<Snipped quote by Voltus_Ventus>
Use the pornographic scroll to bandage your wounds. (I'm not sure this would actually work, but it's literally the only idea I have, other than stripping a goblin of his clothes, cutting it up, and stopping the bleeding that way.)
- read the scroll aloud and hope the goblins find you exiting/entertaining
- cry/yell/scream loud enough for one of us to find you.
- attempt to stitch your wounds with the threat and a makeshift needle
- bandage yourself with goblin rags (if the dm is at least 60% distilled evil you will get an infection though)
- walk it off! try and tough trough it trough sheer will to live (he's been mortally wounded before)
- literally pray for a miracle
- find some herbs in the woods you remember from some old folksy remedy
- sell soul to unsavory outsider
- accept death and make a last stand against the horde
- wallow in self pity
- try and convince the bandits you are someone of importance to their boss and it's in their best interest to bring you in alive