Crush my dreams!

[Flynn]

Easy game. I post something I want/wish, and you come up with a way that f*cks it up.

I wish to be rich.

[GodOfWar]

@Flynn

45% of rich people either owe immense amounts of money to anonymous sources, causing them to become immediately poor afterwards with some debts still left over. While another 45% become greedy hogs who die unfulfilled and lonely.

The leftover 10% worked for their wealth, and finally got it at an elderly age. Then died, without fully enjoying it.

[Flynn]

:( Way to make it depressive.

Anywho, now you post your dream/wish, and someone else will crush it, and then (s)he will post her/his wish or dream and rince and repeat! Fun for everyone!

[GodOfWar]

I want to be Spider-Man when I grow up!

[Light]

Your favorite uncle dies.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

[Vilageidiotx]

You never will, because you are a butt.

I wish I may I wish I might.

[Raxacoricofallapatorius]

You are forever trapped in the Dragon Tales universe.

I wish I had a puppy.

[BrobyDDark]

Puppy has cancer, and now so do you.

I wish there was a cure for infective puppy cancer.

[GodOfWar]

Infective Puppy Cancer will be cure-able in >10 years, your puppies will die by then.

Can I have a pony for my birthday?!

[Antarctic Termite]

You receive a pony. You are uneducated in caring for it. The pony spends its life with limited contact in a small enclosure. It becomes psychologically traumatised, unsociable and unpredictable, but ultimately helpless, before dying of malnourishment at a young age. You grow up slowly realising all the things you did wrong, all the things you interpreted as love and contentment that were actually misery, bitterly regretting your childhood and constantly second-guessing yourself over whether what you're doing now is the right thing.

I wish that this wish will not be granted.

[Joegreenbeen]

Your with is a paradox, so I have no work to do. Because the paradox aliens from the 42nd dimension are coming for you.
---

You are forever trapped in the Dragon Tales universe.

@Raxacoricofallapatorius

Why is that a bad thing?

[Raxacoricofallapatorius]

I wish that whenever I open the fridge, I will see exactly what I want to eat, even if I don't know what I want.

Puppy has cancer, and now so do you.

@BrobyDDark

My dog died of cancer.

Why is that a bad thing?

@Joegreenbeen

That's not a wish, so…

[Lunamaria]

I wish I became a popular science fiction author. Actually, a legend. With more than 200 books all published and all well-received... before I die. I want to leave a mark on the world with my epic tales of military fantasy and entertaining drama.

[Nerevarine]

A more influential author appears only a few years later who overshadows you entirely; your legacy is largely left to the realm of geeks and nerds, who while all very influence by your work, alienate other more mainstream audiences

I wish to reunite the Roman Empire

[WanderingShield]

Emperor Nero is back.

I wish my family would move across the country with my husband and I.

[BrobyDDark]

My dog died of cancer.

@Raxacoricofallapatorius

Woop, sorry. Didn't know.

I wish my family would move across the country with my husband and I.

@WanderingShield

They do, but they spend the majority of their time there nagging at you and your husband to do chores and homework.

___________

I wish there was a way to beat this.

[Raxacoricofallapatorius]

You figure it out but in doing so your success is immediately transformed into defeat as are all the successes you might have made in the future for the rest of your life.

I wish frozen cream cheese pie was infinite.

[BrobyDDark]

Wish granted. They're all made with shitty off-brand ingredients that have stayed in the sun too long.

________________

I wish our eyes were real so mirrors could be real.

[Joegreenbeen]

You are unable to follow any of your dreams because of your morbid obesity.

You know what, I am not going to change that because it is funnier out of context.

---
I wish I could think of an original wish.

[BrobyDDark]

You are unable to follow any of your dreams because of your morbid obesity.

I wish I could think of an original wish.

@Joegreenbeen

You explode.

I wish these wishes were actually fishes on dishes.