[OOC] Academy 218 - Superhuman School (Always open)

[Obscene Symphony]

Awesome! About how many people are involved? Can more than one character have the same power? About how many characters are there? Sorry, I'm just really curious ^_^

[Jazzy]

All you need to know on the first post of the front page my friend!

Oh, and cool avatar.

[Mixtape Ghost N]

1). Eighteen peeps approximately.

2). Well, depends, really. I would rather that every character has a power that stands out from each other. My powers are usually unique so you don't really have to worry about that.

3). Probably around thirty or forty. Yeah, we have a lot of characters.

[Obscene Symphony]

Thanks Jazzy, I feel it really captures Truth's attitude.
Thanks! Off I go to catch up!

[Schradinger]

So there's my character sheet. I really, really hope the power makes sense. It's kind of hard to describe in great detail in condensed form simply because of the sheer number of potential applications.

[Obscene Symphony]

Ooooh yeah where can I put my character/submit it?

[Obscene Symphony]

Ooooh yeah where can I put my character/submit it?

[Cryptiic]

Obscene Symphony said
Ooooh yeah where can I put my character/submit it?

http://www.roleplayerguild.com/topics/55601/posts/ooc

[Obscene Symphony]

Oh dear sorry for the double post, the site was acting weird for me there.

[QuietThinker]

Schradinger, the power seems a bit vague to me.. And I think its kind of a large jump between amplifying energies to giving her advanced healing and effectively a sixth sense that warns her of danger. That seems a tad OP to me.

I do like the concept though. Hows about instead of all energies, its just kinetic energy? And I'm going to throw some science into this.

Alright, you know how kinetic energy is a relationship between mass and speed? Well, what if there was a third part to that relationship; this blank energy? And she had the ability to manipulate this? This would mean that if she threw a punch, she could increase the kinetic energy of it without changing it's speed or it's mass. For simplicities sake, lets say that it would add 'blank mass' to anything she affects. A 30mph punch could be like being hit by a 30mph car. She'd need some speed for it to do any damage, but it would make all of her punches effectively unparriable.

And get this, more mass means it gets affected less by any force. If she applied this to herself when shes taking a hit, she'd take a lot less damage, and it would be like hitting a brick wall. All without adding any extra mass because it is 'blank mass'.

And this would mean anything could be deadly in her hands. A belt would turn into a flail without the heavy flail. If she applied this to air, she could make it very difficult for people to breathe. It does not mean she could conjure a weapon out of thin air though, as it's properties do not actually change: a belt would still behave like a belt, and air would still behave like air. It just affects how everything else interacts with anything with 'blank mass'.

This does mean that she wouldn't be able to heal herself though. You could easily make the argument that she could sense things through it, but you would have a tough time explaining danger-sense without some tough training. And for a weakness, this would definitely use some sort of mental muscle. And every muscle has a limit to how much it can do without taking a break.

But this is just my thoughts. Its not up to me what you do with your character :P

[Luminous Beings]

Schradinger, Paige needs some work before we can accept her.

First, her personality is somewhat lackluster. This could be okay, but given that she has killed (implied repeatedly) and been raised by a murderer, it's kinda hard to take it on faith. Whatever circumstances resulted in her birth should be elaborated upon so we have an idea of who we're accepting into the RP. If you need to write out a tank of a Bio to flesh it out, that's fine. If you'd rather keep it hidden from everybody and reveal it slowly, also fine, just PM it to one of us. She's somewhat one-dimensional at the moment, and doesn't seem to have many positive traits, just negativity and hatred for the world. What are her morals, beliefs, what does she struggle with, what does she fear, what does she like, etc.

Second, her power needs to be adjusted considerably and perhaps changed altogether. At a cursory glance, she has Regeneration, Super Speed, Super Strength, Immunity to Heat and Cold, Immunity to Electricity, Psychic Premonitions, and the ability to conjure objects out of nothing. Beyond that, she can channel energy into things and then manipulate said things as she wills.

To be brutally honest, this puts her at a level far, far beyond everyone else in the RP. Some suggestions.
-Scrap all the powers in the first part. Regeneration, immunity to heat, etc. Most of these could be powers of their own, and are in fact powers that other people have and centered their characters around. Having a character that can perform all of them makes the others somewhat pointless.
-Glossing over them because she doesn't get how they work isn't how we prefer to manage sheets: even if she has no clue how her powers work (which is perfectly fine, and something most of the other characters have), you should know how it works, and by extension we should know how it works. At the moment, we have no idea of what she's capable of. Vague psychic abilities, she can create things from nothing? We're not sure how she does this, what the repercussions are, etc, and there's nothing preventing her from pulling another knife out of thin air later on in the RP.
-How does the energy in her body protect her? Lynn's shadow protects her because it's a sentient being, it's her own subconscious. This is just pure energy inside of her, right? How is it able to willfully guard her?
-How is the energy holding her body together and defending her in the way it does? It seems like fusing her molecules together would have some pretty nasty effects, the specifics of which I'm not smart enough to know. Let's look, at, say, Henry. He can take more of a beating than pretty much anyone else in the RP, but the drawback is that he's big, heavy as hell, and covered in thick scales. Giving her the durability of an APC and none of the drawbacks isn't really fair.
-Her ability to analyze things in the world around her is essentially another power of its own, clairvoyance.
-Same goes for the superior senses.
-The superior senses, increased durability, clairvoyance, and environmental manipulation all don't really seem to fit with her actual power, that of being a well of energy. Having that much power inside of her shouldn't be able to let her do half that stuff (also, the energy actively protecting her). Giving yourself more chemical energy doesn't enable you to regenerate. In fact, because of lactic acid buildup, it would only help you keep fighting effectively up to a certain point.
-Limitless applications is something of a red flag, to be honest. Versatility is one thing. Limitless applications is dangerous. Another example with Lynn: her shadow is extremely versatile in how it can protect her, but it's bound by that fact: it is protecting her. For the purposes of protecting her, it can do a wide range of things. However, we don't know what the constraints, however broad, on Paige's power are. Her well of energy and the subsequent abilities don't really seem to click, so I'm not sure where we draw the lines in terms of what she's capable of.
-Your character has no weaknesses. She has limitations, but she does not have weaknesses. Let me illustrate the difference: Achilles is limited by the fact he has two hands, and therefore can only stab two people at one time. His weakness, ie, something that sets him in a tier below others, is that if you hit him in his heel, he kicks the bucket. I am superior to Achilles in that regard, because I can function pretty okay if you stab me in the heel (but I'll probably be pissed and limp around a bunch). Another example, Superman. Superman's weakness is Kryptonite. It's something that can be used to his disadvantage that doesn't really effect anyone else. So on and so forth.

Paige has no weaknesses. She has some constraints, but there's nothing like "If she uses her power too much, she begins to draw on her body's own supply of energy and kills herself". There's also no mention of where all this energy comes from. Does she have to draw from a generator or something and then convert it from there? Does it just come from within her? Because there's a tremendous amount of energy within the human body, but converting it and using it is probably going to be pretty inefficient, and it's basically going to kill off whatever part of her she draws it from.

Your character is not a jack of all trades, your character's essentially a master of all trades. No one in the entire RP could ever hope to beat her in a fight. I think you need to read back through your sheet and scale down her power immensely, as at the moment, she's incredibly powerful. She should be restricted to one, maybe two overarching powers. If smaller powers result from that, that's okay. For instance, Henry is a giant lizard. As a result, he has scales, claws, etc. Her overarching power, the well of energy, doesn't correlate to all the other stuff she can do-conjuring up items from nowhere, manipulating everything she touches, regenerating, being able to understand everything around her down to the atomic level, etc.

[Mixtape Ghost N]

HWWB perfectly summarized all the things that I have a problem with a sheet. Unfortunately, I'll have to reject Paige until she is acceptable. I suggest just scrapping the power all together.

I edited my last post. Added in Dana/Theresa, Jaska, and Nikki's. Jaska is approaching Codi/Atticus, and Nikki is trying to talk to Mark.

Unfortunately, Beebee has dropped out of the RP. I have moved all of his characters to the inactive section

[QuietThinker]

Oh woo, I get to do a thing!

[Schradinger]

Most of the stuff listed in the active portion of the CS is the absolute evolution of the power, and would never be attained in the RP. She'd have to live for thousands of years in order to learn how to "see" atoms, or even molecules, and be able to achieve the vast effects that would ultimately be possible.

Regardless, I can certainly understand that it's too big a power to work here, so I'll come up with something else to go with.

As for the personality, would you accept a sample post instead of history/more personality elaboration? Like I said before, I'm really not good at listing personality traits.

And last but not least, she wasn't raised by a murderer, he was a soldier. And she only killed one person in self defense. It wasn't a premeditated act of murder.

All that said, I've always sucked at bio's. >_< So I apologize for all the lack of coherence and adequate detail.

[Cryptiic]

Shradinger: Hrm... It might not be any of my business, but maybe I might have a few suggestions of how to better explain your character's powers:

First of all, put it under the Energy classification. It basically includes any form of thermal, solar, kinetic or electrical energy manipulation, among other things, which would probably include most of your character's abilities.

Second of all, put in a power limit. I'm not necessarily talking about the number of things she can control here, but rather the actual amount of energy she can withstand. Just because a character can absorb the thermal energy from a standard camp fire, for example, doesn't mean they could survive exposure to the surface of the sun. Set a clear amount of Joules your character can channel at the same time, and it should help tremendously.

Third of all, define your power's theme more clearly. Generally, characters who end up being rejected aren't necessarily the most powerful, but rather the least straightforward. Try making the overarching theme behind your character clearer. Henry is a lizard. Jake is an illusionist. Lynn has a sentient shadow. What is Paige? Keep things simple. I don't mean to say your powers shouldn't be strong or versatile, but rather that you should be able to define them clearly in very few words. Your description should not need any more than ten words, generally speaking.

Fourth of all, add more description. This is the advanced section, there is no reason why you shouldn't write a novel in your character sheet if you want to. Again, like with the third point, keep things simple. The more scattered your description of her personality, skillset or hobbies, the less clear it is what sort of character you are aiming for. Give her a few fundamental characteristics, then build upon them afterwards. Theresa is a sarcastic yet friendly scarf-wearing male to female transsexual who likes hunting and nature. There, I've just described one of the most complex characters in the role play in under a sentence. Sure, there's more to her than this, but those simple pillars give a fairly good idea of her character.

Lastly, in regards to modifying your power set, maybe you could instead make her an "Energy Absorber". Simple, easy to understand and well defined. She has this sort of barrier around her which enables her to absorb energy she is exposed to and use it in various ways. If you really want to get fancy with it, tie it in with negentropic principles to explain her healing and plant growing capabilities. "Paige is a goth girl who doesn't fit well with others and can affect the energetic flow of entropy". There, one sentence. She can grow plants, heal, absorb energy and control most of the stuff you mentioned, under the umbrella of a single principle. Like it was mentioned above, I would probably recommend you put a clear limit of how much energy she can manipulate that way at once, however. I would also limit this to strictly physical effects, and avoid venturing into metaphysics altogether.

If you need any assistance with writing your character sheet, feel free to send me a private message and I will be more than glad to help you.

PS: Oh, and by the way, the drinking game of taking a shot every time I write "Character" is still in effect, so break out the alcohol everyone! :D

[QuietThinker]

Dagnammit, when I post something lengthy, I'd at least like some acknowledgement..

Especially when I put some science into it! >_<

[Mixtape Ghost N]

Even if it was the "absolute portion" I will not allow it.

And I don't want a sample post, I want an actual personality section.

[Obscene Symphony]

Hey, what's the verdict on people being forced to come to Academy 218? I have a character that I would like to have been forced to come to the Academy as they're the only place that would be able to handle her. Is this possible?

[Mixtape Ghost N]

Obscene Symphony said
Hey, what's the verdict on people being forced to come to Academy 218? I have a character that I would like to have been forced to come to the Academy as they're the only place that would be able to handle her. Is this possible?

Yeah, that happens every now and then.

[Obscene Symphony]

Excellent, thanks!
Also, is there a limit on how high I can stack her power measurement? I've been on sites before where, say, any power above an 8 is off-limits and reserved for plot device NPCs.
Don't worry, I've put a lot of thought into balancing her power, so it shouldn't be OP.