[OOC] My swimming instructors a dragon. [Mortim / Siaya Dragalorn]

[Riven Wight]

Sorry again. Got caught up in making Christmas gifts, then the last few days have been interesting with my insomnia. xD As a warning, it's likely going to be a bit crazy (in the best possible ways) because of the holidays and people coming to visit every other week. So exciting!

Alrighty! Saw that you put that the car started when reading through again to respond. Sorry for not noticing that! You'd think I'd learn to pay more attention. Thanks for the heads-up! Of course it's okay you wrote that up. As a GM, you're going to have to describe things that happen to other characters, including PCs. There's a difference between describing what happens to a character (like with what you have in that hider) and writing how that character feels about it or otherwise reacts to the experience(s). In this case, I don't know what Anora will see or experience when Darsby uses his powers, but you do! As a player, I'm reliant on my dear GM to describe the important, unknown parts of the world around my character. There will be times when all she can do is react to something without any chance of altering events, and others where her decisions can lead the story in different directions or make it take minor detours.

As an example, in a RP I GM, there was a scene in a forest where my partner's character reacted to something in a way I had not entirely expected, which led to a chain of events that made the character's lives more difficult than it would have been had her character reacted differently or if I had brushed it off and kept writing. It still got back on track to what my plot needed, even if the road to get there was different (and more arduous for the characters) than had initially been in my head. But that detour was a blast, and led to unintentional character bonding (in their own weird way), and even some foreshadowing that would not have happened if not for a fairly simple, unexpected reaction!

Moving on, then! To save time in affirming this your next post: so, it's not exactly a pleasant, painless experience for her, then? xD I assume you didn't write it out for me to put in my post this time, since Darsby is still outside the car in your last post, and that bit of info belongs to your post, not mine, in my opinion! So I'll have her address that after your response, and wrote for her like I normally would. That good with you?

Yessss. Can't wait to find out more! :-D

[Mortim]

I always appreciate you sending these bits of knowledge and experience my way! Writing skill means nothing if it's not used properly. I'm glad to be getting a little better at putting my ability to use in its proper channels whenever you have more to say.
I understand you feeling as though that last hider belongs in my post. I put it in there just in case you needed it for reference. Better safe than sorry.

Anora might feel some twangs of pain, pleasure, and a mixture of other emotions/sensations. You could liken the experience to her body being somehow harmlessly turned inside out and exposed to strong winds/pressures before being flipped back into itself and returned to total normality. There wouldn't be any lasting effects aside from perhaps empty lungs upon initial re-entry. Her hands, legs, and everything else will be exactly where they were before the magic is used.

We'll see if they catch up as fast as I suspect they might for you to find out ;D

[Riven Wight]

Some twangs and nothing lasting. Gotchya. Glad I asked. Writing suggestion, though, then, if that’s the case? And if it's not overstepping bounds or anything. Maybe think about watching the intensity of your wording. The way you have most things phrased indicate more than some simple twangs! “Maelstrom of nerve-based calamity”, “Light and heat splinter her innards,” “rivulets of ice pierce the entirety of what may have once been called her spine,” “before hell had overtaken them.” All words that incite the image of, “HOLY CRAP, I’M DYING!” to the unsuspecting soul! xD

Hope it's okay I posted before you got the second part of your post put up! Let me know if you decide to add it still? The site doesn't notify me of edits. Just new posts. And please, if I get overbearing or anything--be it in IC or OOC--don't hesitate to say anything.

Also, go us for making it to the second page!

[Mortim]

So, I get where you're coming from with the intensity thing. Here's the meta: that spell split her body into layers and tossed them as tendrils of smoke with sensory perception still intact through miles of space in a split second. Her insides were slammed quite literally with super-fast walls of cold atmospheric air and blistering sunlight, exposed nerves and all. She'd be cured of these sensations immediately upon reformation, but I think an inside-out body tossed at super-fast speeds through the sky may feel a good bit of pain. I get where you're coming from, I'll try to make these things more clear in my posts rather than getting lost in descriptors.

I definitely need to work on how convoluted my writing can become. Don't worry, I understand where to work on these things, for the most part, it's just old habits I'm slowly breaking at this point.

I think I'll actually add those pursuer things in my next post, so you're fine. I can add a bit of a time-skip since some small amount of it will have passed between posts. I wrote that reminder more for myself than for you lol xD

For real with the second page! I'm super happy and hope to pick things up a bit with future posts. I've been slow-burning things a little more than necessary I think.

[Riven Wight]

Oh! I'm so sorry for my misunderstanding! I managed to get confused between one post to the next. Heh. It's a small detail, really, but thank you so much for clarifying! I love that you have it thought up exactly how that works. Will help out on my end in the event of any future traveling like that!

Thanks for putting up with me! xD

Awesome. Glad it all works out, then. I imagine there wouldn't be too much of a time skip, though, would there? Between your last pursuer teaser and the end of my last post, maybe three, five minutes max passed in-story time, right? Ooh, unless time passed weirdly when they whooshed to a new place!

I'm not worried about the posting speed, was just congratulating us on getting to the second page! Twenty posts are a lot of posts, especially with the length we've been writing at. I imagine we have anywhere between 20,000 to 40,000 words on that first page alone, collectively! I've enjoyed it so far! I like writing longer posts. And am okay with waiting for posts, and feel like it's been quick-paced, story-wise.

[Mortim]

Of course! Please feel free to ask about anything when you have questions. I typically have things pretty well thought out once they've reached the page.

No worries. I appreciate you putting up with me as well! :3

Two-five minutes is a pretty long time all things considered. You'll come to find that this pair can occasionally be rather efficient. Besides, they're far away from us at the moment so things can be just a little wibbly worbbly.

We have done an awful lot of writing! It's been incredible. I've also recently really come to understand Darsby's backstory and character quite a bit better in recent days. I really appreciate you putting up with my occasional spurts of being missing. Had a lot of big life changes recently. I'll have a post up soon! :D

[Riven Wight]

I'll be sure to do just that! That's a good sign of a story teller/writer, there. ;-)

Timey wimey. You can't just not finish that quote. xD And gotchya!

Nothing to put up with. I do the same thing to you every now and again! Hope the changes weren't anything for the worse!

Could I possibly do a sorta time-skip in my next post and have Anora get her and Darsby to the mentioned farm? Or would they not make it that far? If you don't mind the time skip, do you have a preferred/needed time on how long it would take them to get there? I wrote one-two hours, but it could be less than one, as you see fit!

[Mortim]

Aww, thanks!

I know, I love that quote. It always feels fun for the mouth lol.

The changes were awesome, I've been working towards a healthier lifestyle and it's been miraculous.

You can totally do a time-skip, no worries. I don't plan on anything happening in between here and there so no worries at all. I'll let you know if things are going to heat up, otherwise, feel free to take liberties wherever. I've definitely put Darsby in Anora's care. He's rather defenseless at the moment.

[Riven Wight]

Doctor Who fan, then? :-) It's a fun show. My dad's obsessed with it. It's wonderful. xD

Oh! Fantastic, then! I'm really glad to hear that.

*Grins.* You realize, then, that you've given me free rein in a loner post, right? Brace yourself for a super long post.

By the way, I've only got those couple scenes with them, and I already like the characters tracking our guys. *Whispers,* Excitement and anticipation!

[Mortim]

Yes I love the show! I haven't been very into it in recent years but I did at one point recently binge some of the current seasons.

I'm totally excited for the post! I cant say I'll return in equal length but I am curious as to how she'll be reacting to Darsby going comatose lol.

Yeah I'm happy to use them to represent the primary magic control organisation affiliated with the United States. I wrote a short story about them years ago so when I found them lingering at the back of my mind I was more than overjoyed to throw them in. I gender-switched one of them here and I feel it was definitely a good decision. Feel free to guess which one lol.
I enjoy writing for them at the moment.

[Riven Wight]

Same. I've watched the newer ones up through Amy Pond's plot arc, I think, but just haven't really had enough interest to watch the rest. It's good, there're just so many other shows and hobbies I'm interested in right now.

Oh! I'm glad to hear that, then. :-) No worries about matching length. Write what you feel is necessary to the story! Hope you enjoy my mini novel.

That's awesome you wrote a short story about them once! It's always a good feeling when you can use old, random characters somewhere. Well, since I have a 50/50 chance... the horned huntress?

[Mortim]

I totally understand, that's been the story of my life these past couple of weeks. I haven't had a chance to watch more than 20-40 minutes of TV in what feels like ages.

I absolutely loved your post!! You always include details I feel like I personally would have missed entirely. I mean I know that just happens with different perspectives and writing styles, but it still is rather enchanting lol. I also feel like I know Anora quite a bit better at this point after reading all of that, which is certainly useful when inventing plot points ;3

Yeah it's been a good feeling.
You totally guessed it! I mean that character does stick out more for the time being, but I just feel so much better about them after the swap.

[Riven Wight]

Well, at least you've been keeping busy! Have you at least gotten some sort of downtime, I hope?

Oh! Thank you. ^.^ I appreciate that, and am thrilled you liked it! It gave me the chance to get a bit of a bitter feel for her as well. I look forward to experiencing those plot points alongside Anora!

I almost feel like I should apologize for the shorter post. xD It feels weird having a short one to write here after so many long posts.

Ha! Sweet. She struck me as the more interesting in a gender swap of the two. I like it. I'm quite enjoying your characters--and story--so far! :-)

[Mortim]

Yeah, I get some downtime, I suppose I just spend it away from TV these days.

It was really good! It might sound weird but that part where you listed off everything in her backpack was super clarifying for me when it comes to her as an individual lol.
I'm still certainly feeling out Darsby but he's coming together in my mind a bit more every time I post with him. The problem is that he's kind of shock over some things so he's hardly himself at the moment. He'll be gradually coming out of that and act more himself as we progress though. He might need a few things to toss him back into normality.

You don't need to at all, posts like that will happen whenever just conversation is occurring and I suspect we should both get comfortable with it for the future. It was a good post regardless.

They may end up coming into contact with our pair soon! We'll see, it should be interesting. I have no doubts it could make things a bit spicy lol.

[Riven Wight]

Glad you at least get downtime, then! What do you usually like to do in your time off/to yourself nowadays?

You can tell a lot about a person based on the contents of their backpack. ;-) I listed it all mostly so I had an actual inventory for her, and not one of those plot-hole-filler-bags that just happens to have something they need in the moment despite never being mentioned before.

Yeah, being hit with a car can do that to a person, I imagine. xD And that’s without his supernatural issues. Hope you can get a good feel for him soon! I know for me it can often take a bit longer when immediately tossing a character into action as opposed to having a bit more time with just them in normal-esque situations.

Oh, I know that! Close character interaction, like conversations--as you said--and fight scenes can get fairly short, depending on when you need to stop to wait to see how others respond. It still just feels so weird after 1,000+ words for like the past thirteen posts.

Ooh. I look forward to it!

[Mortim]

I cook, work out quite a bit, spend some time sketching and a good bit of the rest reading. I've been really into the whole self-improvement/taking-responsibility kick so it's been quite an enlightening past couple of weeks.

I can really appreciate that, it does set a lot of things into perspective and control.

Well, the problem is that his normal life differs to an immense degree from what most humans live. I won't spoil anything since you already know very little about him, but, let's say he might in some small way turn out to be quite different than you might expect. The car thing was certainly a good nudge in the right direction.

Also, I just want to say that I do enjoy the realistic image of Anora, you've done an excellent job of writing for her.

[Mortim]

Sorry for the wait there, the holidays have been a little stressful.

[Riven Wight]

No need to apologize! I completely understand. I wouldn't have been capable of responding any sooner than now, either, anyway. Holidays are like that. Did you have a good Christmas?

To respond to the other post (that I got too lazy to respond to earlier):
Sounds like a nice list of hobbies! What do you like sketching? And cooking always comes in handy. xD Hope the self-improvement attempt is still going well!

Ah, gotchya. I know Anora isn't quite sure what to make of the differences in him so far! Heh.

Aww! Well, thanks. I appreciate that. :-) I'm still loving your characters, your plot has me hooked, and your overall writing has improved greatly over such a short time period!

[Mortim]

Yeah, I'd like to apologize for being late again! It always feels like such a long wait for posts and then I end up taking six days or more myself lol. Hopefully, I didn't keep you waiting too long.

I'll try and post a picture or two of my sketches some time. It's mostly abstract stuff that starts at as realism. It doesn't look all that great though, its just fun to do while listening to music here and there. My favorite thing is sketching in this VR application I have on my computer. When I make a new video of one of my three-dimensional drawings I'll put the link on here.

She doesn't need to make anything of them lol, she hasn't even known him for a day. Realistically she won't have more than what her initial impressions yielded of him for a while. You've done a good job of that, I must say! :D

Well, the plot runs deep, and we're hardly even at the beginning of what I have roughly planned. I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far! I also greatly appreciate the compliment, your writing always does a good job of reminding of certain things I forget to put in or mention in previous posts. I have PLENTY left to learn of how to portray my tastes. xD

I wanted to mention, I really do enjoy the fact that you like to keep certain things like cursing and lewd scenes out of the RP. A lot of people rely on those to keep their story flowing and it's helped me to realize how unnecessary these things are the long term of a story to a higher degree than I once thought. Obviously, you know I won't keep out violence or nakedness out of things if they're necessary, but I know not to use these things as vehicles aside from the brief mention they require out of necessity for detail. Feel free to check me if I go too far, I kind of have a policy of going all out unless directed otherwise so know that you won't be offending me in the least over any corrections. I feel like you know this, but it doesn't hurt to say it again.

I hope I didn't control Anora at all in that last post. If I did, let me know! Darsby would have been moving kind of fast with everything so she might not have had time to interrupt too much of it. Just let me know if I need to edit anything! :D

[Riven Wight]

Whoa. Is that actually a post? From ME?



Quick! Take cover! It must be the end of the world! Seriously, though. Thanks so much for waiting. Took me longer than I thought to get back into the grove of writing. And stuff. Been an interesting week. But should settle down at least for a little while. *Knocks on wood.* If I spaced and contradicted any previous details, please, as always, let me know! It’s been a while... needless to say. I backread a couple posts, but knowing me, I probably missed at least one thing.

Hey, for the record, before my everything went out and I went hotel hopping, I had a post up within two days, thank you very much! And that was WITHOUT steady power! xD But I know what you mean. I always feel bad when you get a post up quickly and I take forever and a half to respond. Why can't life just let us write?

Ooh! That would be awesome. I’d consider it an honor to get to see your artwork! Even if you don’t think it’s “all that great.” Ooh, that’d be neat to see, a video of your three-dimensional drawings. Those sound like they’d take forever to do!

No, but she’s still trying to figure at least something about him out! No definitive opinion, of course, but trying to work on the start of forming one. :-) In real life, from the moment we meet people, are we not trying to get a read on them? Oh! Thanks! I appreciate that greatly.

Exactly. From what you’ve written so far, I can tell that there’s a heck of a lot of depth to it waiting to be explored. That’s part of what holds my interest about this! I’d say you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into this, and Darsby’s history. I mean, you’ve had Darsby comment on a couple things that hint at much deeper aspects, there’s the people he’s working for, the so-far mysterious Pan and why Darsby would need Anora to find him in the first place…

Every writer has plenty to learn, my friend! :-) That’s the thing about this craft. Writers are slaves to an art they can never master!

Oh! I really appreciate that. I know that that can annoy some people or even be a deal-breaker. So that means a lot to me. I’m thrilled that it’s helped you realize that!

As I believe I’ve said, violence likely won’t be a problem on my end. When I say I enjoy getting to write scenes where I can beat up my (or other’s, depending on situation) characters, I mean it! I'm probably more okay if my character(s) gets hurt than I should be. Especially if they do something stupid. PG-13 max on the presence of nakedness for me, though. Basically, important front bits covered. I’m more… squeamish, I guess, with that. Can’t say why for sure. Just am. I’ll be sure to do that if you do go too far for my tastes! And thanks for the reminder. Hope you don't mind me returning it with my own on the preference matter!

Nope, I don’t think you did. Just accounted for different options. And correctly figured Anora would follow. Also, I love that red-eye-guy’s companion used that loophole of walking on her hands. That’s just brilliant, that! xD Look out, Darsby and Anora! Might be time to really put your skills to the test!