[IC] Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

[Rogue Sloth]

Caspian rolled his eyes in disbelief when Iris backpedaled to say that she didn’t actually think he was harmless. He was sure she was just trying to make him feel better about it. Whether he liked it or not, that was the impression he’d made on her, so if he wanted to change it, he was just going to have to try harder at living up to the reputation he preferred to make for himself. He felt like he was making a decent start at it lately. How many spoiled high borns could say they’d survived a fight against a psychotic man with a knife? Or escaped from a collapsing building in the middle of a war? Even though those were pretty much the only two things he could add to his short list of badassery, he felt like they were achievements he could be proud of.

“You didn’t do that to get my attention,” he laughed when she claimed that her mishap with the bear trap had been the awkward thing she’d done for him. “I don’t think it counts when you were on your way to assassinate me either. Nice try, Slick.” It was almost funny how easily the words flowed off his tongue. Most people probably would have thought he was crazy for falling for the woman who’d been sent by the rebellion to kill him, but it had happened so naturally that he couldn’t help himself. Plus, after seeing the way her father and ex-boyfriend had been treating her, he knew she hadn’t actually wanted to kill him. He couldn’t hold it against her when she’d been coerced into coming to the capital in the first place. It didn’t feel right to even try.

Noticing that they were approaching the gate that would carry them into the next district, he looked straight ahead, trying to see if the buildings that laid beyond were in better condition than Bel Bicis. Since they were getting a little closer to the capital, he was optimistic that the area wouldn’t have seen quite as many battles as the ones closer to the outer edges of the country. He didn’t have much of a chance to look though, as he was soon distracted when he noticed that Iris had stopped walking along at his side.

Turning toward her, he stared for a moment, mesmerized by the way the yellow glow of the street lights reflected in her blue eyes. When she leaned in to kiss him, he met her halfway, closing his own dark brown eyes as he pressed his lips against hers. He was mildly surprised by her initiative, but it was a good surprise. His arms slipped around the small of her back as they kissed, and he pulled her closer to himself. Every time they closed the distance between them, it felt like they were the only two people in the world. He was reminded again that he’d made the right decision when he’d chosen to be with her instead of push her away just because it was easier.

After a bit—he lost track of how much time had passed—Cas pulled back from her lips to breathe. “Okay, I give. If that’s how you want me to repay you, I’ll do it as much as you want,” he grinned at her dazedly, trailing his fingers through her long, blonde hair while he held her close with his other hand.

[sukikyoufu]

Even though his words were in jest Iris felt the pang of guilt hit her, that she had been there to assassinate him. That was the ulterior motive behind it all and what had gotten them into this mess in the first place. It was hard to just let it go because she still felt a deep regret for what she had caused, and she doubted it would just go away. Deep down she knew she’d focus on this for a while no matter who told her or said it was okay because ultimately it wasn’t to her, she was not okay with what she had done and the choices that she had made.

Though all thoughts were pushed aside when she had enjoyed the kiss, she had stolen from him, the fact it was so natural how they would just come together, and it could make her forget about anything. The way his arms would slip around her and hold her close was a feeling she never wanted to lose and already she knew she was getting far too attached. A part of her didn’t want too just in case they were forced apart, but right now all she could think of was the way he would kiss her, the way he would hold her whilst they shared a moment together.

“You repay me? I think you’ll find I’m still in your debt.” Iris chuckled smiling up at him glancing down at the fingers that were playing with her hair, “I think I need to find out how to repay you.” Shaking her head at him she reached up and took his hand once more as she turned towards Eulmore excited about finding them some proper shelter for the night.

Walking towards the gate she could feel her stomach squirm, hopes of it being okay and in better condition than Bel Bicis. Smiling to herself as they walked through the gates with no ease, they were met with a town still standing, lights were on and people were going about their day. Well people looked terrified as they went about their day but none the less this town was still standing which meant they could get some shelter. Avoiding eye contact just in case there were rebels hidden amongst the crowd she walked on through the streets, eyes looking for somewhere they could stay. Even if it was just a room for the night it was better than being on the streets, seeing as this town was full of people she doubted that there was an abandoned apartment like they had stumbled across in Bel Bicis.

Catching site of a pub she knew often some of them had rooms to rent for those that travelled through the districts, Maisie had given them some money so perhaps it was time to make use of that. At least with the pub they could get some food and a somewhat comfortable bed for the night, so it was worth a shot. “This way.” Leading Cas to the pub that had lights on and music playing she opened the door greeted by a lively crowd who were all drinking and chatting amongst themselves. Making her way to the bar she caught sight of the barman who was wiping a glass looking up to serve them.

“What will it be for ya?”

“I don’t suppose you have a room for the night?” Iris smiled as she leaned against the bar, acting natural just in case there was anyone listening in to their conversation.

“Aye, you’re lucky. I have one left. This whole disaster with the Bel Bicis has cause a massive influx. Although I’m grateful for the income I’m disgusted they would do that to those poor people. Bunch of pompous pricks. Selfish pigs if ya ask me.” The bar tender spat at the floor as if he was spitting on the Capital itself.

[Rogue Sloth]

“Why don’t we just call it even?” Cas suggested with an amused shake of his head. He had a feeling that if they left the debate about who owed whom open-ended, they would just keep arguing about it forever. She seemed to feel like she could never repay him for the night he’d found her in the forest and brought her to the hospital. However, he felt like she’d done more than enough to make up for that when she’d helped him escape from her father’s basement. If anyone was in debt, it was him, since she was sneaking him back to the capital—assuming he would still go back—at the risk of getting in trouble with the rebellion. He knew she would just fight him on it if he said so though, so it was easier to pretend like he didn’t think she had done more for him by asking to meet her in the middle ground.

It was also a better alternative than letting his tongue slip about the ways he’d thought of for her to repay him while he was still feeling a little warm after kissing her. He reddened slightly, mentally chiding himself for the salacious ideas, though he didn’t have very much control over where his mind went when he indulged himself with her lips. He was just glad he had the tact not to say it out loud, especially since he didn’t want to give her the impression that he was trying to race toward anything more than what they had already been doing. Primal desires aside, he was rational enough to know that now was neither the time nor the place for anything like that.

So, he buried the fleeting thought as she took him by the hand and fell in step beside her as she led him through the gate to Eulmore. As soon as they passed through, he saw that this district was in much better condition than the one they had just left. The town looked relatively untouched by the war, and there plenty of people milling about the streets. The sight was equally as relieving as it was unnerving. He was glad that they seemed to have a decent chance of finding a place to stay for the night, but at the same time, he was worried about being recognized by a member of the Scourge. Trying to keep his head down in the presence of so many other people, he pulled his hood over his head as he followed Iris toward a nearby building.

The place she was headed to looked lively. It was bustling with activity, almost reminding him of the capital with its high energy. To his surprise, he felt a pang of homesickness as they walked toward the door. Even though he’d been hurt by the apparent lack of care by his friends and family, the pain didn’t stop him from missing the place he’d lived for his entire life. The realization made him wonder if he really could bring himself to leave without turning back. High born life was more deeply ingrained in him than he’d thought.

Putting the thought aside for now, he tucked his chin slightly as he and Iris strode through the pub, tense with worry that someone would recognize him. To his surprise, however, none of the men and women who glanced in his direction reacted to the sight of his face. It seemed like they didn’t know who he was. Maybe people out here don’t pay attention to my family like people of the capital do, he realized. If they didn’t know what he looked like, it would be easier for him to blend in.

Hoping his theory was right, he looked up while Iris spoke with the barkeep about staying in a room for the night. Despite the man’s crude words about the Aspirian military, Cas was happy to hear that there was a room available that they could use. He fought the urge to wrinkle his nose when the bartender spat on the floor, disgusted by the way he so carelessly contaminated a place where people ate but wisely keeping his contempt to himself. This isn’t the capital, he reminded himself. People do things differently out here. If he hadn’t been so enticed by the scent of fresh food, he might have lost his appetite, but he was too hungry to be completely deterred by the man’s unhygienic habit.

“Do we have enough money to buy something to eat?” he asked, leaning closer to Iris to keep his voice down. They still had food left in the backpack he was carrying, but now that they were taking their time to get back to the capital, he wasn’t sure if they had enough to supply them the entire time they were on the run. Besides that, his empty stomach twisted desperately at the prospect of eating something other than stale bread and canned stuff.

[sukikyoufu]

Glancing back as Cas spoke about having enough money to eat she considered the idea, it would be a bit of dent in the money they had and she didn’t know how long they were going to be out here for now. Especially considering the fact she wasn’t sure if Cas even wanted to go home anymore so they had to be careful, she didn’t want their resources running out so soon. “I’ll see what I can do.” Whispering to Cas before turning her attention back to the barman who was still wiping the same glass with a dirty rag. Smiling as she pulled out a handle of coins, she placed them on the table with a grin, “I tell you what I can offer you this for a room for the night and two meals?”

Snorting at the offer of the coin the barman laughed shaking his head, “Aye you’re a cheeky wee lass. You and I both know that is quite the under payment…”

“Well I thought I’d try my chances, but I don’t have much. We had to flee quite quickly from the latest drop of bombs. I’m hoping I can get us back to my parents a couple of districts over.” Iris sighed looking down at the couple of coins she had placed on the counter.

“I suppose it’s yer lucky day then, I’m running a discount right now considering everything.” The barman shook his head as he grabbed the coin and turned his back on them moving into the back room that led off of the bar. It had taken a couple of minutes, but he returned dropping a worn copper key and two brown bags onto the counter. “Here, ya need to be out by ten in the morning morrow’. Just post the key through the door room number 12 and it’s not much cause I’ve not got many wares left but in those bags are some sandwiches and water for ya both. Stairs are to the right just through there. Music may keep ya up, but it’s better than nought.” Grinning as he gave them a thumbs up, he had a kind soul and knew that due to everything not many had much to spare so he was trying to do his bit to help.

“You have no idea how much this means to us. Thank you.” Iris smiled glad they had taken the chance here; the barman was kind and it meant that they could have something to eat and a safe place to rest.

“Now don’t you be getting up to no good, ya hear me.” The barman winked at Cas before he returned back to his glass content with the payment. Right now, his bar was currently booming so helping out the odd person here and there wouldn’t bankrupt him. Not yet at least.

Grabbing the brown paper bags, she walked through the bar of people careful not to draw too much attention just in case there were members of the rebellion drinking in here. Keeping the smile on her face acting natural as they danced around the tables and people making there way to the stairs to head up to the room that was above the rather loud pub. Iris could feel her feet sticking to the floor as they walked and as she caught sight of the stairs she could see how steep and unsteady they looked. Taking a few steps she could hear the creak of the floorboards but she began to climb up them using the banister to keep her balance, the lighting was dim but she could see enough to see the hallway upstairs and numbers on the doors.

“Right, let’s see here.” Narrowing her eyes as she looked at the numbers, she caught sight of the number twelve and smiled using the key to open it. The room itself was simple, it had a bed, desk, window and even a separate area with the toilet and a shower. It was modest, not the most stunning five-star places but it was good enough for them for the evening.

[Rogue Sloth]

Cas nodded and stood back, hoping Iris knew what she was doing when she said she would see what she could do for them. If it was too much, he was willing to eat some of the food they’d brought with them, but privately, he hoped she would be able to get them something to eat despite their small reserve of cash. Staying in a pub without taking advantage of the house-made food would have been quite a waste. It certainly wasn’t something he had done before either. Although I’ve never been broke enough to pass up the chance to eat out before, he thought with a frown, understanding just how far removed he was from the citizens of the country beyond the capital. Whenever he’d wanted to buy something in the past, he’d always been able to do so without even thinking about how much money he had in his bank account. Now, knowing that Maisie had only given them a few credits to scrape by, he was hyper aware of how cautious they had to be whenever they spent any of it. It was a stressful feeling.

Fortunately, the man behind the counter took pity on them. The prince felt a bit guilty that they had to lie to him, since he was so kind to them in return, but it wasn’t like they had a choice. The most he could do was try to repay him and the other people of Aspiria as a whole later on by figuring out how to solve the wealth divide that plagued the nation—if he returned to the capital, that was. The bartender and Maisie had both been unconditionally hospitable, so he didn’t want to move on without doing something for them in return. They deserved to be rewarded for their big hearts and selflessness.

When Iris thanked the man for his generosity, Caspian did as well, murmuring his own appreciation as he stared in amazement at the bags of food he’d brought out for them despite their inability to pay for it. In the capital, no business owners were that benevolent. However, he didn’t dwell on it for long before the barkeep’s next words made him falter. The suggestive wink the man gave him made him twinge pink. He doesn’t mean…? He studied his face for a moment as he pondered over the odd warning. No, there’s no way. A stranger wouldn’t get involved in someone else’s love life, right? He was probably just advising us to treat the room well. He knew that young people often mistreated their hotel rooms whenever they spent a night out, so he decided that must have been what the man was talking about. At the very least, it was a more comfortable conclusion than the alternative.

Running with the thought, he offered the barkeep a smile. “Don’t worry, we’ll leave the room just as we found it after we’re done using it,” he assured him. Turning around to follow Iris back though the crowded room, it took until they reached the base of the stairs before he realized how his words might have sounded. Well, shit, he cringed, hoping sincerely that the barkeep really had been talking about the quality of the room they were borrowing and not about what they would do while they were spending the night. If he’d been wrong, he’d just accidentally implied that they wouldn’t only be sleeping while they were there.

Silently collapsing in on himself in embarrassment over his bad habit of speaking before he thought through his words, he kept quiet until he and Iris arrived at their room. As he stepped inside, he took a look around. It was homely, but it was much better than sleeping on the open ground. And since there was a bathroom, he could take another shower before they left. Overall, it was the best kind of shelter they could have hoped for.

“It’s a good thing your fever broke,” he mused, unzipping his hoodie and sliding it off his back now that he didn’t need it anymore. “This place is great.” He could feel the music from downstairs pulsing in the floorboards beneath his feet, but it was a very minor downside in comparison with the perks that came with rooming at the pub. His eyes wandered to the bed. When he was younger, he’d fantasized about the thought of sneaking off to a hotel room to spend the night alone with a girl, but he’d never thought it would happen because he was on the run from a group of people who wanted to kill him—or that they would actually just be there to sleep.

What a twist, he thought, turning back to Iris. “I’ll take one of those,” he said, slipping one of the paper bags from her hand. “Do you want to sit in the desk chair or on the bed while we eat? I’ll take whichever one you don’t want.”

[sukikyoufu]

“I’m so glad it did. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise.” Iris smiled softly trying to hide the blush on her cheeks from his outburst to the barkeep as she moved to the desk letting him take the bed to eat. As she settled herself down on the dark wooden chair, she heard it creak as she took a seat which only signalled it was quite old. The sounds however would not be heard simply because the music pulsated through the floorboards, it was a great way of soundproofing seeing as there was no way there would be the right materials to soundproof the bar so loud music was a good alternative option. Though she was complaining at all, this was a lot better than being on the streets, in some ways it was better kept than her home. I guess this is because it’s a slightly better off district…

Trying not to dwell on the thought she rummaged in the other paper bag pulling out a sandwich, it looked far fresher than anything they had eaten recently, and she could have sworn she saw some lettuce in there. Not caring too much on what type of food was in the sandwich she was just grateful for the food and it hadn’t come at any extra cost to them. “Sometimes you just have to be confident. It goes a long way in these parts. If you’re just the right amount of cheeky with confidence they will let it slide or help. I’m just glad we have somewhere to sleep for the night that has running water.”

Taking a hold of the sandwich she took a few bites enjoying the fact it was fairly decent, sure it paled in comparison to the stuff she had eaten in his home but this was pretty good considering they were in a poorer district. Though the barman was probably raking in a fair amount from the destruction and she could only imagine the type of people that were staying around them with no homes to go back too. It wasn’t the most cheerful of thoughts, but she couldn’t help but ponder on them as she chewed at her sandwich leaning back on the wooden chair, she had chosen to rest in.

After a few minutes she had devoured her food, after not eating much due to being sick she hadn’t realised just how hungry she had been. Now on the clear path to recovery she was glad he had prompted her to get some food as she was certain whatever they had in the bag would not have satisfied her. “I know I’m going to feel much better sleeping knowing we can lock the door. It means we can both get some decent rest finally.” Although they had stayed at Maisies she hadn’t slept very well whilst being there, but that was because the guilt was at its worst then after just having escaped and betrayed her father.

“I hope you don’t snore.” Smirking slightly as she teased him from the desk, hand reaching back into the bag pulling out the bottle of water they had both been given to accompany their sandwich.

[Rogue Sloth]

“Or just a blessing,” Cas added, setting the backpack down by the side of the bed along with his discarded hoodie. He kicked off his shoes as well before making himself comfortable on the mattress, leaning back against the headboard and crossing his legs. Upon opening the bag of goodies he’d taken, he went for the bottle of water first, parched after their long walk they’d had to get to Eulmore. He downed almost half of it while Iris talked about how far confidence could get someone. That was a truth he’d learned throughout his life too. Growing up in a heavily political environment, he’d had to teach himself how to put on a sure face even when he wasn’t secure in his abilities. It was a necessary skill, according to his father, since no one would take him seriously as a king if he didn’t seem like he knew what he was doing. He thought it was a useful tool, but sometimes it was exhausting to pretend like he was more self-assured than he really was.

“Me too,” he agreed with her statement about the running water. “It’ll be nice to wash off all the grit from the last district.” Capping the bottle, he set it down by his hip as he took out the sandwich to eat next. Ever since they’d laid on the street during the bombing, he had been covered in a thin layer of dust and ash. A lot of it had fallen off his skin and clothes as they’d walked, but he still felt dirty. The shower he’d taken at Maisie’s apartment hadn’t lasted nearly long enough, so he was thankful that he had a second chance to scrub off the grime of traveling through a warzone before they moved on to the next district.

Falling quiet for a moment, he focused on filling his stomach with the fresh food the bartender had given them. It may not have been of the same quality as the meals he’d been spoiled with in the capital, but it was a major step up from the questionable fares in the backpack. In a matter of minutes, he’d devoured it ravenously and was chasing the small meal with what was left of his water. With a full belly and a roof over his head, he anticipated that he was going to sleep well that night.

Apparently Iris had the same thought when she spoke about being able to lock the door. “Did you not get decent rest at Maisie’s place?” he asked, turning toward her with a frown after he balled up the empty paper bag and tossed it in the wastebasket. Even sleeping on the sofa, he’d felt well-rested when he’d woken up in the morning. He’d noticed that she had seemed tired before they’d left Tongsen, but he had assumed her lethargy was because of her fever. The possibility that she hadn’t slept well hadn’t crossed his mind.

At her last comment, he rolled his eyes. “Not unless it’s springtime allergy season,” he replied. “Although you should already know that I’m not a snorer, since you weren’t that far away from me when we were sleeping in the bunker.” He tossed his empty water bottle into the wastebasket too. “Do you want to take a shower tonight or tomorrow? I was thinking about washing up before I go to bed, but you can go first if you’d like. I don’t mind waiting a little longer.”

[sukikyoufu]

“I agree, I can’t wait to shower and feel clean again.” Iris chuckled to herself as she screwed up her empty rubbish and chucked it into the waste basket. Iris was feeling much better now she had eaten and had a full stomach, she also felt a little bit safer and wasn’t battling a fever which was definitely a positive. It meant that she could enjoy getting some sleep and have time to think of a plan for them going forward. Well the plan would depend on how Cas was feeling and what he wanted to do, it was his decision on if he wanted to go back to the Capital or not.

Hearing his next question, she fell silent cringing slightly, “Ah no. Not really if I’m honest. I was so wrapped up in everything that had just happened. My mind was all over the place.” Sighing softly as she rubbed the back of her head feeling a bit strange to admit it, especially as on the night she had told him she had been fine. It probably wasn’t convincing at all because she could recall that night and how distracted she had been. “It still is a little, but I’m more okay now than I was.”

Not wanting to dwell on the subject she grinned as she caught him roll his eyes, “Well I guess you didn’t snore then, but I was too busy making sure no one snuck up on us.” Glancing towards the small shower room she was tempted to go, he had offered for her to go first and it was very tempting the offer. “If you don’t mind. I think I will take you up on that offer. I’ll shower first and then you can use it.” Standing herself back up she opened the door to take a peek into the bathroom thankful that there were towels in there for use, it seemed there was enough for the both of them which was great. It certainly made things easier.

Happy that she knew some towels were in the bathroom she shuffled back inside the room and smiled over at Cas, “I won’t take long. No peeking.” Although the moment the words left her lips, she felt her face heat up and quickly she moved inside the bathroom already cursing herself for saying such a thing. Of course, he wouldn’t peak, why would you say that!? How embarrassing… what an idiot. He must think I’m such an idiot too. I can’t believe I just said that. Feeling her heart race as she looked at the shower thankful, she could hide in here after her embarrassing blunder.

Sighing to herself she reached out to the shower and turned on the tap smiling as she could see the water running. It wasn’t the best of streams, but it was enough to clean herself up. Placing her hand just under the water she waited a few minutes feeling it warm up, again just like at Maisies it wasn’t hot but it was a comfortable temperature at least.

[Rogue Sloth]

When Iris admitted that she hadn’t slept well at Maisie’s apartment, Cas recalled how upset she’d been the evening before. He still didn’t know entirely what had caused her to be so distressed, but he wasn’t surprised to find out that whatever it was had kept her up all night. The thought of her tossing and turning, then soldiering on even after she had developed a fever brought a frown to his lips. As he got to know her better, he was starting to realize that she was terrible at taking care of herself. He was going to have to pay closer attention to her when they kept moving just in case she ended up trying to neglect her wellbeing again. He didn’t want to see her get hurt because she was too stubborn to rest when her body needed a break.

“Well, if you need someone to talk to, you can come to me,” he offered, stretching his legs out on the bed as his weariness began to creep over him a bit more. “And… I’m sorry I didn’t do more to help you when we were staying with Maisie. Back then, I was still trying not to get too close to you, so I thought it would be better for your friend to be your shoulder to cry on rather than me. If I ever made you feel like I didn’t care about you, I promise that wasn’t my intention. I care about you more than most people, Iris.” As he made the confession, he felt his face grow warm. Even though it was true, it was still a pretty big truth to admit. He hoped she would take it in a positive way and not assume he was moving too quickly.

At her following jest about making sure no one had snuck up on them while they were staying in the bomb shelter, he snorted. He knew she was just trying to cover her ass by pretending like she’d been a vigilant guard. It was more likely, in his opinion, that she had slept too deeply to find out one way or the other. “Right,” he drawled in disbelief. “If you’re so busy ‘keeping watch,’ then why do you care about whether or not I snore now?”

He was glad that she had taken him up on his offer to let her shower first though. Now that he was aware of her neglectful habits, he’d privately taken it upon himself to make sure her basic needs were met. Technically a shower wasn’t a basic need, since there wouldn’t be any major repercussions if she skipped out on taking one, but he hoped it would help her sleep better at least. He knew that whenever he bathed before he went to bed, he always seemed to sleep more soundly, comfortable with clean fabric pulled over his clean skin. It was a heavenly feeling.

Parting his lips to agree that he’d wait to use the shower after she was done, he faltered when she spoke first and told him not to peek. Why did she have to say it in a way that almost makes it sound like a dare? He groaned inwardly. Although he would never actually spy on a woman while she was bathing, he hated how flustered he was by the idea of it. “I won’t,” he folded his arms somewhat indignantly while she hurried into the bathroom to take her shower. Once she was gone, he let out his breath in a long exhale and laid down on the bed, making himself comfortable until it was his turn to take advantage of the running water and trying not to let his thoughts wander into territory that he didn’t want them to go while she was washing up in the adjacent room.

[sukikyoufu]

Taking her turn in the shower Iris couldn’t help but think over the words Cas had said, he cared about her more than most people. Those words alone made her heart flutter because he really did care about her, she understood why he hadn’t wanted to get so close at the start and had roles been reversed she would have been the same. Not once did she think he didn’t care about her though, she knew she had hurt him and the fact was he was going back to the Capital, why get close to someone who couldn’t be there with you especially after everything she had caused. Iris did not blame him for a moment for not offering a shoulder to cry on, she would never expect it from him.

Sighing as she felt the water hit her skin, she cleaned herself up from the layer of dust she had gained from the rubble, she was feeling much better already but she couldn’t help but think about Cas. The fact he cared about her because she felt the same, truth be told she knew that if he decided to go back to the Capital, she would be heartbroken because she didn’t fit in there at all. She would not be welcomed there by anyone. No. I need to stop thinking like this and enjoy whatever time I do have with him because I care about him… I really like him, and I’ve not felt like this before. Feeling her face heat up in the shower as she washed her hair.

Although I can’t believe I told him not to peek, what kind of idiot does that? Chiding herself in her thoughts as she got herself out of the shower wrapping a towel around her. Though… it wouldn’t have been so bad if he had. No. What am I thinking. Oh lord… Even at her own thoughts she could feel herself turn crimson embarrassed, think of something else. Boring thoughts. Yes. Nodding to herself as she dried herself off before getting changed back into some clothes feeling cleaner than before. Glancing at herself in the mirror she could see the bruise had faded from her face and she looked more like herself again minus the wet hair, smiling at the reflection she could see her cheeks had a slight tinge of pink to them but it was nothing compared to the bright red they had to have been before.

Making her way back into the room she smiled over at Cas as she sat herself on the bed next to him, “Shower is all yours.” Smiling to herself she reached out and placed her hand on his, “And what you said earlier… I just want you to know that I… well. I care about you a lot and I will stand by you and whatever decision you make and just as I know I can talk to you. You can talk to me too okay. We will get through this. Together.”

[Rogue Sloth]

While Iris was in the shower, Cas stayed on the bed, propping his good arm underneath his head and closing his eyes. He was tempted to doze off, but knowing how thoughtful she could be, he was pretty sure she would just let him keep sleeping if he passed out before she got back. Though he was tired, he still wanted to get cleaned up before he went to bed for the night. So, instead of drifting off all the way, he just rested his eyes until he heard the water turn off followed by the sound of the bathroom door opening.

As she approached the bed, he sat up again and stretched his back, stifling a weary yawn. His eyes swept over her, and he made room for her to sit next to him. As always, he was tempted to stare because he found her so beautiful. The pink tint in her cheeks was attractive, and he thought she was effortlessly pretty with her damp hair and skin. It was a wonder he’d even managed not to stay away from her for a few days after she’d helped him escape from her crazy father.

“Thanks,” he said, leaning forward to get up from the bed. However, before he could stand, he paused at the feeling of her hand over his. Turning back to her, he listened as she told him that he could talk to her too. It was something he already knew and had taken her up on once when they were in Bel Bicis, but he liked hearing her say it again. “Thank you for that,” he sighed, leaning over to press a kiss to her cheek before he rose to his feet. “I don’t think you can know just how much I appreciate it.” Before her, the only other person he’d felt like he could open up to completely was his mother. His father was too critical to confide in—the king would just find a way to pin blame on him if he was ever upset about something—and his friends almost always shied away from conversations that didn’t involve partying or women. For the last six years, he’d been told and convinced that he had to handle everything on his own, so it was nice to know that there was now someone else around who was willing to share his burdens.

“I’ll try not to take too long,” he assured Iris as he headed into the bathroom to wash up. Closing the door behind him, he turned on the water and stripped off his clothes while he waited a few seconds for it to heat up. Like the shower at Maisie’s place, he couldn’t get it very hot, but it was still warm enough to soothe his tired muscles when he stepped underneath the low-pressure stream. Enjoying the way it felt, he took a couple minutes to stand in the water without doing anything, closing his eyes as it flowed pleasantly over his head and shoulders. He didn’t want to leave Iris alone for too long though, so after he’d dawdled for a short while, he scrubbed the dirt from his skin and hair turned the water back off.

Pulling the curtain aside, he saw that there was still one unused towel left. He picked it up and quickly dried his hair before wrapping it around his waist and stepping over the side of the tub. As always, the feeling of being clean was something he relished, and he approached the mirror to straighten his hair a little before he would put his clothes back on. Looking at his own reflection, he could see that some of the injuries he’d gotten toward the beginning of his abduction were starting to fade a little, but for the most part, he was still checkered with cuts and bruises. It’s no wonder no one seems to recognize me out here, he thought as he gently touched the scabbed-over cut on his cheek. Between the injuries and the fact that he hadn’t had access to a razor in a week, his appearance was practically a disguise by itself. He hardly even recognized the man staring back at him in the mirror.

With a shake of his head, he picked up his jeans and put them back on, though he didn’t do the same with his shirt. It had been a while since the last time he’d redressed the stab wound on his arm, so he wanted to treat it again before he went to sleep. It would be easier to do that without holding a sleeve out of the way. Tossing the loose shirt over his right shoulder, he ambled back into the bedroom and over to the backpack he’d left at the foot of the bed. “Hey, Iris?” he asked while he gathered the bandages he needed. “Do you mind helping me out with my arm real quick? You were right yesterday when you said it’s easier if someone else changes out the dressing.”

[sukikyoufu]

“Take as long as you need. I don’t mind at all” Iris called out watching him go to the bathroom, this time she made herself comfortable on the bed sighing happily in content as she felt like she could finally relax. Kicking her feet up onto the bed as it felt good to have a mattress beneath her. Happy in the fact he appreciated being able to talk to her, just as she could him. Though that was something she would find trouble with, not because of talking to him but she found it hard to open up sometimes as she rather liked to just push it to one side and not bother anyone with it. Closing her eyes as she rested for a little whilst he took the shower she thought on a few things, thoughts swirling from what had happened with the rebels and her father to now the fact she was in a room with the Prince that she had somehow snuck out from beneath the rebels noses.

I hope we keep evading them… I don’t know what they will do if they catch us. Grimacing slightly as her thoughts turned to the what ifs of them being caught and how she could keep them hidden from them with little resources. Opening her eyes slightly as she heard the shuffle back into the room, she caught sight of his bare chest with the shirt over his shoulder. Feeling her cheeks heat up in an instant it was hard not to be attracted to him, she was infatuated with him and it didn’t help with the thoughts that had crossed her mind earlier. Oh my…

“A-Ah. Sorry. Sure. No of course I eh.. can.” Sitting up as she found herself stuttering, flustered as she was caught by surprise. Feeling a little hot under the collar she pushed herself up from the bed patting the side for him to sit next to her so she could redress the wound. Smiling as she looked at Cas, she took the bandages from him in her own hands happy that she could help him, she had almost forgotten about the wound he had on his arm but keeping it clean was important. Iris couldn’t let herself get distracted by the fact he was not wearing a top, right now she needed to help him not ogle him.

“Sorry…” Whispering more to herself as she shook her head trying to focus herself, gently she began to wrap the bandages around his arm making sure it was just tight enough. Thankfully she didn’t need to clean it because the shower had at least done that, plus she didn’t think they had much supplies to clean it, nothing alcoholic at least. It looked like it was on the mend and healing nicely, so she hoped it wasn’t as painful as to when it had first happened. Tying up the end of the bandage she smiled at her handywork as her hand moved resting on his bare chest absentmindedly, “There we are, is that okay?” Asking softly as she met his gaze with hers.

[Rogue Sloth]

It hadn’t been Caspian’s intention to make Iris flustered, but her reaction to seeing him without a shirt on was a pleasant stroke to his ego. He bit the tip of his tongue to stifle the smile that threatened to take over his lips. At home, he was used to walking around shirtless when he had nowhere to be, especially after he’d just gotten out of the shower. Since his family had servants of both sexes, he didn’t think much of it when there were others around to see him either. The only reason he’d been more conscious at Maisie’s place was because he’d felt a bit more out of his element there. Sharing a room at the pub with Iris, with no one else around, he was relaxed enough that his mindless habits had started to resurface.

In retrospect, he supposed he should have thought it through before he’d stepped out of the bathroom half naked. After all, Iris wasn’t a servant; she was a woman who had professed to have feelings for him. It wasn’t the same, and it had been impulsive of him to assume she would be unaffected by the sight he presented her with. However, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. The color that flooded her cheeks and the stammer in her voice were just too gratifying. Aside from the dark bruises on his midriff, he was proud of his physique. He’d taken after his father in his sturdy frame, and he was toned from his workout routine. Knowing that someone he found attractive thought he was too was a satisfying feeling.

“Thanks,” he said as evenly as he could, sitting down next to her and handing her the supplies to redress his arm. When she set to work, he took a steady breath to brace himself. It had only been a couple of days since Regis had stabbed him, so the process of treating the injury was still painful. In general, his soreness was starting to fade, and when he had something else to occupy his thoughts, he hardly noticed the persistent ache, but the unbinding of the old bandages brought the wound back to the forefront of his mind.

He bit his lip and curled his fingers into fists at his sides, wincing faintly as she patched him up. Although he was far from stoic, he was getting better at hiding his discomfort during the procedure. He managed not to make any noise until she was done. “Yeah, it feels snug,” he answered her question, shifting his arm slightly to make sure the bandages didn’t slip with the motion. In the next moment, the feeling of her hand on his chest made him pause, and he looked up to find that she was staring back at him. He fell quiet, studying her bright eyes. Her touch was warm against his skin, and his heart fluttered in belated response to their proximity. He even noticed that she smelled good up close. Everything about her was both comforting and enticing at the same time.

Before he knew what he was doing, he found himself leaning toward her. His eyes drifted shut and his right arm crossed over her lap to wrap around her waist as he met her lips in a tender kiss.

[sukikyoufu]

Happy that she had done a good job with bandaging his arm she was glad when had said it felt snug, it meant it would stay on and be good enough to help with the healing. That was her hope anyway because she really wasn’t a doctor and she was sure a professional would do a far better job than she had. It couldn’t be easy for Cas just sitting through it as she bandaged up what she considered a rather nasty wound that her father caused. It had to be painful and the fact he had sat through whilst she bandaged it without so much as a whimper, she had to admire his courage and bravery on this. Remembering her own wound on the leg when she had been caught in a bear trap the pain was unbearable at times, she couldn’t help but whimper or groan in pain when it was touched or walked on so for him to be a trouper through was admirable.

“I hope it helps, I wish I could offer you some painkillers or anything to ease the pain. It can’t be comfortable. I’ll try to look for some on our journey for you.” At least when she had the wound, she had access to painkillers because they had been in the Capital and they had access to all the medicine possible. Keeping the smile on her face as her hand touched his chest, she could feel the warmth radiating between them and it was so enticing to her. Being close to him and touching his bare skin made her heart race in a good way and as he leaned forward, she couldn’t help but respond by doing the same. Drawn to him like bees to honey and she didn’t want this feeling to go away.

“Cas.” Whispering his name against his lips as she felt his lips against her in a tender kiss, she couldn’t help but reciprocate. There was nothing that she wanted more than to just be close to him, feel him and touch him because that was all she had longed for since they had tried to keep a distance. It had only made her want him far more than before.

If she could melt in his arms she would, her other hand moved to join her other one placed on his chest. Both hands now touching him gently as she moved forward to be closer to him as she felt his arm wrap around her waist. Without noticing as she kissed him her fingers traced circles on his toned chest, careful to not press hard as he was still bruised, and she didn’t want to hurt him. Her touch was soft, gentle as she pulled back from the kiss for some air her heart racing as she enjoyed every moment, she could with him.

“Does it hurt?” Whispering in a daze as she glanced down to the bruising on his chest, fingers still tracing circles gently on his skin as she felt intoxicated by him.

[Rogue Sloth]

Iris’s words went in one ear and out the other as Caspian lost himself in the feeling of her lips pressed against his. He didn’t have the mental capacity to entertain a conversation about painkillers when he was too busy being entranced by her touch. The way she whispered his name sent shivers down his spine, and something between a growl and a sigh escaped his throat as he deepened the kiss. For a moment, he completely forgot about how tired he’d been just a few minutes ago. The way she entangled herself with him was reenergizing, and he pulled her as close as he could with his uninjured arm, injecting a little more passion into the originally tender embrace.

In the back of his head, he knew they were playing with fire. Alone in the equivalent of a hotel room, there was no one else around to interrupt them before they got carried away. The only people who could put the brakes on before they did something stupid was the two of them. However, he couldn’t help himself. He’d never felt toward anyone the way he did about Iris, and he craved to close the distance between them fully. Caught up in the whirlwind of infatuation, he leaned further into her, his heart racing wildly as she traced patterns on his bare skin with her fingers. Everything she did felt so good that he didn’t realize he’d run out of breath until she pulled back from his lips.

Panting to quell the dizziness, he shook his head in response to her question. “The worst one is the bruise on my stomach,” he breathed, indicating the discolored spot with his left hand. “The others don’t really hurt anymore.” He knew he probably looked worse off than he really was. He’d seen the peppering of bruises for himself when he’d stood in front of the mirror at Maisie’s apartment. Even though his skin was painted with purples, blues and greens, most of the spots didn’t pain him unless he pressed down on them hard. The only one that he really had to pay close attention to was the mottled patch on his abdomen, where Regis had punched and kicked him so many times that it was going to take him a while to recover.

While he spoke, he didn’t lift his gaze from her pink lips. He felt like an addict who’d just taken his first hit from a drug after weeks of withdrawal, so it was difficult for him to slow down. He wondered if she was feeling the same way, since he noticed that even when she’d paused to ask if he was hurting, she hadn’t stopped toying with his bare chest. Either way, he wasn’t done drinking his fill of her yet, so he leaned in to kiss her again, opening his mouth just a little wider while he trailed his hand up from her lower back to her shoulders.

“God, I can’t stay away from you,” he murmured against her lips, his fingers curling around her shirt against her back as he clutched her. He was more careful with his left arm, but he still placed his hand on her waist, unable to leave it dangling uninvolved at his side.

[sukikyoufu]

The way they were playing with fire only excited her, the deepening of the kiss and feeling the distance close between them sent chills through her. Every touch, every kiss was electrifying, it was like it was running through her veins as she lost herself with him enjoying every moment. It was easy to forget that they were just in a room in the pub together, still on the run from the rebels who wanted nothing more than to kill Cas. The bitter reality of life forgotten as they shared this intimate moment in the bedroom forgetting the world around them.

We should stop… Thoughts flitted by as she knew deep down, they should stop before doing something stupid, but I really don’t want too. Glancing down to his discoloured stomach as he spoke about how that was the worst, she couldn’t help but feel guilty. Regis had caused that, her father who had wanted nothing more than his death. Something which she had stopped, and she knew she had made the right decision, whether or not feelings were involved his death wouldn’t be worth it. No one dying needlessly was worth it and she stood by that. As he spoke about the bruise on his stomach her hand trailed down towards it, fingertips brushing against his skin gently as she stopped at the wound. A part of her wished she could make it better, but nothing she could do right now would help it. Time would heal that, so they had to be patient.

All thoughts of getting some sleep had slipped her mind as he came back in for another kiss this time it felt different. Feeling her back arch into him as she felt his hand trail up her back all the way to her shoulders her heart continued to race, cheeks tinted red as she felt herself shudder at his words against her lips. It was hard trying to stop because deep down it was her desire, she wanted to be this close to him. Enjoy his touch, feeling intoxicated around him as she enjoyed every moment together alone. Instinctively her hands roamed his chest, slender fingertips brushing against his skin gently as she kept pace with him deepening the kiss herself as all rational thoughts were pushed aside as primal desire started to take over.

Even through heavy lidded eyes a small voice in the back of her head popped up, reminding her that she ultimately betrayed him. That in reality whatever kind of relationship they were experiencing had started with lies and she didn’t want that to come between them. Pulling back slightly she still kept close to him, her hands now flat on his chest as she met his gaze with dazed blue eyes, “Is this okay?” Whispering up to him, “Should we stop… a-are you… okay with this?” As much as she wanted to push back the thoughts she had, she couldn’t. Ultimately, she had hurt him, and she didn’t want to do that again, she didn’t want him to get hurt over anything and even if she was okay with this he had to be too.

[Rogue Sloth]

Throughout the whole of his romantic history, Cas had never been quite as tempted to throw caution to the wind as he was with Iris in their private room. The feeling of her torso pressed against his as she arched her back made his skin feel hot, and he shifted his weight as his muscles grew taut under the tension they were both feeding with their passionate kissing. His heart hammered inside his chest as he took her bottom lip between his teeth, losing his sense of reason as the heat of the moment took over his brain. Despite the repercussions, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away from her. She stirred a fire inside of him with which he was too unfamiliar to control. The flames demanded to be fanned, and he gave in to them with reckless abandon.

Almost instinctively, his fingers drifted toward the hem of her shirt as the spell coaxed him to take things farther. He had never slept with anyone before—truthfully, he’d never even gotten to the point of removing clothes—but he’d always had the desire to. The only reason he’d been abstinent for so long was because his father had forcibly involved himself in his love life. With each prior relationship ended too prematurely for anything to happen, coupled with his own reservations about one night stands, he’d never had the opportunity to find out what it would be like to actually go all the way. Now, with nothing to stop him besides his own stifled conscience, the devil on his shoulder had taken the wheel, and he took the fabric in his hands.

Before he could begin to lift it, though, Iris’s whispery voice made him stop. Her question was a cold reminder of the very thing he’d been trying to forget. Is this really okay? He wanted to groan in frustration as he repeated the inquiry in his mind. As much as he wanted her, he couldn’t tell her that he thought everything would be fine or that there wouldn’t be any repercussions to letting themselves be stupid for one night. “I don’t know,” he admitted reluctantly, dropping his forehead on her shoulder with a long exhale. His hands still held the hem of her shirt, but he made no move to pull at it. He knew that he still wanted this, but he couldn’t lie to her. It would have been irresponsible and selfish. He hadn’t been lying when he’d told her he cared about her more than most people, and—unfortunately—that meant doing the mature thing and telling her the truth. Damn you, moral compass.

“I want this,” he told her, lifting his head to meet her gaze with a frown. No matter what, he wanted to make sure she knew that he wasn’t slowing down because of anything to do with her. “But… we shouldn’t do something we’ll regret later. I mean, we don’t even have protection. I’d hate for this to turn into a catastrophe because we got careless. We’re not safe right now, we don’t know when we will be, and whether I go back to the capital or not, we’re probably going to have to jump through hoops to be together. It’s already going to be a mess without throwing a pregnancy into the mix… I don’t want to ruin your life by pretending like that couldn’t happen.”

He studied her flushed face with a twinge of discouragement. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so carried away. I wasn’t thinking.”

[sukikyoufu]

He’s right. I know he’s right, but damnit. Although we shouldn’t… I know we shouldn’t. Considering if he does go back to the Capital. As he explained about how they weren’t safe and it would be reckless of them, it was a different angle to what her original concerns were on, but his reasons were valid, if not more so. If he returned to the Capital after an accident like that it wouldn’t end well for either of them and there was no use pretending like everything would be fine. Damn us being reasonable and responsible, but it’s the right thing to do. I know it is. Meeting his gaze, she could see the frown, but he didn’t say he didn’t want it and she was glad for that fact. Sighing softly, she nodded letting her hands drop from his chest, “I know. You’re right, we shouldn’t be so reckless.” Especially considering they didn’t know what could happen right now or in the future.

Regaining her breath, she moved her hand and touched his cheek gently smiling, “I want this too, but I know you’re right. It’s not going to be easy for us no matter what decision you make, but I’ll support you regardless okay?” She wanted him to know that she felt the same, that her earlier questions hadn’t meant to derail them on purpose because she did want to go that far with him it just wasn’t the right time at the moment.

“Please, don’t apologise. I didn’t help either. We both got a little carried away. Heat of the moment I guess.” Leaning up she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before pulling away, making sure he knew that she still felt the same no matter what happened. “Although I blame you for not wearing a shirt~” Teasing him with a playful chuckle, lightening the mood so it didn’t become too awkward after their moment.

Shifting her weight on the bed she looked towards the door knowing that at least they were safe in here for the night, “We should maybe look at getting some sleep now? I know that we still have a long battle ahead of us so we should make the most of being able to rest whilst we can.” Looking back over to him and the bed they were on, feeling her cheeks heat up a little bit she bit the bottom of her lip a little cautious especially after what had just happened, “So… eh, did you want to share the bed? Or… if not it’s okay I can take the floor and you can rest on the bed! I don’t mind… it’s eh. Well what do you want to do?” Chuckling nervously as she rubbed her arm, it’s not that she didn’t want to share the bed, but she just wanted to make it easier for them both and if it meant sleeping separately, she would do it. Though it was clear she was still a little flustered as she smiled over at Cas.

[Rogue Sloth]

Cas sighed when Iris agreed that they were being reckless. The logical side of him was glad that they were on the same page, but he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed too. Hearing her say they should stop confirmed his suspicion that it was a bad idea, and affirmed that they weren’t going to be doing anything more that night. He reluctantly let his hands drop from her shirt into his own lap. Even though they were in agreement, it was going to take him a few more minutes to recover from the heat of the moment. His pulse was still elevated, and he shifted his weight awkwardly, wondering if he should hop back into the shower to cool off before he went to bed.

“I know you will,” he murmured, dragging his fingers through his still-damp hair. When it came to the decision he had yet to make, it wasn’t her support that he was worried about. He trusted that she would stand by his side no matter what. Really, it was the consequences of both options that left him trapped in a limbo as he struggled to choose what he preferred to do. Unquestionably, going back to the capital was the “right” choice, because it was his responsibility to succeed his father and take over the crown after he passed. By going back, he would also regain the authority to try to help the people of Aspiria beyond the capital. However, he was hesitant to return to a life in which he was nothing more than a cog in the wheel of the monarchy. He wanted to be more than that, to pave his own way rather than allow everyone else to turn him into their political puppet. He doubted he would be able to do that if he went back to all the people that he now knew didn’t care about him.

Disheartened by the thought, he was more than happy to change the subject when Iris teased him about being the reason for their near slip up. “In my defense, I only left it off so it would be easier for you to bandage my arm,” he objected, leaning into her side good-naturedly. “I didn’t know you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off me.” Although, even if he had known the effect it would have on her, he couldn’t honestly say that he would have done anything differently. Now that he was no longer trying to keep his distance from her, the thought of crossing the line had passed through his head on multiple occasions. Just because it was a reckless idea didn’t mean he didn’t want to do it. The only thing that he stopped them from making poor decisions this time had been her grounding question.

When she offered to sleep on the floor so they could put some space between them, Cas shook his head, “You had a fever until just two hours ago. I’m not going to make you sleep on the floor.” Bending down, he picked up his shirt from where he’d left it discarded at the foot of the bed. “We agreed it was a bad idea, so I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself,” he assured her, sliding the garment over his head. As he smoothed it down over his torso, he turned back to her and smirked teasingly. “The only question is whether you can stay away from me.”

[sukikyoufu]

“In your defence! Please…” Iris scoffed with a soft smile on her face as they playfully teased one another about the situation, it was far better than being awkward over it. “I didn’t hear you complaining one bit about my hands.” Chuckling to herself as he remarked how she couldn’t keep her hands off of him, “Plus you can barely keep your own hands to yourself too and don’t get me started on how many times you keep stealing kisses.” Even as Iris spoke, she couldn’t help but laugh, they were both as bad as each other especially seeing as they had tried to be apart which didn’t work out.

Even though moments ago they had nearly done something stupid she was still glad that it didn’t feel like anything had changed from how they had been back in the Capital. A big part of her had thought how he would judge her for her background, look down on her for her heritage but he hadn’t. the only reason he had been cold at the start was because of how she had hurt him, betrayed him but now it felt like it didn’t matter. Well, she still felt guilty for doing that and that was something she would never forget, and she knew the guilt would continue to eat away at her. There was nothing she could do to repay that; nothing would ever be good enough in her eyes.

“Hey! I had a fever, it’s all good now.” Grinning as she watched him pick up his shirt putting it back on, but moments later his teasing made her flush a bright red. “Me!?” She said incredulously with eyes wide as she shook her head furiously, “Oh no, no no no. You couldn’t stay away from me in the start, so I think you are at fault here not me mister. Trying to blame it on me. You cheeky thing.” Though the smile never left her lips as she teased him in return because she found it fun, it was all in good humour at least. “Plus, anyway I doubt you’d complain if I couldn’t keep my hands off of you.” Sticking her tongue out playfully as she gave him a wink.

Sighing happily, she looked over at him, “All teasing aside though, let’s get some rest. I’m pretty tired now thinking on it and there is no way I want to get sick again. Not with everything going on right now.” Carefully she laid herself down on the bed still a little flustered over earlier events, but she was calming down. Though she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t excited to share a bed with him, even though they weren’t doing anything being able to rest with him she knew she’d be able to get some actual sleep this time. There was something calming about having him around with her, even if they didn’t cuddle, she knew his presence would still make her feel safe whilst she rested. Closing her eyes she settled herself down for the night feeling content.