The YOU Testament

[BrobyDDark]

A horribly made game about life as a disciple of Jesus that has the worst combat function ever. Also, I think I accidentally killed Jesus by stabbing him one too many times with the spear. Yes, I stabbed Jesus with a spear.

I also killed a Roman Guard for taking my sword and spent the last minutes of my first play-through of the game stabbing a woman for attempting to take my sword and beating a dying man for not staying dead (seriously, how was I supposed to know that he hadn't died yet?) Now I'm wanted in two parts of the map for murder and hoping to make it three.

Also my character has Beatles hair and is almost nine-feet tall with 100 strength.

[natsumehack]

BrobyDDark said
A horribly made game about life as a disciple of Jesus that has the worst combat function ever. Also, I think I accidentally killed Jesus by stabbing him one too many times with the spear. Yes, I stabbed Jesus with a spear.

I also killed a Roman Guard for taking my sword and spent the last minutes of my first play-through of the game stabbing a woman for attempting to take my sword and beating a dying man for not staying dead (seriously, how was I supposed to know that he hadn't died yet?) Now I'm wanted in two parts of the map for murder and hoping to make it three.

YOU FOOL HOW WILL YOU LEARN THE SUPER POWERS JESUS WILL TEACH YOU, LIKE MIND CONTROL!

I know the game you are playing.

[BrobyDDark]

natsumehack said
YOU FOOL HOW WILL YOU LEARN THE SUPER POWERS JESUS WILL TEACH YOU, LIKE MIND CONTROL!

I know the game you are playing.

Figured you would know :p

I WANT the mind-control power, but I also want to mercilessly slaughter the people trying to take my special sword. What should I do?

[natsumehack]

BrobyDDark said
Figured you would know :pI WANT the mind-control power, but I also want to mercilessly slaughter the people trying to take my special sword. What should I do?

there a shit ton of powers you get from jesus there a skill tree for it.

[ActRaiserTheReturned]

BrobyDDark said
A horribly made game about life as a disciple of Jesus that has the worst combat function ever. Also, I think I accidentally killed Jesus by stabbing him one too many times with the spear. Yes, I stabbed Jesus with a spear.

I also killed a Roman Guard for taking my sword and spent the last minutes of my first play-through of the game stabbing a woman for attempting to take my sword and beating a dying man for not staying dead (seriously, how was I supposed to know that he hadn't died yet?) Now I'm wanted in two parts of the map for murder and hoping to make it three.

Pics or it didn't happen.

Also, link?

[BrobyDDark]

ActRaiserTheReturned said
Pics or it didn't happen.Also, link?

http://www.mdickie.com/prev_youtestament.htm}Link.[/url

[Dervish]

BrobyDDark said

That is the most dead-eyed motherfucker I have ever seen in my life.

Probably because he's being attacked by a vampire in a sports bra.

[BrobyDDark]

Dervish said
That is the most dead-eyed motherfucker I have ever seen in my life. Probably because he's being attacked by a vampire in a sports bra.

Jesus stares into your soul forever.

[Protagonist]

That has got to be the weirdest idea for a game ever. Why? Here's pretty much the job description for Jesus's disciples:

1. Follow your boss around.

2. Ask your boss stupid questions that make him groan.

3. Stand in awe when your boss beat does awesome things, like turn water into wine. Or ask a storm to shut up (and have it obey). Or terrify an army of demons. Or come back from the dead.

4. Get executed by roman soldiers.

[natsumehack]

Protagonist said
That has got to be the weirdest idea for a game ever. Why? Here's pretty much the job description for Jesus's disciples:1. Follow your boss around.2. Ask your boss stupid questions that make him groan.3. Stand in awe when your boss beat does awesome things, like turn water into wine. Or ask a storm to shut up (and have it obey). Or terrify an army of demons. Or come back from the dead.4. Get executed by roman soldiers.

Given how badly program the game is, you can get Jesus to make wine out of WINE!

THE POWER OF JESUS PEOPLE!

[BrobyDDark]

Protagonist said
That has got to be the weirdest idea for a game ever. Why? Here's pretty much the job description for Jesus's disciples:1. Follow your boss around.2. Ask your boss stupid questions that make him groan.3. Stand in awe when your boss beat does awesome things, like turn water into wine. Or ask a storm to shut up (and have it obey). Or terrify an army of demons. Or come back from the dead.4. Get executed by roman soldiers.

You forget that the programmer had no god-damn clue what he was doing. As far as I'm concerned, the only story in the game is "Do things to acquire Mind Control powers and the ability to shoot lightning, or some shit. Then kill people with lightning and mind controlled Jesus."

[Protagonist]

BrobyDDark said
You forget that the programmer had no god-damn clue what he was doing. As far as I'm concerned, the only story in the game is "Do things to acquire Mind Control powers and the ability to shoot lightning, or some shit. Then kill people with lightning and mind controlled Jesus."

Well, I'm saying that even if you had Ken Levine and Miyamoto come over and take over RareWare and Valve, and had them work on that game...I'm not sure if they could pull it off. Actually, truth is, they probably wouldn't even try, and then make an awesome game instead.

[AreYouMyMummy]

This is horrible. D:

[AreYouMyMummy]

Protagonist said
That has got to be the weirdest idea for a game ever. Why? Here's pretty much the job description for Jesus's disciples:1. Follow your boss around.2. Ask your boss stupid questions that make him groan.3. Stand in awe when your boss beat does awesome things, like turn water into wine. Or ask a storm to shut up (and have it obey). Or terrify an army of demons. Or come back from the dead.4. Get executed by roman soldiers.

Son, don't hate on Christianity. just don't. -_-

[Protagonist]

AreYouMyMummy said
Son, don't hate on Christianity. just don't. -_-

I'm not hating on Christianity. I AM a christian. I'm simply stating that it'd kind of be a hard thing to systemize.

[Barioth]

BrobyDDark said
A horribly made game about life as a disciple of Jesus that has the worst combat function ever. Also, I think I accidentally killed Jesus by stabbing him one too many times with the spear. Yes, I stabbed Jesus with a spear.

I also killed a Roman Guard for taking my sword and spent the last minutes of my first play-through of the game stabbing a woman for attempting to take my sword and beating a dying man for not staying dead (seriously, how was I supposed to know that he hadn't died yet?) Now I'm wanted in two parts of the map for murder and hoping to make it three.

You like this shit? You'll like Hard Time.

[BrobyDDark]

Barioth said
You like this shit? You'll like Hard Time.

It's made by the same person, apparently.

[K-97]

Can you mind control Romans yet?

[BrobyDDark]

K-97 said
Can you mind control Romans yet?

Nope. I was to busy getting the shit kicked out of me by midgets to do the story.