[IC] Everyone is John

[Snarfulblast]

"Oh shut up you crazy bitch. I have had enough of your 'Greys' they are not real. Harry help me shut her up. I want to hear what happens next."

[DancingEagle]

"Can you please shut the f--k up in there?" John groaned. "Paramedics will be here any minute now and I don't want to look like a lunatic!" he mumbled. John sat in the ticket booth, trying to get some rest. About 15 minutes later, he woke up to the sound of an ambulance siren. From the corner of his eye he could see two cops tearing down the yellow tape and opening the gate. John quickly stood up, waved his hands and walked towards them. "Stop, sir. You may be sick. Please calm down, don't touch anyone, and come with the medics", one cop said, as a group of paramedics covered with white hazard suits approached John. One told him to calm down and reassured him that their "menacing appearance" is just a precaution. The other said he's going to be sent to a hospital for a few check-ups.

[Snarfulblast]

"Right sorry comrade."

[rocketrobie2]

"THE GREYS. YOUR PROBABLY RIGHT. THEY'RE WORKING FOR A BUNCH OF ROCKS! JOHN QUICK TRY TO BARTER YOUR PANTS FOR ONE OF THEIR FANCY ROCK MAN COSTUMES. IT MAY BE YOUR ONLY HOPE OF ESCAPING HERE."

[DancingEagle]

John steps with the two paramedics to the ambulance as AGAG suggests John to barter his pants for one of the suits. "Good idea, it'll protect me" John mutters to himself. "Hey, who are you talking to?" One of the doctors who accompanied John asked him. "Oh, no one, no one. Say uh, these pants are really darn comfortable, and you suit is pretty damn cool if I have to say so myself. Would you like a trade?" (You have a skill for that. Rolled 5. Success is 50-100) "Are you crazy?" one of the medics asked John. "The infection must make you crazy!" the other answered. "Come quickly, sir, we must hurry!", as they grabbed John by both his arms and rushed him into the ambulance. John is forcefully thrown into the ambulance, as the crew inside of it try to conduct Intravenous therapy on John, inserting water and nutritional... Stuff... into his bloodstream from a small bag. (You failed a roll. It's @Teoinsanity's turn.)

[Teoinsanity]

"Hala Bro, You look like you have a BroBlem"(it arabic ,there is no Ps only Bs) Ahmad says smugly to john. "Need some Helb?"

[DancingEagle]

"What? What is a 'BroBlem'? How will it help me?" John murmurs. "The fuck is a Helb?". The paramedics are dumbfounded. "Hey Greg, he's talking to himself like a crazy person", one of the paramedics told Greg, presumably the driver. "Yeah, I noticed." He said jokingly. "At least we have someone ill we can diagnose and see what the hell's this disease is, probably a brain thing." He continued.

[Teoinsanity]

"Helb you moron,Helb!" he says angrily "Sorry,I am new here,In arabic ,we have no Ps.Anyway ,try to run out of this Ambulence,and run into the Mcdonalds,Itsthe only way the illuminatilizards wont find us,they know we know that 9/11 was faked,So run!"

[DancingEagle]

"Running away, huh?" John whispered to himself. "What did you say?" One of the paramedics said. John didn't answer. When the ambulance stopped to a red light, John detached the needle off of his arm, got up from the ambulance emergency bed and attempted to jump through the ambulance doors... (You don't have a skill for that. Rolled 19. Needs 85-100 to succeed) John jumps out of the ambulance, opening the ambulance's back doors forcefully, hearing a faint "What the fuck?!" scream from behind him. Unfortunately, blasting through the doors slowed down his speed, and he landed roughly on the aspelt, almost hitting his head on a car behind the ambulance. His arm began to bleed due to him removing the intravenous therapy needle, and some small scars appeared on his face due to the fall. His legs aren't broken, but he has trouble running, or, hell, walking. After getting up, John began to run away from the ambulance, or should I say, limp away - while the ambulance stops next to the sidewalk, and its staff runs towards John, while the driver, Greg, seems to call someone from inside the ambulance. (You failed a roll, next's turn voice)

[Darcs]

"Darn t-these pesky Grey-spawn! Th-they're so persistent..."

"But of course they are..."

"W-what d-do you mean?"

"W-well, I think... I just need to think..."

"Th-they're just drones! Taking orders from a higher power!"

"Buuuut... I-if only..."

"O-of course!"

"Y-yes, of course!"

"J-john! These Grey-spawn are only worker drones! All you need is a good enough bluff and they'll mistake you for one of their own! Say you work for their employer and you were testing their ability to capture a sickly humanoid!"

[DancingEagle]

"What? But you just told me to ru...", John exclaims while limping away from the ambulence staff, quickly catching up to him. After it becomes clear to him that the crew is about to catch him, he decides to do what he was just told. He stopped, put his hands up and turned to the staff as they slow down and grab him by the arms. "You passed!" John said happily. The two paramedics, while dragging him back to the ambulence, seemed dumbfounded once more. "Passed what?" one of them inquired sarcastically. "The test, silly!", John explained and giggled. "I work for your boss, and I was deliberately placed in that zoo by your boss in order to test your preformence and care for the people you bring in, of course! It seems you passed with flying colors!" John continued. (You have a skill for that. Rolled 96. Success is 50-100.) The paramedics seemed convinced. They smiled to each other, released John from their grasp, and even high five'd. "It seems we've made a terrible mistake, Mr..." a paramedic said. "John. Mr. John." John responded. "Yes, Mr. John. I'll tell Greg about this. Just a question, Mr. John," the other paramedic asked, "Why did you jump out? You could've just told us you're working with our boss there." he continued. John looked up and seems praying for help...

[Darcs]

"R-reaction time!"

"It's part of the test, a-after all! Can't have specime-- I mean "patients" escaping!"

"S-simply part of the test! Just assessing those filthy Grey-spawn's ability to retrieve errant humans!"

"I-I mean! Assessing the completely human ambulance workers ability to retrieve sickly but uncooperative patients..."

"Yes, tell them that! And that you must go file their stunning success with the agency and that they can expect a raise from their maste-- employers!"

[DancingEagle]

"Of course!" Join thinks. "Well," John explains to the paramedics, "I was testing your reaction time as part of the test. You might find actual insane patients behave like that, and we wanted to know if you would be up to the task".

(You have a skill for that. Rolled 28. Success is 50-100)

"Uh... Okay..." Retorts a paramedic, "We've been here for the past 10 years and we never had a mental patient behave like that. In fact, 911 calls up a different facility if they encounter insane people. We were called in because we thought you are contamina-" Stops the paramedic, and looks at his friend. "He still may be, a tester or not." Responds his friend. "Please, Mr. John, come with us to the hospital, we have to get you checked! This contamination is dangerous!" He continues, and grab John by both arms, dragging him back to the ambulance while Greg sprints out, enraged.

"Who the fuck was that?! I just called the Department of Health and they never sent a tester to us! This guy is an imposter, and you believed him, you ignorant fucks!" He shouts, as everyone looks a John.

(Sandra failed a roll. It's AGAG's turn)
@rocketrobie2

[rocketrobie2]

"OH DANG. THESE GUYS SEEM TICKED. YOU GOTTA CALM THEM DOWN JOHN OR THEY MIGHT HHHHHAAAAAARRRRMMMM YOU. I THINK YOUR BEST BET HERE IS TO BARTER YOUR PANTS FOR FREEDOM. OFFER UP YOUR PANTS AS TRIBUTE TO THESE 'GREYS' AS THE OTHER GUY KEEPS CALLIN EM AND THEN JUST BOOK IT OUT OF THERE. YOU HEAR ME?"

[DancingEagle]

John begins to understand the hole he - or rather, his voices - dug to himself. Themselves. Whatever. After failing to barter his pants before, AGAG believes it is prime time for another try, considering the trouble they're both in.
"Look guys," John says, "I know I messed up", he continued, as he's interrupted by Greg. "'Messed up' is an understatement! Give me one reason why I shouldn't call the fucking police!" Greg shouts, enraged, as his face turns to a shade or red. "But won't you like..." John slowly removes his pants, revealing a short boxer. "THESE wonderful pants?" he introduces his pants, and begins to toy with them, as the other people around John feel like he's either a pervert or an insane person.

(You have a skill for that. Rolled 74. Success is 50-100)

One of the paramedics feels compassion towards John, and believes he's just a crazy guy sent to a world that doesn't want him there. "Okay, fine", he says reluctantly, as John gives him his pants, and everyone else looks stunned. "Let him go. He's harmless." he attempts to convince Greg.
Greg sighs and thinks for a second. Mind you, John is now pants-less. "Pfft, fuck it. Don't want to mess with those po-po anyways", he concludes. "Now get the hell out of my sight before I change my fucking mind", he commands John.
John promptly says "Thank you, Greg!" and runs off to the street...

[rocketrobie2]

"GREAT! COMPLETE SUCCESS. JOHN YOU ARE A GENIUS IN YOUR TIME. A REAL DARWIN. A REAL EINSTEIN. A REAL BILLY MAYES. BUT NOW WE NEED YOU TO DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS. GO FIND AN ESTABLISHMENT THAT SPECIALIZES IN THE SELLING OF CARS. A CAR DEALERSHIP OF SORTS. THEN TRY TO BARTER WITH SOMEONE TO GET YOURSELF A SWEET SET OF WHEELS FOR A PERSONAL CONCERT OF THE PLANETS OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM. EXCEPT FOR JUPITER OF COURSE. JUPITER SUCKS."