Whatever Happens, It's Your Fault (Game)

[Bluetommy]

So let's play a game

The rules are simple, roll two d6s (Use dis site here: random.org/dice) state whatever you want to happen, and no matter how absurd, no matter how completely off the wall insane, as long as you get above four, it will succeed. If it is below four, you die in a needlessly cinematic manner. Please use the dice responsibly, I don't want to see five twelves in a row.

First response selects the action.

Let's do this.

---

You are currently sleeping on a bench, it's midday and the sun is shining directly into your face. You snort and awake, then remember that you are homeless and fall back asleep.

You have gained: -NO LIFE
-NO MONEY
-DISGUSTING FASHION
-SCRAGGLY BEARD

Wat do?

[Duthguy]

See a large sack of money fall from the sky rolled a three and a six

[Bluetommy]

See a large sack of money fall from the sky rolled a three and a six

@Duthguy

Suddenly, you hear a loud whistling sound coming from above you, you awake just in time to take a massive sack of money to the face. Thankfully, you are unhurt by this, other than a large lump on your forehead. Picking up the money in your hand, you look it over. You never much paid attention in physics, but this usually wasn't supposed to happen.

You hold the money up and shake it, it sounded like there was nothing inside. You feel stupid for thinking a god-given money bag would contain money in coins, but hey, you're rich all of a sudden, that's a plus.

You have gained: -DOSH
-A BAG (AWESOME)

[JBRam2002]

I think we should decide to make the bag into a stylish pair of pants. I mean, we can't run around pantsless.

[Bluetommy]

I think we should decide to make the bag into a stylish pair of pants. I mean, we can't run around pantsless.

@JBRam2002

Looking down at your torn and ripped jeans, you decide that perhaps you need a change, you look at your money, then to the nearest clothing shop, back to the money, back to the shop, shop, money, shop, money...

BAG! You thrust your legs through the now empty bag and tie it at the waist. Lookin' good! Now you truly are the most stylish hobo in the city. You get a few odd looks, but you took fashion studies in college, you know how cool you look, and that is super fuckin' cool dude, like wow.

You have lost: -A BAG (AWESOME)
-DISGUSTING FASHION

You have gained: -NEW PANTS (STYLISH AF)
-FASHION GOD

[Duthguy]

Use your money to start your own clothing line. You rolled 2 dice:

5 5

Timestamp: 2017-02-26 18:27:03 UTC

Roll Again Go Back

[Bluetommy]

Use your money to start your own clothing line. You rolled 2 dice:

5 5

@Duthguy

Suddenly as you look at your utter mastery of fashion, you are struck with inspiration. Grabbing all your money, you buy a few sewing machines and some young children to man them for you because that's what all the manufacturers are doing these days. Basing the designs off of your own godlike sense of style, you begin producing thousands upon thousands of designs, all of which manage to make your sense of style more and more apparent.

It seems that riding a wave of nostalgia is a good idea, your clothing has managed to be a success mostly due to its similarity to the once popular hammer pants, and now all you see when you walk around these days is hipsters wearing your lovely pants and complaining about how tight clothes became "too mainstream" and that now they were fighting the system in their own way. Now that you have the hipster audience, all the wannabe hipsters follow their messiahs in buying your fashionable designs.

A few weeks later, you've seen models wearing your designs on magazines such as "Fashionsax" and "Hay Gurl"... not that you read them or anything.

You've gained: -BUSINESS SKILLZ
-MAGAZINES (YOU READ THEM FOR THE ARTICLES)
-SWEATSHOPS

[Duthguy]

Marry all of your employees, including the sweatshop kids

You rolled 2 dice:

3 5