Anyways, I'd go on in detail about just how awesome the school is, but then...that's actually sorta boring. Just be polite, greet everyone that looks like they're older than you, give the janitor a nickel, and Lyss will do all the tour-guiding, alright? Have a fun and productive school life in Hell, you corpses~”
“...Yeah...I don't actually feel like giving you brats a tour as well, so just listen to the pamphlet or something.”
<<Tu tu ru~ You have received 'Speaking Pamphlet'>>
Academia Abyssus is a pretty cool place, you know? It's like...all big imposing final-boss-esque towers and buildings, constructed with black hellstones and covered with avant-garde works from our resident janitor, Laim Sleot! I would say that, roughly, school grounds cover a perimeter of ten kilometers by ten kilometers, but, you know, we have no walls, so technically, everywhere's the school, as long as you're a student! And that also means that you can never run out of school, so you might as well abandon all hope and sit through your classes like a good student!
Oh wait, actually, sorry, you won't be sitting much at all. You see, it's been scientifically proven that humans think better and learn faster when they're on their feet, doing hands-on training, so don't be surprised when most of the classrooms you see do not have the conventional chair-and-desk combination. Actually, don't be surprised if the classroom doesn't look like a classroom at all. Our Great Leader, Luu DeSeras, sorta has complete control over the school, so yea, reality is her bitch as well. While I don't really care whether your brain explodes when a door to a class leads to a desert, I'm a nice girl, so that's just a little bit of a warning~
Anyways, we don't really have an infirmary or a hospital, because if you're sick or injured, you should just jump off a building and resurrect-heal yourself, so it's a-okay~ You also don't need to eat, drink, or shit, so those are really just luxuries.
Luxuries that you won't be able to indulge in, since you only get money for those things by getting a job! Or getting loans. I wouldn't recommend loans, especially from the Rishei Hoard. They're sorta an edgy group of peeps, so make sure you never sign a contract with them! Even if they promise to make you a magical girl! So get a job, you useless bums~!
Anyways, lemme think about what else there is...
Oh yeah, right, basically, death will heal you, but it won't heal your clothes! So please, wash your clothing thoroughly every chance you get. As an alumni, I would say that detergent and a drying rack, as well as extra clothes, would actually be the most important items around. You wouldn't want to come to class stinking like a pig in bloodied, ragged human clothing, would you? Which reminds me! We have a tailor's shop, who'll fix all your clothing up for free. She's a bit of a witch though, so, you know...just so we're clear, 'free' means that she won't be asking for money. It's perfectly in her rights to ask about other things though. Just so we're clear~
Academia Abyssus functions as a city in and of itself, with most business establishments run by former students, with lots of part-timers being current students themselves. Your student card, which you'll get after you get into your dorms, will serve as your identification, dorm keys, money card, status menu, telephone, and pretty much everything else that's rad and hip. And it also has Angry Birds! Of course, if you lose it, you're fucked. Until the issue is cleared, you'll literally be able to do nothing at all. Yeah. It sucks...qq I crai every time I remember that...
Kssshhhbzzzkkkhhhh...
Well, sorry for that little interruption, underclassmen and women. Well, more like boys and girls...huehuehue...there's a few school rules you'll have to follow.
First off, killing people is alright, but if you kill the same person too often, that's called griefing, and you'll get your ass kicked by the janitor or the ferryman, whoever gets a student-beating break first. Why? Because it's not nice! You kill people to get stronger, not just for the fun of it!
Second, while stealing things isn't actually banned...I will find you, and I will kill you, if you steal someone's student card. Everything else is alright, of course~! Most items are protected in one way or the other though, so be careful, future Lupins and Kaitos~!
Third, sexual offenders are bad. Don't be a creep. Just because everyone's in Hell doesn't mean that there's no standards here. It's not like doujin-Japan or something. Same thing with imprisonment and slavery. Let's all be progressive and healthy-minded individuals here, alright? Not like those sa- ah, never mind!
Fourth, don't be a little bitch. Stop whining and man the fuck up. Don't take drugs, because most of those things do damage to you on a spiritual-level. Which means you can't recover from it. Which means that you'll be scarred4lyfe if you do that! Of course, there's those really expensive procedures in which you can cleanse your soul...but those are done by fallen angels, and they're a REALLY elitist bunch. 'cept for Lu-lu though. He's oh-so perfectly dreamy~ <3
Fifth...hm...oh yeah, right, when there's a sign that tells you not to go somewhere, please don't disregard. People who are too curious die. Perma-die. Yami-Yugi mind-crushed and soul-sucked die. Not a good way to die permanently, if I say so myself. Ah, but that's the one way you can drop out of school without going into other Hells though. So I would actually recommend it if you don't want to go through eternal torment at the hands of the less civilized peeps.
But yeah! Have fun, grow up strong, eat your veggies, and send me a picture of your face! Especially if you look like an animu or mango character, like everyone else in this part of Hell!
Character List
Iphigenia Tsubame, Waltz of Scattered Roses
Wendy Wayne, The Blood-Sky
Kazami Takeshi, Blank in Black
Sorella, Personacentric
Ren Mato, Sovereign of Chains
