Maria - DJ's - Goodbye
Maria finished eating and stood. After paying for her meal she headed for the bathroom.
The payphone was sitting there against the wall, beckoning to her.
Should she?
She really shouldn't. A clean break. That was what she needed.
But... it was Tony... shouldn't she at least explain? It wasn't like she was ever going to see him again anyway.
He deserved to know.
And, maybe, in her heart of hearts, she needed to let him know.
Going to the phone, she dropped the coins in before she could change her mind. Dialing that old number was the hardest thing she had ever done.
Scratch that. Waiting while it rang was the hardest thing she had ever done.
She blew out her breath when his voicemail picked up. She nearly hung up when the beep sounded, but opened her mouth and forced herself to talk.
"Tony... I know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now but... listen... I need you to listen to me okay. I know... I know I fucked up alright. I fucked up big time. But... The truth is... damn it..." she took a deep breath. "The truth is I bought that shit because I wanted to numb myself... to forget everything. When I found out that you..." she cleared her throat. "When I found out you were getting married... I just... I felt like I had lost you. I couldn't deal with the fact that you... that you were in love with someone who wasn't me." She paused a moment then laughed a laugh that was full of sadness. "I know, stupid right? Me, falling in love with you. But I did. I'm in love with you Tony. I have been for a while, but you never noticed me that way. Now that I've seen her I know why. I'll never be good enough for you," she had started to cry then and her voice started cracking. "I'm sorry Tony. I'm sorry. I'm going away and you'll never have to deal with me again. Just please, please forgive me and then forget me. I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me. I love you Tony. Goodbye."
She hung up choking back a sob. Sitting against the wall, she slid down and buried her face in her hands.
"Hey Maria? You okay doll?" one of the old waitresses asked.
"No," the girl answered truthfully.
The older woman snorted. "Well come on sweetheart. Sit at the bar and I'll make you one of my famous chocolate sundaes and you can tell me all about it."
"Chocolate won't fix this," Maria said but allowed the woman to pull her up.
"Chocolate makes everything better," the woman insisted and made her sit down on one of the red stools at the bar. "Now you wait here and I'll be right back."
Maria stayed because she respected the older woman. She leaned her head on her hand, her hair all falling to one side of her head as she stared at the counter.
No. She didn't want chocolate.
She wanted to die....
Maria finished eating and stood. After paying for her meal she headed for the bathroom.
The payphone was sitting there against the wall, beckoning to her.
Should she?
She really shouldn't. A clean break. That was what she needed.
But... it was Tony... shouldn't she at least explain? It wasn't like she was ever going to see him again anyway.
He deserved to know.
And, maybe, in her heart of hearts, she needed to let him know.
Going to the phone, she dropped the coins in before she could change her mind. Dialing that old number was the hardest thing she had ever done.
Scratch that. Waiting while it rang was the hardest thing she had ever done.
She blew out her breath when his voicemail picked up. She nearly hung up when the beep sounded, but opened her mouth and forced herself to talk.
"Tony... I know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now but... listen... I need you to listen to me okay. I know... I know I fucked up alright. I fucked up big time. But... The truth is... damn it..." she took a deep breath. "The truth is I bought that shit because I wanted to numb myself... to forget everything. When I found out that you..." she cleared her throat. "When I found out you were getting married... I just... I felt like I had lost you. I couldn't deal with the fact that you... that you were in love with someone who wasn't me." She paused a moment then laughed a laugh that was full of sadness. "I know, stupid right? Me, falling in love with you. But I did. I'm in love with you Tony. I have been for a while, but you never noticed me that way. Now that I've seen her I know why. I'll never be good enough for you," she had started to cry then and her voice started cracking. "I'm sorry Tony. I'm sorry. I'm going away and you'll never have to deal with me again. Just please, please forgive me and then forget me. I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me. I love you Tony. Goodbye."
She hung up choking back a sob. Sitting against the wall, she slid down and buried her face in her hands.
"Hey Maria? You okay doll?" one of the old waitresses asked.
"No," the girl answered truthfully.
The older woman snorted. "Well come on sweetheart. Sit at the bar and I'll make you one of my famous chocolate sundaes and you can tell me all about it."
"Chocolate won't fix this," Maria said but allowed the woman to pull her up.
"Chocolate makes everything better," the woman insisted and made her sit down on one of the red stools at the bar. "Now you wait here and I'll be right back."
Maria stayed because she respected the older woman. She leaned her head on her hand, her hair all falling to one side of her head as she stared at the counter.
No. She didn't want chocolate.
She wanted to die....