[OOC] Beyond a Fire's Embers

[Genkai]

Yes, you deserve some spoiling. and hopefully they'll have some after holiday sales for you to take advantage of.

Okay, looking forward to it. :3

[mmidnight]

Hopefully! They didn't have any discounts when I went to place my order. I even used retailmenot but nope, full price.

[Genkai]

Time will tell. Online hunting and luck will hopefully be on your side though. If you have any recommendations, I'd love to hear about em.

[mmidnight]

I can definitely recommend that soap. I got my mom some hand cream and I got my girlfriend some shower gel although I might be keeping that for me since I think we're about to break up like right now. I'm going to keep working on this post though because I'd rather be distracted than feel like shit and cry.

[Genkai]

What's the soap killed? My showers need some life! I'm bored of my usual stuffs. And yes, keep that stuff for you, no need to keep investing in something that you feel won't go much father. I'm sorry to hear that though. *hugs* But yes, we can talk about something much better and less depressing!

may cause a party

[mmidnight]

Dirty Soap. It kind of smells like toothpaste, but there's something different to it. I'm just really, idk. We had problems because of me, I've been trying my ass off and it's like, rejection after rejection and I'm just supposed to take it because I'm not allowed to be mad or upset about anything anymore. Like, ever. And she's busy and stressed with school and her family and I'm trying not to make things worse but I feel like she hates me most of the time and I'm tired of being hurt and just expected to live with it. Sorry for venting, I'm just upset right now. She says we're doing better but obviously not.

[Genkai]

The reviews seem good, I'll have to try some of that when my bank account allows for it. :3 Thanks for sharing.

I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like you both may be in different places if you feel like you're trying and she isn't. And even more so if you feel hated, that's awful. There's nothing worse than feeling rejected and/or ignored/misunderstood. And if she's busy with family and stuff and perceives things as good then it's obvious you're both not invested, or at least she isn't paying much mind to it and if you're unhappy, you should break it off. Your unhappiness and discontent might make things worse in the long for you both. You deserve to be happy and so does she and it's clearly not working well anymore. I hope things work out for the best though...trust me, hanging onto a bad relationship for someone's sake just hurts you and them. *hugs tight* Whatever you do, I'm here if you need me, even if my knowledge is pretty limited...heh.

[mmidnight]

You're welcome. I'll let you know how my mom likes the hand cream and how I or my girlfriend like the shower gel. If it helps any, it's called Rose Jam and it smells amazing through the label.

She tried for the last year and I basically told her to go fuck herself. It was wrong of me and I messed up and I've started to make it right. I understand her reservations and everything else but idk, a little encouragement would be nice? something to say, hey rachel, i don't fucking hate you, i really love you and this is worth it. but her mind is on her finals right now and she thinks she's about to be kicked out of her house and she's not in a great place, so I feel like I owe it to stay and be there for her. I don't want to break up but I just feel like this how it's going to be from now on and it's really getting to me. I don't like feeling scared and worried and upset all the time and wondering if she's going to text or call me and just be like, sup it's over, fuck you.

[Genkai]

Rose Jam sounds good. It also sounds good even though I don't like eating roses...lol

It sounds like you should be talking to her about it, maybe after finals but tell her how you're feeling and how you want to stay committed and how you do care and just want some assurance that she does too. And then maybe the hardship doesn't feel one sided but is something you share and fix together. But again, if you feel obligated due to the past, to stay, it might not be healthy. But that's something you need to decide together.

[mmidnight]

It smells amazing. I wish I would have gotten some things for myself, but I was already salty over spending 44 dollars on tea and wasn't looking to spend more than I had to. Also, I'm like, almost halfway done with this post and I'm super sorry that it's taking so long.

We have talked about it. I think she hears me but she just can't do much about things right now when she's so stressed. She doesn't handle stress very well and I don't want to tell her this but I don't think she's the type for college. She's very smart but she puts a lot of pressure on herself and it's really messing with her. But whatever. It seems sorted for right now, but I'm just blah about it atm.

[Genkai]

Don't worry about it, I'm sure it's worth the wait.

It sounds like a rough patch that you can surely overcome if you give it some time to settle so you can both approach things and have some time together without all the outside stress of the world. :/

[mmidnight]

I hope it is! I feel pretty good about it right now and not like I'm rambling or wonder what to say.

I hope so. Her one final that she was really worried about is over now, but she just stresses way too much. She was upset because she got a 75 on a quiz when she had an A in the class. College is super rough on perfectionists and I keep wanting to tell her there's no shame in admitting that it's not for you. Sorry to vent on you D; I feel really annoying when I complain about my problems.

[Genkai]

That's good. :3

No don't worry, I don't mind you venting, it seems like you need to and you should. ^^ I just wish I had something useful tell you. But I do hope things work out for you both. Maybe you two can reconnect when finals and school take a break for a bit.

[mmidnight]

Are you sure? I always feel super annoying when I talk about myself, like no one wants to hear what's wrong so just shut up.

On the plus side, a commercial for Little Manhattan came on and I looked up to see baby Josh Hutcherson and I thought that was pretty funny.

[Genkai]

No no, if it helps I'm happy to hear what's going on with you. ^^

[mmidnight]

Well thank you ;n; -hugs- That really means a lot to me and ofc, if you need anything, I'm right here <3

[Genkai]

-hugs back- Don't worry about it, that's what friends are for right? And if not, friends suck lol

^___^

[mmidnight]

Haha, well you are not a sucky friend <3

And I'm almost done with the post! I just have to do Prim's part and then I can post :3

[Genkai]

Good~ And nor are you!

Awesome, the more distractions, the better. And a post from you is always super welcomed.

[mmidnight]

Something up? D:

And posted! It got way longer than I intended for it to be.