. Success was varied, mainly because the villagers frequently had to leave and get on with their own tasks. There was not much time to relax for the adults.

Janius contemplated finding some way of making Julan and himself useful, or perhaps at least to take Julan to see Thorantilth if he was available. He did not make a decision before Kaleeth eventually returned.

"Quite alright, yes," Janius replied. "No more bad encounters with anyone. Julan's even making some friends." He gestured a hand to where Julan sat talking with the other teenagers. "I was thinking to ask for something that needs doing. Everyone being busy around me had me thinking I looked rude and lazy." He shrugged and looked directly to Kaleeth. "How are you? How was your talk with the elder?"

---

Rhazii at least followed Ahnasha's instructions to focus on his breathing. He did so with difficulty, but each breath out did ease his tension.

It took Rhazii a while to respond. His head moved in a little nodding motion. "I trust you, mama," he said through a blocked nose. His shoulders relaxed into a slump and he spoke through held-back sobbing. "I feel really bad right now. Really bad."

[EliteCommander]

Kaleeth hesitated a moment, moving herself up alongside Janius and taking his hand in hers. "Not unpleasant, but...she was honest with me. Said some things I think I needed to hear. I did hurt my parents when I left. There's no sense trying to hide from that. But, she said there was...purpose to it. I'm, um, not exactly sure what she meant by that. She kind of started rambling for a while when we were talking. Her caretakers said she's not always able to focus like she should. She's still her, though, just a little bit crazier, I guess." She said, smiling lightly.

---

"It's understandable, but I'm glad you trust me. In truth, I've always worried about you following in our footsteps, and living the kind of life we live. It's dangerous, and not for the feint of heart. But, I also know that it is not my place to stop you, and if being a warrior is the life you want, then I need to do everything in my power to prepare you for it. I brought you out here to help prepare you mentally for the road ahead of you. To have a stronger mind than...I did, when I was younger." Ahnasha explained. She paused, releasing a long breath as she lowered her head, as if in shame. She pulled back somewhat from Rhazii and brought her hand up to her chest. For the first time during their hunt, she actually looked uncertain, or even nervous.

"A weak mind will not just get you hurt; it can hurt the people you care about the most. Me, your father, we both had weak minds when we needed to be strong the most." She said as she began tracing a finger down the prominent scar down the center of her body. "I told you this was an old battle scar. That was not true, at least not entirely. This scar is a constant reminder for how we failed you, and how our failure scarred you for life." She said, bringing a hand up to Rhazii's cheek, over the remnants of his burns.

[Muttonhawk]

Kaleeth's answer caused Janius to mirror her contemplative demeanour. "I do remember her being very pleasant," he said. "Reasonable, mostly, actually." He reminisced for only a second before refocussing. "Did she help you...make sense of all this?"

---

Rhazii lifted his head halfway up to look at Ahnasha when she backed away. His eyes were puffed out and red and his ears remained horizontally pointed. "What do you mean?" He asked, glancing at the scar. "Did you...hesitate to kill someone?"

[EliteCommander]

Kaleeth looked uncertain for a few seconds, and had to think of how to word her response. She hummed to herself for a few seconds, then shrugged. "Um...sort of. I think all of this is just really hard for me to make sense of. A lot of our time we just spent talking about the past, about...memories. We talked about my mother a lot, especially about how she was after I left. It hurt her that I left, but I understand she didn't hate me for it. She wasn't like that. She, um...well she did probably hate you. A lot, unfortunately. Not because of who you are or anything, but just because you took me away from her. I think she would have liked you if she got to know you. The Elder agreed. She also thought it would be a good idea if I talked to Thorantilth about communing with the Hist properly. I think I will, but maybe not right now. I just need some time. So, how is Julan getting along with the others? Have you been listening in on them?"

---

Ahnasha shook her head. "No, our situation was different, but we did lack the will to endure what we needed to endure. You know that you were burned in a fire in Black Marsh, back when we were negotiating with Hal-Neesa's cult. That is all true. They were being attacked, and as a condition of our alliance, we were helping them. Neesa and her cult are awful people, make no mistake, but those mercenaries were every bit as detestable as them. They captured us, me and your father. They restrained us, with Fendros facing me, then had healers keep me alive while one of them while one of them cut me open."

For a moment, Ahnasha hesitated and broke eye contact to hide the pain that the memories brought back. Then, after a deep breath, she looked back to him and recited her story with a practiced lack of emotion. "He peeled back my skin from my neck to my abdomen, like a hunter skinning a deer. He cut through the muscle to put all of my insides on display for Fendros. He did anything he could to hurt me and force us to give up information on Neesa's stronghold for their attack. The stronghold where you were at the time. We failed. Fendros told them what they wanted to know; gave them intelligence they used in their attack. I blamed him for a while, but I could only do that by lying to myself. I wouldn't have lasted a minute longer. I would have told them, had he not. It was a different sort of mental willpower that we lacked, but just as important."

There was another brief silence from Ahnasha, but she managed to keep her thoughts focused. "And the man who did that to me, my torturer, what would you think should have happened to him, Rhazii? If it were your choice, what would you say he deserved?"

[Muttonhawk]

Janius nodded along with Kaleeth. He formed a subdued smile; it did sound like it was what Kaleeth needed to hear. Perhaps more than that she needed to hear it from Reanaseer.

He put an arm around her shoulders as he turned to where Julan sat a distance away. "Oh, only here and there," Janius answered. "He was nervous but he's opening up now, I think. Shall we go and meet his new friends?"

---

Ahnasha's recount caused Rhazii to bring himself upright while kneeling. He looked confronted and some of his sadness returned, this time sympathetic towards Ahnasha, but he did not sob.

He turned his eyes down and away for a moment. He sniffed and rubbed the tears from his eyes. "The worst punishment there is. He would deserve the worst, to do that to you and father." He had to stop to breathe. He looked to Ahnasha's eyes. "Mother, I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

[EliteCommander]

"Hmm, sure, I guess we can. I just hope we don't interrupt anything." Kaleeth replied. Julan was within sight, but too far away for even them to hear over the general noise of the village. Although, Kaleeth could observe a few things just by watching Julan. A decent-sized group of seven or so young Argonians had gathered around Julan, and he clearly was not exactly comfortable being the center of attention. He was not smiling and laughing as he often would with his friends back home, but neither did he look like he wanted to get away from the group. Some of the Argonians were excitedly talking to Julan any chance they had, while a few were looking at him silently, and perhaps judgmentally.

Regardless, Kaleeth joined Janius and approached Julan and the others. The girl who was firing questions at Julan like a volley of arrows did not notice as first, but most of the rest of them did. Most grew silent, and all eyes shifted to Kaleeth and, in particular, Janius. A tan-scaled boy sitting on a log in the back of the group sat with his arms crossed, staring up at Janius with a blank expression for a few seconds before finally speaking. "He doesn't look that strong."

---

As tempting as it was to embrace Rhazii's sympathy for her own comfort, Ahnasha did have a purpose to telling her story. Keeping her calm, she spoke softly and nodded to him. "And I would agree. I was furious when I saw him die, because I wanted to bleed him out slowly. I wanted to make him suffer in just the same way, but it was...Sabine I believe that finished him while they were rescuing me, more quickly than I would have liked. But, I still saw him die, and do you know what it was I saw? Fear, regret, pain. He was terrified to die...just like the man you killed. And yet, he got off easy compared to what he deserved, I think we would both agree. The point being that all people, no matter how despicable and deplorable they are, will tend to die in fear. The man you killed looked pitiful in his final moments, he looked like he deserved your mercy, but that doesn't mean he did. They were bandits. While I doubt they extensively tortured their victims, they still killed innocent people for a few bags of coins. Think of all the mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters that never returned home because of them, and think of all the people who will now live because of you. Don't...take this the wrong way, but I'm actually glad you reacted like this. Only a monster kills without feeling."

[Muttonhawk]

Despite the quiet he and Kaleeth caused, Janius wore a friendly smile for the group. He raised his brow to boy on the log when he was addressed, but did not skip a beat. "Well, hello to you too. And to the rest of you, greetings. Julan, who are your new friends? I didn't think I had lost that much muscle in my old age." He chuckled.

---

Rhazii was at least calm now, but he remained visibly conflicted. He carefully turned himself around to Ahnasha and sat on the dirt with his arms holding up his crossed legs.

"I can do it," he said firmly. "I can protect those I care about." He lowered his head and closed his eyes, thinking hard. "Mother, I love you. You look out for me. But I want to talk about something- a few things, now." He sighed. "Sorry I ran off on you. I got really scared and angry back there."

[EliteCommander]

Julan started to rub the back of his neck. "I, um, we're not really friends. I mean, not that we can't be friends, but we all just...met." He said, looking as awkward as he was sounding. The boy on the log looked too surprised about Janius actually speaking Jel to pay much attention to Julan, but the girl who had been questioning Julan looked up at him with an almost ravenous sort of curiosity. She had dark, somewhat violet scales, and looked to be somewhere within a year of Julan's age.

"You're his father? Is that really true, though? I mean, how can a Human be the father of a Saxhleel?" The girl asked.

---

"It's alright." Ahnasha said without hesitation. "That was the whole point of this: to deal with those feelings now, with me, so that you aren't really in any danger."

Ahnasha sat herself down in front of Rhazii. She seemed mostly relaxed, but her twitching ears and occasional glances into the forest showed that she was still reasonably alert. "If you want to talk, we can take as much time as you need. There is still plenty of time before we need to be back in the city."

[Muttonhawk]

Janius stopped and gave Kaleeth a quick look. He did not know how else to answer as he addressed the violet-scaled girl. "...Same way as a Saxhleel can be the father of a Saxhleel, child," he explained. "I see plenty of curiosity is still in the youth of the village. Reminds me of you, Kaleeth." After giving Kaleeth a smile, Janius turned to Julan with a teasing grin. "Do you plan to marry someone from here, son?"

---

Rhazii nodded. Then he was quiet, looking down and away for a while.

"Mm." He spoke carefully, like he was thinking about each sentence before saying it. "I know you said those were bad people. I know you said they deserved to die so that they wouldn't keep doing bad things. I trust you. I believe you..." He glanced up worriedly. "But next time, I might not know. What do I do if I kill someone I was wrong about? Like this -- hunting them down all deliberately."

[EliteCommander]

Julan's gaze snapped up to Janius, wide-eyed. He was caught off-guard, and stammered for a few seconds as he spoke. "What? I don't...I...that's not funny!"

Several of the others laughed, though not all may have been doing so in good fun. There were two or three that looked more judgmental, perhaps mistrusting, than the rest. Must like the rest of the village as a whole, there were some who did not necessarily take kindly to outsiders. Julan's anxiety might have been at least partially justified. Still, the violet-scaled girl was content ignoring any and all of the others to continue her questioning. "Humans also have marriage? I didn't think you'd have that without the Hist to keep you together. Did you really come here to find your son a wife? I thought he said he was here for his rite?"

The boy sitting on the log in the back huffed dismissively. "No chance a softskin-raised like him is going to beat a real hunter. Should have just picked the rite of endurance and hope that the Hist take it easy on you. Or maybe you're afraid the Hist will punish you for being softskin-raised."

---

"Well, in a war, that is usually a much easier question to answer. Anyone who associates themselves with Vile deserves what they get. Outside of a war, you rarely would have a reason to hunt down someone to kill them. For the most part, you would only be defending yourself against an attacker. If someone is trying to kill you, then it should not be a moral question for you to kill them." Ahnasha answered. She did not usually think as much about her targets as Rhazii was, but she wanted to give him reasonable ways of avoiding guilt. "We don't usually make mistaking selecting our targets in this war, and if we do, then it won't be your fault."

[Muttonhawk]

Janius laughed gently at the girl's question. "No, I'll not force Julan to marry anyone. He can marry whomever he can charm on his own."

As for the doubtful boy on the log, Janius lifted his chin and smiled. "You might be right. You might be wrong. Either way, Julan picked his path and I'm interested to see where it leads him." He peered down at Julan again. "But, if you wanted, perhaps you could practice a little before the rite, Julan. We haven't been able to do much sparring while travelling but maybe you could ask someone here?"

---

Rhazii shifted uncomfortably. "I understand defending myself, that's not the thing." He winced and ran a hand back over the burnt side of his head. "Mother, I don't think I'm comfortable killing anyone just because I might think they deserve to die. And...I feel like that's what happened back there."