If this thread overtakes the MLP game, I'll wear a Brony avatar and sig for a year.

[Unfortunately]

if you see this text while scrolling

you have been visited by

FRESH PRINCE OF NIGERIA

good fortune and gold will come to you

but only if you send your bank account number and your security number on a quote

[Scarifar]

ZQFMGB

A worm found in New Guinea. Everyone knows that.

[Vanguardian]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.

Im Helping Now!

[Vanguardian]

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch.

[Vanguardian]

What the darn-diddily-doodily did you just say about me, you little witcharooney? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and I’m the top converter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the Internet? Think again, friendarino. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfield and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your life of sin. You’re going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anytime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and that’s just with his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers, but I have access to the entire dang- diddily Bible collection of the Springfield Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgearoo tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re clean of all your sins, you widdillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you will drown in the love of Christ. You’re farn-foodily- flank-fiddily reborn, kiddo-diddily.

[mdk]

party foul. Double/triple posting is cheating!

.....but I can't stop you. Go ahead. See if I care. You'll never succeed.

[BrobyDDark]

What if this is just mdk's way of coming out as a Brony? What if this is just a ploy so that he doesn't have to make a thread about being a Brony?

It's OK, mdk. We'll still accept you, even if you do watch kid's shows about cartoon horses.

[Unfortunately]

jet fuel can melt steel beams

conspiracists lied to us

[Vanguardian]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I dropped out of high school and have 300 confirmed scrobbles of John Cage. I run a blog that gets 12 views per day and I only listen to music in FLAC. You are nothing to me but just another sage. I will destroy your reputation here, mark my fucking words. I have 12 identical images of an animated sun that I'm prepared to dump in your thread. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am greentexting what you previously wrote and am about to ask you to define certain words you used even though everybody knew exactly what you meant.You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can derail a thread with a single post. Not only have I listened to every classic Krautrock album, I've listened to the Scaruffi top 25, the RYM top 100, all of the patriciancore list -- you fucking name it. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will sage you and you will wallow in your anger for the rest of your pathetic day. You're fucking reported, kiddo.

[Vanguardian]

What ze fuck did you just fucking say about me, you verdammter Jude? I'll have you know I graduated top of mein class in ze Hitlerjugend, and I've been involved in numerous secret Gestapo raids in Berlin, and I have over 300 confirmed executions. I am trained in gorilla gassing and I am ze top sniper in ze entire Wehrmacht. You are nothing to me but just another race traitor. I will wipe you ze fuck out with precision ze likes of which has never been seen before on this Reich, mark mein fucking words. You think you can get away with saying zat scheiße to me over ze Internet? Think again, arschloch. As vee speak I am contacting mein secret network of spies across Deutschland and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for ze storm, blödel. Ze storm zat wipes out ze pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and zat's just with mein machinenpistole. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed kampf, but I have access to ze entire arsenal of ze Wehrmacht forces and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable arsch off ze face of ze Reich, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy blitzkrieg your little "clever" kommentar was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying ze price, you verdammter dummkopf. I will shit Zyklon B all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

[Vanguardian]

And the final one!
What the fuck did you just fucking say about My Little Pony, you bucking foal? I’ll have you know it's ranked top out of all the shows on the Hub, and it has been won numerous awards, and has over 300 thousand confirmed fans. Lauren Faust is trained in sociology and has the top team in the entire cartoon industry. You are nothing to them but just another target. They will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this subreddit, mark my bucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about My Little Pony over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak this I am contacting my secret network of bronies across the USA and your IP is being doxxed right now so you better prepare for the friendship cannon, coltcuddler. The friendship that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re bucking dead, foal. Navy Seal copypastas can be anywhere, anytime, and they can confuse you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with mad-lib permutations. Not only are they extensively trained in trolling, but they have access to the entire arsenal of Anonymous and will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Internet, you little shit. If only you could have known what chaotic retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your bucking muzzle. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn canter. I will shit love and tolerance all over you and you will drown in it. You’re bucking dead, kiddo.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little pony? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in magic kindergarten, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Nightmare Moon, and I have over 300 confirmed friendships. I am trained in magic warfare and I’m the top pony in the entire Equestrian armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another friend. I will wipe you the fuck out with friendship the likes of which has never been seen before on Equestria, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Ponynet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of pegasi across Equestria and your hoofprints are being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, pony. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can hug you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hooves. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed friendship, but I have access to the entire arsenal of ponies and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable flank off the face of the continent, you little pony. If only you could have known what magical friendship your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn pony. I will shit friendship all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, pony.

[Antarctic Termite]

[Vanguardian]

What the say did you just say fuck me about, you bitching a little? I'll have you graduate I know top of my Seals in the Navy Classes, and I've been raided in numerou Al Quaeda secret involvements, and I have killed over 300 confirmations. I am a trained gorilla. In warfare, I'm the sniper arm in the entire US force tops. You are targeting me but I'm just another nothing. I will fuck you with precision the wipes which has never been liked before on this scene. Earth, fuck my marking words. You can get away with thinking that shit over me to the Internet? Fuck again, thinker. As we spy I am networking my secret speaking across the trace and your IP is being prepared right now so you better storm the maggots. The wipes that storms out of the little pathetic thing. Life you call yours? Your fucking dead kids. I can be any time. I can weigh you in over seven hundred kills, and that's my bear hands. Not only am I extensively accessed by trains, but I have no arms for combatting the entire arsenal United States, and I will use it to wipe your miserable ass. You shit the faceoff of the continent. If you only could have commented what unholy cleverness your little "retribution" was about. To bring down upon you, maybe you would have fucked your tongue. But you wouldn't, you shouldn't, and now you're holding the pay, you goddamn idiot. I will drown in shit fury. Sincerely, your dead fucking kiddo.

[Vanguardian]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little red bitch orb? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the gas giants, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids elliptical orbits, and I have over 300 confirmed storms in my might atmostphere. I am the furthest planet in the solar system and I have the largest liquid water oceans in the known universe. You are nothing to me but just another point of light. I will wipe you the divert comets at your with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Earth or mars, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of moons across the solar system and your orbital path is being traced right now so you better prepare for the apocalypse, maggot. The impact that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your world. Your fucking dead, kid. I can anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you with a comet over seven miles wide, and that's just with my gravity. Not only am I a large body of mass, but I have access to the entire arsenal of moons and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the solar system, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution you little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

[Vanguardian]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you male pig? I'll have you know I graduated top of my Womyn's Studies class, and I've been involved in numerous demonstrations against oppression of womynkind, and I have over 300 signatures on my petition. I am trained in debate tactics and I'm the top speaker in the entire Feminist Frequency. You are nothing to me but just another cis scum. I will reeducate the fuck out of you with feminism the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, male oppressor. As we speak I am contacting my public network of activists across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, misogynist. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your worldview. You're fucking dead, nerd. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can disprove your biased theories in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with no preparation time. Not only am I extensively trained in rhetorics, but I have access to the entire funding of the Tropes vs Women in Video Games project and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable opinions off the face of the Internet, you rapist. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you godessdamn idiot. I will rain empowerment all over womyn and your cisprivilege will drown in it. Your rape culture is over, man.

[Frizan]

[Vanguardian]

What's this you've said to me, my good friend? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in conflict resolution, and Ive been involved in numerous friendly discussions, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in polite discussions and I'm the top mediator in the entire neighborhood. You are worth more to me than just another target. I hope we will come to have a friendship never before seen on this Earth. Don't you think you might be hurting someone's feelings saying that over the internet? Think about it, my friend. As we speak I am contacting my good friends across the USA and your P.O. box is being traced right now so you better prepare for the greeting cards, friend. The greeting cards that help you with your hate. You should look forward to it, friend. I can be anywhere, anytime for you, and I can calm you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my chess set. Not only am I extensively trained in conflict resolution, but I have access to the entire group of my friends and I will use them to their full extent to start our new friendship. If only you could have known what kindness and love your little comment was about to bring you, maybe you would have reached out sooner. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now we get to start a new friendship, you unique person. I will give you gifts and you might have a hard time keeping up. You're finally living, friend.

[Vanguardian]

Quod irrumabo tu iustus fucking dicunt de me, parum stercore? Male vos scire Curabitur summo mei genus in in Navy Sigilla, et UI fuerint in multus secretum populationes Al-Quaeda, et mihi super CCC confirmata necat. Ego sum docti in orci militiae et Im summo sniper in tota US copiis. Sed tu mihi nihil aliud signum. Pedicabo delebo te cum praecisione similia quae numquam visa super terram verbis meis attende in stupri. Putas possit cum dicens quod stercore ad me super Penitus? Cogitare iterum, fucker. Ut loqui sum dictum occultis meis network exploratores trans USA et IP sit investigari nunc sic melius parare tempestas, vermiculus. Tempestate quod deleo ex in misellus parum res tu vitae. Vestra fucking mortuus, hœdum. Usquam possum, aliquando et super te interficere septingenti viis thats iusto nuda manus. Non solum sum late docti in inermes pugna, sed aditus ad totum armamentarium Civitatum Foederatarum Marine Corps et uti ad eius plena quatenus ad absterget tuam miseram asinum facie continens, parum stercore. Si modo potuit quid impia retributionem parvulus callidus comment erat ut super te, fortasse esset tenuit tua stupri lingua. Vos couldnt, non iam vestra solvendo pretium goddamn stultus es. Ego stercore furore omnes super te et erit mergunt in eam. Vestra fucking mortuus, kiddo.

[Vanguardian]

WHERT DA FERCK DERD U JERST FERCKIN SER ERBERT MAH, U LERTL BERTCH? ERL HERV U KNER I GRERDERTERD TERP ERF MAH CLERS ERN DA SHER SERLS, ERND ERV BERN ERNVERLVERD ERN NERMAHRERS SERCRERT RERDS ERN MAHRDER, ERND I HERV ERVER 30 CERNFERMAHD KERLS. I ERM TRERNERD ERN GERLERM WERFER ERND ERM DA TERP HERBERT ERN DA ERNTER HERBERTERN ERMAHD FERCERS. U ER NERTHIN TER MAH BERT JERST ERNERTHER TERGERT. I WERL WERP U DA FERCK ERT WERTH PRERCERSERN DA LERKERS ERF WHERCH HERS NERVER BERN SERN BERFER ERN THERS MAHDLERTH, MAHRK MAH FERCKIN WERDS. U THERNK U CERN GERT ERWER WERTH SIN THERT SHERT TER MAH ERN A RIN? THERNK ERGERN, FERCKER. ERS WER SPERK I ERM CERNTERCTIN MAH SERCRERT NERTWERK ERF SPERS ERCRERS GERNDER ERND YER MAHSTER ERS BIN TRERCERD RERGHT NER SER U BERTER PRERPER FER DA STERM, MAHGERT. DA STERM THERT WERPERS ERT DA PERTHERTERC LERTL THIN U CERL YER LERF. YER FERCKIN DERD, KERD. I CERN BER ERNERWHER, ERNERTERM, ERND I CERN KERL U ERN ERVER SERVERN HERNDRERD WERS, ERND THERTS JERST WERTH MAH BER HERNDS. NERT ERNLER ERM I ERXTERNSERVERLER TRERNERD ERN ERNERMAHD CERMBERT, BERT I HERV ERCERS TER DA ERNTER ERSERNERL ERF DA RERERERM ERND I WERL ERS ERT TER ERTS FERL ERXTERNT TER WERP YER MAHSERERBL ERS ERF DA FERC ERF DA CERNTERNERNT, U LERTL SHERT. ERF ERNLER U CERLD HERV KNERN WHERT ERNHERLER RERTRERBERTERN YER LERTL "CLERVER" RIN WERS ERBERT TER BRIN DERN ERPERN U, MAHB U WERLD HERV HERLD YER FERCKIN TINER. BERT U CERLDNT, U DERDNT, ERND NER YER PIN DA PRERC, U GERDERMN ERDERT. I WERL SHERT FERER ERL ERVER U ERND U WERL DRERN ERN ERT. YER FERCKIN DERD, SERERN.

[Sana]