hurricane Irma is fake

[Luna_Maria]

it's all fake. it's a massive government conspiracy to get people to leave florida so the government can install short-range icbms that can be launched at cuba without being detected.

that's why there's a curfew... to prevent people who remain from seeing all the government trucks and massive transports that are putting the icbms in place

good luck cuba!

[Dinh AaronMk]

No! It's a ploy by Big Water in order to create the artificial conditions by which they can simply order the consumer to buy more water and drive up their profits! It's true because Comrade Rush Limbaugh of the American Liberation Army of Armchairs said so!

[Foster]

No, it's a ploy to sell new Kitchen-Gun.

Police said shooting the hurricane would cause the bullets to come back at hurricane velocities

Then someone in chat pointed out that hurricane velocites are kinda slow...

They'll only fly around at the same speed as the wind, which is insanely slow compared to the bullet's normal speed.
So really if you're close enough for the bullet to have a chance at hitting you, there is already a greater danger present.
That bullet won't kill you, just sting a bit.
The falling kitchen sink might do the trick tho

To which my response was obvious

After letting the idea ferment for a bit, has turned into a petition to arm all FEMA employees with kitchen-guns to speed up recovery-efforts.

[Seravee]