[IC] LYDIA

[Metronome]

Lawrence sat down on the edge of his bed, burying his face in his hands. Now he wished he'd just gone ahead and chucked himself off the roof. Barbara sat down next to him, and rested a cold hand on his elbow. He withdrew.

"Is there anything we can do to help?" She asked, fully prepared to adopt this grown ass man. Adam sat on the other side of him, and exchanged a sympathetic look with his wife. It was all starting to come together now: the mess, the bad attitude, the crazy mom, the little, faded, circular scars up and down his arms...

"What can you guys do?" Lawrence's voice was muffled in his hands. He looked up. "No offense, but you're both a little too on the "Pottery Barn" and "Dry white wine" side to scare my mom away."

"There's got to be something," Adam insisted. "What all did that demon woman say?" He looked at Barbara for help.

"Learn to throw your voice!" Barbara's voice echoed across the room, "Fool your friends!" "Fun at parties!" She beamed at Adam. "Maybe we can do this!" She stood. "Come on, hun, follow my lead!" She lead Adam out and down the stairs.

Lawrence's mom was digging through the refrigerator, throwing out old take out and griping about there not being any food. "Damn boy can't even stock a fridge. He got this shit from his father's side of the family. I should have left his ass in a dumpster like- DAAAAY-O!" She straightened up and looked around. "The hell?" Was she having a stroke? "Me say DAY-O!" She jerked, as if becoming a puppet on strings. The woman then proceeded into the living room, belting out calypso music.

Lawrence came down the stairs to see what was happening. "Lawrence!" His mom yelled over the disembodied music. "What's happening?!"

"There's ghosts in this house, mom. And they want you gone!" He snapped down at her.

"Ghosts?! Why the hell didn't you say so?!" Here it was. She was about to freak the hell out and run. "I'm gonna' be rich!"

"WHAT?!"

"A real haunted house? You dumbass, you could have capitalized on this shit!" She cackled. "I'm calling the media as soon at this is over with!"

"You're supposed to be scared!" He shouted in frustration. Nothing ever worked out for him, did it? Everything was just one hit after another.

"We're sorry Lawrence," Babara appeared next to him, and Adam next to her. "We thought this would work!"

"I know what will..." A dark look came over his face.

"Lawrence, no! You don't know what will happen!" Adam protested.

"I know what will happen if I don't. Lydia!" He hollered.

"What was that?!" His mom screamed from the living room.

[Beetlejuice96]

Lydia had been moping on the roof, grumbling to herself. If her father hadn't have gotten married, she wouldn't have left, which meant she wouldn't be cursed and be able to terrorize the living daylights out of Breathers. Now, even when a Breather who could see and hear her knows her name he pushed her away too. Literally. "You're invisible when you're me." She said softly to herself before a shiver ran over her.

Her yellow green eyes lit up as she appeared on the staircase to see the guy who could see her. He was calling her name. "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I'm so glad you've come around. You are not going to regret this!" She cheered, grinning cheshirely.

[Metronome]

"Please, let's talk about this!" Barbara begged, but Lawrence was through talking. He was ready for action.

"Lydia," He said again.

"You need to reconsider," Adam said, looking warily at the demon.

[Beetlejuice96]

"We are going to have so much fun! Now just gimme one more!" Lydia exclaimed, almost bursting with excitement. This was it! She was finally going to be free to be the demon she was! No restrictions, no restraints, no one standing between her and her goals!

[Metronome]

Lawrence took a deep breath. Just do it!

"LYDIA!" He did it. He summoned a demon, against his better judgement, with no clear way of putting her back. This better work.

[Beetlejuice96]

The lights blinked out, surrounding the house in darkness as a bolt of lightening followed by loud thunder sounded out. "It's showtime!" Lydia's voice had a dark, malicious edge to it as her arms and head, now ginormous, appeared, swatting away the Maitlands and his mother far from the house before returning to normal beside him.

"It's our house now, Lawry!" She snapped her fingers, everything changing to a black and white striped gothic look.

[Metronome]

"Holy shit," Lawrence was stunned. "It worked..." He looked at Lydia, a grin spreading across his face. "You fucking did it you weirdo!" He laughed and hopped over the railing, running to the front door and slamming it shut. "That'll teach her to screw up my life." He paused, and looked around, then at the demon. "Well...what now?"

[Beetlejuice96]

"Well, in all honesty, it has been centuries -literal centuries- since I've properly frightened a Breather. I need to get back into the swing of things to make sure I'm not rusty, ya dig?" She replied, plucking a spider off its web before nonchalantly popping it into her mouth.

"Any Breather will do, really. Neighbors, your granny, hell even a-" She explained before the doorbell rang throughout the house.

"Girl Scouts!" An all too cheery voice announced. Lydia's eyes flashed brightly at the sound.

"Ah, my first victim...to make sure I still got it, that is." She said.

[Metronome]

Lawrence stared at her blankly, but seeing her so excited was kind of funny. The relief of his mom finally being out of his life and the excitement combined, and he kind of wanted to join in on the fun.

"Ok, sure. But on one condition," He paused, a devious grin on his face. "We get those fuckin' cookies."

[Beetlejuice96]

"Deal." Lydia grinned before disappearing so she wouldn't be seen by the scout. Oh this was going to be so much fun! All the possibilities to scare the shit out of this kid were endless; a creepy clown, full on Grudge mode, the freaky little doll on the trike who wanted to play a game. She couldn't decide!

She watched as the girl scout, Tiffany, went through the whole boring spiel of selling cookies, blah, blah, blah, boring! She waited for Lawrence to give her the signal to terrify this kid.

[Metronome]

This kid was boring the shit out of him. He didn't care about her stupid jamborees, or fun raiser. "Yeah yeah, that's cute and all. How much are they a box?"

"Five dollars, each, sir!" The girl chirped.

"Five dollars?! Damn kid, way to price gouge!" He looked back at Lydia and gave her a wink.

[Beetlejuice96]

Lydia had thankfully picked put what sort of scaring she was going to inflict on the girl, grinning widely as her legs and arms melded to her body as she turned into a rattlesnake with her head attached. She slithered quickly over, baring her fangs that dripped with venom as her bright eyes stared right into the girls bulging eyes.

"I've come for your soul, Tiffany!" She hissed, rattling her tail threateningly. Oh that sweet, sweet sound of petrified screaming filled her ears as Tiffany took off running, leaving her wagon of cookies behind in her fright.

"Bwahahaha! Did you see her face?! I still got it!" Lydia exclaimed as she returned to herself.

[Metronome]

Lawrence cackled. He probably should have felt bad for scaring the hell out of a small child, but he he didn't. Did that make him a bad person? Maybe a little. He paused when a mail truck stopped at his driveway.

"Ooh, back inside! I got a package delivery." He shoved her back in the door and closed it. "This guy is the douchebag who delivered a bent door to me last month. How do you bend a door?! Scare the shit out him!"

The doorbell rang, and Lawrence opened it.

"Package for....Bettle...goose?" The mailman looked up at him.

[Beetlejuice96]

In that split second the man wasn't looking, Lydia moved Lawrence away from the door only to make a copy of his severed head in her hands. She stood before the mailman, appearing as a crazed lunatic covered in blood and holding a bloody knife. "Special delivery just for you!" She exclaimed, throwing the fake head at him.

The man yelped as he caught the head, fumbling it before tossing it back to her feet and running off back to his truck without looking back, screaming the whole way.

"Ah, nothing like a good beheading." Lydia chuckled, dusting her hands off before picking up the package and handing it to Lawrence.

[Metronome]

He was cackling almost too much to hold the box. He set it down and slammed the door shut. "Ah man, this is great!" He laughed, making his way to the couch. He hadn't laughed this much in years!

The doorbell ran again not too long after. "Holy shit, why can't people just fuck off?" Lawrence stood and made his way over, peeking out the peek hole. "Hell. It's that nosy old bat from next door. She probably wants to tell me there's too many weeds in the yard. Lyds? You know what to do!"

He opened the door. "Mrs. Grigsby. What a pleasant surprise!"

[Beetlejuice96]

Lydia grinned widely before making herself fall from the ceiling as if she jumped, landing with a sickening thud along with bones cracking. Mrs. Grigsby let out a shriek from it, eyes bulging in shock. They widened more when the broken, twisted corpse moved into a horrifying spider crawl position that wasn't humanly possible.

Lydia let out a deafening demonic screech before quickly Grudge spider crawling towards the old woman who nearly had a heart attack as she took off shrieking about the devil or some bullshit like that.

"Who needs a chiropractor, am I right?" Lydia grinned as she snapped her bones back into their proper place.

[Metronome]

Lawrence laughed. "That's so fucked up!" He returned to the couch and flopped down. "You know, maybe I should clean this place up a little." He barely got he words out before the doorbell rang again. "Damn, again?" He stood and peeked outside. "I don't know this one..."

He opened the door.

"Mr. Betelgeuse? I'm Ken Tayler from First Union bank. I've been sent to give you this letter and inform you of the imminent repossession of your home."

"Repossession?" His face fell. "I've only missed a couple payments!"

"That's every one that's been due, Mr. Betelgeuse. If you read the mortgage contract, you'll see that missing the first two payments is grounds for repossession. You'll have to be out in thirty days. Have a good rest of your day." With that, the man turned and walked off, leaving Lawrence on the doorstep, pale and looking like he may throw up.

He went back in and slammed the door. "I can't believe this shit!" He growled, "I called them and told I'd have the money soon! I just gotta pay off all these other bills, and the hospital keeps sending the collection agency after my ass, and the rent on the lot is due and-" He stopped as he began making his way up the stairs. "I should have known better. My sad fucking story of a life couldn't possibly get worse."

He looked down at Lydia from the landing, his eyes back to that sad, defeated look. "If you need me, I'll be on the bird bath."

With that, he slunk up the stairs.

[Beetlejuice96]

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute! I am not letting you off yourself now because of some bullshit. I'm going to fix this for ya, get those fucking vultures off your back. Just...stay here, keep away from the fucking roof and birdbath. I'll be back." She said before disappearing. It was time to really make them shit themselves.

"Ken, babe! How ya doing? How's ya mom?" Lydia asked as he walked into his office, sitting in his chair with her feet propped up on the desk.

[Metronome]

"Who are you?" Ken asked, "I'm calling security."

[Beetlejuice96]

"Oh, that's cute. You're really cute, ya know that?" Lydia chuckled as she looked at him. "They're not coming, Ken. Don't bother trying the phone, it's disconnected. The door's locked too. It's just you and me, ya plastic girls toy." She said as she stalked over towards him.