[IC] Somethings Can't Be Forgotten

[Love Dove]

Death, natures equaliser, the one thing comes for everyone no matter how rich or poor you are. Though, was the waiting supposed to be so painful? Did it have to make you feel so weak? It had been only just a week since he had been told the grim news, that this illness was going to be the end of him. Yet it seemed like the pain had riddled his body longer than just a week. It had been suggested to go into the city and get treatment, but if he had that type of money he wouldn't live in this poor little village. Not to mention the trip itself could kill him, and he was stubborn, if he was going to die, he would rather spend his last moments with her.

The sky outside was just starting to brighten, the sun having not yet risen as Jaspin awoke for the third time at least that night. His breathing sharp and swallow, painful as he struggled to fill his lungs with what air he could. It felt as every breath was a dagger stabbing in his chest, it didn't help that the coughing was making his chest and throat sore to begin with. As his eyes adjusted to the room he looked beside him on the bed to see Elizabeth laying there, a small bit of relief washing over him. He was half afraid after the fight they had last night, she would leave. He had after all told her that she should when she had tried to bring up changing him.

"I'd rather die like a normal human Elizabeth! I don't want the burden of living forever, if that is such a issue for you take just leave so you don't have see it!" When he went to walk away he had almost fell and she had helped him, he was angrily though, the fact he was weaker now being thrown in his face had made him so. When she tried to help he pulled his arm away from her and simply went to bed. Jaspin let out a sigh before winching at the stabbing while her suggestion had pissed him off last night, really the idea of becoming a vampire scared the shit out of him. It had been one of the reasons he had been so upset. Still when she awoke he would have to remember to apologize for the childish way he had reacted.

Weakly he used the table beside his side of the bed to help him get from his bed. He was told to get rest, but simply laying in his bed all day and waiting for death was a waste. Leaving the bedroom he walked through the living room into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. It was rather surprising that just the little bit of money from his family farm had gotten him a nice cottage. There was have been room to start a family here if things were different, and his love wasn't a vampire. As he went to take a drink of his water the coughing started again, his empty hand going to his stomach as the coughing made his whole body radiate in pain, his other hand sitting the glass down and covering his mouth to try not to wake Elizabeth if she was still asleep.

The coughing stopped finally as Jaspin looked at the blood in his hand. A groan came from his lips as he rinsed his hand off, taking some water in his mouth before spitting the bloody water out. His head went down to his arm as he simply stood in the kitchen catching his breath.

[mamagermany]

If Jaspin truly believed she was asleep, he was certainly delirious. Between his coughs, his body shaking, and it being nighttime after all, Elizabeth was not very deeply asleep. She opened one eye as she felt him getting out of bed. Soon after, the smell of blood hit her nostrils and she buried her face in her pillow. She hadn’t been feeling well herself lately. She was hungry. She would never dream of drinking from him when he was so weak, of course, and his blood probably tasted terrible by now anyway, but that didn’t mean she didn’t still feel the pangs of hunger stab sharp in her stomach.

Even though it went against everything she knew about being a good woman, she was absolutely furious with him. She wouldn't admit it. She wouldn't express it. She cared for him the best she could, washing the sweat off his body, placing her cool hands to his temples, even stay awake during the day to watch over him. But she was furious. Furious about their fight last night. Furious that he would reject her help at a time like this. Furious that he would use her existence against her like a slap in the face. Furious that he would buckle and accept defeat and death, when a way out was right within his grasp.

Did he understand that he was all she had to exist for? That she had gone at least two hundred years without having anything that was truly hers to love? And after sharing what might as well have been a single day together for all her long existence noticed, he was prepared to rob himself from her. What kind of man abandoned his woman like that?

If they could die together, she could accept that. But living together was better. She didn’t want to disobey his orders. But he didn’t know what was best for him. He simply didn’t. She was the one who’d lived so many lifetimes already. And he hadn’t even lived a single one. If he died right now, he would die full of regrets. She just couldn’t let him do that to himself.

She pushed herself up and stepped out of bed. Her eyes didn’t have to adjust to the light at all as she wandered over to the kitchen.

“Do you need my help now?”

Perhaps she wasn’t hiding her bitterness as well as she’d hoped.

[Love Dove]

Jaspin didn't even bother moving from his stance when he heard Elizabeth making her way across the living room. He had hoped that she would get some sleep. Especially seeing that she hadn't been sleeping during the day, it wasn't like he had asked her to stay up with him, she just did it herself. There was no doubt that she had been taking better care of him, than he was of her. Though could she blame him? He could handily turn around without almost falling over now. He hadn't been the most patient person either lately, though could that really be said was his fault either?

Still he could hear the anger in her voice at her question, yet he didn't answer right away. The first coming to his mind being a snappy remark asking which type of help she was offering. Did she not understand why her offer upset him so? It was bad enough that he couldn't have a normal life with her, but the suggestion that he die even faster, just to live forever. All because he was weak? If she was actually given the choice, would she do that? Did she even understand how weak her offer made him seem?

Jaspin nodded his head against his arm before actually looking up at her. How was it that this early in the morning she could look this beautiful? Even when mad at him? Letting out a slow painful sigh he closed his eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry. I over reacted pulling away from you." He admitted his voice a little raspy and weak, truly it wasn't something he enjoyed, apologizing. Though if these were his last days, he would rather enjoy them with Elizabeth instead of fighting with her. "Thanks for not..." He started moving his hand towards her and knocking the glass of water he had gotten himself off the ground breaking and spilling water all over the floor.

Jaspin frowned cursing under his breath angrily looking down at it. He was trying to thank her for not leaving him last night. He didn't deserve to have her as his woman, and he knew it. He was a coward. Clearly though he couldn't even get a stupid thought out of his head without doing something to ruin it. When Elizabeth went to cut it up he let go of his grip on the sink and moved over to the table slowly as he didn't fall and sit down in one of the chairs. As he watched her clean it up he spoke again. "Thank you for not leaving, Elizabeth."

[mamagermany]

She had taken a stance in the doorway. Her wifely instincts told her to help him too a chair, but nooo, he didn't want her help, remember? But it wasn't long until he'd worked up the breath to apologize to her. Her expression softened. She was so frustrated with his pride, yes, but she was more frustrated with what this sickness had done to him, and in agony over watching him suffer and having nothing to help him, at least nothing he would allow, of course. He knew his anger at her earlier wasn't like him, and she knew it. They didn't have the time to be angry at each other now. She just wanted to take in all there was left of him, as much of the old him still remained.

Elizabeth was so taken with him, she didn't notice him knocking over the glass in time, even though she should have. He'd been in the middle of thanking her for something, she didn't know what, and she just didn't pay enough attention. She noticed it just barely too late. She had rushed forward five steps toward the glass in the fraction of a second it took to fall, but her fingertips only managed to graze it. It shattered to the floor anyway.

While she frowned, disappointed in herself that she didn't manage to catch it, she knelt to the floor right away, plucking a rag off the counter and pressing it to the water all over the dirt floor, trying to absorb it before it got muddy. Jaspin's movement attracted her attention yet again. She sat up, beginning to reach out a hand to him, to help him, but stopped herself. He wanted to continue to do as much as possible himself. But watching him struggle and hobble just to collapse in a chair made her feel like someone had put her unbeating heart in a vise. She bit her lip and returned to collecting the broken glass. She swept the pieces into her hand without a second thought. There was no chance of them cutting her skin.

Not leaving?

She sat right up again, depositing the glass on the counter and wiping her hands off on her skirt. He thought it deserved merit that she hadn't left him by now? Over this? Her eyes went wide and sad, dismayed that he'd even think such a thing. "Jaspin... how could I leave you now? How could I ever abandon you to suffer this alone?" She crawled over beside his chair and brushed his face with her hand tenderly. "I will be by your side, and I will never stop being by your side," she murmured, gently pulling him into her arms and burying her head in his chest.

[Love Dove]

Jaspin had seen the way she had started to reach forward, started to go help him get too the chair. Though he was rather relieved that she hadn't. He had to try and do things for himself while he still could, to sit around waiting for death to finally come was not how he wanted to spend his last few days or weeks with Elizabeth. Just because he choose to except his fate didn't mean that he needed to do so lazily. Plus he had managed to get to the chair on his own before collapsing into it.

Jaspin could see the sad look in her eyes when he thanked her for not leaving, but it deserved a thanks. She could have left him, found another human to feed off, another who was strong enough to treat her the way he no longer could. So yes, he was thankful that she didn't leave him, that she had the patience to deal with the mood swings and not being able to sleep during the day.

He looked at her as she answered his thanks, as she said she would not abandon him to suffer alone. Was it fair to make her suffer with him though? The cold touch on his fevered skin felt nice and he closed his eyes as she let her hand brush his face, leaning his head slightly into her touch. Before feeling her pull him into her arms a soft sigh coming from his lips as he wrapped his arms around her, her face against his chest. For if there was anything he would miss in death it would be moments like this he thought as his eyes closed yet again and he kissed the top of her head.

[mamagermany]

She couldn't believe that he doubted her and her devotion. It could have taken her breath away. Had she done something wrong, to let him believe it could even be possible that she'd abandon him? Elizabeth felt heartsick. She had so much to be heartsick for. Heartsick for the man she had tried to nurse back to health in vain. Heartsick for the man who would visit her every day without fail for the flimsiest of excuses, for a single broken shingle or difficult door hinge. For the man who she remembered how to be a woman and a wife for, for whom she relearned to garden and to bake. For the man who stumbled upon her kneeling on the floor, blood dripping down her chin to her chest, and while she sobbed in fear of losing everything, he knelt beside her and steadfastly told her they would be alright. He should have turned on her then. But he didn't. He put his trust in her, completely. And now he was giving up. It had all been for nothing. Nothing but the pain to last an endless lifetime.

No. Her grip on him tightened. She couldn't let him go. She wouldn't. Elizabeth had nothing in this world besides him. She'd had enough suffering. For once, she was going to keep what was hers. She was not about to let Death take the only thing she had for her own in over two hundred years. Death could make no mistake - Jaspin was hers.

"You're not going anywhere," she muttered, muffled in his chest. The moment after he kissed her blonde waves, she lifted her head towards his shoulder, frowning, burning on the inside. "I won't let you." She breathed in his scent slowly, turning her attention towards that vein in his neck that always tempted a part of her. Her attention was always drawn to it, but for months she'd resisted it with little effort. Now though...

She shot forward and one hand went to the other side of Jaspin's neck, reaching up his head to press him closer to her. It was all instinct now, this monstrous instinct that she'd had to live with and tame for over two hundred years. For a second, she felt completely wild, frighteningly so, but for that second, she liked it, in that second she dug her fangs into her beloved's neck.

The blood tasted... awful. It was awful, like rancid meat. He was sick and so his blood was revolting. She was so, so hungry, but it was easy to not take her full and drain him dry. Elizabeth only took a mouthful before breaking away from his skin. But that was all she needed. Her fangs were more pronounced than ever, and, looking at Jaspin's neck, she could see the edges of his wound simmer and go lightly green as the venom sunk into his veins. She held him close to her, her arms wrapped around him like a vise. This was going to hurt him. This was going to hurt him very much. But this pain was merely temporary, nothing like his suffering and death and like her surviving with the torture of losing him. "You'll be alright," she whispered to him softly, like he'd whispered to her months ago. "It'll be over soon. You'll be alright. You'll never have to feel pain again."

[Love Dove]

He couldn't hear the first words she said, her voice muffled against his shirt as she held him, his lips leaving the top of her head. However, the second statement gave Jaspin a moment of pause, his weak and tired taking a second a understand what she might. As it clicked in his mind he opened his mouth to tell her no. It seemed to late though, Elizabeth had made up his mind for him, the feel of her fangs sinking into his neck, her neck pulling him closer to her. The bite hurt, this wasn't the first time she had bitten him but this time, this time hurt more than the others. Almost as if she sunk her fangs deeper into his skin. It caused him to shut his eyes and breathe in a painful gasp, the air even made his chest hurt as well.

In his already weakened state, for could feel his body repulse at the pain, feel what was left of his engery being pulled out of his body. Then almost as painful as the bitten itself, he could feel Elizabeth fangs pull out of his skin. Before Jaspin even had a chance to gather his bearings her arms wrapped around him like a vise, he first instinct was to try to weakly push her arms away from him. As if he could. Jaspin frowned as she whispered to him, the same words he had once said to her, but this was different.

How? How was he going to be alright? He didn't want this, he didn't want to life forever. Even if he wasn't a horrible man. Jaspin still had his own regrets, and even if he didn't wish to die already, he always that death could and would be his release one day. Now that was stripped from him. "I told you no." His voice barley a weak whisper. His arms came to plus for a moment as he started to feel it, the pain from the from being bitten having blocked it out for a few moments, and couldn't the sound of pain that came from him as his hand wen to his neck.

Now he could feel it, the vemon she had placed in his body, he come for it as it spread through his veins. A sharp digging pain as if cut from a sword, yet it didn't stop as it spread, a sword stabbed into you, digging deeper and deeper and it was slowly dragged down his vein. Mixed with a burning pluse, as if someone had lit him on fire from the inside out. Slowly it made it way down to his chest, his weak heart skipping a beat, before starting to pick up its pace, beating faster and faster to spread the vemon.

Jaspin couldn't help his humanly nature to panic, his fight or flight instinct kicking in, as his arms tried weakly to pull free from Elizabeth's grasp, using all the strength he still had left to try and break free. He just wanted go, why wouldn't she let him go?! Maybe he could get help, in the village. They could fix, take the vemon out. Even though he knew that was utterly moronic, he didn't care he didn't want this. It wasn't her place, it wasn't her place to decide this! To take the small amount of joy he had with her and ruin it. To force him to become what she was. He had trusted Elizabeth, and she used it against him to get what she wanted. Jaspin had barely heard what she said next, and though it should have brought him relive it didn't. How could she tell him it was going to be alright when she, the woman he loved was putting him through this torture?

His breathing was quickening now, forced by the raid heartbeat, until he couldn't breathe. His arms starting to stop pushing against hers, as he painfully started grasping for air. "Elizabeth, help." He barely managed to grasp out. Despite all the anger he felt at her, his couldn't help but feel frightened of all things, his own cowardly fear and pride being the reason he said no. He didn't know why he even asked for her help, but she was the only person he had left, and he couldn't have the need to call for her help.

Soon his body reacting to the pain and quickened heartbeat, almost shut itself down. Yet Jaspin wasn't lucky enough to passout, his body going into shock as he went limp in Elizabeth's arms. He was still able to feel it though, the pain, almost neverending. A few times he could feel his mind start to let him pass out in the pain, and then a new part of his body would start to burn and ache, bringing him back to his senses. He could feel the things outside of his body too, Elizabeth picking him up and moving him, the soft fabric that he knew was their bed. He could hear the words she spoke to him, the sound of the town around them moving, breathing, and talking something he had never heard from their room before. He laid there in pain dying for hours it seemed, every time the pain would numb someplace it would pick back another. The other sign he was still alive being the slight twich of parts of his body or small whimpering sounds when the pain got to extreme.

Then suddenly, it was done. All gone. The pain the breathing the pain of his heart pounding to hard for him to breathe. The darkness surrounding him wasn't that of his eyelids but a dark room, a light shining at the far corner. So this was it then? He was dead? His foot took a step towards the light before something pulled him back to life. A loud gasp leaving his lips as his eyes opened to see the ceiling of their bedroom.

[mamagermany]

It was so strange. Over the two hundred years she had been alive, she felt the passage of hours go by shorter and shorter. They were increasingly smaller and smaller segments of her existence. But these hours didn't pass like the others. These hours dragged by, waiting for him to come to. Hours of her beloved in immeasurable pain and Elizabeth powerless to take any of it away.

She was sitting on the floor at the hearth beside their bed, staring into the fire. Every cringe, every twitch, every whimper, she could feel it in her bones. She could hear his heart beating faster, faster, louder, more and more frantic. The venom was cruel, she knew. It was a fire that crawled through every limb of the body that could not be sated nor distinguished.

She ignored the ache in her stomach all during the night. The mouthful of his disgusting, diseased blood did little to sate her hunger, but she didn't dare move. Not when he could wake up at any time. Nothing short of divine intervention itself would keep her from being by his side when he awoke, even more so if he needed to be restrained. She could barely remember the days and weeks and months following her transformation. That was what newborns did. They went wild. Elizabeth wasn't going to allow Jaspin to torment the humans around town. They were his friends. Even if he wouldn't be able to see them for months, she'd make sure they lived and didn't get suspicious, for his sake.

As the hours dragged on, something changed. Everything went quiet in their little cottage. His heartbeat, which she always cherished hearing, fell silent. There was nothing to be heard but crickets in the distance and leaves softly stirring in the trees. The warmth she usually felt radiating from him, giving life to her cold skin, faded away. Elizabeth bowed her head, as if mourning. Was that not the proper thing to do when someone died? Indeed, by all sense, Jaspin... was dead. Dead. Just thinking the word made her feel like she could vomit. Thinking of him gone for good. She had done the right thing, she told herself. His pain was over now, but his life was not. It would be a different, strange life, not quite like the one before. But it was life indeed and it was his now forever.

Elizabeth stood up and turned to him. For the first moment, it hurt to see him. As she expected, he was as still as death, but expecting it didn't make it any easier. She sat beside him on the bed, forcing herself to keep watch. It was about over. It had to be.

It happened at last.

Elizabeth reached a hand across the bed to the wall, just in case he bolted up or otherwise needed to be restrained. It was inappropriate, she knew, but she smiled. She couldn't help it. He wasn't pained anymore, from sickness or venom or anything. He never would be pained again.

"Darling, darling, I'm so glad you're awake. It's over now, it's all over," she cooed, speaking softly. "Please listen to me. I know you're restless, but you need to stay calm. It's going to be alright, I'm going to take care of you, sweetheart, I'm here."

[Love Dove]

It was over, hours of torture, was it hours? It felt like hours. Now as he laid here he could hear the crickes outside, the leaves outside moving with the wind. His throat and stomach ached almost like he hadn't drank anything for years. Is this what Elizabeth dealt with all the time. His whole body felt cold, and for the first time, he noticed the small things that he didn't as human. The stillness of his body, the small little pricks of his nervous, the beat of his heart that he could feel in his chest after holding his breath long enough. Was he even breathing? It didn't feel like it.

His eyes opened and stared at the ceiling of their bedroom, and almost like she had been reading his mind he saw an hand reach across and push against the wall. A rush of emotions passed over him so quickly that it....it made it hard to think straight. Happiness that she was here, that she hadn't left him. Threatened, she hadn't simply put her hand against the wall simply because it was comfortable, she was trying keep him on the bed. Fear, sadness, betrayed, hopelessness, and angry. Angry that she had did this to him, she said she wouldn't, she lied. She took what little, although painful, bits of his life from him. She ruined everything that they had just to hold on to him. She took his peace.

Yes anger was what stuck out the strongest, it was the only clear emotion he could feel as Elizabeth's voice came to his ear. His eyes started at where she held her hand against the wall and followed down to her smiling face as she was speaking. Happy with what she had done, what she had just put him through. "Calm?" He asked as she finished speaking, his voice showing his own anger. "How am I supposed to be calm Elizabeth? My own death would been less painful than the last hours." He said, his tone and anger raising as he did.

This level of anger was even beyond him, and yet he didn't have the control to calm down it felt. He needed to sit up, to get away from her, and as the thought formed it in head, his body bolted up to get away. The fact she restrained him didn't help matters, even if it was for the best. Jaspin's mind threw into a panic at the feeling of getting held down, and though he tried to fight his way out of the hold, he was still rather weak from the change compared to Elizabeth.

"Let me go, I told you I didn't want this! I trusted you and you did it anyway!" He yelled at her as he tried to get away from Elizabeth. He wasn't even sure why he was yelling at her, he was angry and confused, and on top of it all he felt as though he was straving to death.