[IC] Monster Hearts: Sleepshy Rise

[Thanqol]

When we last left the perilous Sleepshy Rise, Elodie, daughter of the Grim Reaper, had survived some perilous makeouts just in time to overhear the dark and shocking confession of Timothy Crompton where he confessed to the awful sin of falling asleep on the job. Meanwhile, Annalee was desperately seeking a way back into the castle in order to fulfil one of the increasing numbers of mental compulsions that were placed upon her and the vampire Samuel was brooding ominously in his office.

Place yourselves, and resume.

[Tatterdemalion]

[X] SECOND PLACE
[X] WEREWOLF MAGNET

Oh, please. Like that’s the takeaway of poor little Timmy’s tale of woe. No, the problem is that he has suffered terrible trauma from the trashiest, most terrible girl ever to walk the earth! Elodie’s blood seethes in her veins and she punches a sweater. Her little Timmy, betrayed in love? No. Oh no no no. This will not be borne.

Whatever’s going through Timmy’s head right now, Elodie is studiously ignoring it, because she’s scheming in the depths of the closet she’s hiding in. The pits of Tartarus are too good for her! But that’s where she’ll send this two-timing heartbreaker, oh, yes! She’ll dangle her over the Pit and let Timmy vent at her until he’s managed to find closure, and then she’ll push that bullying two-faced jerk inside and let the furies figure out a proper punishment for breaking little Timmy’s heart!

Ha! Ha ha! Hahaha! Muahahahahahaha! Muahahahahahaha!!

(Every now and then, one should be reminded that Elodie is here for a reason. This is one of those reminders.)

[Anarion]

Annalee is beginning to wonder just how one normally gets into Sleepshy Academy. Baba Sockolov had flown her into the castle the first time (she was absolutely going to learn how to mount a cauldron properly, but Baba insisted that she needed to gain her freshmen fifteen first, otherwise the cauldron would laugh and just throw her off of it because her thighs weren't strong enough). Right, castle entrance. How did the people who couldn't fly get inside?

She starts circling. She hopes maybe G'eldriia heard her and will know a way in now that she's not worried about avoiding the Angel. The spider quiz captain seemed entirely motivated by avoiding punishment as much as possible, so doing exactly what the Angel wanted seemed like it would be right up her alley. If not, Annalee was pretty done with her for now, and was simply going to walk away and circle the place. No way was she climbing those slippery stones, she'd had enough injuries already and she bruised very easily (this was also a reason Baba said she couldn't fly a cauldron yet).

Ugh, this was so frustrating. She finally had a bead on Timmy and it had been RIGHT WHERE SHE WAS. Oh she was going to get whoever had been hiding him, mark her words. She just needed to find a way into this dumb castle. If she didn't find something soon, she was going to have to just blow a hole into the dungeons.

[Elanorin]

So, brooding and scheming was all well and good but at a certain point the blatant lack of respect and fear was becoming enough to dampen even this unusually good mood. Of course, only one thing was worse than sitting here, staring daggers at the un-knocked door, was getting up and going after the damn students like some whimpering puppy in desperate need for attention and validation.

Hell.

No.

Over his undead body.

So Samael Hale remained, sinking an inch deeper in to the massive armchair, digging his nails in to the armrests as his expression slowly melted from smug to a slow-simmering bitterness.

[Thanqol]

[X] SECOND PLACE
[X] WEREWOLF MAGNET

Oh, please. Like that’s the takeaway of poor little Timmy’s tale of woe. No, the problem is that he has suffered terrible trauma from the trashiest, most terrible girl ever to walk the earth! Elodie’s blood seethes in her veins and she punches a sweater. Her little Timmy, betrayed in love? No. Oh no no no. This will not be borne.

Whatever’s going through Timmy’s head right now, Elodie is studiously ignoring it, because she’s scheming in the depths of the closet she’s hiding in. The pits of Tartarus are too good for her! But that’s where she’ll send this two-timing heartbreaker, oh, yes! She’ll dangle her over the Pit and let Timmy vent at her until he’s managed to find closure, and then she’ll push that bullying two-faced jerk inside and let the furies figure out a proper punishment for breaking little Timmy’s heart!

Ha! Ha ha! Hahaha! Muahahahahahaha! Muahahahahahaha!!

(Every now and then, one should be reminded that Elodie is here for a reason. This is one of those reminders.)

@Tatterdemalion

Visions of death and darkness flash behind your eyes, Elodie. In a lot of ways this girl is in unique trouble that it is you she has crossed and not any of the other, ostensibly more dangerous monsters contained within Sleepshy - if only for the reason that you are not contained within Sleepshy.

Roll to Gaze into the Abyss.

Annalee is beginning to wonder just how one normally gets into Sleepshy Academy. Baba Sockolov had flown her into the castle the first time (she was absolutely going to learn how to mount a cauldron properly, but Baba insisted that she needed to gain her freshmen fifteen first, otherwise the cauldron would laugh and just throw her off of it because her thighs weren't strong enough). Right, castle entrance. How did the people who couldn't fly get inside?

She starts circling. She hopes maybe G'eldriia heard her and will know a way in now that she's not worried about avoiding the Angel. The spider quiz captain seemed entirely motivated by avoiding punishment as much as possible, so doing exactly what the Angel wanted seemed like it would be right up her alley. If not, Annalee was pretty done with her for now, and was simply going to walk away and circle the place. No way was she climbing those slippery stones, she'd had enough injuries already and she bruised very easily (this was also a reason Baba said she couldn't fly a cauldron yet).

Ugh, this was so frustrating. She finally had a bead on Timmy and it had been RIGHT WHERE SHE WAS. Oh she was going to get whoever had been hiding him, mark her words. She just needed to find a way into this dumb castle. If she didn't find something soon, she was going to have to just blow a hole into the dungeons.

@Anarion

"Your answer is... correct," came a voice, soft and melodic on the breeze. "You may pass."

You catch a glimpse of G'eldriia disappearing down a tunnel, pausing only to wink and wave. You race to catch up but you find your way blocked by the contents of an entire Hot Topic store.

Despite any individual item of clothing being designed to maximize the amount of flesh shown, the patchwork collection amounted to something that was almost practical for the rainy English countryside. Around you posters for all those classic Goth bands - Evanescence, Chiasm, An'tep the Pharoh's Court Musician - leer out in black and red and papyrus. White foundation and black eyeliner and more than an edge of the feline and tauric paws that gave every impression of being able to take your head from your shoulders.

"Two visitors in one day?" said the Sphinx. "Whatever."

So, brooding and scheming was all well and good but at a certain point the blatant lack of respect and fear was becoming enough to dampen even this unusually good mood. Of course, only one thing was worse than sitting here, staring daggers at the un-knocked door, was getting up and going after the damn students like some whimpering puppy in desperate need for attention and validation.

Hell.

No.

Over his undead body.

So Samael Hale remained, sinking an inch deeper in to the massive armchair, digging his nails in to the armrests as his expression slowly melted from smug to a slow-simmering bitterness.

@Elanorin

Waiting, Samael? You must be good at that for having lived this long. You've spent a not-inconsiderable amount of your immortal lifespan in vampiric torpor, recovering from terrible injuries under the ground, filled with dark nightmares marking the span of centuries. You have a lot to be bitter about.

Roll to Gaze into the Abyss, and tell me about your experiences lying trapped in a coffin under the earth.

[Tatterdemalion]

SECOND PLACE
WEREWOLF MAGNET

They’re not necessarily gore-splattered visions of killing, mind you. Elodie’s family doesn’t deal with killing. They handle the processes that happen afterwards. But that means certain hussies who get poor, innocent lambs fired from the job mind find themselves, ah, given expedited service. Once you’re in Tartarus, does it really matter if you’re there early?

Oooh, or maybe she’ll give Xibalba a call! There are so many humiliating torments and tortures down there, and she still has an IOU from Uncle Hun-Came after he missed her birthday to play skull basketball. Yes, Xibalba has a lot of potential...

[10 on that Gaze!]

[TheAmishPirate]

JEALOUS

”You could’ve run.”

“I wanted to, believe me. Do you think I wanted to stay?!”

”But you did stay.”

“Well...yes, but…”

”You stayed. You watched. You saw. You saw it all.”

Couldn’t tear your eyes away! Who knew you had the taste for that sort of fun?

“It was...an a-accident…”

”You stayed until you were chased away, Crompton old boy.”

“I didn’t mean to-”

Gobbled up the sight like that wolf was gobbling dear Elly-belly! You can still hear her, can’t you? The way she ravished your name?

”You’d like more, wouldn’t you?”

“N-no…”

”Shhhhhh. Listen to your heart race. You can feel it in your blood, can’t you?”

Thump-thump! Thump-thump! And you can’t stop it, can you?~

“I don’t want it. I don’t want it!”

”You had fun. You enjoyed it. You’re enjoying it right now.”

“It’s improper! It’s indecent!”

”Sick little Crompton. Poor, sick little Crompton.”

How easily you fall astray! How thin a thread your heart dangles over wickedness! Who knew? Who knew?

“I-I’m not going back. I’m never doing that again.”

How wise! How wise! It’s dangerous out there, you know! So many beasts, ready to gobble. You. Up. And you’d let them, you would!

“Th-they can keep their kisses to themselves. I don’t want them.”

Stay away from the beasts, little boy. Keep your head down, and never let them get close.

“I don’t want them. I don’t want any of them...”

Stay alone, Timothy Oglevee Crompton.

Stay m i n e

************************************************************************************

Elodie, you can hear two Timmy’s.

And before your imagination runs too far with that one, you can also hear that one of the Timmys is being a real meanie to the other. And that’s weird, right? It’s super weird. Your Timmy would never be so cruel.

A peek out of the closet confirms it; your Timmy wouldn’t be so cruel, because that’s not your Timmy at all! It’s that ghost-Masque again! They’ve taken on Timmy’s face and voice, all the better to whisper cruel nothings right into his ear. And they’re sticking their gross ghostly claws right into his noggin to keep his thoughts all a-scramble! And poor Timmy’s such a normal, sweet boy, he doesn’t seem to realize the terrible, terrible trick that’s being played on him. He’s helpless! Defenseless! At their mercy! Oh no!

This may be your most critical ghost mission yet. What do you do!?

[Thanqol]

Elodie, even as you ready yourself to inflict terrible damage upon an evil ghost, something catches your eye. Masque is indeed whispering those things in dear little Timmy's ear, and that is unambiguously the sort of thing Masque as a wicked shapeshifter would do...

But there are two forces there, not one. Something that was already inside Timothy is seeping out of him and mingling with and overlaying Masque. Some evil spirit must have gotten to him before all of this. Not the sort of thing you can affect with your magic, but perhaps the sort of hex Annalee might know how to handle - if she wasn't the one responsible for it in the first place.

[Tatterdemalion]

SECOND PLACE
WEREWOLF MAGNET

“Don’t you listen, Timmy!” To say that Elodie bursts forth from the closet would be putting far too much weight on that poor verb. Explodes might do a better job. Her face is flushed and she is not letting a single one of her thoughts do the talking for her. She’s figured out what’s going on.

“Youuuuu, Masque,” she says, with a stab of her finger, “are well overdue for a trip to the underworld! You can either get out of Timmy’s hair or I’ll see if my Dad has room on the next wagon to Tartarus!” It’s dangerous flaunting her position in front of Timmy like this, but what else is she supposed to do? Scream and faint and beg for somebody, anybody, to help? No. No, this must be handled decisively.

“As for you, you poor dear,” she says, hauling Timmy up to his feet and hooking his arm with her elbow possessively, “you are under the effects of magic! I’m pretty sure it’s Analee cheating, just because she got to have you first!”

Oh, boy. Oh boy. Elodie, no. Ellie. Ellie please. Don’t air that out right in front of young Crompton. Don’t let him know that everybody knows.

“So what we are going to do is get you uncursed. We may have to get physical! But that’s why I’m bringing my strong knight in shining armor,” she says, grabbing his hand and dragging him over to the door. The danger’s passed, and there’s a much more pressing danger now! “Don’t you believe anything she says, and remember, we can’t let her go until she uncurses you, the jealous little witch!”

[TheAmishPirate]

SECOND PLACE
WEREWOLF MAGNET

“Don’t you listen, Timmy!” To say that Elodie bursts forth from the closet would be putting far too much weight on that poor verb. Explodes might do a better job. Her face is flushed and she is not letting a single one of her thoughts do the talking for her. She’s figured out what’s going on.

“Youuuuu, Masque,” she says, with a stab of her finger, “are well overdue for a trip to the underworld! You can either get out of Timmy’s hair or I’ll see if my Dad has room on the next wagon to Tartarus!” It’s dangerous flaunting her position in front of Timmy like this, but what else is she supposed to do? Scream and faint and beg for somebody, anybody, to help? No. No, this must be handled decisively.

“As for you, you poor dear,” she says, hauling Timmy up to his feet and hooking his arm with her elbow possessively, “you are under the effects of magic! I’m pretty sure it’s Analee cheating, just because she got to have you first!”

Oh, boy. Oh boy. Elodie, no. Ellie. Ellie please. Don’t air that out right in front of young Crompton. Don’t let him know that everybody knows.

“So what we are going to do is get you uncursed. We may have to get physical! But that’s why I’m bringing my strong knight in shining armor,” she says, grabbing his hand and dragging him over to the door. The danger’s passed, and there’s a much more pressing danger now! “Don’t you believe anything she says, and remember, we can’t let her go until she uncurses you, the jealous little witch!”

@Tatterdemalion

JEALOUS

It was like getting hauled out of the local swimming hole by a passing train.

One moment, Timothy was drowning in himself. The next, the voices had stopped - no, they'd been utterly trampled, and he was up, Elodie dragging him along by the arm. (Wait, Elodie?) A flood of words whipped past his ears (Just because she what?!) as he gazed upon his impossibly pink savior (Cursed?) in a daze (Knight?!) as she (oh hey her neck's bleeding how diiiiiidNO) dragged (no no no no) him to (Who's jealous? Why jealous?!) the door and (no no no no no no)

"I beg your pardon!"

Timothy shook his hand free of her, glaring hurt and furious.

"Just what the devil are you on about, Elodie?!"

So. Uh. Elodie? You know how sometimes, when ghosts get reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally cranky, and they reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally don't want to move on, and sometimes they turn into meaner, nastier spooks? You know how your Dad was telling you that one time that you need to treat cranky ghosts super super carefully, because if you, I don't know, grab them by the hand and try to yank them through the portal, that might make everything worse? True, it's a cranky boy instead of a cranky ghost, but. Uh.

...maybe you ought to have listened to some of those thoughts you were having a moment ago, because it looks like the same principles might well apply.

[Rolling to Shut Elodie Down with Mixed Messages: 5 + 2 + 2 = 9. Elodie loses a String on Timmy for her poor life choices.]

[Tatterdemalion]

SECOND PLACE
WEREWOLF MAGNET
INSENSITIVE

“You’re cursed! Bewitched, bespelled, enchanted, hexed, ensorcelled, beguiled, whatever you want to call it, it’s you! You’ve been put under a spell! So we are going to fix that.” She nods, primly, trying not to panic. “And then everything will go back to normal and we can give going out for tea a second try.”

She doesn’t know you’re possessed by a ghost, silly! That’s why she thinks it’s a spell. A spell that Annalee cooked up!

But she’s insistent. Either you can resign yourself to being dragged out the door to go find Annalee, or you can make her stop. It’s one or the other, Timmy.

And with that ghost inside you... I don’t think it’ll be content with just smacking her wrist, right? Elodie really should be punished for being so pushy and two-faced and overbearing, right?

She grabs your wrist again and starts dragging you off. What’s it going to be, young Master Crompton?

[Anarion]

"You're not...you can't be serious." Annalee lets out a long sigh. The kind of long-suffering sigh that lets a whole extremely long day pile up on itself all at once like a sack of rocks. She's ready to just relax, but master Samael needs to see Timothy and she needs to find him. She had been right there! Right! There! But no, somehow he had been invisible at the time. And now that she knows where he is (or where he was at this point, though she was sure he'd be near Elodie after that little run-in) now there were obstacles. Hells below, did people who couldn't fly have to do this every time they came to the school?

"I'm an enrolled student, I was tossed outside the walls with a werewolf along with that spider girl you just let inside, and I've got an errand from both one of the TAs and the Angel, so get out of the way and let me inside." She gives the sphinx a look that says I am extremely tired and it is a bad time to mess with me.

[TheAmishPirate]

SECOND PLACE
WEREWOLF MAGNET
INSENSITIVE

“You’re cursed! Bewitched, bespelled, enchanted, hexed, ensorcelled, beguiled, whatever you want to call it, it’s you! You’ve been put under a spell! So we are going to fix that.” She nods, primly, trying not to panic. “And then everything will go back to normal and we can give going out for tea a second try.”

She doesn’t know you’re possessed by a ghost, silly! That’s why she thinks it’s a spell. A spell that Annalee cooked up!

But she’s insistent. Either you can resign yourself to being dragged out the door to go find Annalee, or you can make her stop. It’s one or the other, Timmy.

And with that ghost inside you... I don’t think it’ll be content with just smacking her wrist, right? Elodie really should be punished for being so pushy and two-faced and overbearing, right?

She grabs your wrist again and starts dragging you off. What’s it going to be, young Master Crompton?

@Tatterdemalion

“We most certainly will not!” Timothy Oglevee Crompton dug in his heels, and refused to be budged. “I don’t want things to go back to ‘normal’, and you don’t want to go out for a ‘silly’ teatime!” How do your own words taste, Elodie? As bad as the Earl Grey you would’ve had to choke down? “Oh, it’s no use denying it, I heard the whole thing. You never even liked teatimes, did you? And somehow, that’s only the bottom of a long list of terrible truths I’ve learned today!”

He wriggled his arm and latched onto her wrist in turn, striving to pull her back into the Spider Princess’ chambers.

“I don’t care if I’m cursed, hexed, or coming down with appendicitis. I am not taking a single step out of this room until we straighten this all out, because this. Will. Not. Do. Understand?!”

[Timothy is spending a String on Elodie. Stay here and have A Talk with Timothy, and you get a sweet sweet XP]

[Tatterdemalion]

SECOND PLACE
WEREWOLF MAGNET

There is sitting. Dria has a really comfy web-shaped chair, and that’s where Elodie has sat her hiney. She is sulking a little bit, mostly because every moment she isn’t dragging Timmy along to solve this problem is a moment where she has to sit and wait to fix things. Jeez!

Take DEFINITELY HEXED, Timmy, because everybody’s gonna hear about this.

She sits. But it is not a patient sits. It is a criss-cross finger-tapping foot-waggling can-we-go-now sits.

“Okay, so, the fact is that Annalee likes you, right? I mean, you already know that, duh, but I know, too. Which is why she put a spell on you. I can feel it! It’s so big and dark and spooky and you are very obviously under her spell, and when you say no, that’s also because of the spell. Think about it! What kind of evil spell would let you think you’re under an evil spell? You have to think about these things logically.”

Problem solved! Okay, now let’s goooooooooo

[Thanqol]

"You're not...you can't be serious." Annalee lets out a long sigh. The kind of long-suffering sigh that lets a whole extremely long day pile up on itself all at once like a sack of rocks. She's ready to just relax, but master Samael needs to see Timothy and she needs to find him. She had been right there! Right! There! But no, somehow he had been invisible at the time. And now that she knows where he is (or where he was at this point, though she was sure he'd be near Elodie after that little run-in) now there were obstacles. Hells below, did people who couldn't fly have to do this every time they came to the school?

"I'm an enrolled student, I was tossed outside the walls with a werewolf along with that spider girl you just let inside, and I've got an errand from both one of the TAs and the Angel, so get out of the way and let me inside." She gives the sphinx a look that says I am extremely tired and it is a bad time to mess with me.

@Anarion

"Yea, like, you say that, but you still gotta answer the riddle. It's. The. Rules," she said, ensuring that every syllable was loaded with enough so much ironic sarcasm that even a trusting dog would figure out that something was up. "So today the question is, are torn red stockings, like, fashionable, or do they just make you look slutty, but in a bad way?"

[Anarion]

Annalee considers whether she might just explode from the frustration of this. Doubly so because somehow G'eldriia had lapped her and gone in ahead. That was injustice enough and now this idiotic sphinx wanted to stop her here. Oh, when she got just a little more magic, she was going to rain fire on this whole place. Even the moat. Especially the moat. For the moment she just seethed, thought about it a little, and came to her answer.

"That's not...even a riddle. I'm just...ugh I cannot even. Okay, ugh, first, I do not care, like, at all. Second, let's cut to the chase, okay? Here you go, they're perfectly fashionable and you look great in them. There I answered, can we skip to the part where you let me in now?"

[TheAmishPirate]

SECOND PLACE
WEREWOLF MAGNET

There is sitting. Dria has a really comfy web-shaped chair, and that’s where Elodie has sat her hiney. She is sulking a little bit, mostly because every moment she isn’t dragging Timmy along to solve this problem is a moment where she has to sit and wait to fix things. Jeez!

Take DEFINITELY HEXED, Timmy, because everybody’s gonna hear about this.

She sits. But it is not a patient sits. It is a criss-cross finger-tapping foot-waggling can-we-go-now sits.

“Okay, so, the fact is that Annalee likes you, right? I mean, you already know that, duh, but I know, too. Which is why she put a spell on you. I can feel it! It’s so big and dark and spooky and you are very obviously under her spell, and when you say no, that’s also because of the spell. Think about it! What kind of evil spell would let you think you’re under an evil spell? You have to think about these things logically.”

Problem solved! Okay, now let’s goooooooooo

@Tatterdemalion

JEALOUS
DEFINITELY HEXED

“How did you even know about the closet?!” Timothy ran his hand through his increasingly-messy hair. Timothy did not sit. Timothy could not sit. Timothy was pacing back and forth like a sort of frazzled, bed-headed leopard. He needed to think. Thinking and looking at Elodie were entirely incompatible options. Out of the question. Timothy could not sit.

A curse, though? A spell on him? Something making him act not himself? That’s, yes, that did make a bit of sense when you thought about it, right? Except, wait, when would he have - focus, Crompton! Focus! Not the point!

“Okay, just-forget about Annie. We’re not talking about Annie. Annie will get her own talking-to, later. A different talk. Different from this one.” He clenched and unclenched his fists, sucking down deep, deep breaths. Calming breaths! Focusing breaths! Sort! This! Out! “What we are talking about, right now, is why, why did you tell your dad that we’re dating?”

[Thanqol]

Annalee considers whether she might just explode from the frustration of this. Doubly so because somehow G'eldriia had lapped her and gone in ahead. That was injustice enough and now this idiotic sphinx wanted to stop her here. Oh, when she got just a little more magic, she was going to rain fire on this whole place. Even the moat. Especially the moat. For the moment she just seethed, thought about it a little, and came to her answer.

"That's not...even a riddle. I'm just...ugh I cannot even. Okay, ugh, first, I do not care, like, at all. Second, let's cut to the chase, okay? Here you go, they're perfectly fashionable and you look great in them. There I answered, can we skip to the part where you let me in now?"

@Anarion

"Yeah, I don't know," said the Sphinx. "You dress like a creepy old cat lady so your opinions are, like, pretty worthless. So I'm going to call that one wrong. Your punishment from here," she pulls out her phone and starts texting on it mid sentence, "is to run down to the shops and get me some stuff. Like, I need panini, but the good kind, and a watch with a plaid band, and full cream milk but it has to be paleo."

[Anarion]

CREEP
WHIPPED
TRUANT (I think?)

"You. Are you serious?" Annalee looks ready to do murder. She has one thing she wants, she doesn't want to deal with anyone else right now, would every freaking person, monster, and animated Hot Topic just get the hell out of the way already? The answer is yes, they would. Or at least, they would find it really hard to get in the way, which was close enough. Annalee started speaking in tongues, trying to chant a spell that would completely prevent the Sphinx from doing violence of any kind, so that she could just walk right past her.

Simple, convenient. Unfortunate, however, that she had just read up on that spell today before detention and in the all the confusion hadn't really had the chance to do something like practice it. So, it was almost certainly going to go horribly wrong in interesting ways.

[Hex roll: 1+3+1=5. 1/5 Experience]

[Tatterdemalion]

SECOND PLACE
WEREWOLF MAGNET

“I mean, if you think about it, we kiiiiiind of are?” Elodie is amazing under pressure. “You did ask me out on a tea date, after all.” Ignore the fact it was school mandated! “And there was the promise of K-I-S-S later, and besides, what else was I going to say? Oh, gosh, Dad, you’re right, I am dating this stinky, sweaty werewolf I’m currently pinned under, we absolutely were doing the badonkadonk, you can expect a fresh litter of puppies in June? You know how Dads are.”

She mimes shooting herself in the head. Don’t think about how often she’s seen the aftermath. Don’t think about that at all.

“I had to get him off the scent, and fast, and besides, we were on such a nice date already, and once we get that spell off you, we can keep going, maybe even make it official?”

She bats her eyes, trying very hard not to think about sweaty werewolves pinning her to a wall and making her sing like a dove.

“Because I’d be lots better for you than Annalee. She’s probably interested in having a hypnotized house husband to do her evil bidding, and that would be such a waste!”

Then she hops up and grabs his hands, pressing them up against her collarbone. “Come on, Timmy! Let’s stop wasting time!” It’s unclear whether she’s talking about wedding bells or having kids, with the manic gleam in her eye, and the thought of Lord Sleepshy or the Angel busting in on Unallowed Activities probably looms large in one’s imagination.

[That’s a 6 on Turning Timmy On.]