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Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Imaginary
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Imaginary Let's start a riot.

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I'd like to flesh out her experience in Colombia, how she came across her abilities and her distaste for NEST IC.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Mixtape Ghost N
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@Imaginary ... This is going to sound like a colossal dick move (And it is), but I just accepted a friend's character with a very similar power. lol

Also, you need to put the information within the indents.

Hey, I dunno if anybody noticed this but the name for this rp is Verthaven: A Booty Paradise.


I'm surprised no one noticed that Jesus is the Co-GM.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Aphelion
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Felicia

First, if you're going to have martial arts as a talent, that's okay, but just be aware that standing at 4'6 and 86 lbs, there is no amount of martial arts on earth that will save Felicia from getting her ass handed to her by someone who knows what she's doing. Not starting a character dick measuring contest here, just want to make sure we're on the same page-we see a lot of character with "martial arts" as a talent on their pages, and while martial arts are useful...well, everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face. She can be trained and have excellent technique, but she's also 4'6. Even with skill, size and strength can't be entirely ignored, and when a lot of people have 1-1.5 feet and 100+ pounds on your character, she's going to be very limited in what she can do. Her size is also something of a concern-I'm not sure if that's dwarfism exactly, but is there a reason? If you want a small character that's perfectly fine, but if it's the result of nutritional deficiencies or a genetic issue then we just want to be sure. There should also be a little more explanation of the psychological effects of seeing what happened to her friend, most people don't shrug that off.

As for her power. This is a really cool power, but object manipulation is very open-ended and incredibly strong without more limitations. Can she talk a pistol into flipping its safety on when someone's about to shoot her? Or convince a hand grenade to pull its pin? Or talk a car into cutting its brake wires? Etc, etc. Just being able to talk to inanimate objects would be more acceptable-honestly, I think with a power like that you wouldn't even need a weakness (beyond the psychological grievances of having to talk with everything/never being alone), but being able to manipulate objects outright is very strong. Willing to be manipulated isn't a suitable weakness as, well, no offense, you'd be the one determining whether or not they were willing. Adjusting their strength is also out of the question, as she could throw a pebble at someone and make it hit with the force of a .50 cal round. I really admire the creativity, but it's an incredibly strong power and needs to get toned down quite a bit.


Edited her a bit to reflect all of this. Added in more strict limits/guidelines, and more clearly defined weaknesses. If you still feel it needs to be toned down after, I'll try my best. She's supposed to be a Jackie Chan, grab an object and fight with it sort of character, but not overly strong in any fashion (stated in her skills section that she lacks raw power).

Also, I've trained in Okinawan Goju Ryu/Mixed Martial Arts for about 10 years as a 5'0 female weighing in at around 115lbs for most of my training. The men had more weight and strength, but I was typically able to outdo them during sparring based purely on tenacity and technique. Unless they just kept kicking at me. That usually worked out for them really well, tall bastards. I'm not saying this to be snarky, I just wanted to let you know I know the limits of a martial artist. Especially a female martial artist that has men tower over her on a daily basis. I'm dating a guy who is around 5'2'', and at least some of the reason is because I don't like looking so far up. xD

@Aphelion Only thing I want you to tone down is the size manipulation. Either remove it, or tone it down a lot (Dunno about turning a wall into a small brick). Other than that, she's solid.


Restricted it even further. If it still is inappropriate, I'll rework it to exclude changing their sizes (although then her charm bracelet would be useless. She'd look so cool running around with a master sword xD )

Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Luminous Beings
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Gotcha. 5'0 and 115 I think is a lot better than the original weight. This looks great now. And I hope I didn't offend you (or anyone, for that matter), there's a large number of sheets in the RP's Lone does that get characters who have martial arts as a skill solely for the purpose of "I want my character to be able to win fights when it happens", and I'm just suspicious about that in general. However, you obviously know what you're doing and judging from Felicia it's more than a tacked-on trait, it's a part of her character. All's well.

Also, don't come kick my ass
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Mixtape Ghost N
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@Aphelion She's accepted, you may place her in the character tab. Welcome to the finest.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Aphelion
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And I hope I didn't offend you (or anyone, for that matter)

Also, don't come kick my ass


Naw, neither you or @Mr Allen J offended me. The power needed more clarification and weaknesses/limits.

Can't promise anything on the second part ;3

Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Automaton
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@Mr Allen J I did, but I just wasn't surprised that someone would use that name xD
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Mixtape Ghost N
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@Mr Allen J I did, but I just wasn't surprised that someone would use that name xD


In a way, you could say that He Who Walks Behind is Jesus.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Luminous Beings
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I've been told I'm more of a Buddha, actually
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by SepticGentleman
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SepticGentleman 𝙼𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙼𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎

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I've been told I'm more of a Buddha, actually


You're a fucking grocery store and that's final.
2x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by UrbanEvolution
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<Snipped quote by He Who Walks Behind>

You're a fucking grocery store and that's final.


Hook, line, and what the fuck.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Automaton
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So I don't wanna be THAT guy. But I was wondering if you guys could take another look at my sheet. I Really want to get accepted into this Rp.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Mixtape Ghost N
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So I don't wanna be THAT guy. But I was wondering if you guys could take another look at my sheet. I Really want to get accepted into this Rp.


There is nothing wrong with your character - I mean, he could be better, but nothing immediately wrong.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Automaton
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What do you suggest I do to make him better? so that I may be accepted?.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Mixtape Ghost N
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@Automaton Hmmmm... I'll give you a chance. He's accepted, you may add him to the character tab.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Automaton
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Thanks! :D. Adding him right now!
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by SepticGentleman
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SepticGentleman 𝙼𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙼𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎

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@Automaton Whatever Pure boys he's been jamming were posers and jackals. Now comes the real chapter.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Automaton
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@SepticGentleman seriously though I made the decision to make him hate Purists because I read your sample post and I was like "you know what, lets have a little war".
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SepticGentleman 𝙼𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙼𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎

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@SepticGentleman seriously though I made the decision to make him hate Purists because I red your sample post and I was like "you know what, lets have a little war".


There is no war. Only the table corner.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by UrbanEvolution
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Post 100 is mine.

Penis
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