Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Frizan
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Frizan Free From This Backwater Hellsite

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Gratis

Voting and Critique




Welcome to another round of voting!

I encourage everyone that cares about the Contests(and if you don't already, I encourage you to begin now) to read through all of the wonderful entries submitted in the past two weeks, and cast their vote for their favorite! The submission with the most votes will be posted in a stickied "Trophy Case" thread where it will be displayed for all to see, and its author added to the list of Meritorious Writers at the very top!

Of course, this thread is also for critiquing. Note I said critiquing, not shitslinging. Constructive criticism only, please. Feel free to go through any one or all of the entries and give your two cents in helping your fellow writers improve! Those that have entered this contest are absolutely allowed to critique each others' works, contestants can absolutely vote, though not for their own, obviously.

Needless to say, using multiple accounts to vote more than once is NOT ALLOWED, and if an author uses alts to vote for their own work, they will be disqualified on the spot and disbarred from entering any future Contests.

Please vote based on the merits of the work, not for the sake of a clique or just because the author happens to be your friend. And mostly certainly do not attempt to have an author falsely disqualified because you don't happen to like them, because I'll fucking find out and it won't be pretty.



by @Briza

by @SleepingSilence
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by BrokenPromise
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BrokenPromise With Rightious Hands

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No reviews this time. It seems pointless when there's only two entries. However, I'll freely expand on my observations on request.

Both of these entries are about as different as they could possibly be. Good Samaritan is short while The Wanderer is long. Good Samaritan is first person while The Wanderer was third person. Good Samaritan is a feel good story while The Wanderer aims to be really sad.

In line with this, Good Samaritan is much more carefully written than The Wanderer. The grammar and structure is really tight, and while it's short, there's no paragraph in The wanderer that reads quite as neatly as Good Samaritan.

@Briza gets my vote.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by SleepingSilence
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SleepingSilence OC, Plz No Stealz.

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@Briza Preemptive congrats on your win. Call me Nostradamus. :P

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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Loksfjoer
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Loksfjoer Lucky flame

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You'd think that with 2 entries it would be easy to vote, right? Right.

I liked both entries, but since only one can get a vote, I'm giving mine to SleepingSilence, which doesn't help at all to get a winner from this and I apologise for that. Maybe Frizan can be the tiebreaker.

I'm going in a little more detail. The first time I read through the stories, I have to admit I was more drawn to Briza's entry, it was short and cute and well written. But reading through the story a second time, I started to appreciate The Wanderer more.





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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Briza
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Briza

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Hey, Ra-Ra-Re-Bop! Thank you very much for the critique and of course, the preemptive private message pointing out all the flaws, you noticed in the entry, @SleepingSilence. It is very appreciated, but in the words of Wes Anderson's rendition of Fantastic Mr. Fox, I am gunna ignore your advice (mostly).

Mostly coming in terms of, the title misspelling is fairly embarrassing, but at least, in Bryzantium, the title has the correct spelling. Although, Bryzantium has quite a few grammatical errors in other parts that need correcting...





Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Frizan
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Frizan Free From This Backwater Hellsite

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It was definitely a tough choice between the two entries, but a tiebreaker vote had to be cast. There is not much I can say about either entry that hasn't already been said, but I believe that Briza hit the mark on what I was aiming for as far as theme and tone goes. It was short, yes, and a bit cliched, but the snapshot of two people, despite being so far away from each other in wealth and class, sharing a moment of understanding and acceptance made me warm and fuzzy inside. While initially the nobleman had some rather off-putting inner thoughts("A man of my honor had no need for a lady, nor a used one at that."), he quickly became quite a warm character, showing care for the woman and her child, eventually going so far as to invite the two to dinner. The woman in the story had a hard time talking clearly, but that on top of her gratitude towards the strange man who was obviously several leagues above her own class(a rich man whom she, if real-world social dynamics are in place in this story, would have plenty of reasons to despise) made her endearing. We do not know what happens after the story ends, but I am sure the nobleman spent much more time with the young woman and her little boy, as he seems predominantly a good soul on the inside.

SleepingSilence's story still deserves much praise. I liked the choice of giving the characters titles instead of names. It gives a very quick description of each character and their personalities without having to spend pages explaining their nuances. The entry is general is very well written, with good detail in the scenes. It was easy for me to imagine the setting of each part of the story. Overall the The Wanderer On Wilhelmsvale Trail was a good read but it had a bittersweet taste, which wasn't entirely what I was going for. I understand and appreciate the overall message, expressed through the ending song, but it just didn't flicker a fire in my heart, so to speak.

Well done to both of you! Like I said it was very hard to vote either way, and I loathe being a tiebreaker as the official holder of the contests as I fear my own biases, but I also wish to stray from repeated instances of multi-winner situations.
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