[IC] Hooked on a Feeling

[Morose]

---

---

Guinevere Stark

---

---

Guin didn't want Lance to let go of her as her dad entered the room, but she didn't say anything, just nodding at Lance as he made his excuses and then left the room. She didn't really know what to say to Tony. She usually found it better to let him start these types of conversations and she couldn't help but feel like it was visitation time at rehab all over again, with her dad coming with a fake smile on his face to talk to her. She hugged her knees to her chest, not looking at him. "...You going to finish that sentence or just let it hang?" she muttered.

Back in the kitchen, Banner and Pepper had fallen silent by the time Lance would get there. Banner was just staring at Pepper, processing the information he had taken in. Between that and learning about Lance's depression - mostly Lance's depression - he had been snapped out of his anger. Instead, he was just filled with a crushing sadness. His son was suicidal and he hadn't known - he hadn't been there for him. Lance didn't have a Hulk to keep him from killing himself. Banner gulped, feeling like a mess of nerves as he looked at his son. "Lance, buddy..."

"Take a breather, Bruce. I think you two need this conversation to happen alone," Pepper interjected, before she left the kitchen, leaving Banner and Lance alone. Banner took another pause, thinking of how to start this again. "....Are you depressed?"

[BlueSky44]

---

---

Lance Banner

---

---

Tony hesitated, trying to figure out the words to say regarding what Banner had said. There wasn't going to be an easy way to talk about this, that much was obvious. He was grateful that Lance for the most part had recognized the fact that they needed to talk and left the room, though he didn't exactly envy him right then. Odds were that if Banner calmed, he'd talk to Lance about what had been said or whatever. "Alright... We need to talk about what was said back there..." he said, looking at her.

Lance was not too thrilled that Pepper had left the room. He did not want to be in the room alone with his dad, no matter what, especially after what had been said about Guin. Based on what Pepper had said, he figured that he had come up in the conversation, and when he heard Banner's words, he instantly knew what, and wished he could just disappear. "Whatever, not like any of it matters..." Lance muttered, not looking at his father. This was not a conversation he wanted to be having with him.

[Morose]

---

---

Guinevere Stark

---

---

"....A lot of stuff was said back there, you'll have to be more specific..." Guin mumbled, still not looking at him. Her hair had fallen forward and it was partially obscuring her face. However, Tony would be able to see that she was crying softly. She had been trying to be more emotionally honest, at least with herself, since rehab. But there were still occasions - more often than not, really - where she instead just clammed up. The alternative tended to be just lashing out and screaming at people. And then, a small percentage of the time, she could calmly discuss how she felt.

Banner sighed, his hands still shoved into his pockets but he looked up at his son. "...Of course it matters, Lance...I....I just want you to be happy and healthy...That's all I've ever wanted for you..." he said softly. He then looked back down at the ground, tensing up slightly in anticipation of his son screaming at him or pushing him away again. He figured that he would have messed up somehow with just that one honest attempt at repairing what was left of their relationship. He had several PhDs but none of them told him how to communicate properly with his son.

[BlueSky44]

---

---

Lance Banner

---

---

Tony let out another sigh, before he pulled Guin in for a hug. "Look, I know what Banner said upset you, hell I got into a shouting match with him about it after you and Lance left the room... Which he somehow remained calm and didn't turn into the Hulk during, which was surprising... Anyway, those things weren't true... I've never thought of you as an accident, as a mistake... I love you Penguin..."

Lance just shoved his hands deeper in his pockets, looking at the ground still, and not going closer to his father at all. "Look, I don't want to talk about it, alright? Leave me alone about it, it's nothing important, it doesn't matter..." he muttered, still not looking up at him. This entire thing was not his favorite thing to talk about, at all, and hoped that his dad would just drop the subject.

[Morose]

---

---

Guinevere Stark

---

---

"...Just because you never thought of me as a mistake doesn't mean it isn't true," Guin said quietly, but she moved a bit closer to her father. She knew everything that was said about her. Her father had put in a request to get her Wikipedia page locked, after all of the lies from Maddie that people put up on it. She sighed and hugged her dad back tightly, still crying a bit. "...I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up..." she mumbled. "I didn't want to disappoint you so much like this...You probably would have been happier if I wasn't born...You and Pepper could've had your own family...I just get in the way."

"Lance, buddy..." Banner sighed, looking at the ground. "Your feelings are always important...Of course it matters...If you...if you...if you want to....if you want to..." But Banner couldn't finish his sentence, holding his head as he stumbled a bit, feeling incredibly sick and stressed. He had no clue what he was doing and he doubted anything he said would actually help his son.

[BlueSky44]

---

---

Lance Banner

---

---

Tony held Guin, saying nothing for a few minutes. He was finding it hard to find the right words to say to Guin to make her feel better, but it was difficult. No matter what he said, he knew that Guin would blame herself or something like that. "Look, I don't think I'd be better off without you... I think you make me a better person, you and Pepper both do," he said with a smile, still holding onto her, "We all make mistakes, but we learn from them. You aren't a disappointment Guin..."

"No, they don't... My emotions and feelings have never mattered, now just leave me alone," Lance muttered, before he turned to head out of the room. He wasn't too great at talking about his emotions, much like his father, and when he was forced to confront them, he shut down, and didn't want to talk to anyone about them. So what if he had depression, a lot of people in the world did.

[Morose]

---

---

Guinevere Stark

---

---

Guin cried softly, thinking of what to say. It did mean a lot to her, hearing her father say that she wasn't a disappointment and that he essentially didn't regret her existence...but the words Banner had said still stung. They were things she believed, ones that contributed to her ending up in a rehab facility. She used to runaway all of the time, vanishing for as long as she could without someone finding her, all in an attempt to disappear. She thought it would have made her father's life better if she wasn't around. "...You're just saying that, Dad..."

Banner choked, stumbling forward as he went after his son. "They're the only thing that matters, Lance..." Banner mumbled, sobbing as he grabbed onto the door frame. He looked like he was about to be sick or something, fighting off a transformation into the Hulk not from anger but from deep and gnawing sadness. "You're the only thing that matters..."

[BlueSky44]

---

---

Lance Banner

---

---

"...No I'm not... You can think that all you want Guin, but everything I said is one hundred percent true... I love you Penguin, and you do make me a better person, really. My life is a whole lot better with you in it, no matter what you may think... Now... Aren't we here to have a vacation? We've only been in California for 24 hours, and already there have been a few big fights that have broken out. What do you say we go hit the theme parks?"

"Look, just leave me alone alright! That's what you're good at, leaving me alone, not even noticing me or anything!" Lance yelled, his hands starting to glow with a faint light. He turned away from Banner again, and just kept walking away, "No one would care if I was gone... Everyone would be better off if I didn't even exist!"

[Morose]

---

---

Guinevere Stark

---

---

Guin sniffled a bit, nodding. She had been looking forward to the California vacation, as she loved amusement parks. The feeling of the wind in her hair as the roller coasters went at top speed? It was exhilarating. When she was little, she used to close her eyes and imagine that she was flying. "I love you too, Dad...but...Banner is still going to look at me like some pathetic addict that no one wants around...and I know it shouldn't bother me but it does..."

Banner swallowed thickly, collapsing to the ground in the hallway as his legs gave out on him. "That's not true..." he mumbled, crying softly. He didn't have the strength to stand up and go after his son, instead falling silent as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a razor blade. He stared at it, knowing that the last time he had used it to make the pain go away, the Hulk had come out. "I'm not going to kill us, Hulk....Just need to bleed a little..." Banner mumbled to his other personality, cutting a neat horizontal line on his lower arm. It started to bleed and his head felt like it was swimming, but it wasn't helping as much as he wanted it to, so Banner made another cut.

"PUNY BANNER PATHETIC!" the Hulk roared, only his head appearing for a split second before it was Banner again. "Thanks for the reminder, Hulk....way to go...." Banner mumbled. He wished he could die.

[BlueSky44]

---

---

Lance Banner

---

---

"Yeah, well Banner has learned that he has his own problems to deal with, don't worry, it won't matter Guin. Don't even care about what he thinks, it isn't like he knows what to do half of the time anyway... Kind of wonder if Pepper is still out there with Banner, or if she left the room when Lance walked in... So, what sort of parks are we going to today?"

Lance heard his dad somewhat Hulk out. It was still weird, and somewhat unsettling, to see the Hulk only shift part way in control, it was so freaky. He was used to the Hulk showing up by now, main reason that for the most part, he tried to keep his temper down, but lately it had become a lot harder for him to do that, ever since he discovered his powers. Most days, it felt like he was looking for a reason to fight his dad, to fight the Hulk if he could. People constantly compared him to the Hulk, so he didn't really know what to do anymore.

[Morose]

---

---

Guinevere Stark

---

---

Guin nodded, sniffling a bit. She had to imagine that Pepper probably left the room, likely to get away from the second set of near identical personalities. She was practically a little Tony and Lance was a little Banner - only Lance wasn't an insensitive jerk. He just shared his father's emotional temperament. Plus, Lance's powers were way cooler. Yes, the angry green rage monster was epic in many ways, but Lance made free laser light shows possible on a daily basis! "Uh, well...I was going to say we could do Universal Studios today...Lance probably can't do House of Horrors but they've got a Jurassic Park ride that's fun...And it's pretty close to Los Angeles so you could take Pepper on a date or whatever..." Guin mumbled.

"PUNY BANNER SAD!" the Hulk taunted. Banner shook his head, holding it then in his hands and not caring that he was still bleeding lightly. Pepper wasn't anywhere around so only Lance would have been around to tell that Banner had hurt himself. If he hadn't been there with his son, he would have just jumped off a cliff and hoped he would have gotten lucky, that the Hulk might have been asleep for a few minutes and miss his attempt at suicide. But he never was that lucky. The luckiest he had ever been was when Tracey called and told him he had a son. And the unluckiest? When he learned he had missed the first twelve years of Lance's life.

[BlueSky44]

---

---

Lance Banner

---

---

"Ooh, that sounds like a good idea. Pepper was saying how I needed to take her out on a date or something. Universal it is then, I think you'll have fun... And what makes you think Lance wouldn't be able to handle the House of Horrors? Sure, probably couldn't handle a horror movie to save his life but still, he might be able to," he said with a laugh. He was glad that Guin seemed to be feeling better by now, at least enough so she was talking about something other than what had happened.

When Lance heard the Hulk again, he let out a sigh, turning to face his father. He saw the blood on Banner's wrists, and it made him yank down on his own sleeves slightly, hiding his own marks like that. Letting out a sigh, he walked closer, "Hey, Hulk... Leave him alone alright..." Lance said, looking at him. The fact that he had gotten used to this sort of thing was sad, but he couldn't really do anything about it. Yes, he wasn't to thrilled with his dad at the moment, and he was sometimes scared at how much they were alike, he wasn't going to let the Hulk bully him like that.

[Morose]

---

---

Guinevere Stark

---

---

"You should propose to Pepper before she realizes she can do better than you, Dad..." Guin mumbled, still clinging to her father. "And it's not that he can't handle House of Horrors....It's that House of Horrors couldn't handle him, he might blind everyone in there or something..." Guin added. Lance's powers were tied to his emotions and if House of Horrors scared him to death - as it rightfully should - then they'd be getting a free laser light show going on. However, Guin didn't know if she felt up to going to Universal Studios. Banner's words had definitely brought her mood down and she didn't really want to watch an awkward Banner try to find a new pouting corner at a crowded theme park. She just wanted to eat ice cream and watch Star Wars movies with her dad - despite marathoning them with Lance the night before. There was never such a thing as too much Star Wars.

"HULK BETTER!" the Hulk protested, looking at Lance. The Hulk persona still thought of Lance as his son and wouldn't knowingly do anything to hurt him. Banner coughed slightly, feeling sick from the constant changing back and forth. It was making his head spin and he shut his eyes, wishing that the Hulk would decide if he wanted to be in control already. His pulse kept spiking up and down as well, with the chemical environment in his body changing rapidly and constantly. "....Stay back, buddy..." Banner muttered weakly. He was trying to think of a term to explain what was happening and why he felt so weak, but the only one that came to mind was Hulk Whiplash. "PUNY BANNER DUMB! HULK SMARTER, STRONGER, FASTER!"

[BlueSky44]

---

---

Lance Banner

---

---

"...You going to be alright Penguin? Look, we should see about getting out of the house for a little while or something... Being in here for too long can drive you mad and something tells me you could use the fresh air of not having to be in the same building as Banner. Come on... It'll be alright, we can go to the park, maybe ditch the others or something, and just be the two of us..."

Lance let out another sigh, it wasn't like he wasn't used to this sort of thing. For some weird reason the Hulk thought that he was his father, and in some ways maybe that was true. As far as Lance was concerned, he effectively had two fathers, and neither one of them was really the best at the job, but he had to admit that "Puny Banner" was better than the Hulk. "Hulk, stop this right now, leave him alone alright?" Lance said, ignoring his father and walking towards him.

[Morose]

---

---

Guinevere Stark

---

---

"Dad, what park could we go to where people don't throw themselves at you?" Guin asked him, raising an eyebrow. He was famous before he became Iron Man and now, he was also a national hero - someone who saved the world on a regular basis. She also couldn't help but smile slightly though at the idea of going to a park with her dad. They didn't really do much that didn't involve tech in some way together, so as weird as the suggestion sounded...maybe it'd be a nice change of pace. She just hoped it wasn't code for dropping her off at a rehab facility or something. "But ditching Banner would be nice..."

The Hulk started laughing. "PUNY BANNER NEED SON!" he teased, trying to infer that Banner couldn't fight his own battles. He ended up laughing so much he shifted back into Banner fully, with the radiophysicist looking green from nausea rather than an impending transformation. He shook his head at Lance again, not certain that the Hulk wouldn't try something and he didn't want his son to get hurt. However, he instantly regretted the motion as just the simple movement caused him to slump to the side and fall over, sprawled out on the ground with his wrists just bleeding freely. An infection was the least of his potential problems. "Buddy, you gotta...gotta give me some space..." he mumbled, shaking a bit. He looked like he was about to puke.

[BlueSky44]

---

---

Lance Banner

---

---

"Figured you like that suggestion... You know we'll be recognized no matter where we go Guin... That is what we get for being us... Can't exactly do anything about it. So, want to go to Universal then? It'll be fun," he said, still smiling at her. The idea of them going someplace without being recognized would have been nice, but that was going to be impossible. He was way too well known of a figure in order to live a normal life like everyone else. No matter how much he might wish that for Guin.

Lance let out another sigh, just looking at his dad. "No, you don't tend to leave me alone, I'm not going to leave you alone," he said, walking closer to his dad. The Hulk was not someone he wanted to have to fight if he couldn't help it, but he would if he had to. "Are you okay?" Lance asked, looking at him. He was legitimately worried about his dad right then, especially if the Hulk was trying to take over.

[Morose]

---

---

Guinevere Stark

---

---

"You mean what you get for being you," Guin corrected. She wasn't nearly as famous as her father. While he was always stopped on the street when he was out, Guin had about a fifty fifty chance of being recognized lately and that was purely because of all the press the Stark Expo had gotten. The incident involving Hammer Industries had caused Lance and Guin to become easily recognizable to anyone that looked at the news in the last few months. However, she wasn't too sure also if they should really go by themselves. As much as she wanted to spend time with her dad alone, she was worried about Lance. "Should we bring Lance with us?" Guin then asked Tony.

Banner threw up a little, sweating profusely. "J-just....n-not feeling so hot...too many switches with Hulk in a short period of time..." he mumbled, gripping the wall as he tried to get to his feet. He really didn't want to be lying in a pool of his own vomit, but his entire body was shaking. He could practically hear the Hulk taunting him about how puny and scrawny he was. The Hulk even claimed that Banner was the dumb one, a fact that surprisingly succeeded in wounding Banner's pride. He was the dumb one - the Hulk seemed to have a better relationship with Lance than he did.

[BlueSky44]

---

---

Lance Banner

---

---

"Alright, you've got a point there... I'm the recognizable one," he said with a laugh, before he stood up and offered her his hand to help her to stand. "Sure, if you want him to, we can invite Lance to come with us, don't think he's been to the theme parks really. Your choice ultimately though," he continued, still smiling.

Lance just shook his head with a sigh, as he walked over to help his dad off the ground. "Yeah, I got that... The Hulk clearly is not a happy camper and needs to stay away for a little while or something," he said, helping Banner over to a couch to sit down. He was used to this sort of thing, it did happen way more often than he'd want it to, but that couldn't be helped. He was still debating about whether or not to flat out say that he preferred Banner to the Hulk.

[Morose]

---

---

Guinevere Stark

---

---

Guin took her father's hand as she got up, drying her eyes a bit again. They were a bit red and puffy from crying. "Do you ever wish you weren't famous, Dad?" Guin asked him. She also was still conflicted as to whether or not they should bring Lance along. Part of her wanted to be selfish and spend time with her dad alone. But she also wanted to be there for her best friend and knew that Lance could definitely benefit from time away from Banner. "Let's ask Lance if he wants to come with us..."

Banner looked at the ground with shame as Lance helped him onto a couch. It wasn't supposed to be like this, the kid taking care of the parent. Sure, he didn't have the greatest childhood experience when it came to parents, but he knew enough. Lance shouldn't have to be helping his father off of the ground and shouting at the Hulk to leave him alone. He should've been like any other kid, accidentally blowing things up with poorly designed experiments and smiling the entire time. It was a horrifying realization he once had had, that when his life finally got something a little normal, he ended up taking away any bit of normalcy that Lance could have possibly ever had. Banner reached into his pocket, grabbing the razor as he ran it up against the skin of his hand. "HULK BEST CAMPER!" the Hulk roared, tossing the razor away from Banner before Banner was back in control again.

"I-I-I-I c-can't f-fight him off, b-buddy...j-just go b-before you get h-hurt..." Banner muttered, vomiting a bit again. He looked like death. He was so weak from all of the switching that whenever the Hulk fancied he had something he wanted to say, it wasn't hard at all for him to take control away from Dr. Banner.

[BlueSky44]

---

---

Lance Banner

---

---

"Yeah, sometimes I do, but mainly I wish it for you... So you could have a somewhat normal childhood, but sometimes I wonder if that would be better or not... Anyway, let's go find Lance and see if he wants to come with us," he said with a smile. He knew that both of the kids could benefit from getting out of the house, and away from Banner somewhat. He knew that Banner knew that too, but they both tried not to admit it to one another.

"Shut up Hulk, I prefer Puny Banner thank you," Lance muttered, hoping the Hulk was paying attention to what he was saying, though based on what he had said before, he was pretty sure the Hulk was listening. "Not going away, I'm not scared of him... Honestly I'm used to him popping up, thought you'd know that by now..." he mumbled, not moving from where he was standing. Lance just looked at his dad, saying nothing.