Escapism and RP

[Robeatics]

So, as I’m sure many of you understand or will understand someday, being a teenager is not very fun. It’s not the age itself--if I could be a teenager with all the freedoms and security of an adult I would be perfectly happy. I suppose it’s not even teenagers alone--anyone of an age where they’re oversaturated with mundanity will do. I’ve never moved around, so I think being in the same house, in the same room, has started to affect me. Mainly I’m very bored. I want excitement and change, but instead I get a routine occasionally broken by one world-shattering event or another, such as a family member of mine becoming paraplegic or having a falling-out with old friends. My most reliable outlet is my hobbies, like RPing, drawing or writing. I can also occupy myself with catching up on a show or cartoon, but something about it feels unfulfilling. Entering into my fantasies isn’t a sole relief--I’m perfectly fine with living in reality--but I worry that eventually I will come to resent reality and only step in to provide for what I truly love, like a braindead worker who only comes alive on the weekends, or when she gets home. To the adults here: How do you balance “reality”--your job, your family and friends--with fantasy, hobbies and escapism? Are there any other teenagers who worry about this? Is it alright to live a life where I wade through my job and responsibilities for the sole purpose of being able to enjoy myself later? Where should I find a balance?

[Fleeter]

I try to break the routine by doing a hobby, like DDR I managed to be able to do heavy/difficult songs now. Also, fire and LED poi, but college gets in the way of me making time for it. I also am trying to learn to program for video games using Lynda.com. I'm not very good at it, but I finished the course on 2D programming in Unity. I also do commissions for art for people and RP. It sounds like a lot, but you'll be surprised how much you can accomplish with 10 minutes to an hour a day or week, or month, on something. But by doing so, I get very frustrated when school, work, or life, get in the for me to do a hobby. I get so mad because there isn't a time to escape. But when I do get around to it, I try to put my all in the little amount of time that I have. But I want to stress that I get super mad, and usually I'll get depressed and not do anything fun for weeks. I think finding balance is finding where you tend to spend the most time doing nothing, and fill it with something you think is super cool. So it can keep your mind off of the present, and into the future. But it takes a lot of patience. It took me years to get to a difficult level of DDR, and a long time to have the courage to spin fire without my parent's permission. (Now I'm old enough to not give a damn.) Also, it took me forever and a year to get to my level of art. (See my icon.) But I never looked at my current skill as being bad, I saw every piece as a stepping stone to whatever that future goal may be. I still have more goals, like learning kanji, and honestly, I NEED these hobbies to keep my mind off of everything, or else I'll go crazy. Sometimes, I wonder how I even made it this far. But at least now, I'm enjoying the fruits of some of my labors. Idk, sorry for the rant. Basically find a hobby to get your mind off of shit if your patient and hard working enough. It'll take your mind off of things. If not, I have no idea, because that's my single way to cope with anything. The balance from work, friends, family, and school comes from years of determining and attacking where and when "nothing" is happening and filling it with something that has an end goal. Even if that time is only 10 minutes. And I think it'll help you find more efficency in other daily stuff you have to do like work, school, and chores, because you want to get back to escaping as soon as possible.

[SilverWolfAngel]

My most reliable outlet is my hobbies, like RPing, drawing or writing. I can also occupy myself with catching up on a show or cartoon, but something about it feels unfulfilling. Entering into my fantasies isn’t a sole relief--I’m perfectly fine with living in reality--but I worry that eventually I will come to resent reality and only step in to provide for what I truly love, like a braindead worker who only comes alive on the weekends, or when she gets home.

Robeatics

Well I’m one step ahead of you there, I HATE this world, and most of the things in it, and I have a special grudge against humanity. This is partially due to my feeling powerlessness; I am supposed to do what I’m told, when I’m told, as I’m told. Also because there are things going on in the world things I can see are bad, cruel, mean, negative, and there is nothing, Nothing I can do to stop them. Be it something as small as the frigging expressway they are putting practically through my backyard, or that my contrary is being sold down the drain, to something as large as the plastic sea, or wars, or the utter collapse of this world and society. I hear all of these and feel powerless, so I escape, I ditch my boring, everyday life and hide behind a book. I use music, RP, manga, anime, movies, stories, art; I use them to get out to go somewhere exciting, where problems can be solved, and trials overcome, where the bullies get beaten and the underdog stronger. Where it all ends in a happily ever after. (Mostly). I have gained some; well actually quite a lot, of freedom since I dropped out of school to home-school, but the taste of freedom only made me want more. I deal by living in the moment, by immersing myself so completely; into the music that I listen to, or into the moment itself, that there is no time to think about other stuff, it’s all that second, that second and nothing more. When I said at the beginning that I hate this world that is not entirely true, I do hate it but I also love it, I love the world itself, I love it all, and hate it all, and really are love and hate that different? Ok I don’t remember where I was going with this, or what the point was, but there you have it, my view on what I hope was the actual subject, Sorry for the rant, that’s what happens if you give me the chance. (I think I went waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy off topic, sorry)

[Keyguyperson]

I am supposed to do what I’m told, when I’m told, as I’m told. Also because there are things going on in the world things I can see are bad, cruel, mean, negative, and there is nothing, Nothing I can do to stop them. Be it something as small as the frigging expressway they are putting practically through my backyard, or that my contrary is being sold down the drain, to something as large as the plastic sea, or wars, or the utter collapse of this world and society. I hear all of these and feel powerless, so I escape, I ditch my boring, everyday life and hide behind a book. I use music, RP, manga, anime, movies, stories, art; I use them to get out to go somewhere exciting, where problems can be solved, and trials overcome, where the bullies get beaten and the underdog stronger. Where it all ends in a happily ever after. (Mostly).

@SilverWolfAngel

This chunk right here? Yeah. THAT. The main differences seem to be that I absolutely love the world. It's a giant shithole, sure, but I still love it. I also love humanity, sure, a whole lot of humans are assholes, but I still love humanity just the same. But back to the topic: I definitely use roleplaying, writing, music, etc. as escapism. I think way, way too big. I can almost never take pleasure in small things, and it takes a huge event to even get me interested. Luckily for me, I can really immerse myself in a story (I can make the story feel like real life, essentially. Not any exaggeration in that, either), so writing gives me a way to make those huge events happen. Without being able to escape that well, I feel like my life would be pretty fucked up by now as a result of me trying to simply kill the boredom.

[SilverWolfAngel]

The main differences seem to be that I absolutely love the world. It's a giant shithole, sure, but I still love it. I also love humanity, sure, a whole lot of humans are assholes, but I still love humanity just the same.

@Keyguyperson

I'm just a negative person I guess. Glass half empty and all that. I hate humans because it is what humans do that pisses me off, but then again, it is also humans who create the music I love, the stories I read, And everything else like that. so yeah, I guess I mostly just see the bad things. Problem is I can't control it, sure I deal, but even just thinking about some of the things going on in this world makes anger bubble up inside; the sort of red mist, wanna destroy, blind rage, anger that consumes all, and I can't control it.

I think way, way too big.

@Keyguyperson

I think worrying about a war on the other side of the world is thinking pretty big, don't you?

Luckily for me, I can really immerse myself in a story (I can make the story feel like real life, essentially. Not any exaggeration in that, either), so writing gives me a way to make those huge events happen.

@Keyguyperson

Same, though for me it was always reading, I could immerse myself so deep I felt it; it was real, when the character was hurt I have to physically check myself for wounds that don't exist. But yes; escape is the easiest way, and I guess that is what I was trying to say earlier, although somehow I think that that deviates from the original question. (Another thing I'm good at; forgetting the original idea of what I want to say.)

[Robeatics]

Hey guys, thanks a lot for answering some of my questions and sharing your own perspectives. I'll definitely reflect upon everything you all have said and see what sticks! It's always great to hear from such a diverse community as the Guild.

[Jerkchicken]

[Lord Pie]

I’m all adult and stuff, normal life and all that. But I’m also into my escapism – for many of the reasons SilverWolfAngel indicated as well as a few of my own. That being said I don’t resent the world or my real life at all and I’m generally happy and fulfilled with a lot of things. I wouldn’t worry about RPing and your other hobbies ruining the other parts of your life, it certainly hasn’t done mine. It keeps me happy to have my own outlet, and whilst none of my friends RP or write like I do, I’ve mentioned once or twice that I do. My better half (Lady Pie, if you will) knows all about it and occasionally indulges me as I tell her about my favourite things, or I suggest she reads an RP I’m doing I’d think she’ll enjoy - or we will play a game together on occasion (ah those sweet sweet all night Civilization 4 sessions). I truly love all of this, and whilst I’d have to agree lots of things in life (work particularly) suck something fierce – my ‘hobbies’ haven’t made me resent them anymore than the normal amount. Everyone has to do things they wish they didn’t and everyone has the things that help them feel better about it. Balance will come naturally one way or another, so I’d just chill about it and do it as much as you can/want. You may eventually find other things or people that also make you very happy that aren’t escapism. Escapism isn’t bad at all, in my opinion.