[IC] Epithet Erased: Use Your Words

[Kafka Komedy]

Jude didn't expect Penny's reaction to be as similar to his as it was. She handled it much more professionally and just generally better of course, but she too had lots of anxieties she had to deal with. Whether it was relatives or her own safety she was worried about he couldn't tell but it didn't particularly matter. The both of them had a goal-- finding their small charge. Penny looked at things coolly and logically of course, which helped Jude do the same. Her being blown farther into the island made sense-- she was much closer to the storm, and half of their weight probably. Devoting himself to a relatively attainable mission was a good way to not break down into a useless ball, so Jude followed Penny's lead, deep in thought. He followed Penny to the other two girls who were seemingly also having 'castaway jitters,' one assisting the other.

As Jude and Penny approached however, the blonde part of the short pair suddenly shot up, sort of cry-laughing, snot and tears still evident on her face. It looked like she was taking it the hardest of any of them, and had no idea how to deal with stuff like this. Jude frowned. He could definitely relate to that, especially not wanting to worry anyone. He'd be sure to tell her later that he was always worrying, and that his time didn't matter anyways, so maybe she could open up and let some of that fear and sadness out. Another young man, clearly familiar with her judging by the bizarre nickname. He opened the floor to them, after reassuring the snotty blonde.

"We're looking for a little girl." Jude pitched in first, surprising even himself. His tone lowered to more of a mumble after the burst of leadership. "Uh, she," Jude pointed to 'Mad Dog' "should know who we're talking about. The one who was clinging to Penny before... yeah. Ahem. We think she might have gotten carried further into the island cuz like, she's obviously smaller n' she was closer too so..."

Jude trailed off, scratching at his face. He had no idea why he rambled so much there. Before anyone could respond and promptly shut him out, an older woman approached the group. She was a proper adult, unlike Jude, who looked like she had her life together. And a job. She was probably around 35, Jude would guess, but incredibly attractive. Not that that mattered, of course. He sort of shrunk away from her, edging slightly closer to Penny, who was the closest thing he had to a safety net today.

[Gentlemanvaultboy]

As Penny jogged up she ran through what she could possibly say to the crying girl. No matter what she didn't think Godzuki was gonna be happy to see her and she wasn't exactly good at comforting people besides. Fortunately for her the girl roared back to life, snotty nose, eyes red and still watery, letting the whole world know just how much she hadn't been sobbing her anxiety out. It probably helped that her friend from before was there to watch her back, and was kind enough to actually give Penny something to call little miss Mad Dog.

She was about to explain the situation, but to her surprise Jude broke the ice first. From their interaction with the beach cop she'd taken him as the anti-social mumbly sort, an impression that was reinforced as he mumbled the remainder of his explanation after his strong start. She took over for him to answer the dudes questions. "What Jude said. I thought maybe, since you two have both seen her, you could help us look around. As for what happened..." She shook her head, spreading her arms and pointing out all the people and familiar landmarks dotting the beach. "It would have to be an epithet, right? If that had been a normal hurricane we'd all be in a lot worse shape, right?

She thought about the bellow that had rung out over the wind before they'd been swept away. "It was probably an accident. So that at least makes this more Lord of the Flies than Most Dangerous Game." Only slightly better, but she could at least be comforted at thinking that any blood soaked savagery that ensued would be entirely on them.

She shut down that line of thought before she worked herself right back to the edge of a panic attack.

Another stroke of luck was that someone else appeared to distract her from that. The woman from before, the one that moved like a teacher, broke away from a nearby cluster of adults and approached them. Jude backed off as she arrived, stepping a bit closer to Penny. It seemed like he had reached his limit for now. She stepped slightly in front of him to answer the woman. She jerked her thumb at Mad Dog. "This one laughed herself to tears." Penny answered stiffly, humoring her blatant deception in the face of this figure of authority. "But other than that none of us seem to be injured or catching island madness. You haven't seen the little girl she was picking on, have you? Or..."

Now it was Penny's turn to trail off in embarrassment. "Maybe a sword?" she said slowly, eyes on the ground.

[Bluetommy]

The girl tried to claim that she was only laughing herself to tears, but it would take a moron to fall for that, and Aurora De Valera was no moron. She stared at the girl in bemusement as she went through some "villainous monologue", eventually rolling her eyes and pulling her notebook.

"Note to self, pale little girl is a crybaby," she said very audibly, letting her know that she was not falling for the act at all. "But like, seriously dude, I don't care if you're crying, if you're cool regardless I'm not gonna mind." She gave the girl an out, getting a sense that it wasn't going to be taken.

"Anyway, I'm not crying, and I'm dressed in a swimsuit, which is super bogus. So like, no reason to do that," she said, gesturing to her swimsuit, her unclothed arms and legs, and bringing attention especially to a reddening sunburn on her shoulder. She looked over as the rest of them got to talking, but ignored them for the moment. Looking at her notebook for a moment, then scribbling in it.

"I could copy some clothes, but keeping them around would take a lot of stamina..." she started mumbling to herself as her hand continued scribbling away. "I think I should just bear it for now, there's always shade to find somewhere..."

[Octo]

"OK, well, I'm not a crybaby and I WASN'T CRYING," Jessica replied to Aurora, blowing her nose and wiping her tears with the inside of her tracksuit collar, "like Hellmouth says, I just... GOT EXCITED. At the prospect of..."

Shit, what was exciting about being trapped on a remote island with a bunch of DORKAZOIDS? Jessica stalled for a second before snapping and pointing at Jude.

"Finding that ki- wait, you can't find the kid?"

Jessica looked around her and, sure enough, no kid. That was no good. She might've been a dumb kid, but no way she deserved to be alone on an island. Kid was SMALL. She had to be SCARED. Jessica bit her lower lip, a bit worried about the small child, but once again she tried to suck down her dumb EMOTIONS. She turned to Penny.

"Wh- you can't just RESUMMON the sword, Eyebrows? How LAME is that? GAHAHA! Well I guess it CAN'T BE HELPED! I'll help find the SWORD and the KID and fix EVERYTHING as the NEW LEADER HERE."

Jessica smiled PROUDLY and CONFIDENTLY, putting on a face that was a lie to everyone, even herself. But hey, fake it 'til you make it. She looked to Noelle, sneering.

"We're FINE you OLD BAG. This ain't The Most Dangerous Game OR Lord of the Flies. This shit is Gilligan's Island except we get off in the end. Let's FIND SOME SHIT, and then kick back and sip a coconut or whatever."

Jessica waited for the applause that would surely follow her show of CONFIDENCE and LEADERSHIP.

[Lugubrious]

After one boy seemingly recoiled from Noelle, which did not exactly help her ongoing attempt to keep it together, a fellow glasses-wearer stepped up to answer. Penny gave an explanation for the rather unpleasant condition of Jessica before asking if she'd seen a little girl yet. “No, not yet,” Noelle replied with an edge of frustration, thinking of Lucy and not whoever Penny was talking about. “Or, um, a sword.” She glanced between the other kids, starting with Aurora who was talking to herself about being stuck in a swimsuit. A sudden spike of self-consciousness hit Noelle as, for the first time, she realized she'd been thrust into a crisis in a black one-piece and flower-patterned purple sarong. Instinctively her eyes flitted to Jude, who appeared to be purposefully trying to avoid looking at her for perhaps understandable reasons, and Haywood, who managed to look away just in the nick of time.

Jessica, however, provided a distraction by launching into another session of over-enunciation, beginning with a comment directed toward Penny. If one thing was obvious, Noelle thought, it was that these kids didn't know anything more about their collective situation than she did. Probably less, in fact. It'd been a foolish hope that one of them might have answers, but part of her had hoped nonetheless. Answers would have to wait, but that was fine; knowledge came secondary to the safety of her children. As she took a direct insult Noelle's face turned to a sort of resigned, suppressed unhappiness, the kind of 'why do I have to put up with this crap' expression that came included in teachers' training manuals. “W-well!” she said, still trying to sound upbeat and composed despite realizing she'd wasted time that could have been spent searching. However, her voice was strained to a higher pitch. “It sounds like we all have children to find! So, please keep an eye out.” She paused for a brief moment. “If any of you see a little boy or girl with dark hair that turns orange toward the end...um...let me know!”

Still trying to keep smiling, Noelle waved before turning to head back to the others. Not far away, where a stream flowed down from the jungle to form a furrow in the beach, a new figure emerged from the underbrush. He must have been around fifty, a stocky, hairy man with a neat, businesslike cut in the process of going gray from black. Over a white wifebeater he wore an unbuttoned sea-green Hawaiian shirt with a starfish pattern, and he wore a pair of black slacks, making him look like someone who'd been spending most of his vacation in a bar. A whole heap of jewelry and ornamentation hung off him, including an expensive-looking watch, two bracelets, three necklaces, and a piercing in his left ear. Behind him followed a panicky, mousy-looking woman with stringy blue hair, one of the potbellied dads who'd joined the volleyball game, and two teenagers that provoked a reaction from Haywood the moment he saw them.

“Liv! Milo! Hey!”

The youths ran for one another, coming to an awkward stop a few feet away. Liv, a hefty ginger with a seriously pissed-looking resting face, and Milo, a tall, stick-thin beanpole of a guy with big green eyes that seemed to be wide all the time—the buds he'd mentioned to Jessica as fellow Banzai Blasters. Together the three made an odd trio, but they looked happy to see one another again.

“Hey, you guys good?”

“Yeah, 'xcept I bruised my ass on this rock.”

“A frog jumped on my face after I got dumped in the river!”

Haywood glanced at the other group. He noticed that the bald-headed father was carrying little Maggy, the girl who'd been subjected to a sandcastle-based rollercoaster of emotion before everything went nuts. “Oh hey, that's one problem solved.”

“'Scuse me,” speaking officiously, the decorated man held up his hands to get the attention of both groups on the beach. “Hello, hi, how are ya. The name's Lou. I'm takin' charge of the situation.” He crossed his arms. “Until further notice, we're at groun' zero of a heinous terrorist attack, and we don't know who did it. Whoever it is could stab us in the backs any moment, so I ain't takin' any chances. If ya know what's good for youse, you'll stick with us 'til we figure it out. Capiche?”

He glared at the beach parties expectantly.

[Gentlemanvaultboy]

"Shut up it's just sand! They're full of sand!" Penny said, covering up her eyebrows. "It's artificial thickener, it's not real." She gave them a quick rub with her palms. To her credit some evidence of her two face plants into the beach did come trickling down.

It took her a moment to parse the rest of what Mad Dog had, and it was perhaps the only thing that kept Penny from blowing her top at the girl and stomping off into the jungle. At the very least she was willing to help even if she was compelled to keep giving Penny reasons to slap her, such as pointing out her obvious weaknesses for everyone to here. "No I can't just get the sword back. It's not, technically, mine I think."

It wasn't long after that that Mad Dog's friend called out, drawing Penny's attention up the beach to where a small party emerged from the jungle carrying the first half of Penny's quest. She was stunningly relieved to see the girl okay, but less relived when the only person on the beach wearing more jewelry than her started declaring himself the leader of the castaways here. She got a sour feeling just from the way he talked that over-road any qualms she'd had about tramping through the jungle. She turned sullenly back to Jessica. At least when this girl declared herself leader Penny didn't feel threatened by it. It wouldn't hurt to see if they couldn't find teach's missing kids while they were at it. "I'm not in any mood to watch beach politics play out. You still want to help look around? I could probably get my peasants to build a whole coconut grove if I got my sword. Or a boat. Or at least some shelter from this god awful sun."

Speaking of the god awful sun she couldn't help but notice the gradual reddening of the pale writers bare shoulders. Reaching up to the jeweled clasp of her shoulder...vest....thing she undid it and pulled the garment off leaving her black undershirt to absorb the full force of the suns rays. "Here." She said, handing it over to the girl. "I hate the stupid outfit anyway."

[Kafka Komedy]

Jude slunk backwards, hands up in surrender, when Mad Dog pointed at him. Just before that he was content to let Penny take over the conversation regarding the little kid and the new woman and all that, turning to the similarly bathing suit-clad younger woman. She had gestured to her shoulders, angry that she was getting burnt up in all this sun with nothing to guard her shoulders. He was about to unbutton his shirt and offer it to her, but Mad Dog cut in-- offended or something of like that Jude had managed to lose his charge. He was about to stammer out some apologies and self-flagellation, but the girl didn't even give him time, bouncing her gaze and subsequent insults over to Penny. Mad was right, the lady couldn't keep herself from going off about a million different things at once. Part of him silently sort of assumed or hoped she had ADHD so he could have a sort of 'mental illness' in for conversation, but he reprimanded himself for hoping other people were messed up like him. Not that ADHD and depression were even similar anyways.

His attention returned to the attractive older woman as her voice raised-- both in volume and pitch. She too was missing kids, though by her age it was her actual children, not someone she had barely met and was clinging onto as some sort of focus to not break down into a ball and cry. Jude just nodded to her as he turned away, trying to not really look at anyone. The silence after was short-lived, as a few more people stomped out from the underbrush. The little girl was included in this, and the pang of relief she gave Jude was quickly subsumed by an ocean of anxiety. Luckily, he was able to channel that anxiety into an entirely different negative energy. Something of a mix of fear and hate as the flashiest among them took charge.

What a damn moron.

Terrorist attack, backstabbing, 'Capiche?' Who the hell did he think he was. Jude would rather starve here than follow someone so obviously eager to seize power. Probably had some sort of complex. A more determined, serious look replaced Jude's normal dead-eyed stare, and he took a more equal-looking position beside Penny. He didn't want to say anything after, as he knew opening his mouth would let all of the confidence he had just built himself out, but... Penny gave her cape away to the sun-burnt girl and all she has was a black undershirt underneath. She'd fry, could get heatstroke... So he opened his stupid mouth, all of that seriousness and energy flying away.

"Uh, hey, I can make more clothes for us if you guys need. That black shirt could, you know since black absorbs heat more easy or whatever, you might get heat stroke and... You know that wouldn't be good so I could make you another cape or like, a copy of my shirt or anyone else's really. It would tear easy though, I can't make anything really good..."

[Octo]

Well, no one had applauded her. They must not have understood how COOL and BADASS she'd seemed. Jessica had outright insulted the teacher lady, and the woman didn't even have the teeth to fight back like she did before. It was kinda sad, how she stammered and meandered off. But she had lost her kids, apparently. She probably wasn't in the mood to argue.

"One more job to do. Being the leader is tough, but if I want to achieve VICE PRINCIPAL status, I need to learn to handle this stuff!"

Jessica grinned her shark grin, thinking about how COOL the Blasters would think she was if she'd managed to get out of this whole ordeal. Then, a bunch of people emerged from the brush, including Haywood's friends AND the kid! Jessica had been leader for FIVE SECONDS and ALREADY a problem got solved! Maybe she was better at this than she'd thought!

But with them came some Hawaiian shirt guy who was a TOTAL LAME-O. Terrorists? Capiche? What the heck? Even Eyebrows and that emo-lookin' kid seemed annoyed, but neither wanted to really say anything. Jessica undid her twintails, grabbing the copper wire that held one up and the rubber band that held the other. Both copper and rubber were excellent for creating things and for transformations, so she kept a little of both on her at all times. Her golden hair fell over her shoulders as she tucked her sunglasses into her track suit collar.

She glared at Lou with her icy blue eyes, and looked for a moment like the beautiful, austere heiress that she should have been. A certain air of depth, intelligence, and nobility flickered around her. What higher thought must lurk behind that frown? What invisible demons must torment this cold beauty?

Her eyes flickered to Jude, and she nodded at the boy before the entire facade shattered with the opening of her big, fat mouth.

"Screw off, you Sam Axe lookalike BITCH," she said, flipping Lou off, "go back to the set of Burn Notice to act as Bruce Campbell's stunt double because THAT MAN IS A TREASURE and he'd BETTER NOT BE DOING HIS OWN STUNTS."

Jessica grabbed one of the steel poles that held up what used to be a volleyball net.

"My name is JESSICA, and my epithet is FINDING A REAL-ASS GODDAMNED SWORD so's we can FIND SOME KIDS FASTER."

Jessica combined the steel pole and the copper wire in order to create an electromagnet, which she then combined with some batteries she found inside one of those dumbass HANDHELD FANS in order to create a POWERED electromagnet. She pointed it towards the area near where Eyebrows woke up, and flipped the switch. Haywood would know that she was inscribed now, but every second those kids remained unfound was a second they were in danger.

[Lugubrious]

The arrival of Lou's group earned him a collective weary glance from the cluster of adults on the beach. While strangers themselves, they'd already come by a sense of unity through their conversation and plans to both get help and find the missing. This new, even stranger stranger, however, demanded their allegiance and compliance, just when Noelle and Heath stood poised to begin their search, too. Noelle glanced at her husband, trying to gauge his thoughts. Just like her it appeared that he didn't want anything standing in the way of recovering their children.

Harry, meanwhile, weighed his options. “Well...what he says makes sense. He seems like a...well...”

“Asshole,” offered Rosco helpfully and without hesitation.

“Um, sort of,” Harry conceded. “But we should stick together until we figure this out. Whoever caused this could still be around, and we don't know what they want. The more good guys together, the better, right? It doesn't really matter who's 'in charge.' And if the bad guy's with us, he can't do anything without getting caught. Like in the Thing.”

A skewed glance went his way from Noelle, who didn't know what the shopkeeper meant, but Heath got the reference. “I understand, but if we give this guy authority, he could start pulling whatever he feels like. Just look at him, for Pete's sake. He practically stepped out of Goodfellas.”

Noelle finally got the picture, but that didn't mean she liked it. “Enough movies!” she admonished. “What are we going to do?”

A nod from Rosco at the group of teens directed his cluster's attention. “Guys? While we're deliberatin', the kids are actin'.”

Everyone who followed his gaze found that to be just the case. Lou got a good look at most of the teens rebelling against him, turning away to talk among themselves in direct repudiation to his proclaimed authority. He watched them with a stony scowl, but didn't do anything until their own self-made leader, conversely the smallest of their number, came forward. While looking down at her Lou wondered why she'd be the one stepping up to speak for them, but after a moment he got an idea. Something about her, for a brief moment, exuded the sort of selfsure confidence that wafted off the rich and comfortable, a golden bid for the ironclad aura that surrounded the powerful. Their gazes clashed, and for that second Lou wondered if she might be someone important, someone worth dealing with.

But she shattered that possibility in an instant.

It took only a handful of words to wipe away the illusion of earned assurance and replace it with the baseless cockiness of youth. Even one of her own friends, the boy with gray hair, looked baffled by her display. Lou chuffed, dryly amused. “Huh. Seems t'me like you schlubs need a lesson in respect. Maybe ya don't get it. This is a crisis, you see? We all gotta come together, under a strong leader. And a good leader don't take chances.” He gave a dangerous smile, the grin of a fat cat seeing an impudent mouse coming its way. “Lucky fer me, yer cooperation ain't optional. There ain't nobody what can brush me off.” Lou took a step forward, rolling up his sleeves. “You hearin' me, ya chumps? When I'm talkin' to youse...LOOK AT ME!”

All at once his bling began to glow. It glittered a brilliant gold, shining with the luster of the sun. Even Lou himself seemed to shine, and the background behind him to darken, as if he were beneath a spotlight. His luster inexorably drew the eyes of all those before him, seizing them magnetically and fixating them upon him. Nobody could look away. The golden glow burned into the gathered eyes, causing a searing pain, like looking right at magnesium fireworks. At the center of it all smirked Lou, his arms crossed, radiating the power of his epithet.

The adults understood it as an attack immediately, particularly Rosco. As soon as she realized that she couldn't close her eyes Noelle understood just how brutal the move was. If she and the others didn't get relief soon, they could go blind. With that in mind, and her adrenaline-fueled state egging her on, she prepared to charged forward. The moment she launched, though, she realized that the closer she got, the worse the pain became. “Agh!” she cried, tears pouring from her eyes, before Rosco got in front of her a moment later.

Grimacing, he growled, “I can take the lead since I've got shades. Once we got close enough, I'll drop so you can use me as a springboard.”

Noelle nodded, still streaming despite the relief provided by Rosco's shade. “Then I'll knock him down!” But that was only part of the problem. “The kids,” she said, moving forward behind Rosco a step at a time. “They're way closer! They're on their own until we get close enough!”

The clock was ticking. Until backup arrived, Jude, Aurora, Jessica, Haywood, and Penny were on their own against the baleful luster of Lou's epithet.

[Gentlemanvaultboy]

Penny looked back at Jude, pondering his offer to make her another shirt or a new cape or something. "Oh yeah, Remix right?" She considered for the first real time what had been done to her sword, the sudden additional weight that had taken her down earlier. Manipulation and duplication. She looked down at what she had on. It wasn't the most breezy of outfits on the best of days and she could feel herself getting good and toasty even before giving the cape away. "That's a pretty useful power, especially in this situation. Couldn't you just make my shirt absorb less then?"

She didn't get far in that line of thought, because Mad Dog had started talking again. Penny immediately wanted to slap a hand over the girls mouth to keep her from bringing trouble down on them by association. What the hell did, she assumed, the head of a soup corporation have to do with anything? Whatever it was, though, she could tell that the girl had ticked the would be king of beach island off.

This is why extroverts were a problem! They went and said what everybody else was thinking!

Jessica, as she introduced herself moments later, didn't seem to be all that concerned though. She had stomped over to one of the volleyball polls leaning in the ground and did...something to it. Penny couldn't tell, because the girl practiced proper epithet etiquette. What she did know was that as soon as the girl swung it around and flipped it on there was an electric hum and Penny could feel her earrings being pulled toward it. That wasn't all though, because the gleaming steel of her bejeweled blade leaped out of the sand like a flying fish and clanged into the side of the thing, wobbling from the impact. If Jessica's epithet wasn't just "Magnets" she was smarter than Penny had thought.

The good times were over in a flash, though. Literally, as the old Sam Axe looking guy across the way started to burn with the hateful gleam of the sun itself. "Gyaaaaa! You dickhead!" Penny shouted, trying to pull her eyes away or close them and finding both impossible. "Do you see what I'm wearing? I just saw my optometrist last month!" She reached up and ripped the glasses off her face, the magnifying power of the lenses doing more harm than good in this situation.

Earlier she had been will to write this schlub off as an annoyance, but now he was actively being a problem and problems tasted cold steel! She tried to step forward, only for the pain to radically increase and force her backwards. Damn it, there was no way to...

Her hand suddenly tightened on her glasses and she reached out to the side to feel around for Jude. "Jude!" She said, slapping the glasses into his chest. "My glasses. Can you make the lenses less clear, then duplicate them?"

[Kafka Komedy]

Jude cracked the tiniest bit of a smile as Penny replied to him. Even if it wasn't that long ago, she had actually been listening when he was talking. She even complimented his crappy Epithet! This small burst in self-esteem helped Jude take her suggestion seriously. He had never modified such a specific property of an object before, but the positive feelings made him ready to at least try. Even if he failed, he was pretty confident he could make it less black and solve the problem anyways.

Somehow, his good mood was not shattered by Mad Dog's outburst. Even if it was immature, the confirmation that even dumbasses really didn't want this guy in charge would probably spur others into taking a stand as well. She also revealed she had an Epithet of her own, one that enabled her to create some kind of magnet. Judging by her use of copper wires and batteries, she needed outside power to use it though. He'd be sure to tell her to save some batteries for him to duplicate in the future.

Jude simply stood back and waited for some other folks to come up and voice there concerns with the current 'leadership' as well, but this Lou guy was far too quick on the draw. Before anyone had a chance to reject him, he proved himself the tyrant that Jude knew he would be. A forceful 'lesson in respect' aided in the misuse of his Epithet. His gaudy gold chains lit up like he had been hit by a spotlight, the area around him seeming to darken. Jude couldn't look away, and not because this whole thing was like looking at a car crash. The Epithet seemed to force eye contact, even as Jude's eyes began to water and sear. He placed his hands over his eyes, but that was, at best, a temporary solution. He couldn't fight like this.

Penny, however, gave him a permanent one. A pair of glasses, that was right! He took the facial-ware shoved into his chest and, as quickly as possible, Made them more reflective in exchange for their clarity and magnification properties. He quickly made 4 more pairs, all garishly green and gold, and handed one to Penny. For once, his bootlegging Remake would help-- the lower quality meant they'd be even cloudier.

"Here, you lead the charge, I'll stay back and make sure everyone gets a pair." Jude said, before shouting for once in his life.

"E-everyone get close! I have some crappy glasses that will help us not see! I mean, yaknow, see less of the painful--ouch, painful light."

[Octo]

For some reason, the other two weren't congratulating Jessica and telling her how cool it was that she told that guy off. In fact, they didn't seem particularly happy at all! She could have sworn that they thought Lou was a douche too, so where was the ADULATION? Well, whatever. They could thank her and tell her she was cool later- SHIT!

"GODDAMMIT SHIT," Jessica cried out, reeling at Lou's ridiculously shiny display. Was it some sort of genetic thing that inscribed were ATTENTION-SEEKING ASSHOLES? At least Jessica wasn't like that at all. She was COOL. Jessica fumbled with her sunglasses, putting them back on and covering up her pretty baby blues.

The glow was less infuriating, but she still couldn't look away from this guy. Could he choose who was affected? Probably not. If it was the light that attracted the gaze, and everyone could see his bling, then it was probably an indiscriminate radius that lost power after so many feet.

Probably.

"Whoa, this ability is crappier than mine. I can't even think of a NON-INFURIATING practical use for this thing."

Jessica flipped her magnet off and edged towards Penny and Jude's talking. They were in the same place for the time being, and peripheral vision would do the rest. Jessica casually handed Penny her sword.

"Hey, Eyebrows. Kick his ass," said Jessica, taking a pair of CRAPPY GLASSES from Jude. She put those glasses on over her sunglasses, and thanks to the eclipse-like properties of Lou's ability, she could actually still kinda see him. It was barely irritating at all!

"HA, how do you like THAT? DOUBLE-GLASSES," Jessica smugged, turning to where she saw Haywood last.

"Yo, HELLMOUTH! This shit's annoyin', so use SECRET TECHNIQUE NUMBER THREE!"

Haywood was right next to Lou, so he had the best shot at the guy. It would be unwise to call out the actual attack, because then it would be easily dodged. Instead, she used the number in the SUPER SECRET BLASTER HANDBOOK.

And that most secret of techniques, a closely-guarded Blaster special attack, was the legendary...

Pocket sand.

(Secret technique number one was crotch-kicking, and number two was false surrender followed by a wild haymaker, by the way.)

Jessica then readied her electromagnet to drag that beach bum closer to SWORD RANGE once he was blinded, which would work if most of that wasn't real gold.

[Lugubrious]

For a moment or two it looked like class was in session, with every good student learning their lesson. Lou grinned, living it up as the absolute center of attention. Nobody seemed too happy about his display, judging by screwed-up faces and angry, pained shouts, but what were they going to do about it? Get closer?

On second thought, however, that seemed to be just what they were doing. And not just one or two, but all of them. At first Lou thought he only needed to worry about the big, muscle-bound man in shades fighting his way, but even the kids were getting in on the action. Somehow they got a hold of several pair of sunglasses, whereas a moment ago only one sported eyewear of any kind. While Lou figured it must be the work of an epithet, that didn't exactly improve his situation. Now at least five people were coming at him, all with protective gear to mitigate his gaudy glare. Quicker than he should have been to try and assert himself, he might have bit off more than he could chew. Still, the shades failed to totally solve the problem. As their wearers got closer, the strain would pick up once again, putting their strength of will against the raw power of Blingish.

Just as Lou settled in for the long haul, however, something moved to his right. He turned to look only to receive a face -and mouth- full of sand, kicked up by someone he'd assumed to be in his corner. "Kuh! Pfah!" he spat, wiping at his face wildly. The radiance flickered like a light bulb in a power surge, given his opponents a moment to gain some ground. A moment later, however, Lou shoved Haywood to the ground with his forearm. He landed in the mucky beach river with a splash. "Back off if ya value your eyesight, chumps!"

Lou turned his attention back toward his visitors. With free reign to approach and blink for just a couple seconds, the kids now stood a little too close for comfort. Built like a boar, Lou figured he could rough up a few scrawny teens pretty easily, but one of them held what by all accounts appeared to be an actual sword, and who knew what epithet powers the others hid. One of them held some sort of contraption pointed at him, which seemed to be tugging on his embellishments a bit. Having no doubt refreshed themselves the moment the chance came, they could probably force themselves through the last couple yards single-file and dogpile him. Luckily for him, Lou himself didn't need to keep their focus.

He released his epithet's hold on most of his bling, redirecting the power into his gold chain as he pulled it off. "Ya want it so bad?" After whirling it over his head like a lasso, he slung it the kids' way. It sailed toward Jessica's electromagnet, the agonizing brilliance of its luster growing much stronger as it came closer. "Here ya go! At that range, couple seconds and the pain'll knock ya out cold. Sweet relief, jus' around the corna!" The adults, too, could now only look at his chain. Lou himself was a good as invisible. Confident that the chain would incapacitate his foes by itself, he turned to sneer at those spared by his attack, daring them to try and challenge him like Haywood did. "'Ey! Any a' you wise guys try any funny business, ya get yer corneas blasted, ya hear?"

[Gentlemanvaultboy]

"Thanks." Penny said as she slipped on the glasses Jude had made for her. The pain instantly became more bearable as every indistinct, watery splotch shape in front of her was dyed pea green. "This is perfect, they're ruined!" Normally an inability to actual see anything would be a hindrance to someone looking to pick a fight, but this guys epithet arrested your attention totally. She didn't need to see, all she had to do was run in the direction she was facing.

Of course that wouldn't do any good on account of him being a big middle aged dude and her being a teenage girl, but an indistinct green blob with Jessica's voice entered her peripheral vision and solved that problem by sliding a familiar weight into her hands. It was comforting, empowering in a way that Penny didn't like but also didn't have time to examine right now because these two were saying go in their own way and she was only too happy to oblige.

"Got you. You wanted Lord of the Flies old man?" She said, readying the weapon at her side. "Well here it comes!"

She took off up the beach at the guy, just following where her eyes pointed. As she got closer she could feel the effect starting to bore through her glasses, the stinging pain of the light again burning her eyes, but that was nothing compared to the burning anger raging in her guys. She could hear Jessica shouting behind her, calling out for some kind of secret plan to go into effects. Whatever it was it worked because the jerks epithet flickered for a moment. It gave her an opportunity to blink away a bit of the pain but it also meant that she no longer had any exact idea where she was going.

She must have veered off course a little bit, because when the glow came back it was off to her left. Then she heard the guy shout, and the glow came flying though the air at them. Stronger this time, like putting your eyes directly up to the sun. She wasn't sure what was happening, had he come over to meet them? No, no, impossible. That light had zipped over like a UFO, she didn't believe he could move that fast. Besides, his voice was still further away. He'd thrown something, put his epithet into a thing and tossed it at them. Not only that, she couldn't get closer to him anymore because her attention was on this thing now.

She gritted her teeth and leveled her sword in the direction where she could still hear the man, talking. In front of her there, drawing itself on a spot in the sand, formed a perfect circle of bright blue light that would be impressive if it wasn't being outshone by what to Penny might as well have been the sun. The sound of a horn rang out from somewhere far away, both a herald and a call, and with a flash a figure appeared in the middle of the blue circle. He stood there, gallant cape fluttering in the wind as his impeccable armor glittered in the light of the chain, golden haired, barrel chested, with that god damn look on his face like he knew how dashing he was. The Knight stood half of Pennys height, one of the larger models in her collection, and immediately dropped to one knee in front of her. "Fear not my Liege, for your call to the distant isle has been answered by none of other than Sir-"

"Gawain!" She shouted, heedless of how appropriate this draw was to the situation. "Cut the intro. Knave. Knave!" Penny furiously pointed across the beach.

Gawain rose and turned, his eyes swiftly searching the beach for...yes! That one! Robber King he was, bedazzled with no doubt ill gotten gold. His black heart was apparent. Gawain drew his sword and raised it to the sky. It was noticeably edgeless, more like a big hunk of metal than a sword, but he nevertheless grasped it with both hands and began charging across the sand. "Turn to face me, villain!" He shouted in challenge as he approached.

"He was looking away!?!" Penny shouted. "You idiot!"

It was useless though. There were knights that didn't have any problem clubbing someone over the head from behind, but not Gawain. Gawain had honor. Gawain had to be a hero about this. Gawain tried way too hard.

"I am Gawain, Knight of King Penny's Court. Name thyself, villain, and taste the sting of my Galatine!" He said, leaping into the air as he approached to bring his weapon down on the man.

[Octo]

Jessica couldn't see shit except for the annoying light of Lou's cheap-ass jewelry, but she was able to HEAR the distinct sound of pocket sand. Already memorized the handbook... Hellmouth was a heck of a Blaster alright. Lou's shouting and the violent splash that followed, however, were more concerning. Did that asshole hurt Haywood?

"Hey, SHITHEAD! Nobody screws with MAD DOG'S crew!" Jessica shouted blindly into the light.

Just as Jessica was getting ready to KICK SOME ASS, the multiple glows faded and condensed into one singular brightness that shone like a nova. A nova that hurtled right towards her!

If Jessica hadn't been wearing two layers of glasses that acted like eclipse shades, she might have zonked out quick. Even with the glasses, the brightness was too much. She didn't have long. The distinct clink of metal hitting metal gave it away, though: her magnet had managed to attract whatever object he had put all of his epithet into.

Acting quickly, Jessica jammed the rod into the sand! It was still glowing underneath, but Jessica had one advantage over most epithet users that might be able to put this matter to bed...

She wasn't a showboating asshole with her epithet, and Lou had no idea what she could do.

Jessica slammed her foot into the sand, and used her epithet to combine that pressure with the sand surrounding the rod, creating a small area of DENSELY-PACKED SAND that the light could no longer get through.

Jessica massaged her forehead, stumbling, trying to assuage the massive headache that all the immensely bright light had caused, but something was still grating... Jessica could feel something IMMENSELY ANNOYING on the horizon...

The most gratingly over-acted Saturday morning cartoon hero voice she had ever heard started screaming about villainy and knighthood. It would have been annoying even if Jessica WASN'T evil, but as an evildoer herself, she couldn't help but find Gawain's words vaguely offensive. She couldn't even SEE the guy, but she knew somehow that his face was INCREDIBLY SMACKABLE. She rubbed her forehead harder and growled.

"Eyebrows, light neutralized! End it quick, and tell that Gawain asshole to shut up because I hate him!"

Jessica had already seen how Penny withdrew her sword. That, combined with Gawain, made it obvious that whatever her epithet was it was a reference to Arthurian legend. If she had to guess, it was probably 'King' because that's how Penny was referred to despite her gender. How an epithet could be so cool but at the same time so annoying Jessica had no idea, but couldn't she have gotten someone less... extra?

"Jude, right?" Jessica asked, turning in the direction the emo-lookin' kid was probably in, "Eyebrows said you duplicate shit. Could you copy my electromagnet? I think that Hawaiian shirt ASSHOLE needs bling for his ability, and it's CHEAP GARBO. Get close enough, and you can completely disarm him! Just don't nab the sword."

[Kafka Komedy]

Mad Dog followed Jude's lead, running up to himself and Penny to trade her blade for a pair of Jude's crappy glasses. With all of them now equipped the pain was much less intense, more akin to being the most tired humanly possible as opposed to lighting your cornea on fire. Though Jude wasn't really able to see what was happening, he could hear it reasonably enough. Mad Dog commanded one of her friends to do something to Lou. Whatever it was caused the man to lose focus for a few seconds, and reduce the effectiveness of his Epithet. Jude marked that down in his mind whilst blinking repeatedly to try and get some tears into his eyes and reduce the pain.

The break was short-lived however. In a few seconds Lou had apparently dealt with Mad Dog's friend and changed tack. The focus was now much smaller, whirling around before being flung in their direction. It flew right into the center of the group, and forced their eyes away from Lou. It was so close and focused now Jude couldn't help but involuntarily scream and drop to his knees. Someone managed to think fast and somehow snuff out the light before Jude clawed his own eyes out. Judging by her commands, it was Mad Dog. She mentioned some new bit player-- probably that asshole shouting that Jude couldn't focus on through the pain. Before he even had a chance to catch his breath, Mad Dog was shouting at him as well. She sure did have a thing about giving commands huh? Her idea wasn't bad, but his stamina was getting drained fast from keeping all three of their glasses reflective. If only he wasn't so weak...

"The magnet part would be so weak without me dropping the glasses to focus on making that better... but I have an idea. Could you point me to thing that got thrown? I can crash into him and while he's stunned you guys could... do your thing I guess."

Mad Dog guided Jude to the compacted sand that held the forbidden bling, and left him to it. This would probably hurt, but it was for everyone else's sake, and Jude would be selfish for even considering putting himself above others. He released his focus on the glasses, letting them become just sub-par glasses without corrective lenses, and began to focus on the golden chain beneath the sand. It's state in time began to reverse, and it shot out of the sand like a flash. Jude managed to snatch it out of the air, and the again-blinding item flung itself, and the attached Jude, right at Lou.

[Lugubrious]

A boisterous yell from behind Lou drew his attention back in the direction of the kids he'd gifted his chain to. When he looked, the man found a short but remarkably broad man charging his way, which necessitated a double take. Where had that guy been hiding!? He even held a sword, readied in such a way that left little doubt as to the little knight's intent. On second glance, however, Lou noticed that the sword itself didn't quite look real, and neither did Gawain himself. Lou didn't get any farther along in his thought process, for the knight drew close enough to launch himself upward for a jump attack. It was the final predictable nail in the predictable coffin.

“Tch. What a maroon.” Being unarmed himself, Lou had no intention of trying to block that crushing blow. Instead he stepped to the side, his sandy footing giving the evasive maneuver a rocky start, but he did really have all the time in the world. Gawain's weapon cleft nothing but air before it smacked into the sand with a poff, and Lou aimed a ponderous kick at the knight's chest. “Got past my epithet, huh? You musta not seen it. That means someone's summonin'.” He let loose another kick for good measure. “I hate summon epithets! Fight like a man!”

A moment later, however, he realized something. The strident light of his own epithet, radiating from the bling he'd discarded, shone no more. “What? I didn't...” His gaze fell on the kids. One of them did it for sure, using an epithet probably. Did they destroy his chain? Send it elsewhere? Well, he could figure it out once they got wise, because right now one was on the attack. “My gold ain't cheap trash, you chumps!” he exclaimed angrily. “You rotten kids just don't know quality when you see it!”

Another one of them, the boy, seemed to be digging in the sand. While he wondered why, the suspense didn't last long. After a moment the glow of his chain shone forth, drawing all eyes once again. “You buried it?!” he cried in disbelief, affronted that the horrible kids would do such a thing to his bling. He watched as it jumped into the air and sailed his way. “Oh hey, thanks.” Only after a moment did he notice Jude hitching a ride, a spectacle so comical that for a second Lou stood as still as a deer in headlights.

Just a second, though.

Putting the gears in his head into overdrive, Lou quickly canceled the radiation from his chain, imbuing his epithet instead into his bangles in brief but explosive fashion just as Jude got into melee range. “Flash in the Pan!” This burst of light didn't draw attention, but it did dazzle, the strength of the flash hitting Jude like an airbag. As the kid dropped, Lou's chain wound itself around his neck, and the man smirked. “Heh, how 'bout them apples? One down, one to...hggghh!”

He turned a moment too late. Noelle charged into him at full tilt, her momentum passing through Lou as if he were no more than a bug on a windshield. He toppled instantly, hitting the sand hard, and the next moment Noelle ran straight over him. A moment later the woman slid to a stop in the brook, nearly falling over in the process. She was breathing heavily, and her face was wet with tears, but Noelle's reddish-brown hair bore an unmistakable fiery luster. When she looked back, she found Lou trampled and half-buried in the sand. “Wuh...what the hell?” The others, including his group, Noelle's and Penny's circled around him. In a daze, he looked this way and that. “Anyone...get the numba on that truck what hit me?”

Noelle glared at him, looking as fierce as she possibly could. “Train.”

Lou might have said something else, but Rosco kicked him in the side, leaving him a wheezing lump. “Damn lunatic. You might've had a point, but nobody's with you now.” He looked over at Jude, Jessica, Penny, and even Haywood. “Good job keeping him distracted and taking down his epithet. That was a nasty one...takes a real self-centered motherf...uh, jerk to pull that out.”

Heath took the chance to offer a helpful reminder. “Okay, now that's over with, we can get to work. Our kids are still out there, maybe trapped or in danger. Every second wasted here is another they have for their lives to tick away.”

Nodding fervently, Noelle grabbed Heath's arm. “We should split up. Cover more ground.”

Harry raised his hand. “Make sure you're in groups of at least three! If you split up into ones or twos in an unknown area, you're basically asking for an accident or to get picked off. Happens all the time in movies.” He looked over the kids, who'd been the most under fire in the fight with Lou. “Um, are you all okay? I can use my epithet to heal you if you're hurt. Even helps with headaches.”

As he spoke, Noelle and Heath broke off to head up the beach northward, following along the treeline. Every few seconds one of them called out, either for Lucy or for Tucker. While the implication that anyone who could should be helping remained in effect, the others received no explicit directions. The world, such as it was, was their oyster.

[Gentlemanvaultboy]

"I'm effectively blind, but that's got nothing to do with any of this nonsense." Said Penny as she picked her way up the beach, dragging her sword behind her as she went in the last direction she'd seen that light fly off in. She didn't know what Jude had done exactly but she had figured following that light would lead her right to the enemy, at least until it suddenly shut off and left her with nothing but blurred outlines to navigate by. Those weren't agony to look at, but they also weren't incredibly helpful.

In the end, though, it didn't seem to have mattered. Something had gone down after that last big flash of light, the sound of a bodily impact and adult voices causing her to slow her pace considerably. The voice thanking them for their distraction confirmed it, the adults had arrived and taken care of the situation. She was conflicted on that. On the one hand good, great, let someone else handle it. On the other, man Penny had really wanted to at least put one boot to that guy herself. Maybe she had, actually. "Gawain?" she called out. "Did you get him?"

"Nay." Came the reply from Gawain, sitting up from where he'd lain prone on the sand after Lou had knocked him over and then knocked him over again when he'd tried to get up like a child kicking around an action figure in frustration. Because of his armor the only real damage Gawain could have token from that was to his pride, but luckily for him didn't have the emotional capacity to reflect on his own ineffectiveness. "That ogre was a most intuitive foe. I must pay my respects!"

"I absolutely forbid that." Penny said.

[Octo]

As Jessica was blinded once again while Jude hurtled towards the enemy, she couldn't help but think (while cursing VERY LOUDLY) that her first real fight didn't go exactly to plan. Jessica stumbled as the bling flared up, face-planted in the sand, and began whimpering like a puppy again. Her two pairs of glasses fell off just in time to see that old teacher lady ram into Lou like a truck (or a train?) and send the man hurtling to the ground.

Some guy she'd never seen told them they did a good job, which made that sentiment from a complete stranger one more time than she'd ever gotten from her actual parents, and she gave him a half-hearted thumbs up.

"He was a BITCH," Jessica added intelligently.

She took a couple more seconds on the ground before getting up, dusting off, and hanging her pairs of glasses from the collar of her track suit. She could finally see Gawain, who looked just as punchable as she had first imagined, and cringed.

"Could you get Mordred next time? He's WAY COOLER and SUPER EVIL, and if you watch a lot of anime, probably a woman," Jessica suggested sagely, because as everyone knew, evil was not only cooler... but STRONGER and LESS OBNOXIOUS.

Jessica then began removing all of Lou's bling, which would not only disarm him just in case, but probably give her some SWEET BLASTER CRED. She tossed the necklace, which was already on the ground, to Haywood.

"You alright, Hellmouth? You earned it," she said, beckoning the man who claimed to have a healing epithet over, "hey, doc, I got a headache to beat the band. But check on Hellmouth and them first. They were closer to the guy and didn't have glasses."

[Kafka Komedy]

As Jude sailed through the air, barely hanging onto the small metal chain, wind whipping at his face, he realized maybe he was an idiot who had bad ideas. This was especially magnified as part way through his little journey, Lou turned to him and revealed a new use for his Epithet. He somehow made a flash of light so bright it was forceful, knocking Jude loose from the chain and into the sand as Lou was given yet another advantage. The simultaneous pain of failure and of his stinging eyes forced Jude into just sitting their, moaning and wallowing into the sand.

Well that's it. Evil wins, because I and everyone else suck.

Jude didn't pay attention to what was happening for a few good seconds, focusing on licking/pouring salt into his wounds. Eventually, he tuned back in, just in time to hear someone receiving praise. He didn't bother to look. It wasn't him, surely. Still, he could extrapolate that meant the threat was dealt with, and it was time for him to get off his ass and do something of worth. He pulled himself out of the sand as he heard the adults directions. They were much more personal and positive. Not borne out of a need for control over others, but necessity to find their kids. That was something worth following. For now though... he'd head back to Penny.

He joined her (and Mad Dog, who was talking about anime for some reason?) as she was talking to one of her peons or peasants. It was a little knight dude who looked really... oddly angering. Jude wanted to hurt the little thing for some reason, and that made him feel bad. He turned away from it and to the person who offered all of the teens healing.

"I'm fine." Jude lied. He wasn't worth it, even if his head felt like it was split open and his eyes were stilled pained and his vision still splotchy. "Um, once everyone's all healed up and everything maybe y-you guys would have me for like, looking around for those kids and also any other people and stuff since like... I only really know you guys and everything." Jude said to Penny and Mad Dog (and also kind of Hellmouth but not really.)