Crow rubbed the back of his hand across his mouth and wiped the blood off on his pant leg. He hated that his illness had made an appearance when he was so close to the knights, and that it had come suddenly enough that he couldn’t do anything to stop it. The last thing he wanted was for Gavin or Olivia to realize he was sick, even though the disease barely affected him anymore. He trusted Penelope not to say anything about it, but he didn’t know either of the other knights well enough to believe that they wouldn’t tell their comrades that the thief who had been raiding their campsite was ailing.
He glanced up as Penelope told the others to go on ahead of them. For a moment, he guessed that she was just concerned about his health, and was trying to give him some time to recover from the coughing fit. However, that hope was quickly dashed when she turned on him with a worried expression and questioned him again about what he was trying to hide from her. He shifted his weight uncomfortably, still refusing to meet her gaze. He could tell by the sound of her voice that she wasn’t going to let it go until he admitted the real reason why he was acting strangely. Even though he really didn’t want to tell her the truth yet, he knew it was pointless to keep dodging the question when she was already so concerned.
Letting out his breath in a defeated sigh, he finally looked up from the ground to meet her frightened green eyes. “I think it would be best if we stop seeing each other,” he finally said in a hushed tone, his voice cracking slightly with suppressed emotions. He paused, taking a calming breath and running his hand anxiously through his hair. This was why he didn’t want to say anything to her right now. He had only gotten out one sentence, and he was already losing himself to the pain of his decision.
Steeling himself, he went on, trying to keep his voice steady as he spoke, “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I just can’t deny it anymore… I’m not the man you should give up everything you have to be with. It doesn’t make any sense for you to lose so much to be with a thief who can only bring you more trouble. You’d be better off with a nobleman like Gavin.”
He lowered his gaze again, feeling another pang of guilt, “I’m sorry I made this harder on you than it had to be. I should never have approached you when you came to the outer villages. If I had just left you alone, you wouldn’t have to go through all of this again. You would have stayed with him, and none of this would be happening right now… I hope you can forgive me for hurting you. It was selfish of me to take you away from your life again.
“Also, please, don’t say that you still think you’ll be better off running away with me,” Crow closed his eyes, fighting back against the tremor that edged his voice. “You don’t know what you’ll want even a year from now, and I couldn’t live with myself if you woke up someday, regretting everything you lost for me. I think it would be best if we just end things now, so you won’t have to risk that. Just let me go before I ruin your chance of going back.”
He glanced up as Penelope told the others to go on ahead of them. For a moment, he guessed that she was just concerned about his health, and was trying to give him some time to recover from the coughing fit. However, that hope was quickly dashed when she turned on him with a worried expression and questioned him again about what he was trying to hide from her. He shifted his weight uncomfortably, still refusing to meet her gaze. He could tell by the sound of her voice that she wasn’t going to let it go until he admitted the real reason why he was acting strangely. Even though he really didn’t want to tell her the truth yet, he knew it was pointless to keep dodging the question when she was already so concerned.
Letting out his breath in a defeated sigh, he finally looked up from the ground to meet her frightened green eyes. “I think it would be best if we stop seeing each other,” he finally said in a hushed tone, his voice cracking slightly with suppressed emotions. He paused, taking a calming breath and running his hand anxiously through his hair. This was why he didn’t want to say anything to her right now. He had only gotten out one sentence, and he was already losing himself to the pain of his decision.
Steeling himself, he went on, trying to keep his voice steady as he spoke, “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I just can’t deny it anymore… I’m not the man you should give up everything you have to be with. It doesn’t make any sense for you to lose so much to be with a thief who can only bring you more trouble. You’d be better off with a nobleman like Gavin.”
He lowered his gaze again, feeling another pang of guilt, “I’m sorry I made this harder on you than it had to be. I should never have approached you when you came to the outer villages. If I had just left you alone, you wouldn’t have to go through all of this again. You would have stayed with him, and none of this would be happening right now… I hope you can forgive me for hurting you. It was selfish of me to take you away from your life again.
“Also, please, don’t say that you still think you’ll be better off running away with me,” Crow closed his eyes, fighting back against the tremor that edged his voice. “You don’t know what you’ll want even a year from now, and I couldn’t live with myself if you woke up someday, regretting everything you lost for me. I think it would be best if we just end things now, so you won’t have to risk that. Just let me go before I ruin your chance of going back.”