Oh. We are real. We are Damn Real.
Who are we? We are the American Dreams and The American Nightmare. We are the Rockafellas of Magic. The Elvis Presleys of Disappearances. The Freddy Fucking Mercury of Sorcery. Who are We again?
We are the Goddamn Illuminati. We are THE power. We are Richest mother lovin bitches with guns. We are what rappers rap about when they throw up the diamon and the pyramid. We are what causes pasty skinned tinfoil hats shit their britches. We are to secret societies what Bruce Lee is too kung fu movies.
Only we do our own stunts. Jackie Chan style.
-Illuminati Orientation Briefing.
-
Welcome to the Hidden World of Magic
-
Welcome Assets, to a world of Magic and Money. Welcome to the world of the Illuminati. Who really are the illuminati, goofy orientation briefings aside? Well, the illuminati are the men in black behind the curtains of American History. No, they aren’t quite what fiction tells you they are. They aren’t aliens or a shadow government. Sure, Illuminati have their political assets, they own enough politicians to be on the safe side. But they have no intention of ruling the country or the world in the traditional sense. No. Everyone knows money is where true power lies, the miracle that is Capitalism dictates it so. ANd so that is what Illuminati as about, true power, the power of money. And as it happen, the power of Magic. Magic is far more common than the mundane realize, gods walk among us and the Fae play tricks on us, appearing like rockstars. Demons barter in souls and eldritch things lurk on the outskirts of sanity, threatening the very fabric of space and time.
These are forces mere money can’t control, for this, you need magic. Illuminati have a long history with the occult. Since the dawn of the American Concept, Illuminati have bartered with the demons, kept out the Elder beings and misled the Fae and blackmailed Demi-Gods.
They are not alone in doing so, other organizations have come and go. For a while, The Templars were southern europe's custodians, being the catholic faiths secret police and witch hunters. Then the Inquisition tried their hands, more publicly and brazenly then the Templars. All these were were examples of how everyone tries to control that which is so fleeting and hard to seize. Attempts at controlling magic. The west used to try and condemn it, and control it through fear and extermination. Then the Ottoman Empire demonstrated what happens when you try and supress an entire populace of Djinn. Bad shit happens kids. Bad. Shit.
Most people were to focused on the World Wars to really know the bad occult shit that went down during each war. Thule Society tried to bring a literal appocalypse when it was clear Germany was losing for one. WW1 saw a spike in necromancy that is still being felt today. While world war one was becoming a human grinder, all that necrotic energy, all that death and suffering had to go somewhere.
-
Hostile Takeovers and The quest for Monopoly.
-
These days Europe stands unders the D.A.P.P.E.R umbrella, a secret organization spearheaded by the european union's top occultists. The “Department of Apprehension, Protection of Extra-Dimensionals and Reanimated” have a somewhat antagonistic but civil relationship with Illuminati. They blame Illuminati for many unproven and most definitely minor slights on European Soil. Add to that a unhealthy amount of antagonistic fey who squarely blame us for yet another slew of unprove. They also have one hell of a time policing the many companies and organizations within the EU who dabble in paranormal stuff on the sly, like the Brunberg Iniative and The New Hospitalers.
To the East, You have the Gilded Crows who are rooted in the old learnings of the legendary Rasputin, and modernized by Soviet think tanks during the cold war. They do not care much for Illuminati at all. In fact, they claim Illuminati are behind the Fall of great The once great Soviet Russia. Maybe we were, maybe not. All you need to know is that it became a whole lot easier to operate in eastern europe without the iron curtain and the great evil known as communism.
Further east and you come to the territories of ancient mystics and religious dogma that would make early proto-christianity proud. Among the many taoist, miko priests, thai exorcists, hindu priests, buddhist monks and similar mingling faiths, there is no single organization. Instead you have old bond between practitioners with some serious mojo, keeping everything Indian Rakshasas to japanese Tsukemono in their place.
Down south, Across the mediterranean and you come to a place of magical anarchy. Due to decades of exploitation, enslavement, foreign intervention and a serious lack of oversight, Africa and the middle east is one hell of a cluster fuck. And we are not speaking of Petty dictators and opressive regimes backed by various foreign interests. We are talking about a magic community that hold some of the oldest, most valuable practices and spells in the world, but living in fear of being lynched.
We are talking about old remnant chapters of otherwise dead organizations turning into cults and carving up little magic kingdoms. Of old gods awoken by greedy tombraider, of jungle horrors we still do not know how to kill. We fucked that place up more then any normal person will ever know. If the apocalypse happens, it will originate there.
“What about Australia you ask”
“Steve Irvin was a hero in more ways then one. God bless his soul. They finally got him” is my answer.
-
Illuminati Hierarchy:
-
“We invented the pyramid scheme to make sure power didn’t end up in the wrong hands, that is, in your hands. - CEO Isabelle Reyes
Life as an Asset.
It is important to know that to the Illuminati, you are nobody. It doesn’t matter if you once beat a troll to death with your big shiny hammer. Or that you are the long lost heir to a old mayan sorcerer king. TO the illuminati, your worth is what you can get them. Always disposable, never appreciated fully for your talents. Depending on which department fund you, you might live a cushy life, or you may have to do extra job on the weekend, like dealing magically enhanced oregano to 16 year olds hipster kids with more money then they have sense.
Assets exist all across the word, even though they tend to live much more modest lives abroad due to the fact that Illuminati do not have the kind of influence outside the borders to really protect an asset from whatever other secret organisations are out there, As an asset, job security is what you want. Your gig might end any second, and only reaching the status of agent will save you from future endeavours at the hands of a gun or a cursed ball pen.
-
The Many Departments of the Pyramid Scheme
-
Illuminati are in someway, the architects to modern company structure. You think any new, synergistic solution marketed has not first gone through one of Illuminati's many branches? If the answer is “No, I don’t don’t think so”. Well then you are an idiot. A well meaning, believing in the system idiot but an idiot nonetheless. The Illuminati are all about power, and keeping it in check and within its own perimeters, one way to do this is to make sure that their agents or assets don’t get to ahead of themselves and are properly vetted through years of menial work and less than ideal assignments. To work for the Illuminati is to risk your neck at the whims of the higher ups while clawing and backstabbing your way up. All assets end up managed by one
H.R.Lovecraft, Human Resources, Eldritch Style
Head of Department: Lavena “Crow Eyes” Crox
“I can see into the future, I see your cruel and abrupt death… You really shouldn’t have forgotten to file Report 14:25:87.”
No big company is complete without an entire apartment dedicated to judging you on a day to day basis. HR is that arcane force of the corperate world that balance between holding your review and paycheck like a fucked up scale. Who if you screw with them, will hound you over every workplace regulation and displace your scheadule when you ask for vacation.
Illuminati HR? Try all of the above, overseen by scrying oracles who can track your every step, make judgement based on possible features and your impact on said futures. Not to mention they are basically the equivalent of a police force internal affairs. Also, the Head of HR might not be human.
Benefit: You scare people shitless.
Drawback: You are not very well liked, at all. Ever.
Research and Denial, Because somethings are better left undisturbed.
Head of Department: Dr Manuel “acceptable risk” Reviera
“Lenny, can you hand me the copy of… Lenny, You read it didn’t you. Don’t lie to me, I can see it in your face tenta-OH GOD GET OFF ME LENNY NOOOO”
The RnD of Illuminati are a special bunch. These boys and girls have a leg up on the others in that their mad genius and fascination of magical toys is the bases on which illuminatis future relies upon. Shame that they tend to go missing due to their own experiments. Whatever you do, do not mention Krakatoa. They are still a bit iffy about that project. Something about being short on money and poor attempt at universe theory.
Benefit: You have all the cool toys.
Drawback: Untested is untested. Highest Turnover rate in the company.
Personal Relations: Rockstars and Monster movies.
Head of Department: Jenny Cho
“Abra Kadabra, simsalabim. Drink this cocktail and forget, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g..”
Every PR apartment worth it salt wishes it could just make people forget every blunder their company does. Well, that is exactly what illuminati does. They hire socialites to drug politicians with untraceable memory wiping drugs. They pay musicians to literally project mass hypnosis. They slip suggestive messages to make you angry at the mailman rather than the people who keep opening your mail before you get it.
Benefit: PR Assets are well payed in comparison to everyone else.
Drawback: PR assets are looked upon as posers, and getting respect in the ranks are hard. And you do not want to fuck up. Ever.
Damage Control, Collateral is a matter of perspective.
“You shoot him”
“No. You shoot him. I am not getting cultist gunk all over my armanis”
Many companies have spin doctors and lawyers who go out in the world and make a bad thing seem good. Illuminati, being secret like, has Damage Control. An apartment who’s idea of a hush up is murdering the everliving shit out of everything troublesome and then blame it on someone or something else. The Men in black? Those would be damage control. A bought senator getting caught with his pants down, banging a vampire? Damage Control is there. Brooklyn having a ghoul problem, a bunch of particularly dirty cops are implicated in the burning of a house nad all its tenants.
Benefits: You get to say the line “Licence to kill”
Drawbacks: You don’t even register on the "worthy scale."
Finance: Numbers don’t lie, except when they spell the name of your dead parents on hallows eve.
Head of Department: “Vacant Stare” Ashera Mehlim
“Can we actually justify spending twenty thousand bucks on a pair of enchanted fuzzy cuffs? Because I am drawing a blank…”
You might think that pencil pushing accountants and pushy obnoxious salesmen are lame, especially within the vast organization of Illuminati. You would, if asking PR or Damage Control people, be right. But one do not mess with Finance. These people don’t just barter with humans over money. These are the people with balls to lowball satan on a deal. Who go up to resurected mummy king nad ask for the rent. Who will a dare a faustian demon or gamble souls (preferably yours) on risky high stake, high payout endeavors. In short. Don’t get on their bad side.
Benefits: Setting your own budget, training in dealing with soul bartering and similair situations.
Drawback: Reliant on others firepower (That you budget). Accountants are prone to missing after deducting pay from Damage Control agents.
The Nasty Nibblers and Creepy Crawlies:
Humans may have mastered the normal world. And the secret world. But they are not alone. In every crevice, horrors lurk. Vampires, werewolves and ghosts and other beings of myth and folklore. It should be noted that humans are more or less exterminating the supernatural by the sheer nature of having out of control population growth. Being a vampire much easier when you could terrorize a village and grab all the virgins you could stand. These days, you are lucky if you can get the bar floozy. And even then you have to dodge police, vigilantes and the Illuminatis Damage Control.
This have naturally led to many of said creatures feeling cornered and lashing out. Many of them are put down, their entire bloodlines eradicated. Some, like eldritch creatures tries to intrude on our world and reality trough cracks in the fabric of reality itself. There is no shortage of enemies to vanquish, of threats to subdue. In the end, this is part of Illuminatis purpose.
Magic in the Modern age: A guide to cellphones, coding and new age bullshit.
"Oh shit. Whaddup. It's those magic boiiiis"
- Asset 4011, before wasting a Vampire nest in Queens. Utilizing the “Straight Fire” app.
The world is filled with magic. Even in a day and age where magic is the thing people laugh about and associate with slight of hand. You’d be surprised how many new age hippies actually manipulate magic without knowing about it. Magic is malleable, undefiable by science.
But Magic in the modern age has had to adapt. Many of the old practices just aren’t cost efficient or practical anymore. Blood magic is certainly still a thing as blood sacrifices are easy to come by what with sterile modern equipment and a culture of self harm being pervasive in certain communities. And suffering and death never really goes out of style. Necromancers and similar bastards like to hang around youth centers and hospitals for this reason.
But those guys are hardly note worthy. What really made magic viable again is computers. Turns out a lot of of the information in a spell can be digitized. Magic is 90 percent about symbology and appeasing a force. Prerecorded infernal harmonies or super complicated babylonian math, it all fits neatly in a cell phone. It is like a more effective spellbook. That said, the ease of which you can store spells come with a massive drawback. People are simply to untrustworthy with such powerful magic. Many a asset have utilized magic that they cannot control through unwise use of illuminati applications.
Another surviving practice is magical weapons. They tend to pop up at the worst of times, and some end up causing a lot of problems. Such as the possessed rifle that killed JFK. Or the shotgun that is now possessed by the spirit of Curt Cobaine.
Lets not get into the sentient orange wig that somehow got lose in 2016.
Creating a Character:
You are as mentioned earlier, Assets, not agents. You are not in a position of any real power. This excludes leaders of organizations that could be off use. IT excludes super amazing talents and amazing skills that is second to none. We are people who through either good fortune or miserable luck were roped in. Who staggered upon magic and horrors we somehow survived or who discovered magic the nice way, and got told to do not so nice things with it.
Sheet:
Name:
Department:
Asset Number: (No 666, I swear to god I will nickname you Edgelord, the butt from hell)
Age:
Appearance: Description obligatory. Picture appreciated.
Personality: Short blurb, Feel free to write it from a illuminati shrinks viewpoint.
Brief History.
Skillset: What are you good at. Magic trough math, fighting with a golf club, using tarot cards?
Equipment and Spells:
8x Like
