[IC] Violence Fights Xtreme

[Thrashy]

Match #1

The studio is still like a graveyard. There are no lights, there is no sound, and no motion. Then, suddenly, in a blast unparalleled by anything in any media format ever, the place lights up like christmas in an explosion that would have made Michael Bay cum and go to heaven. A crowd of ten thousand fanatic members of the audience stands and cheers as one to the hardcore rock 'n roll music, and then the central stage starts moving. It unfolds like a pillar, or an altar, and on top of it stands a man. He raises the microphone to his mouth.

People of the universe, he shouts, I say, AAARE YOUUU READYYY?

Another blast of lights and music rocks the studio arena to its core. The crowd goes absolutely bananas. Meanwhile the host of the show, revrend Dropkick McMurphy, extends his arm and invites his fellow commentators to the stage; there is the scarred war-veteran Zeke Musashi, and there is the beautiful russian supermodel Natasha Korinivsomething. The camera makes one last sweep of the audience, which by now is stampeding around in total chaos, and then zooms in on the hosts as they converge in the middle of the studio.

Howdy people, and welcome to this, the very first show of Violence Fights Xtreme! I hope y'all pumped for this, 'cause I know I am! Can I get an amen, brother? Can I get a Hallelujah?

Tell you what, rev, you just might! I haven't been this excited since before the D-day!

I hear you! And what a game we've got ourselves tonight! Top notch if anything! First up, let me hear it for little miss bloodbath, KAWAII ROSE KRUGEEER! Hallelujah! And now, clap your hands and stomp your feet for the Pickelator, DAVID BOAAARDHEAD! Amen! And now, moving on to the arena! Tonight, our fighters will be battling to the death at:

PRIDE ROCK

This here miracle of GAWD stands tall in the middle of the African savannah like a beacon of divinity! It is fantastic, beautiful, full of life and about to change permanently! Once our fighters are done with the place, there'll be no more room for neither lions, warthogs, baboons or any of their musical friends! Speaking of which; there's a ton of wildlife here, and most of it has human on the menu, so watch out!

I just can't whait to being kingk!

...

What?

The singings from the movie! My favorites!

Oh, well uh-

So pretty with all colors!

Uh-

And now, ladies, gentlemen and everything in between, the moment you've all been waiting for! It's time for the final countdown (for one of our fighters), and it begins right now! LET! THERE! BE! BLOOD! BEGIN!!!

[rocketrobie2]

David looked out over the gruesome scene before him. "Animals, animals everywhere. All go lucky and what not. whats wrong with them" David monologued to himself and his Uni-Tiger (patent pending). He then turned to face his opponent who looked like an anime barfed and had a child with itself at the same time. "Well then lets pull up our pants and get on with this!" David yelled as he did a fist pump and mounted his Uni-Tiger (patent still pending). David thrusted his briefcase in the air like one of those knights that are about to charge "art thou ready!" he yelled at the opposition.

[ImportantNobody]

"Everyone here is so baka, desu," Kawaii Kruger said to herself as she heard the announcement of their battle. "Ah, konnichiwa, David-san. You better pray to kami because I'm going to get honki on your osiri!"

After she said this she let out a battle cry of "AAAAAAHHHH!" which translates to the same in English or Japanese. As this impressive battle cry took place a machiegun came out of her left hand and a katana in her right. She ignored the animals for now but would shoot them if they came to close. Or shoot them if they didn't happen to dodge her attacks against David, which was her opening fire with reckless abandon all around the field, head shot-ing multiple animals who were too stupid to evade. One shot even hit Rafiki in the heart and he tumbled off of Pride Rock. Kawaii kept her distance for now, shooting madly in his general direction the entire time. Due to her weapon generation powers she wouldn't run out of bullets any time soon.

[rocketrobie2]

At first David was trying to comprehend what was being yelled at him which allowed him to be grazed by a few shots before he was able to raise his briefcase up to defend himself "Onward, Bavid!" David yelled as he and his tiger rode into combat. Bavid let out a mighty roar as his horn began firing non-harmful lights in all directions. The light blinded quite a few animals making them bump into each other and thus making their animalistic sides outweigh their more cartoony side as they began attacking one another. David ignored this and instead fired barrages of pickles and peanut butter at his Japanese foe.

[ImportantNobody]

"Kuso! Where's my lion companion?!" Kawaii complained out loud, somehow heard over all of the gunfire and animal roaring. "Kimba the White Lion, not this Simba who ripped off our show. Seriously, look it up!" She shouted at him while continuing to fire, undaunted by his recent display, although the lightshow did reduce her accuracy as it got into her eyes, causing her to slaughter half a dozen more animals and even kill off an endangered species or two as her shots went haywire.

She was too distracted to dodge the opening shots and had pickles and peanut butter splattered across her schoolgirl outfit that she was still wearing to the battle for some reason. "No! My kawaii outfit! You'll pay for this outrage!" She threatened angrily as she began to dodge his attacks by running off to his left. He wasn't dying quick enough from her scattered shots so she threw away her machinegun and materialized a rocket launcher, firing one off in his direction as she continued to run. Even if she missed a little he would still get caught in the crossfire.

[rocketrobie2]

"Your just jealous of my Uni-Tiger! I think. Honestly I'm not even sure what you've been talking about this entire time." David yelled over the gunfire and the animal carnage. He was hit with a few more stray bullets before he realized that the girl-thing had tossed away her machine gun, probably due to her storm trooper like aim, and replaced it with a rocket launcher with a Rocket headed in David and Bavid's direction "FORMATION 22: Quasimodo!" yelled David as Bavid the albino Uni-tiger crouched down then launched its owner in an arc across the sky and towards the rocket. Any onlookers of this, even the animals, would describe this as stupidly badass but sadly animals only speak animal-ese so no one could understand their awe. As David approached the rocket he opened his briefcase up and stated at the rocket, absorbing it into the pickle and peanut butter pocket dimension. As he came down though David sprawled out on the ground and lost grip of his briefcase which was sent flying off the side of pride rock.

[ImportantNobody]

"A fatal mistake, kisama! Prepare to die or commit seppuku and then die!" She threatened him as she discarded her rocket launcher as well and charged forward, brandishing her katana with both hands. However, she slipped on a blob of peanut butter on the ground and tumbled forward, rolling multiple times un-athletically before crashing into a rhino's rear end. Startled, the rhino charged forward and started a chain reaction of animals bumping into each other and falling to their deaths. "Oopsy daisy," she said with a giggle. She then get back onto her feet and brushed herself off with her free hand.

"Now, prepare to die...again!" She repeated, once again sprinting his way, this time more careful for stray peanut butter. Unfortunately he now had time to get back onto his own feet so her special advantage attack wouldn't work, but she was still confident she could defeat him now that she was attacking him with a katana, the best weapon in existence past, present, or future. As she got closer she's swing her blade quickly from left to right, intending to cut off his head.

[rocketrobie2]

David almost burst out laughing as he saw the scene before him but he quickly got to his feet as he was given enough time to do something about it. As he got to his feet and saw the sword wielding maniac he called to his Uni-Tiger to help him in battle but alas Bavid was whimpering as he saw all his animal kingdom friends dining out at the chain reaction of the rhino. David knew that he was going to have to do something and quick so he held his hand up in the air and called forth his briefcase from its decent. The briefcase flew straight through pride rock and into David's hand just in time to stop the katana from chopping off his melon. The force from the blow knocked David back though but he recovered as quickly as he could and took a swipe at the girl with his briefcase in a diagonal fashion. "By the power of pickles and peanut butter, I have THE POWER!" David yelled mid=way through his swipe.

[ImportantNobody]

"Urusai yo ne, kisama! Shine!" She screamed at him, switching to Japanese for some reason and also possibly poor Japanese at that despite being fluent (and because I'm not fluent by any means being the main reason). It was likely the weapons interfering with her brainwaves to make her bloodthirsty and not think as clearly about things that don't involve killing. "Watashi wa sugoku subarashii! Anata wa baka! Tofu! Anime! Shinigami!!!" As she finished her rant she deflected his "I have the power!" swing and pressed up against his weapon, locking them together as she locked eyes with him.

Then, in the middle of their epic struggle, she summoned a pistol in her left hand and shot it gangster style at his forehead.

[rocketrobie2]

As David's brain comprehended the gun being summoned from the girl's skin he dropped his own legs out from beneath himself in order to dodge the bullet. In his state he wasn't bullet proof, he was but a man and had no real powers of his own but he did have the power of a can do attitude. "Bavid! Quit crying over you friends and family and come to my rescue!" David yelled and snapped his Uni-Tiger out of its funk. The tiger came racing towards the gunslinging, sword wielding, broken Japanese speaking, truck driving girl with it full laser light show focused on her. As the beast carried out its attack David used this time to even the playing field by drenching himself in pickles and peanut butter in order to form his sticky armour.

[ImportantNobody]

Kawaii switched to German for some reason as the lightshow struck her eyes even worse than before, blinding her temporarily. "Nein nein nein!" She shouted angrily. Too bad she didn't have sunglasses programmed into her summoning capabilities. She had to make room for a new Nintendo 3DS XL super cute pikachu edition instead. Not the new 3DS called the New 3DS, but that's a story for another time. Or was it? She summoned the game console and used it's reflective surface to try to send some of the light back into her attacker's eyes as well. Although this didn't help her cause, if it harmed her enemy then that was still a plus. Hopefully if this blinded him as well then his beams could no longer track her position as she blindly stumbled around to exit the beam's path. If she managed to get free of it then she could continue her attack.

[rocketrobie2]

The stupendous and colourful beams were indeed reflected away and into one of the =avid's eyes. That -avid was Bavid though and the tiger went toppling onto the ground with a loud crash that made pride rock shake. The hole in which was made by David's briefcase had compromised the structural integrity of the giant rock and it was now very sensitive like a person skin on acutane. David quickly got to his feet in his new armour and held his briefcase in his hand. He opened the thing up and sent forth a garage of pickle and peanut butter in his opponent's direction in the hopes of getting some distance between them. "You are but a kinder in comparison to my power!" David yelled in a bad and fake German accent.

[ImportantNobody]

Kawaii was glad that she got her vision back, but this was only to see a tidal wave of peanut butter and pickle rushing towards her, not one of the best sights unless she was super hungry and liked such a nasty combination. She dodged backwards, feeling the earth move under her feet, and with her disorientation from the previous attacks it was like the sky was tumbling down as well. Or perhaps that was just her and her insanity kicking in. For some reason an old pop rock tune came into her head but couldn't quite place the words.

Her opponent was more skilled than she had anticipated judging by his looks, but then again she didn't look like much either. She summoned a flame thrower and unleashed the torrent at the opposing stream of food, never experiencing such a class before so wondering which would win out. Would the peanut butter smother the flames? Would it create a brand new delicious food item or would it just stink to high heaven? Things could get interesting.

[rocketrobie2]

As the two forces fought for dominance and sweet smell began to be crated as peanut butter cookies began to spill from where the fire and food concoction met. The one known as David kept this up for a while before yelling out over the torrent of carnage "HEY! HEY gun lady! Wanna take a brief cookie break!" David yelled as he was beginning to become hungry from the aroma.

[ImportantNobody]

On one hand she loved killing things, but on another hand she loved cookies, so it made things hard to decide. It became clear that he could summon enough peanut butter to stem the tide of her fire, so she wouldn't gain much ground here anyways. She shrugged and dropped the weapon at her feet.

"Sure, I guess, but only if I get to kill you afterwards. And they better be oishi! Good tasting, just so you know," she explained and then plopped down on the carcass of an unfortunate giraffe to use as a dinning table.

[rocketrobie2]

"You can TRY, to kill me later." David said as he walked to the pile of peanut butter and pickle cookies. he picked one up and took a bite. "Not that ba-" David said but was interrupted as he began blowing chunks all over pride rock. The cookies may have tasted good but they did not agree with his stomach, not one bit.

[ImportantNobody]

"Aha! You try to poison me with fowl cookies!" She shouted as if discovering a well orchestrated plot. "I'm too clever for that!" She continued, despite having prepared to eat some of her own. She sprung up from her seat, a disgruntled look on her face both from having been "betrayed" and that she wouldn't be having any cookies after all. To avenge herself she brandished not just one katana but a second one that can out of her left hand so that she was now dual wielding. Last time he had blocked her with that suitcase, but now he'd have an extra sword to contend with.

She charged his position, her right sword aiming for his neck with the left aiming towards his chest.

[rocketrobie2]

"I don't like this! Nope!" David yelled as he just began running in the other direction and towards his Uni-tiger whom of which was coming out of its dazed state. The beast reared up and lunged at the Katana wielding girl with the ferocity of a baby whom of which was just woken up.

[ImportantNobody]

Kawaii was forced to halt her advance and point her left katana in the direction of the tiger's lunge. Her right katana was held at the ready to slash at him if he continued his advance and got into range. Either impaled on her left katana or not, he probably wouldn't get out unscathed either way. Unfortunately for Kawaii the same held true for her unless the impaling was able to incapacitate him instantly.

[rocketrobie2]

The Uni-Tiger saw the incoming sword and used its power of laser light shows to fire beams in all directions once more, hoping to make the slash unable to hit him. Bavid leapt as high as he could over the woman but was still snagged down his back leg by the held out Katana.