[OOC] Chronicles Of Enduwin ~ Fantasy RP ~ Roleplay Thread

[HellHoundWoof]

Hello, I'd very much like to apply. I believe I have a character that will be perfect for this, I dont want to post my application and take up space unless you guys are cool with it.

[Kiddo]

I see you helped yourself to the Compendium, anyway... suppose I'll go take a look.

Edit: Alright, read. And while I'm not the GM, you might want to take what I have to say into consideration since the GM won't be around for another few hours:

I'm going to be a bit mean since you went ahead and posted in the Compendium without any confirmation that we wanted you to do so. The Compendium is for accepted characters, not for random people to dive-bomb with silliness that might not be acceptable in this game. And you nearly had to trip over my and the GM's posts complaining about and acknowledging that such behavior is not proper.

First; I'm unsure if you should be trying to take part in an advanced RP. You seem incapable of using a spellchecker and re-reading your work before submitting it, and the first of these is definitely required for "advanced" RPing.
Second; for future reference, please place more spacing between long sections of your bio: right now, it is very hard to tell the difference between the personality and background sections
Third; if a barebones CS is included for an RP, you are expected to use it, whether or not this is a premade character (as this one obviously is). It's not that hard to copy and paste into the correct sections (for instance, height, clothing, and appearance should all go in the appearance part of the CS)

Alright, and now that meta stuff is out of the way, time to look at what you've got here:
Taurae is not a thing in this world. When you're converting a premade character, you have to fit them into the world you're at, and if there is no land called Taurae (and all the lands are, as they are in this case, named) then your character simply can't come from there.
Actually, a lot of the problems I see with this character arise from this: this is obviously a premade character that you did not modify at all to actually fit the world. Another example of this is the fact that you make absolutely zero mention of magic, though there is a whole spot on the CS for such things (you would have noticed this had you used the CS provided like you are supposed to) and that elves are, in this world, on the more-magical end of the spectrum. Also your character assumes invasion from water (which doesn't make much sense unless you're being invaded from the Ju'ra islands), and you seem to disregard the fact that elves are a long-living species (more on this later)
Your CS is a little everywhere. Elite swordsman/bowman/politician/torturer/philanthropist/drunkard is... weird. I've said it a thousand times before (I really should just make a "Kiddo's Guide to Cohesive Character Creation!"), but you need to distill your character down to a more specific fantasy so that he's not so all-over-the-place.
You need to expand the appearance and personality sections of your bio extensively. Take a look at the other (accepted) entries in the Compendium, you'll see the amount of information that we expect.
And about age: elves live at least twice as long (very conservative guess) as humans, so having a 31-year-old politician would be like having a 15-year-old one in human society. Nobody respects the opinions of/trusts with important tasks people who are so young.
One thing in the history doesn't make sense any way: how did he escape by boat when they were being attacked from the sea?

Tada, that's what I have to say on this subject. I would personally be very surprised if this character made it through as it is right now.

[Callthecops]

I just wanted to let you all know, post should be coming up tomorrow which will throw Charon right into position so that the plot can be moved forward. Don't mean to be holding anything up, I just have a very active social life and plenty of work at university so there are certain weeks my RPing has to take a hit.

[Zran]

Callthecops said
I just wanted to let you all know, post should be coming up tomorrow which will throw Charon right into position so that the plot can be moved forward. Don't mean to be holding anything up, I just have a very active social life and plenty of work at university so there are certain weeks my RPing has to take a hit.

All good mate, take your time, I'm sure posting will slow down soon. (We are posting really quickly for an advanced thread).

[Zran]

HellHoundWoof said
Hello, I'd very much like to apply. I believe I have a character that will be perfect for this, I dont want to post my application and take up space unless you guys are cool with it.

whoa man, I'm not even going to read that wall of text. I'm all for newbies learning but paragraphs please.

[Kiddo]

Haha, that's even more brutal than I was! You don't really want to read it, anyway, it's just a copy-paste of a character that doesn't even really fit the world.

[Zran]

Oh wow didn't see the edit until now. Very good assessment though.
HellHound, after some revision on your sheet I'm guessing Dark would still accept you (maybe on probation) but as Kiddo said, as of now it just does not fit at all. If you care to and feel you can actually write up to standard (4 Detailed paragraphs min I think it was) I will help you through your CS if you like. And if we can manage to be on at the same time. Shoot me a PM if you want to.

Should we make an IRC for the times the guild is shitty?

[Darkmatter]

Zran said
Dark when you get back from your sleep. There is a couple people with sheets in the compendium that haven't posted yet.

Yeah awesomerpg and Nantafiria can be ruled out at this stage. I think they just hit up the wrong kind of RP.

[Darkmatter]

HellHoundWoof said
Hello, I'd very much like to apply. I believe I have a character that will be perfect for this, I dont want to post my application and take up space unless you guys are cool with it.

Kiddo said
I see you helped yourself to the Compendium, anyway... suppose I'll go take a look.Edit: Alright, read. And while I'm not the GM, you might want to take what I have to say into consideration since the GM won't be around for another few hours:I'm going to be a bit mean since you went ahead and posted in the Compendium without any confirmation that we wanted you to do so. The Compendium is for characters, not for random people to dive-bomb with silliness that might not be acceptable in this game. And you nearly had to trip over my and the GM's posts complaining about and acknowledging that such behavior is not proper.First; I'm unsure if you should be trying to take part in an advanced RP. You seem incapable of using a spellchecker and re-reading your work before submitting it, and the first of these is definitely required for "advanced" RPing.Second; for future reference, please place more spacing between long sections of your bio: right now, it is very hard to tell the difference between the personality and background sectionsThird; if a barebones CS is included for an RP, you are expected to use it, this is a premade character (as this one obviously is). It's not that hard to copy and paste into the correct sections (for instance, height, clothing, and appearance should all go in the appearance part of the CS)Alright, and now that meta stuff is out of the way, time to look at what you've got here:Taurae is not a thing in this world. When you're converting a premade character, you have to fit them into the world you're at, and if there is no land called Taurae (and all the lands are, as they are in this case, named) then your character simply can't come from there.Actually, a lot of the problems I see with this character arise from this: this is obviously a premade character that you did not modify to actually fit the world. Another example of this is the fact that you make absolutely zero mention of magic, though there is a whole spot on the CS for such things (you would have noticed this had you used the CS provided like you are supposed to) and that elves are, in this world, on the more-magical end of the spectrum. Also your character assumes invasion from water (which doesn't make much sense unless you're being invaded from the Ju'ra islands), and you seem to disregard the fact that elves are a long-living species (more on this later)Your CS is a little everywhere. Elite swordsman/bowman/politician/torturer/philanthropist/drunkard is... weird. I've said it a thousand times before (I really should just make a "Kiddo's Guide to Cohesive Character Creation!"), but you need to distill your character down to a more specific fantasy so that he's not so all-over-the-place.You need to expand the appearance and personality sections of your bio extensively. Take a look at the other (accepted) entries in the Compendium, you'll see the amount of information that we expect.And about age: elves live at least twice as long (very conservative guess) as humans, so having a 31-year-old politician would be like having a 15-year-old one in human society. Nobody respects the opinions of/trusts with important tasks people who are so young.One thing in the history doesn't make sense any way: how did he escape by boat when they were being attacked from the sea?Tada, that's what I have to say on this subject. I would personally be very surprised if this character made it through as it is right now.

Ok so first off hello. Now I will always appreciate people expressing an interest in my RPs. It's something I created with the intention of sharing with other people who can equally add to it. However, and this may sound prudish, this is the advanced section and as such, I expect advanced standards. That means spelling, punctuation, grammar, formatting and actual depth to what you are posting.

The fact you posted straight into the compendium before approval, immediately after we pointed out Melonhead shouldn't have done so, I find, to be honest quite annoying. Now yes, melon got away it for two reasons; his character fits into the world and the sheet is about up to scratch and the fact I know and like melon. Don't take that personally, it just means I don't appreciate people blindsiding my RPs.

Now Kiddo has already summed a lot of the stuff up here. The sheet needs to formatted better for starters. Spelling and paragraph breaks are definitely the first order of business. Next, while I did say you could use a different template to the one provided, not mentioning magic or lack thereof is a bit odd. Next, you can for sure say he is from Taureu assuming that Taureu is somewhere in Enduwin and you can specify which geographical area. Now before you go about all this, I'd like you to ask yourself a couple questions. This will come across as condescending but it's not meant to be; I was once the worst* RPer here on the guild so I am speaking from experience.

1. Did you actually read the OP post, and thus do you have a firm understanding of the background to the RP?
2. Have you read the IC posts? If so do you think you can post to a similar standard of quality and quantity.

If you think you cannot that is fine. If you honestly want in on the RP I for one would be delighted to have you assuming you are willing to work with me, The others too will probably have no problem giving tips and pointers but we will be adamant on the standards we expect so just bare that in mind when deciding.

Callthecops said
I just wanted to let you all know, post should be coming up tomorrow which will throw Charon right into position so that the plot can be moved forward. Don't mean to be holding anything up, I just have a very active social life and plenty of work at university so there are certain weeks my RPing has to take a hit.

Me too

Zran said
Oh wow didn't see the edit until now. Very good assessment though. HellHound, after some revision on your sheet I'm guessing Dark would still accept you (maybe on probation) but as Kiddo said, as of now it just does not fit at all. If you care to and feel you can actually write up to standard (4 Detailed paragraphs min I think it was) I will help you through your CS if you like. And if we can manage to be on at the same time. Shoot me a PM if you want to.Should we make an IRC for the times the guild is shitty?

Yes we should but;
WARNING: Do not let the IRC destroy the OOC. Yes, use the IRC for chats, but continuing using the OOC for updates, pertinent questions and discussion. The OOC and player communication can be as important to the RP as IC at times.

* Que the 'you still are' jokes.

[Zran]

I created a channel but couldn't work out how to link directly to it lol.

We never stop think we're the worst, just get better without realizing. I remember my first Advanced RP it was Brovo's original LoR... So no small task, I got kicked out for not meeting standards despite trying my hardest. I was so pissed and felt like all my effort was for nothing. Then I tried again and now I'm awesome(Okay maybe we do realize it but we never stop trying to grow, as writers and people.)

Edit: And we still need to edit for spelling.

Also Dark, you are the WORST why would I ever RP with you!

Also PIE!

[Darkmatter]

The Enduwin Magic Box Communication System

[Darkmatter]

Zran said
I created a channel but couldn't work out how to link directly to it lol.We never stop think we're the worst, just get better without realizing. I remember my first Advanced RP it was Brovo's original LoR... So no small task, I got kicked out for not meeting standards despite trying my hardest. I was so pissed and felt like all my effort was for nothing. Then I tried again and now I'm awesome(Okay maybe we do realize it but we never stop trying to grow, as writers and people.)Edit: And we still need to edit for spelling.Also Dark, you are the WORST why would I ever RP with you!

I am actually be very self deprecating the last few weeks, more than any sociopath should be. Probably due to the fit of existentialism I'm having.

Anyway yes, I remember when I thought I was a boss for moving up to casual
Looking at advanced seemed like reading a novel.

*runs off to do something mean*

[Zran]

Sherlock is that really you? You gotta stop bulling the kids, it's just mean.

[Darkmatter]

Zran said
Sherlock is that really you? You gotta stop bulling the kids, it's just mean.

Ah stop

*inserts aforementioned meanness*

[Zran]

Darkmatter said
Ah stop *inserts aforementioned meanness*

[FrozenEcstasy]

OuO

[Darkmatter]

I assume you got the email?

People who need to add to the Compendium:

Sicarius
Inspector Gadget

Everyone has at least been contacted by now right, expect for Melon's orc?

[FrozenEcstasy]

I can't use Chatzy in school.
Dammit

[Darkmatter]

It's ok.

Achievement Unlocked

Inception ~ Frozen Ecstasy
See the complete list of achievements.

[FrozenEcstasy]

Darkmatter said
It's ok.See the complete list of achievements.

Can you email it to anther email of mine? >.>