[OOC] Beyond a Fire's Embers

[Genkai]

I think so.

[mmidnight]

Fine.

[Genkai]

....Everything okay?

You seem a bit distant again...

[mmidnight]

Nah, I'm good.

[Genkai]

Alright, I wanna trust you. ^^'

I know I'm bringing this up again but only because we've had some awkward disagreements or interactions over the past week or two and it's not like us at all. We used to be on the same page about everything and super close but for some reason I feel a little anxious when it comes to you and me. I feel like we're not as close as we used to be and I'd hate to ever feel like I did something or said something to make you upset. And I'm sure you'd feel the same way too.

You questioned recently if I was still interested in this RP and I keep trying to figure out why you'd accuse me of not being invested when I told you upfront a while ago that I was becoming heavily invested and as such, I'd like to know you were too. You said you were. We had a laugh about having been burned before and this was both our favorite fast paced and well written RP. I even did some fanart, I haven't done that for anyone else and I was rather happy to get to do some sketching again. Ahem, I digress.

The point I want to make is that I am still interested and I want to continue writing with you. More so, I want us to be close friends again and not feel like we're walking on egg shells around each other at times.

Sure we may disagree on certain things and may not share every fandom but that's alright. ^^

So if something is bothering you or you need to vent, let me know because I assume the worst if you start to shut me out and I can't help if I don't know what's going on. Be it a rl issue or something else that may not even have to do with me. I miss our fun active OOC of awesome rambles and stuff. I still do wanna send you something this month or the next, be it a small care package or card or something.

I feel a bit annoying for just letting this all out but I'd feel better if I knew I hadn't done anything wrong because things seem off and if it's just rl issues, I understand but if I can do anything, let me know. I'm committed to this and to having fun with you. We do have other RPs going on but with the Guild getting the attention it deserves I do hope we can get back to our normal pacing and awesome babbling. (and of course posting in our fave OOC/IC, which is this I'd hope~ haha)

[mmidnight]

Is there some reason you can't?

I don't feel like I've done anything, but it's a two way street. The OOC isn't active because we've been on Skype for the last...idk, a while. You didn't post here today, and you usually say hi to me and shit, but it sat quiet. I asked if Peeta's thing was next, you answered and I said fine because it literally is fine.

If I wasn't invested in this RP, if I didn't care, I wouldn't bother to get on here. I wouldn't leave the window open in my tabs and I wouldn't check my subs every half hour or hour to see what's going on. I like this RP and I like you, but I don't like what you're accusing me of and I don't think it's very fair.

[Genkai]

I didn't post here because it would have been out of order. You know I'm a bit OCD about that.

And I frequently text you first when it comes to talking offline. If you want to text me you should because I like talking to you but you've been giving me cold replies over text and skype at times and I'm not trying to step on your toes. But it feels like I am. And it could be just the fact that there's no tone or context but we used to be more vocal about how happy we were with things and right now it seems like you're misunderstanding my heartfelt attempt to just double check that we're good.

I'm not trying to play bully or victim here, I just want us to be as close as we used to be and I had hoped you saw that I was concerned and hopeful and reciprocate my interest in continuing to pick up where we were before all the downtime.

I didn't think the texting was a big issue for you, I was just under the assumption that when I text you and you don't elaborate on things as you used to, that you're busy or annoyed with me. But I've said many times for you to text me, I sometimes have to ask if I should text you because again, I don't wanna be a hindrance but the point is we're both still invested and we should feel comfortable around one another and I'm just trying to fix what I think is broken. I'm not trying to accuse anyone of anything and maybe that wasn't the right word but you have been questioning my loyalty to you which isn't really fair when we see our history together and our possible future. ^^;

EDIT - I'm not sure if I'm being understood very well here, I'm not trying to sound obstinate angry. I'm really worried about us because this isn't like us and maybe some sleep or even a day or two apart might help sort out our thoughts. I like you as a friend (not just a writer) so I'm struggling here to figure out why things are suddenly sour.

If you want to call me on the phone, you can.

But I feel like something is wrong and maybe we need some time to sort through some clutter but as I said, with the Guild getting better, maybe we can just put this behind us and move on with a fresh start if it's possible. ^^

[mmidnight]

Out of order?

I don't know what texting has to do with anything. I very rarely text anyone first but you're not bothering me when you do. If I don't want to talk to someone, I just ignore them. Like I really don't know where this is coming from?

I like you. We're friends. I don't think we're not close and like I said, I really don't know where this is coming from or why you're so upset with me.

[Genkai]

I meant just order of the OOC/IC posts. I get a little OOC about it for whatever reason but I can honestly let it become madness if ya want. It might be fun to break that habit of mine. ^^;

I'm glad you don't think anything is wrong and I'm hoping we can put this hiccup and whatever else behind us. It's been a long couple of days for us both I think with the holidays tapering down. But if you're not worried, I won't worry either and we can get back to having awesome fun together. Let's do our best to meet each other half way~ :3

[mmidnight]

Do whatever you want. I didn't know you were uncomfortable with that.

I think you think something is wrong and that's not okay. I'm on Skype if you want to talk it out more because I'd rather not have any bad blood between us.

[Genkai]

It's weird for me, like utter chaos but I know it doesn't matter in the OOC heheh.

No there isn't anything wrong now. I just feared there might have been but since I was able to get what I said out and we hashed things out, there doesn't seem to be a problem.I'm happy if you're happy! All I was worried about was thinking you weren't because I felt things had shifted but it is that time of the year and I'm happy we could clear any misconceptions up~

[mmidnight]

Everything is fine, I swear <3

[Genkai]

That's good to here! I'm very relieved then!

I'm about to hit the hay but I'll be sure to get a post up tomorrow! ^___^ Ya know before school starts and I'm drained of my will to live write. I'm gonna need all the RPing outlets I can get and ours will be welcomed for sure.

[mmidnight]

Sleep well <3

We're about to start the games, so maybe that will be some encouragement c:

[Genkai]

You too~!

And yeah, I'm sure with me getting fed up with school, I'm gonna love to write about me stabbing some tribute in the face 80 times with the end of an arrow or hacking them up with a sword cause YOU MADE ME DO THIS SNOW, YOU MADE ME DO THIS. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW OLD MAN????!!!!!

XD

[mmidnight]

And that's what the games are for! That's a stabbin~!

[Genkai]

Yep stabbing, blood, tears and looking for food and not getting attacked by weird beasts~

[mmidnight]

*graces u with my presence* I was so busy today. tears4years

[Genkai]

Aw I'm sorry to hear that. Sundays should be lazy. *pout*

[mmidnight]

I know D; I was like, ugh nooooo. But I'm here nowww.