[IC] Guild of Rejected Super Heroes

[TheUnknowable]

Meme Man sat behind an old desk that was left behind in the building when they rented it in his Tron cosplay outfit (it was cheap and fit his theme well enough), feet propped up, occasionally glancing at the screen to see if any had sent them a message yet. He had made sure everyone and their group was registered at "Superheroes.org", and had their Superhero license from the government, which was useful for both concealing your ID from the beat cops and avoiding problems with them when dealing with villains. The computer was from a school system auction when they upgraded the computer lab at the local high school, and their server was from a washed up website design company.

He was also watching Netflix in his head, because there was nothing better to do. They hadn't yet gotten a call from a client, and they had no sponsors, so they were in desperate need of money. The police radio on the back of the desk piped up. "We have a code 045417 at the ATM at 2nd and 15th." it said. That was the code for a super-villain attack and they were only two blocks away.

"Hey," he said, picking up the intercom and texting everyone on duty essentially the same message. "There's a super villain attack two blocks away. We finally got a gig, though it only pays a small bounty. Whatever, we need the money so go to 2nd and 15th if you want to help." With that he got up, ran out the door, and down the street.

[RumikoOhara]

Tangerine

Sweet Demon

Angie as Ms Rozenbaum the sign language teacher liked to call Tangerine perked up as her cell device vibrated pleasantly alerting her to a text which she read then asked the teacher and her fellow students to forgive her but that she must answer a call. This wasn’t the first time Tangerine had to excuse herself so Ms Rozenbaum didn’t object or put up much fuss as the other students rushed to the classroom window to watch her fly off on some exciting mission.

She was sure she could sense something in the small bounty lament equating it to sighting small game while hunting for a large family.

Over the trees and slightly above the buildings she flew her senses sweeping all before her with an intensity that nothing short of perfect invisibility could escape notice.

She enjoyed hunting the negatives or criminals as the people of earth called them, they hindered the progress of society, threatened the existence of people like Ms Rozenbaum and others like her that just wanted to live without fear. Tangerine hated people that caused fear; she had been the victim of fear when she was a young one. Her Mistress had caused her to experience intense levels of fear, despair, joy, pleasure and a myriad of others so that she could herself experience them in the intensity…… she almost crashed into a treetop so lost in unnecessary thought.

So she climbed up for a wider view looking for her Team or the Bad guys.

[Utrax]

Pigeons in the park nibbled furiously at a pile of birdseed. A few of them lounged lazily on the park bench and the shoulders, knees, and head of the almighty breadcrumb distributor. Here was Neftet in her skeletal glory, sitting in her usual spot, dressed sharply in a black suit and tie, a rather odd sombrero on her head, and a set of large black shades... taped in place, of course. When her cellphone binged a generic and rather annoying noise, a few of the pigeons cooed in protest to the noise.

Neftet pulled a slim flip phone from her front chest pocket then read the text message. Even as she stood, the pigeons refused to remove themselves from her shoulders, as she told them, "Me crime fightin' must commence, gang." The pigeons cooed anxiously.

Neftet pulled a handful of birdseed out of her pocket and scattered them. Those pigeons of bravery, however, remained in position on her shoulders. The ATM was only a block away so she proceeded toward it at a stroll, hands in her pockets, hoping that someone else beat her to it.

The dietary concerns of pigeons were far higher on her priority list than super villains, after all.

[Framing A Moose]

Sawyer hated school. To be fair, she hated everything, but school had a special place in her stone cold heart, a place more filled with loathing and detestation than any part of her, a place that also harbored her hate for cats, Squirrel Girl, people who do bad shit, and most sequels. Oh, how she abhorred every moment of her required seven-hour school day, which only made it feel longer. But there was one class that she hated slightly less than most: biology. Key word being slightly, as most days it was just reading textbooks and writing out short essays, but, on occasion, the class would have a dissection. It never really mattered to Sawyer what it was they were dissecting, as long as it was alive once. It was a great way to let out her anger.

This wasn't one of those days. It was, instead, a boring day of reading. Halfway through the class, however, the day was spiced up by the feeling of a vibration in her pocket, which she instantly identified as a text from her phone. She slid iPhone out of her pocket and looked at the notification, surprised to see the contact it was from, and more importantly, the message. 'Meme Bitch: Hey, There's a super villain attack two blocks away. We finally got a gig, though it only pays a small bounty. Whatever, we need the money so go to...'

"Fuck!" Sawyer muttered, seeing that the notification stopped there. "Stupid fucking apple device." she then put in her password of 3825 into the phone to read the full message. 'Meme Bitch:There's a super villain attack two blocks away. We finally got a gig, though it only pays a small bounty. Whatever, we need the money so go to 2nd and 15th if you want to help.' Once she read the full message, she shoved her textbook into her backpack and zipped it closed, before throwing it over one shoulder. That was another thing she loved about this class. The teacher, Ms. Prinston, was an extremely old woman, who was half deaf, half blind, and was probably a little senile in some regard. Due to the woman's ailments, Sawyer always had the option to leave.

"I'm checking out, teach. See you next class." she said, swinging the door open and exiting.

"Eh?" she heard from the room as she threw her hood over her head and walked through the halls of the building. It only took a few minutes to get to her crappy sedan outside. When she did, she popped open the back to see her badass costume along with all of her weapons in their holsters. This was going to be epic.

Sawyer grabbed all of her things and got into the backseat of her car to change. And it was in moments like those that she considered what the word "super" actually means. It wasn't all Batmobiles and Fortresses of Solitude. At least Superman got it partially right. After all, that asshole had to get changed a goddamned phone booth. In her case, "super" meant struggling to put on a bulletproof vest while pressed up against a window.

Once she had everything on, she grabbed some duct tape and two black cloth napkins from under the seats, both of which with her and her school's insignia on them. After looking out the window to make sure no one was watching, she opened her car door, went around to the front, taped the napkin over her licence plate, and did the same to the back. Then she got into the driver's seat and put the key into the ignition, before pulling out of the school's parking lot and to the direction of the attack.

[Utrax]

Neftet-- ah, Bones as she was known by to other "Heroes"-- continued her walk into town without incident. People didn't run and flee in terror from the walking skeleton at all in fact, she didn't really turn heads that much. Most people in this day and age, much to her relief, tended to assume she were just in costume and wearing very convincing cosmetics. Sometimes people would stop her for pictures but other than that, Bones was free to walk toward this "Super Villain Attack" without incident.

When Bones turned a corner she was within eyesight of the scene of the crime, still walking casually, still a perch for two pigeons, and still wearing a sombrero.

[TheUnknowable]

Meme Man neared the crime scene, noticing Neftet's approach, and hid behind a police car. He recognized the villain as Macho Man. According to superheroes.org he was a former pro wrestler known as "Poffo the Barbarian" who, when they started testing for superhuman steroids, opted for gene splicing to make himself stronger and more durable. There was a major shortfall from the gene therapy, though. Using his super strength burned a lot of protein, which explained why he had just stopped pulling the ATM machine out of the wall and crammed a processed meat snack into his mouth.

Meme Man texted that info to the others and activated Chuck Norris mode. He then popped out of cover and ran at the enemy.