[OOC] We Are the Crystal Gems

[Kronshi]

@21308 I imagine someone who pays a lot of attention, like Spinel, would be able to warp. If all else fails, Blood is still sulking there.

[Akayaofthemoon]

@21308

I sure hope that happy parts come soon cause I need it. Thank you for offering to do what I now think is the most awful part to do >.< I am honestly glad that I was able to do a pretty good job with briefly writing for Howlite and the death part.

What Kronshi said for the warp

[Akayaofthemoon]

@Loony

You guys are always good company ^-^ I loves you all *huggles*

[Kronshi]

Ok guys, I really need sleep. Goodnight.

[Akayaofthemoon]

@Kronshi

Nighty night

[Loony]

@Kronshi G'night Kronshi, and sweet dreams.

[Akayaofthemoon]

I will proabably be going to bed soon too now that the long sad post is done cause I have a long trip tomorrow. I am not even sure I will get to be able to get on tomorrow.

[21308]

@Loony I sincerely hope people in your life are better at balancing things than the people in mine... they probably will be, honestly. In recent years I've learned that I have a real tendency to expose myself to people who use me and kick me to the curb, but it's probably best not to talk about that... this thread is already emo enough as it is. Looking back on it the only one I still feel that I have a right to still be angry about is my mom's abusive boyfriend/husband because I was still just a kid and had no choice in being dragged along for that one, but I've come to understand that it wasn't her fault. I'm sure that growing up in a home like that hasn't exactly given me the best view of relationships, to be honest.

@Akayaofthemoon I guess I'd sort of be like the official RP mortician. I'll get to work on writing some funny Spinel parts, Halloween should be pretty hilarious if I can do it right.

[Akayaofthemoon]

@21308

I think we will all need Halloween soon after this

[21308]

@Akayaofthemoon Definitely! Also good night, get some good rest and stuff!

[Loony]

First relatively short Eve post in a lot time! *Phew*

Anyways, sleep is a thing I should probably get to soon. G'night everyone, and I know it's been said many times but it must be said again, you guys are all awesome and I love you all. Take care of yourselves, you all deserve the best~ ' v '

BwahIhopeI'mnotgettingtoomushy

[21308]

@Loony You're great too, and I liked your post! It should be fun responding too, I can't wait to try my hand at socially awkward Chromite. Good night!

[Akayaofthemoon]

@21308

I will try my best ^-^ Love you all and night night. Sweetest dreams.

Loony I am sorry for not speaking up on the relationship thing. I understand where you are both coming from but I am a romantic at heart and I have found a person just right for me. He is my best friend and the person I share everything with. This has nothing to do with where I was born but more to do with my family. I had both my great grandparents well into my teen years and they had known each other all their lives and had been married for more than 75 years. The made me see and believe in the love people could have.

I am not without my hurts. For awhile I didn't believe in love and thought I would never have it plus didn't want it. My mother had an abusive boyfriend and for awhile I blamed her for letting it happen. For my pain and her pain. Not understanding why she was staying. Then he started to emotionally abuse me. Calling me horrible things, saying I couldn't do anything without help and saying that no one would every love me and that if I found it that I would lose it for sure. The hurt me more than I can say. I still can't stand certain people yelling. Through all this I still believe in relationships and love. Romantic or otherwise. I think the whole, you need to get married and find love is too heavily pushed in America but I don't think it is just that. I think people want to believe in that kind of love my great grandparents have. That good or bad you will have someone by your side that will keep loving every part of you.
It is something most people have a hard time finding.
I wish people did focus on love of family and friends because I feel strong love for them. It doesn't always have to be romantic type like most people are so focused on writing or in general.
Sorry if this was weird to say.

[21308]

@Akayaofthemoon It wasn't weird but now I'm afraid you'll be asleep before I get to say anything back, and I feel like something that you clearly put a lot of thought into deserves a response... I know it was probably more for Loony than for me but eh.... for now just know that I read it. I'm also really, really sorry to hear your mom was with an abusive person, I know that pain all too well.

[Akayaofthemoon]

@21308

It took me a long time to move past it and every now and then I revert back, I crumble into a crying mess with his words on repeat and I'm sorry is the only thing I can say. It only happens when certain people yell. I think it is a tone or attitude that triggers it. I have moved on a great deal. I can take freely of it and it has no power to hold me back or hurt me anymore. Sometimes I am afriad...afraid he saw something in me that was right cause I can't stand the thought of losing me husband in anyway but then I think, he is wrong. I am so much more than he ever saw. I know I am and even though he took my ignorance of everyone is wonderful away, he also opened my eyes to steer clear of those like him. A wolf in sheep skin.

I blamed myself for a long time because I could have made us leave sooner. I thought my mom was happy so when she asked me if I was happy, I lied and said yes. I didn't realize she was unhappy and looking for a reason to leave. It will forever be my biggest regret. This is why I don't lie or try my best never too. I tell it how it is or try to say nothing at all.

[21308]

@Akayaofthemoon I can't say how sorry I am that happened to you, but I'm really happy to see that you're moving past it. Absolutely don't take anything he said to heart, I guarantee he didn't see anything in you besides something he could turn into an insecurity he could exploit, because that's what people like that do. Please don't blame yourself either. I know it's hard, I blamed myself for a long time too. I felt like I failed to protect my family from someone who was blatantly taking advantage of us. Some of what you just described was literally me for years, right up to the lying to keep the peace because you genuinely believed that your parent was happy. The truth is that there isn't anything you could have done, the only person to blame in that situation is the person manipulating you.

I don't know, I'm sure you've heard it all before but I felt like you deserved some encouragement, and hell if I can't totally relate to your story.

[Akayaofthemoon]

@21308

I know all this and I have put the blame in the past. No matter what my mom says though, it is a regret. I should never have lied but it has happened and I can't change it. I think I am stronger for it. I know it is a scar on my heart but it doesn't hurt anymore and it is rare that I every fall. I can honestly say that love from friends, family, and even the one I love more than anything has done even more to my already healed heart. He knows my bad. He knows my good and sees more in me than I can sometimes see in myself. Love is strange. It is torture and wonder. It is nothing you can explain until you feel it for yourself. It will just hit you. I went on two dates and I knew. This is the man I want to be with. This is the person I want to share everything with. This is the person I trust my heart too. This is the person that will see me for me. This is the person that can read my mind or shares close thoughts. This is the person that can see when my mask is on and no one else can. He knows when I am mad. When I am sad or what I need to be happy.

I can't say romantic love is everything but it is worth having. Sometimes your family and friends just can't support you the way your lover can. I know that is silly if you haven't felt romantic love or don't want it but it is true.

[21308]

@Akayaofthemoon Well, I'm really pleased to hear that things are going so well for you then. All that stuff you just said was like, incredibly heartwarming and sweet. I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I'm really glad you found someone who makes you so happy and have such a great relationship going. I guess it's a little bit corny to say (I guess this group is no stranger to that though, at this point) but it really warms my heart when you guys talk about how happy you are for any reason.

I don't know.... I mean, since we're sharing, I'll say that the only relationship I've ever been in was pretty much a giant 'meh.' It's mostly a blur to me now, but just like literally every other relationship I've had with people my own age, family included, it was ruined by their persistence about using drugs. The last straw for me walking away was when they screamed at me and refused to touch me or look at me for most of a day, literally just because I told them I was done with that life, if that gives you any idea what type of relationship it was. Part of me still cares for the individual because I want them to be okay, but I don't miss that relationship for a second, it doesn't even occur to me to.

I think I agree with you, I guess I'm not really well informed enough yet to say. I don't think I've ever felt actual romantic love before. I can definitely see how you're most likely right on both points though.

[Akayaofthemoon]

@21308

I look at some of my past relationships and they were meh. Some I loved them dearly but they were bad for me. Some were just miscommunication. My husband was the first time I just knew. It was how we matched and didn't match. That I felt happy and cloud nine when he was near. I thought I loved some of my past boyfriends dearly but as I said it was always me giving more or expressing myself and going bad or no communication. With my husband, everything was in the open and when I said something he didn't like, it wasn't thrown at me. He told me his thoughts. We could be open

I know it is silly but they mean it when they say love just hits you. It doesn't have to make sense. It just happens when you least expect it or aren't even looking.

[21308]

@Akayaofthemoon Yeah... one of the big things I've always heard and assumed was true was that the way you know you're in love is when you develop that subtle way of communicating with someone where they just understand you perfectly, so much so that maybe you don't even need words. I think it sounds really sweet but I can live without it. I wish I could say I totally see what you mean but it seems like something you'd have to know from experience.

Also wow, it's extremely late. I should probably be getting the rest of my sleep but more importantly you really need to get all of yours! Maybe I'll be able to talk more on this tomorrow or something.