[OOC] The Demon Within

[Skai]

Yes!

[Lady Seraphina]

Indeed it is open.

Just so this is clear since I've gotten five or six PMs from various applicants about this.

Angels are off limits. This may change at some point but for the moment you can't play an angel.

Demons are Evil. If you play a demon then you are one of the bad guys. I have no problem with this, indeed I think it would add a good variety but there are no Demons on the DIS team.

[Skai]

I'd volunteer to make a demon character, but I'm going to be busy with the RP I made.

[Lady Seraphina]

Would that be the Harry Potter one advertised on you signature.

[Skai]

Yes. I usually don't self-advertize, but eh.

[Jangel13]

Name: Lorenzo Ortega
Field Name: shadow
Age: 20
Position (role on team): infiltrator and scout
Time served on team: 1 still a newb
Appearance: (except with black hair)
Role: Lorenzo is able to sneak into most encampments and bases of operations undetected due to his speed and sense of smell
Race: skinwalker
Special Abilities or Expertise: supernatural speed, heightened sense of smell, can change to his werewolf form in battle
Nationality: Hispanic
Biography: since he was made as a skinwalker in Spain he had to learn to hide himself wherever he could manage he learned to climb trees, how to hide in the right places, and how to smell out his prey before he could even change to human form. everything he was taught was so he could survive but Lorenzo wanted more then that, he wanted to truly live. although one day Lorenzo got cocky and tried to sneak around a city and obviously it backfired on him when he tried to change into his wolf form in an alleyway and instead was caught by a few people who happened to look his way and he was eventually caught and was about to be killed but a kind hearted human who knew that despite what Lorenzo was he was still a child. he helped Lorenzo escape and Lorenzo lived to fight another day his name was Lukas he helped smuggle Lorenzo away from the town and through the trip Lorenzo saw Lukas show mercy and kindness to children and sick people and he kept teaching Lorenzo that life is better when helping another Lorenzo understood and thanks to Lukas influence unfortunately Lukas was only able to smuggle Lorenzo towards DIS Letting Lorenzo know that he had to calm prior down back home while Lorenzo understood he was sad to see the person that treated him almost like a son as he left Lorenzo wanted to protect people he knew their was good in mortals if one knew where to look so he decided he had to protect humans that couldn't protect themselves he had to spend years to figure out how to be a full human right before he found D.I.S and he gave his trust in them by telling them what he was and his intentions and he was lucky once again as a few people saw how useful askinwalkers were to the cause when it came to tracking or sneaking in so they realized that if Lorenzo wanted to sneak in he would have instead of just walking in and talking to them. so with that he started as an infiltrator
Personality: a hard worker and somewhat of a silent type but a perfectionist in whatever he does. has a strong sense of right and wrong and prefers to protect innocent people but wouldn't be against hurting bad ones
Campus Cover: track coach
Trivia: because of his sense of smell he hates going near garbage or anything with a strong smell

[Lady Seraphina]

Alright let's start with the basics. Someone who can transform at will is a Skinwalker not a Werewolf. Werewolves only transform on the full moon.

I'm not sure what he would be if was born a wolf and learned to take human form.

Where are you living that public lynching is legal? He's only twenty so this isn't during the Spanish Inquisition.

If his only experience with Humans is an entire city attempting to kill him where exactly did he learn there was good in humans? It seems like a bit of a leap from "About to be killed by humans" to "Defender of the Weak"

I think you might have the wrong idea about the DIS. You didn't write much about them but the idea I got from what you did write is that there some sort of extermination squad and only the most lucky Supernatural Creatures make it into there ranks. This is not so. If the DIS' job was to eradicate Supernatural forces they would have crumbled long ago. What they do is keep it manageable, they hunt the destructive forces. They don't have a problem with Werewolves, they have a problem with Werewolves who eat people. You wouldn't have needed to get lucky to get into the DIS or not be killed by them. All you'd need is to secure with them the knowledge that you aren't a risk to humans and pass the physical, psychological and mental entrance exams. If you didn't pass you would be turned away not killed.

Last and least, this is a small one but his name changed about halfway through the Bio from Lorenzo to Angelo.

Overall he isn't a bad character but his Bio needs some major flushing out, at the moment his past doesn't seem consistent and I don't have any idea where his life has been previously.

[Jangel13]

okay so when was the Spanish inquisition?

I also like to stand by the fact that when an entire town is against you having a single person that sees you as a person instead of a monster can be very influential in a person believing in the good in a few people.

yeah that's my fault im still trying to understand everything about the DIS and I didn't know their reaction so I just guess

[Skai]

The Spanish Inquisition was from 1478 to 1834. I also would like to mention that you may want to improve your grammar/spelling.

[Lady Seraphina]

The Spanish Inquisition was from 1478 to its decline in 1834, though the violent portion that people usually associate with the Spanish Inquisition was from about 1540 to somewhere in the 1700s, records weren't well kept at the time.

That doesn't really have any bearing here though since despite all of the physical benefits of being a Werewolf they still only have a standard human lifespan.

That was really more of a minor point, the thing you didn't address is the legality of lynching someone even if they appear to be a monster, why they thought him a monster, was he caught mid transformation, why did he not go into town as human, if he went in as a wolf why was he not merely shooed out rather than lynched. What happened to this person that saved him, do they have a name, did he start living with this person. Is this person dead.

You covered the whole ordeal in less than two sentences leaving everyone reading with very little idea exactly what happened.

You failed to address my question of what is he. Apart from that fact that he transforms between human and wolf nothing in you description is congruent with any known werewolf lore.

His name changed about halfway through the Bio from Lorenzo to Angelo.

[TheUnknowable]

In some lore (at least pop culture type stuff, like Buffy, Skyrim, and Underworld) can't werewolves learn to change on their own, or at least with other stimuli than the full moon?

[Jangel13]

Can I ask if it's possible to have like military or national guard try to kill me instead cause of the fact that I changed? Lynching is hard to explain even if I'm in an old village that believes in vigilantes rather then police our military considering is small.
What about lycans?

http://lycan.us/Lycan_vs._Werewolf.html

I'm sorry I'm giving you all these questions I just want to make sure it's right

[Lady Seraphina]

Lycans originated in Greece, they were exaggerated tales of men with rabies that evolved into its own folklore. They are skinwalkers.

There are a variety of differences between the two but most modern myth systems treat them as the same thing.

It is your CS do what you will with it as long as it makes sense.

[Jangel13]

I changed it to skinwalker and explained the moral compass

[Lady Seraphina]

Most skinwalkers aren't born, they are made just like werewolves but the ones that are born are born human, wolf transformation comes later.

Aside fro several inconsistencies the main problem is still present, your being agonizingly vague with his entire past using as few words as possible to describe it. A CS is were you put up all the relevant information for the GM to view. No doubt you know who this character is but unless you write it down I have no way to know what you are thinking. If the village experience is the only thing in his life worth talking about go into as much detail as possible. Try talking about home, life with a pack. I am more that willing to help you flesh out you character but first there has to be something to build on. Right now your CS is just a bunch of vague ideas.

[Jangel13]

I messaged you for help so my guy can be more established

[WileyCoyote]

Are we waiting for more people?

[Lady Seraphina]

Not for new members. We have six good guys and one villain so there we're good. We're waiting on a number of people to respond to the briefing that's being held.

We're waiting on Zherdee who's playing Listener and well you. I added to you to the briefing line up to replace the Vampire that backed out. Also I need a Field Name for you.

[Lady Seraphina]

Hey guys, so I created a new OOC, partly because I thought up a better name, but mostly so I could add a Bestiary to the top of the OOC. If there's any creatures that you want me to add to it I'd be more than happy to do so. It's not finished yet but will be soon, sorry it looks like you're going to have to repost the stuff from the IC but we weren't that far in so it shouldn't matter too much.

Bound to the Abyss

[WileyCoyote]

Oh alright thanks! Didn't realize I was edited into the briefing. Will get a post up on the new IC then.
Also, I'll get a field name up too.