[IC] Countries as people: World War One

[Bluetommy]

Home of Serbia and Montenegro

@OfWindAndRain@Dannyrulx@SillyGoy@Lady Selune

The room was dark, cold, and damp, it seemed to project a chill into the spines of anyone who entered it. An endless tapping on the ceiling was enough to drive anyone to madness. In the corner, tossed against the wall to provide more room, was what could hardly be described as a bed, and, on top, a carefully assembled pile of beer-bottles, some still with the drink still in them. Seated at the front of the room were the two hosts of this meeting, the impeccably dressed and frowning Serbia, and the wrapped up and shivering but still frowning Montenegro. Serbia rested his hands on a large saber, glaring over the black gloves he wore. With a weak cough and a clearing of his throat, Serbia grabbed his sword and stood to address the room.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I called you all here. I'm pretty sure I hate you all, but that doesn't mean you're not useful. I've been snooping on Austria, and I'm pretty certain she's mistreating Bosnia," he began, his voice deepening as he mentioned Austria.

"If that bitch is mistreating my brother, I swear to god I will wring her neck, cut her damn head off, and send it to Germany in a BOX! And I need to be sure that I will have your help, for the Balkans' sake," he finished, sitting back down. Montenegro rolled his eyes in response.

---

@Wernher@TalijaKey@Nerevarine

Movie Theater

A large auditorium, the sound of thunder, the comfort of the seats, the warmth of the lights hanging from the walls, the projector failures... hold on. The film ended, and all of the Central Powers stood, dropped off their garbage, and went to leave. It was an attempt at bonding, to get Austria and Erika on the same page considering that now they were allies. Osmani had been invited as well, an attempt to improve relations between her and Austria, who had been historical enemies, now that they had finished, they no longer had the movie to distract them, now they actually had to... CONVERSE! The horror!

The outside was cool and damp, with the darkness all-consuming. The streets were all but empty, with one smoky shadow sometimes visible in the outskirts of their vision, but it always turned out to be nothing. The moon was bright in the sky that day, light dancing from it and barely brightening anything, the factories had blocked it out with smog and black clouds. The gas lights had all burned out, and the buildings were all closed up and empty, with a few boarded up hastily by business owners attempting to leave their old debts behind. The movie theater itself was barely in shape to stand itself, with cracks along the whole thing and the sign long since having fallen off.

One good thing about all this, they knew Serbia wasn't there, you couldn't smell smoke or vodka, but that didn't mean that they were alone. The thought of having to deal with the Entente at this point was too much when they barely trusted each other. Italy had also neglected to join them, something about a communist uprising, none of them believed it, Italy just seemed to trust them even less, whatever it was, they were not pleased to have a non-controversial invitee stay home.

[OfWindAndRain]

Home of Serbia and Montenegro

@bluetommy2@Dannyrulx@SillyGoy@Lady Selune

The Eagle's talons scraped against the ground, as America eyed Serbia in his dank home. This was no place for a great one to be- but business always requires a lowering of standards.

America glanced about at his position, while Serbia droned on. Yes, yes, the endless fueds continue, what's new? All he knew was that he was standing at the fat left of the group that decided to attend Serbia's meeting. What a ramshackle place to live, and what an embarrassment it must be to entertain guests with.

Crossing feathered, armored arms, America was the first to speak.

"As much as I hate injustice, I see no reason to intervene on the behalf of two that are not allies. One of them, yourself, not having... any good relations, really. Why would I help someone who is not a friend? I'd be glad to trade resources, but I'm afraid I will remain outside of this affair. I have thought it best to remain... above the minor conflicts of Europe. Terribly costly, for no gain. I do hope you understand, sir."

[SillyGoy]

Home of Serbia and Montenegro

No garden, no attendants, no tea. Japan narrowed her eyes and immediately regretted answering the summons to Serbia's house. Westerners were rather barbaric, but this house was just something else. A small, drab and frankly dreary affair that barely housed two smaller nations, one of whom - Serbia - appeared to be a simple, bearded drunk. Said drunk, with whom Japan has had practically no business with before, had stated something about being bullied, and threats to bully the bullies back. Normally this was an opportunity to apply pressure on the international stage and maybe get something out of it, but frankly, Japan knew so little about the Balkans - and so little about what she herself could gain by intervening in all of this - that she deigned to do nothing but offer polite words of not-exactly support, as opposed to America's characteristically brusque refusal.

"I understand that the mistreatment of your relative by Austria is a regrettable thing," Japan said, prim and proper in her Imperial Army uniform. Meanwhile, Korea, who sat next to her in a French maid's outfit, dutifully set about her obligations as Japan's personal servant and continued to record everything in the meeting with pen and paper. "But ultimately I can do nothing in my position but to see how things develop for now. How exactly is Bosnia being mistreated, anyway?"

[Lady Selune]

Home of Serbia and Montenegro

"Such harsh words Serbia, and you know as well as I do that unless my father gives the go-ahead, I won't be lending you my manpower any time soon. Besides, heads and boxes? I'm sure there's a more reasonable way for all of this to go about." Anne sat neatly, her red coat folded over her lap, and her father's coat over that one as well. A small pin with a maple leaf could clearly benseen on the lapel of her dress as she shifted uncomfortably, waiting to see what her father would do.

[Dannyrulx]

Home of Serbia and Montenegro

The empire sat looking at his children. Enthusiastic Anne and his wayward son that was America was here, as well as a few others. He offered a smile to Japan, winking at her, before turning to the matter at hand. "My daughter and I, and, I trust you America," he said, adressing the eagle, "won't be entering a war any time soon. Unless I hear that dear little Belgium had been violated,' he was really glad France wasn't here to hear that, she would throw a fit if she knew of another woman who he had cheated on. "And, besides, It's far too risky. Austria and Germany are thick as theives, and we're all,"

At this, he stood up to adress the room. "We all have obligations to other countries to step in should another one of us be attacked. The absolute last thing we want to do," he said, slicing his hand through the air, "is get all of us tangled up into some kind of... Grand European War with all of the powers hacking at each other. As much as I would like to assist you Serbia, it's not practical in the slightest."

[Nerevarine]

Movie Theater

Osmani was quite enjoying herself. As the film played out, it was quite clear that the Caliph of Islam was planning to take this opportunity to indulge in all the luxuries she could get away with. She has seated some distance away, with enough space to accommodate a personal array of tables, with only the finest of Turkish sweets and drinks, bowls of iced sherbet and Kemal Pasha, with her faithful man-servant Armenia tending to her when her pipe required a refill of tobacco. While she may have been invited to bond with her newfound allies, it was clear she was more interested in her hedonism than to bridge any troubles they may have had.

As the film came to its end, Osmani stood herself up and stretched loudly as Armenian quickly took to carrying out her garbage and disposing of it, dashing in and out and making sure to avoid bumping into his mistress. Osmani exchanged a look at the other two girls with her, Erika and Austria, smiling at them half-heartedly as she spoke between sips of her coffee.

So, the mighty Austria, the defender of European Christendom, comes crawling to me to help her in dealing with some nuisance neighbors. Osmani spoke, invoking their long history together. Can you not handle them on your own?

She was being haughty as always, but it was clear that there were advantages to her joining the Central Powers. It was not long ago that Britain had come to control Egypt and Sudan, something that was a great dishonor to her. And with Russia joining the Entante, her greatest enemies were all joining as one. Normally, Osmani would not be able to handle herself, but Austria and Germany were strong, and maybe, with the help of former enemies, she could get back the upperhand that she had lost in Europe.

As well, a chance to humiliate Serbia, the petulant brat, would be a great bonus.

But, she couldn't let them know she was in need of their alliance. The Sultan had to keep up her air of superiority.

[TalijaKey]

@Wernher@Nerevarine

Movie Theater

Things were getting more irritable this days. At home things weren't too well, but for this meeting hungary was holding the forth and she was to ensure things go well. The movie was not much to her liking. She sat beside Erika, ever so often looking over the Ottoman and the amount of food she was eating. How wasnt she round like a ball from all that sugar was beyond Austria. She much more preferred a well crafted cake piece.

She smiled ever so often.

Finally it was over, and yet, it meant the conversation couldnt be put off any longer. Austria stood as well her warm long blue dress flowing around her as she adjusted the white silk scarf around her neck. It suited the dress and her loosely bind hair perfectly. The Ottoman spoke first, and instead of a bit of small talk about the movie they just watched, she simply cut to the point.

The people she has to deal with at times.

"Now, now, my dear. With progress of time its only natural that we all change with it, or we would be left behind." Austria spoke, knowing exactly how outdated some things in her guest home are. She waved her hand as if it all wasnt important. " Islam is an official religion in my home, since I adopted Bosnia." She pointed out, that had to earn some points in the ottoman eyes and her love for her own religion. Austria continued.

"Thinking of their well being, I must say Serbia is not a good influence. And he is trying my patience. Since the change in royalty in his home, he is leaning more and more towards Russia instead to search my support. " She sighed, she didnt like how this russophilia was spreading from him to her own home. She was managing it for now, still she would prefer if that wasnt even a problem to begin with. Romania was not making things any easier either, with their own nationalism at rise. Why wouldnt they just understand they are better off with her.

"And as it is true that I am not as great, with the impressive and innovative armies as my niece Germany here. " Austria looked to her family, observing how the compliment worked, and judging if she had to tone it done or raise the praise up. " I still would say that I am better off as one ally. Especially if we have such similar interest in the Balkans."

[Wernher]

Movie Theater

Germany had spent the entire movie sharpening her bayonet and thinking. Not about the predicament her aunt was in, the balkans being so far away from her mind it wasn't even a thing worth considering to her, but rather thinking about her last meeting with Britain during the Conference to diffuse the second Moroccan crisis a short while ago. Oh of course there had been everyone else that mattered there too, Russia, France, even America (Osmani hadn't been included even if they talked about a muslim nation, which made Germany wonder why she and Austria even hung out with her.). Of course, everyone but Austria had been against her. To be completely honest, she didn't give a damn about these people... only about Britain.

She had honestly expected him to side with her just to fuck with France but, against all odds, the old coot had decided to side with the frog, rather than her! Well, she couldn't blame him, Germany, after all, realized how powerful she herself was, so this was a sign that people began to understand how unfathomably superior she was and thus wanted to contain her! It was a compliment really that Britain began to crap his pants at the whisper of the name 'Geeermanyyyyy', but it made her life complicated as well. Without Britain, the task of steamrolling over France and Russia at the same time went from cakewalk to something she'd need to put her back into.

It was what brought her back to reality when her Aunt said that name, Russia. That alcoholic mess of a nation... she was actually trying to lay back from the bottle. Good for her, but very bad for people who realized the potential Russia had. She has land, she has the resources and she has the people. Britain would only start to care the moment there was a land invasion of India and France, if he even had any relevance anymore, was too busy screaming 'Alsace-Lauraine!' followed by an autistic screeching to see what was going on beyond what Germany was doing. No, Germany would have to handle it and make sure all these resources Russia had were used for a good purpose. Her own glory!

"Balkan this, Balkan that..." Being at the center of the trio, Germany swayed her now very sharp bayonet left and right as she spoke. "You know what you do to solve minority problems?" An example of what people called Germany's evil. "You make it so they can either become German, and that doesn't mean invite them in your bed, Österreich, or move away to become Americans or whatever. Now, they can also call themselves 'Polish', but since Poland doesn't exist anymore, Polish isn't a thing either!" Germany's contempt smile became wider as she tightened her grip on her bayonet. "And then you make sure nowhere is there to be found a thing such as a 'Pole living in Poland'." With extreme prejudice... it was easy to think Germany was right and that her single minded attitude of rather than solving a problem, making it disappear was the right one with how silent the 'Polish Problem' had been between her Germanification and Russia's Russification, but history would prove her wrong, not that anyone knew that at the moment.

"So Ottomane is right, Österreich! Its not that big of a problem and I'm sure you can take care of it yourself auntie, at least if you aren't lazy and let the problem fester for 300 years that is." Her grin turned to Osmani as Germany sent that jab playfully. Nothing wrong with friendly mockery of a country's history! Of course they couldn't mock her back since Germany was only 40 years old right now and had no real defeat to speak of. Not allowing for an immediate comeback on the part of her muslim 'Friend' however, Germany raised her bayonet above her head, pointing at Osmani's throat. The youthful country had become serious all of a sudden, the stern look of Bismark on her face. "BUT..." She had a smug smile as she acknowledged Austria's comment. "You also should listen to Österreich, Ottomane. I DO know better. I know that while you are both arguing about the spoiled leftover you guys left under the sun for too long in the Balkans, there is Russia." She sheathed her blade.

"Russia with her huuuuuge land and manpower..." Saying this, Germany couldn't help but mimic herself holding two large round objects she wished she had at the level of her chest... "The rest of Poland, Ukraine, the Caucasus... Guys, if you want to become big, you have to dream big! So, Ottomane... this isn't about Serbia, no... this is about being in a better position to grab Russia and squeeze..." Having said this, she began rather to fondle these invisible orbs. "...Get Poland and some of the Caucasus, that would be nice and easy..." With this, her hands crisped, smile widened and pupils became smaller. "But we should really get in there and get Ukraine and... CHINESE COLONIES out of it! MWUAHAHAHAHA!"

Germany was gone for a few seconds there, laughing like a maniac while she was thinking about what name she'd give Vladivostok and how she'd construct a beach house in Sevastopol. For Austria, this was a normal habit Germany had though maybe Osmani wouldn't be so used to it. Slowly it died down, leaving Germany in a really good mood. "Ottomane... That's the thing, you join us and you help us to grab Russia by her lower region!" Saying this, Germany extended a hand out and for a moment, looked like she was about to molest Osmani's lower region as well but ultimately, stopped at proposing a handshake.

[Bluetommy]

Home of Serbia and Montenegro

@OfWindAndRain@Dannyrulx@SillyGoy@Lady Selune

Serbia stood, one eye twitching madly, buzzing about in its socket like a trapped bug. Montenegro wrapped himself in the blankets, shaking heavily and looking on with dread as Serbia seethed. He barely seemed to have listened to the lot of them, ignoring Japan's question about Austria's treatment of Bosnia and instead focusing on their denial, whether implied or explicit. His gloves rubbed against his saber as his hands ever tightened, letting out a loud rubber sound.

"None of you believe me, do you? I was right about the lot! All imperialist pigs, you disgust me!" Serbia yelled out. With one last dart of his bug-eyes, he seemingly sobered up from his rage, taking one deep breath and closing his eyes. "My apologies, it's the drink, heats your blood, I hope you understand," he apologized, deadpan.

Bringing over two bottles, Montenegro removed his cloak and stood at full height finally. The familial resemblance was uncanny, only aided by their similar military garb. They both took long gulps from the bottles and then turned on the gathering. It was an insane change, suddenly the shivering, weak, boy, became a man at least Serbia's equal in physical stature, it was obvious he had been feigning weakness to perhaps elicit sympathy, but now he saw no point.

"You all should leave." They said at the same time.

"It's obvious this isn't going anywhere, and frankly I'd hate to talk to you any longer than necessary." Serbia added.

"Don't hit yourselves on the way out." Montenegro snarled with an inhuman amount of acidity on his tongue.

"Until you get your heads out of your lovely hindquarters, I hope I never have to speak to you ever again, especially you... bird... thing." Serbia said, specifically addressing America with a look so confused it may have only existed before in the dreams of some talent-less writer.

"I don't even know why we bothered, Russia would jump at the chance to aid us. Heh, and he's
the backwards one."

"To be honest, I had expected this, after you westerners stole the title of Roman Empire from my father."

"Er... that was the Frankish Empire, and he's dead."

"They all look the same to me."

With one final swig of his drink, Serbia smashed it against the ground and sat again.

"Unless you lot have anything else to say, I suggest you leave, I make a mean drunk."

[OfWindAndRain]

Home of Serbia and Montenegro

@bluetommy2@Dannyrulx@SillyGoy@Lady Selune

"Watch your mouth, Serbia," snapped the eagle. "You would do well to remember that every guest in this room you call a home is more powerful than you, economically and militarily. Especially myself." A warning note rang in his voice- no senile country of power long lost shouldn't be so foolish as to insult him alone. Who was Serbia to insult all Western countries? Their poor excuse of a home was more than enough indication that they were far better off.

"I would've been far more willing to supply the both of you in your fight, should you have started it, had you not been senile and unable to properly lead and negotiate. You'll receive no help whatsoever from us, for as long as you believe in yourself to be far greater than you are. Learn your place, Serbia, Montenegro."

This freedom eagle was ruffled, angry, hating their long-held self-righteousness and blindness to reason or negotiation. Silly, childish fools, they needed to be reformed already. If only he wasn't so set on isolationism, he might teach the insolent crones a thing or two about modern strength and power.

Turning to leave, America paused at the decrepit doorway, addressing his father and sister.

"Anne, my sister, and father Britain, we should meet soon. I have heard rumblings from Europe, as I'm no doubt you're aware. You too, Japan. We have business to discuss if we are to remain on top of the world's events."

With that, the eagle shoved his way through the door, leaving the meeting with the Balkans without a goodbye. They were not important, powerful, or clever enough to warrant any respect, in America's eyes.

[Nerevarine]

Movie Theater

Smoke was wafted up like a gentle silver ribbon as Osmani lit her pipe once more, handing the box of matches and bag of tobacco back to Armenia, as she permitted Austria to state her case. A faint smirk crept onto her face, as she caught the sly jab at her. Outdated, ha! How amusing. Osmani simply shut her eyes and shook her head slightly, smiling all the way as she listened to the rest of Austria's spiel, arms crossed ever so defiantly.

"Bosnia," she spoke, opening one eye and looking up at Austria. "Tell me, how has my old boy been? You've been treating him well I hope." It had been long since her favorite guest was in her home. The good little boy who took to becoming a proper civilized man; not like the violent, barbaric lot who haunted the Balkans these days. "I can't help but think he'd be happier in a nice Muslim home, but I suppose better you than Serbia."

She took another sip of her coffee

"We can at least both agree he is a bad influence."

Then came the Teutonic Thundering

Germany, now this was an interesting young nation. Osmani couldn't help but recognize the fire that Austria once held in their peak years, back when they fought each other for Vienna so long ago. It might be good to fight alongside that Germanic fury instead of against it for once.

But before the snide Turk could get a word in, she found a few good inches of sharp steel at her neck. As her eyes locked onto those of the mad girl before her, the coffee cup that was tossed from her hand shattered on the ground; the shrill noise serving as a backdrop to Erika's sudden change in disposition.

Osmani followed along, taking in her words. At the mention of Russia, the Turk narrowed her eyes and began to seethe.

That Slavonic Bitch's name only served to make Osmani froth at the mouth. 11 times they had fought, and all but once she had lost. Russia seemed to enjoy humiliating her. Not a day went by that she didn't fantasize about tearing her apart limb by limb, setting fire to her house, releasing her cousins, and bringing every last square inch of land that frigid drunk whore had stolen from her back into her possession. The murderous fantasies were drawing Osmani out of reality as she simply stood there in a trance. Erika would likely not realize this trance, but Austria certainly would, she would know that look of bloodlust very well.

That was until Germany started reaching for her nether regions.

Snapping back in defense, she quickly returned the handshake.

"Affedersin, Almanya. You're right, this is about more than just Serbia, more than the Balkans." She smiled as her grip tightened, "It's about dragging that Polar Cunt down a few pegs. No, more than a few, dragging her all the way down. Making her realize how truly worthless and weak she is." Osmani began to froth at the mouth again, as the dialog became more obviously personal and about her own shame, "It's easy to just toss your weight around, but what can one snowflake tsarina do against 3 great powers at once!"

The fires of vengeance were clearly burning in Osmani's eyes as she pictured crushing Russia over and over again in her head, breaking down and reversing all 11 of the Russo-Turkish Wars in one fell swoop. Armenia stood some distance away, clearly concerned as he tried to stay out of his mistress's field of view.

"Erika, I will do more than just take hold of her lower regions; I'll tear them off and watch her squeal in agony."

Serbia, Russia, and Britain all in one war. With Austria and Germany at her side, there was no way she could lose this. The only way this could be any better was if she had the chance to personally decapitate Greece in this war.

Then the blood lust was interrupted by a nasty and painful sounding cough, as Osmani jerked her hand away from Erika to pull out a handkerchief. The loud hacking was becoming more common lately, and more painful. Osmani just wasn't the nation she was a long time ago.

[SillyGoy]

Home of Serbia and Montenegro

@bluetommy2@Dannyrulx@Lady Selune@OfWindAndRain

Japan stood up after America, and narrowed her eyes at the... bird-thing's wake. "So arrogant," she said to herself, a snarl playing upon her lips, before suddenly smiling. "Not like I'm any better."

America's attitude was what happened to someone when one became the sole and undisputed master of an entire continent. That much power gave enough leeway that courteous diplomacy became a secondary thing. Japan wanted that. After China was hers, then maybe she could act the same way. Nations great and small would be reacting to her, as opposed to her reacting to them. Maybe she could even walk away from Britain without so much as saying a proper goodbye. The fledgling Empire's eyes burned with envy as Korea joined her out of Serbia's decripit home. Past the door, both Oriental nations shared a sigh of relief. The fresh air did better with their humors than the dank, alcohol-infused atmosphere of what those two poor Balkan countries called a home.

Japan's eyes lit up with friendly warmth. "Britain," she called, after he joined her outdoors. She caught his wink during the meeting. The gesture was both irritating and attractive at the same time - but only just a little irritating and a little attractive. "You weren't lying about the Balkans," she said, referencing a prior conversation with a grin on her fair face. "It's such a mess. The nations themselves are a mess, much like how China right now is a mess. I'm surprised Serbia even invited me here, given that I live so far away. I thought at first to decline the invitation, but figured to join this meeting when I read in the letter that you and America were also attending - but, well, I have this nagging feeling that I have just wasted my time."

[Lady Selune]

Home of Serbia and Montenegro

Anne was getting angry. Her hands shook slightly as she calmly gave her father his jacket back, before shrugging hers on herself, not bothering to do up the buttons of her blazer. In the background, as if played by an imaginary band, the faint notes of a tune could be heard playing, as the otherwise diminutive woman seemed to, no, was actually, growing, until she was standing taller and in full military regalia, her breasts shrinking and stubble appearing on her face. Stepping forward, hard boots slamming against the floor, he stood over Serbia and physically restrained himself from grabbing this drunken, imbecelic fool by the collar and slamming him against his wall for the slight, "what my brother said was correct. You'd do well to remember who you're talking to old man. The time of your country is long past. Accept that."

Stepping outside, a rifle now slung across his shoulder, he took a breath of the crisp air and pulled a packet of cigarettes out of his breast pocket, offering them to the rest of the party, before striking a match to light his own. "There's a problem with the alliances," Samuel astutely said. "They're too fragile, and too likely to break apart. All it would take was for one small incident, and we'd all end up at each other's throats, as my father attempted to point out." He paused to take a drag on his cigarette, which despite the short amount of time that it had been in his hand, was already close to a stub.

"I don't know about you, but I shall be preparing for war. If you find me and not Anne, don't talk to me." With that, he left, dropping his cigarette and squashing it under his boot, the crunch of gravel under his feet fading as the sound of a motorbike started up. Whilst Anne had arrived in a car, Samuel preferred a more practical mode of transportation, and it didn't take long before even that sound had vanished. After he was done driving, it was a short boat trip and he would be back home.

[Dannyrulx]

Home of Serbia and Montenegro

Britain was about to retort to Serbia when Anne handed back her jacket, leading to him realising that he didn't really need to say anything. After Samuel had done venting some steam at the backwards, hovel-dwelling peasant, he turned and let out a wide smile to Japan, ignoring the arrogance of America for a moment as he clapped a hand on her shoulder. "It's always nice to see you my dear. I assume Korea is well as well?" He turned to the smaller country and gave her head a friendly pat, as if he was dealing with a far younger child, turning down a cigarette from his son only to take out a pipe of his own, tucking some tobacco in it with a finger.

As he leaned forward for Canada to light his pipe, he talked through tightly clenched teeth. "You know, I almost feel guilty for how I treated China. Almost. A-" He broke out into laughter, sending puffs of smoke through his pipe. "Sorry, sorry. I absolute don't feel guilty at all. It was just a little opium and she gets so Angry! Let her fall behind the rest of us civilised countries for a bit. She'll catch up eventually, of that I have no doubt. Promise me you won't go too hard on her when you next invade, eh?" He grinned widely and took the pipe away from his lips, watching as Samuel departed.

"Unfortunately, Samuel is correct. The alliances have failed at keeping peace in Europe and we all..." He looked around, as if suddenly expecting France to pop out of the bushes, "Well, those of us who are here at the very least, need to have a serious discussion about what is to come. As I said within the house, I will not be entering any war unless Belgium is threatened, I promised her that much in the Treaty of London. The problem is, it wasn't Germany who signed that, it was Prussia, and even more unfortunately for us, Prussia is now... Well. I'm not really sure what happened to him after Germany was born. Even more unfortunately, the best way to invade dear France is through Belgium, allowing her to swoop down and take Paris, thereby slicing the head off the French forces in one fell move. I also need to send a letter to my other children. Australia, India, New Zealand... South Africa too. I will need to call on them should we end up in a scrap."

"America, Japan," he said nodding to the pair. "Meet me at my house... The one in London that is, as soon as you can. Preferably tonight. If you'd like, you cane come in my car...?" He indicated towards where a Rolls Royce stood, a butler smartly standing by the door. "I'm sure Germany likes to pretend their cars are the best in the world, but... Nothing beats British."

[TalijaKey]

@Wernher@Nerevarine

Movie Theater

When her niece spoke up, giving her take on how she should handle the problem. Austria didnt take it as a insult or jab. She knew she was beautiful and used it to her advantages. Many people tended to talk a lot in the bed sheets...Austria briefly wondered if Germany even kissed before... But that question she left for another time.
There were some ideas Germany had at times that Austria could see the point off. There was something charming about making them German, it would cut so many of her balancing acts she had to perform down. It sure felt tiresome to keep doing it. But, regardless on how tempting some things sounded she had a husband and was taking care of many cultures. She was their pillar. Maybe the three way marriage would be easing her burden... As long as her way works, she will keep walking it.

"So Ottomane is right, Österreich! Its not that big of a problem and I'm sure you can take care of it yourself auntie, at least if you aren't lazy and let the problem fester for 300 years that is."

She put her thinking to the side focusing on the conversation at hand, enjoying how Erika was showcasing her power to Ottoman. The complement had been taken very well. Austria herself started to smirk when the younger nation pointed out that the islam country should listen to her. The conversation quickly turned to the one of Russia.

"Russias land would prove to be a good colony, and god knows its unfair how the others grabbed all up. Especially England and his wandering hands."

Austria ended up honestly chuckling at her niece tactics of trying to grope the ottoman girl and talking about the fertile farm lands of ukraine. The mad laughing not sounding in anyway strange to her. Not only she was used to it she tended to enjoy the effects she could observe, that Germany laugh had on other people. her eyes focusing on Ottoman, and blatantly clear it was she liked the idea of taking Russia down.

Even if both were in high spirits and a part of Austra just wanted to join it maybe with a bottle of good bear. She took the responsibility to remind them.

"Sadly the Brit and French would not just stand by the sidelines and wait for us to become the force they fear. " They wouldnt tolerate Germany gaining anymore power, heck she was sure they wouldnt tolerate her getting anymore land. Their precious world order and balance too precious to subject to changed. Ottoman coughing interrupted her, a weakness.

Austria politely waited for the nation to get herself back in grip. If she died in this war, at least Austria was sure she will have a happy death with the knowledge they helped taking Russia down. Some sacrifices will have to be made. That is the nature of the war. Austria eyes briefly wandered to Armenia giving them a brief smile. She continued talking placing one hand on Erikas shoulder.

"Its a fortunate coincidence that I just so happened to talk with Russia a few days ago. " Far from coincidence, she planned it well and managed to scout the state of the other nation out.

"They dont have any friends, even less allies. The two closest nation they have is Serbia, and France the gear that could pull the rest of the west into helping if they saw themself in danger. " Her smirk grew a bit, fingers tapping on germany shoulder as she tilted her head in a show of thinking.

"It would be nice to isolate Russia from being able to get any help. Our homes just happen to be really nicely located in the center. There just need to be a land connection from me to our dear ally ottoman here. Dont you agree to that?"

Austria moved her hair out the way. "If done right, the west will realize what is happening too late, Russia will already be cornered on their knees and begging for mercy. With a shaky voice, but still trying to show pride in face of complete defeat." She painted the picture with her words and knew they just needed a bit more patience. They couldnt be the one starting it, but serbias honor will get him to do something stupid. A small incident was all she needed to have a reason the other nation will not question. Watching the increasingly fuming Croatia was sign enough that it will not take too long before she was given that gift.

[Nerevarine]

Movie Theater

Osmani pulled herself together from the fit of coughing, motioning with her hands for Armenia to take her kerchief and fetch her another one. Ottoman balled up the piece of fabric, hiding the blood that had come up. She cleared her troat and started listening to Austria's plan.

It would be nice to isolate Russia from being able to get any help. Our homes just happen to be really nicely located in the center. There just need to be a land connection from me to our dear ally ottoman here. Dont you agree to that?

Osmani smiled devilishly

"Well, dostum, I know just the perfect person to help us in this situation"

The smile widened as she braced for her two allies reactions

"Bulgaria"

When shit hit the proverbial fan in the Balkans, the Great Powers of Europe needed a scapegoat. France and Russia made sure to force the blame squarely onto the shoulders of Bulgaria. Since then, the very name of Bulgaria was something of a dirty word in international politics. He was left a nation with no allies, surrounded by enemies and imperial forces. But he did have something important, and that was land to bridge the gap between Austria and Turkey.

"I will conceed, Bulgaria is no friend of mine. Our past is checkered, but, I am hoping that we can count on his desires for vengeance against Russia and the other Balkan nations like Serbia to outweigh our troubled history."

Osmani looked to Austria and then to Erika, smiling at them both. "Any thoughts, dostlarım?"

[Wernher]

Movie Theater

Germany couldn't help but twitch at the mention of France, a slight look of disgust and annoyance appearing on her face for a second. France wasn't a menace, not anymore, but it was still something that would need to be dealt with. She slashed the air with her hand, speaking decisively, her 'educated guess' being fact in her mind. "France doesn't know when to let go, any move I do, he'll be there to meddle and stand against us. If we're lucky he'll just throw money at the problem and I'll just walk in a bankrupt nation later on. But likely he still thinks he has a chance and will charge in head down to his doom. Fine by me."

As for Britain, if he was stupid he'd stand by the side line and watch her crush all opposition and wait until she turned on him, if he was smarter he'd join against her while he still had a chance in hell to win and if he was smartest, he'd side with her and snag France's colonies in the process. Germany didn't say this to Osmani however, she knew how personal it was for that Turk to have the Brits in Egypt and saying that Germany wanted to have Britain with her rather than against her would maybe make Osmani think she was just an ally of convenience because nothing better was available, which to be honest was totally the case. Germany fully expected Osmani to be completely trashed in the war but that would require manpower and resources that she herself wouldn't have to face in Europe. Yes, worst case scenario the Entente obliterated Osmani instantly but would still have to spend time and effort maintaining her dominion under control and in case of a miracle, Osmani could be able to push out Britain and take Suez and secure his oil. It was a win-win.

Germany nodded to her own assessment and came back to reality to note what was being said. Yes, a railway would allow her to give Osmani support to hold out or fail to do so as needed. "Agreed. Bulgaria will cave, if revenge isn't motivation enough we can always promise some territories or whatnot." Having said that, Germany turned to Austria and gave her a sly smile. "I guess maybe you haven't lost your hand, Österreich! If you have this under control then do what you must and feel free to say you speak in my name, that generally makes things move faster but..." She regained seriousness, pointing a finger at Osmani. "I only give that right to family. We'll keep our plans quiet to make sure Britain and Russia sleep easy for now and remember Ottomane, the target of this war is Russia, not Britain, so don't start something you can't finish alone..." She was silent for a few seconds before cracking a smile. "THIS war..." And then of course, there would be the next.

"Well, it almost doesn't look like you two girls spent the better part of half a millennium trying to eviscerate one another, so I'll leave the Balkan front to you two since you seem capable enough... and because I frankly don't care. Just try and make a nice looking map without weird borders. I'll handle things in the north so I should get back to Berlin. See ya!" Without much care, Germany left, the sound of her jackboots on the ground echoing in the empty street.

Britain's House

There was quite the ruckus in London, but what could be the cause? Well, one only needed to arrive at Britain's Londonian house to see a large crowd gathering around to point at the massive airship that was tied down in the garden. To travel in style, Britain had Rolls Royce, but Germany had the Deutsche Luftschiffahrts-Aktiengesellschaft.

A hundred years ago, british admiral Lord Jervis had said to the house of lords "I do not say, my Lords, that the French will not come. I say only they will not come by sea"... Well, that amusing little joke wasn't so funny anymore now was it? Inside the house, Germany had been let in by Ireland and was talking about the most fascinating of subjects, beer. "Black beer is the ultimate alcoholic beverage, if only because of how nutritive it is." Replied a knowledgeable Ireland to her guess while she was sipping on a huge mug of the stuff. "Well, I don't know about that, I have to admit I prefer blonds. You should come to my Oktoberfest next year and see if you come around to my opinion. In the meantime, this Guinness isn't half bad! At least much better than American Beer. Budweiser, more like Pißwasser!" Germany laughed at her own joke and Ireland followed, even if he had no idea what that meant. He stopped however when he heard familiar footsteps and turned to look at Britain entering with his guests.

"Well, if it isn't the Overlord himself. Stopped to snag a colony or two on your way home did you?" Ireland got up, adjusting his beany hat before taking his cleaning supplies. "Day's work is done. I'll leave you guys to talk about your world conquest stuff." As he was about to cross the door however, he stopped to turn back and point at Britain. "And if I catch Wales trying to shag one of my sheep again, I swear to the one Catholic God that I'll beat his arse back to your shitty island, A'ight?!" Without allowing his master to respond to him (or to beat him for his insolence), he closed the door behind him and got running. Which left Britain, America and Japan in the same room.

Germany smiled. It was... unsettling. Too wide for her face, almost as if she had cut her mouth wider with that bayonet she always carried. She took a few steps toward the trio, widening her arms. "Britain! I see you brought guests. Well, forgive me for the intrusion, I just had to talk to you about a couple of things and met Ireland here! He was kind enough to let me in and we shared a beer while we waited, speaking of which, let me just..." Having said this, the oh so youthful Germany took the pint of Guinness and threw her head back, drinking... drinking... drinking... the content was quickly going down her gullet but there was so much. When she was about halfway done, she raised a black leather-clad finger to tell the trio to please hold until she, finally, swallowed the last of the content in that one go and took a deep breath. "Phew!"

Wiping the frothing on her lips with her sleeve, she finally re centered her attention on the owner of the house and the people he had actually invited in. "Sorry, where are my manners my friends! I see you brought your best colony and the miracle of the east!" Having said this, she walked with enthusiasm toward America to give him a bear hug. With the strength surprisingly close to one considering her small size. "Wie ist es dir gegangen? Haha, c'mon, I know you can speak German and I'm sure your dad won't mind. There's so much of German in you that we're practically siblings at this point!" Largest non english speaking people in America after all... suddenly however, Germany seemed to become deeply concerned as if she had forgotten something extremely important. "Oh... Amerika, I am so, so sorry for calling you a colony, I forget about the whole independence thing. You know, we only meet in World Meetings where you..." The concerned look on her face softened to become that of extreme contempt as the continued to talk. "...always vote like your dad. Every. Single. Time. Hard to remember you have a will of your own." Germany gave the eagle a little fistbump on the chest before turning toward Japan.

Her smile returning. "And you my friend, I trust you still find your choice to task me rather than France to train your army was the good one? China certainly seems to think so actually, word is she's considering asking me to do the same to hers!" That should make the slant eyes bastard sweat a little. But finally... there was the lion in the room.

When she turned to face Britain, Germany's features softened. Slowly, deliberately, she took off her cap to the bow down to him. No one got such a mark of respect from Germany, no one but Britain. But as her eyes rose from the ground to look inside Britain's, the onlookers would find in them something extremely predatory and menacing, a tiger ready to pounce. "Britain... my mentor, my idol and my friend... I hope." She straightened her back and despite that it was because he was so much taller than her, the way Germany raised her chin to look at him seemed to inspire nothing else but defiance. "Did you see my new ride? Of course you saw it. A Luftfahrzeug... Airship, in English, though we call them 'Zeppelins'. Haha, I guess I saw how you made a 'plane' America, so I told myself since it wasn't France or... or anyone else that would defend European pride I had to do it! Tons of steel, made lighter than air. Only a question of time until these can cross the Atlantic actually, already going to fair England is trivial." She watched Britain for his reaction with the corner of her eyes before turning to Japan. "Bet you don't see that in Asia uh?"

[Dannyrulx]

To say that Britain's house was large was... a dramatic understatment. It was seemingly larger than a small city, a huge, squat, red-bricked construction that towered over sweeping green grasslands and fields of flowers. The Union Jack flew stiffly out front, snapping in the gentle breeze that gusted in from across the channel and beyong that, and the sky was clear, if dark due to the late time of day. Gas lighting had been lit up across the grounds, bathing the area in a dingy yellow light, showing off the majesty of Britain.

As soon as the DLA was spotted, Britain knew about it, and whilst he humoured Germany for a while, eventually his patience ran out. After Ireland departed, his... Well, it wasn't clear what had happened between England and Ireland. Most people regarded them as brothers, but that was questionable. "Take it up with the sheep shagger himself, I don't care what those inbred yokels do in Cardiff," he joked, before turning to Germany, a pint of English ale in his hand.

"Germany!" He said cordially enough, but the atmosphere in the room was such that one could easily draw the impression that he or she had walked into a war about to kick off. "Per Ardua ad Astra," he quipped back, referring to the motto of the new Royal Flying Corps that he had set up. Taking a sip of his beer, he snarled and took a step towards the girl, seemingly becoming taller.

"I remember when I was in your shoes. Young. Rowdy. Impressionable. Fair enough. Coming into my home without invitation and disrupting my guests... I have no time for silly little girls like you. Touch Belgium, so much as lay one of you FILTHY LEATHER-GLOVED FINGERS on her, and I swear to god I will ram Berlin so far up your cunt that you'll swear you're giving birth to a city."

The room was deadly silent. Britain never swore and rarely got angry. The fact that Berlin had gotten him so riled up so quickly was not a good sign. "And if you don't think that I can do that with my oh so "contemptible little army..." he slammed his glass down, causing beer to slop over the sides of it and onto a table, where a shocked servant hurridly wiped it up.

"Try me and see how you like every one of my children that you so despise because of your pathetic father issues ramming bayonets up your arse. Oh, and I'd keep an eye on your miserable South-West African colonies. South Africa's getting a little hungry."

He turned away and took a few steps back, before turning back and shouting in a foghorn voice;

"NOW GET OUT NOW."

It wasn't hard to hear the roar of a lion in that voice.

[Wernher]

Germany weathered the storm with a smile. There was truth in what he said about daddy issues, and she was willing to recognize it. But when you spawn from the death of thousands of Frenchmen and spend your youth raised by someone as fucked up as Prussia, violent screaming is something you got used to. Right now Britain reminded her so much of her daddy. She remained silent for a moment but still dared to reply.

"Or what?"

...

There was a point in these simple words. Britain, as much as he wanted, couldn't do a thing alone, even with his colonies all he could touch were in his own words, miserable South-West African colonies. In continental affairs, Britain needed an ally willing to strike first. Oh how Germany just wanted to throw her head back and laugh! But that would be stepping down to Britain's level... well, his current level. Words were cheap, to waste them was wasting a free chance to better your situation. Britain should know that, he knew that before, when he back-stabbed everyone he possibly could to advance himself in any possible way.

"I'm sorry! Cultural differences and like you say in the most horrible way, my dad wasn't one to knock before entering, but... come on, Britain, I know we aren't in the best of terms but are you going to ditch me for France? After what he did to us?! Or... Russia?! I mean for the love of... Japan, how can you stand in the same room as the guy?! And Britain, what would our grand mother say if she saw us uh? Queen Victoria?" Indeed, Britain's royalty as as German as Germany's was British, witch was quite a lot. "What would your ancestors say about you defending a country where people speak french?! They'd laugh at you Britain, they'd..."

Germany dropped the act when she could see it did nothing but make Britain seethe silently, her sympathetic mannerism stopping but her smile remaining. He could see through her, she could tell. But hey, nothing lost. Sweet talking, promising things you don't even mean, Britain had written the book and Germany kept it close to her heart.

"I'll take my leave then... I guess I'll see you at the 'Colonial Scrapping Convention' Japan, not a whole lot of places left in the world for those who started the whole colonial race later down the line. And you America..." She stopped for a moment while looking at the eagle. Finally, she just had a laugh while shaking her head. "And they say I have daddy issues!" Ooooh yes, this was only the start Britain. Germany left in silence, confident she was the one who won the most today, despite how disastrous that had been.

[Dannyrulx]

Or what? Britain seethed. The 'or what' would be the death of her peoples, the razing of her cities and unmentionable things occuring to Erika herself, as she was well aware of. Britain himself might not be powerful, but all he had to do- and indeed had done, was send a few choice letters. Already, South Africa, India, the West Indies and Canada had replied to say that they would be sending men should war break out. Australia and New Zealand would likley be reciving the message as he fumed. If Germany wanted to play this game, the war would be over by Christmas.

"Excuse me Germany. France, if you happen to have forgotten, is one of my oldest friends, the closest thing I have to a wife, and despite our differences, is a thousand times the woman that you will ever be." He diplomatically decided to avoid the point that they were also technically blood relations due to their celtic heritage.

Finally, the accursed girl shut her stupid mouth. "I'm sure with Japan's excellent and historied," he put emphasis on the wors, mocking the fact that the only reason Germany's nilitary record was so good was because of her age "martial records, she should have no difficulties with her own rising sun empire."

When Germany left, he let out a sigh of relief. "I meant what I said. I'm getting my military uniform down and I swear to god I am going to kill that stupid uppity girl and see if a more civilised country springs from the ashes."