GAME: Crush A Wish

[Mardox]

Granted but you have to use rare and magical ingredients to cast your spells which are rather hard to obtain. Good luck filling a chalice with the laughter of small children...

I wish the genie was my friend.

[Shorticus]

Granted. Your friend's still a jerk, though, and he doesn't go slack with you.

I wish I had some common sense.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, but you realize that nobody else has any, leaving you rolling your eyes and facepalming every time somebody says something. Eventually you get tired of people and decide to live out your days isolated in Antarctica, never to contact humanity again.

I wish it was summer all year round.

[Rusalka]

Granted, but due to it constantly being summer, temperatures continue to rise into the high 100s all over the globe. Massive heatwaves melt the polar ice caps and churn up incredibly powerful severe thunderstorms producing tornados all across the Midwestern United states. The costly damage to numerous farms and ranches are in the billions of trillions of dollars, sending food costs rocketing through the roof and sparking full blown riots all across the country, soon the chaos reaching across the globe and inciting a third destructive world war where all countries unleash their nuclear payload at once, eradicating the human population.

I wish Valentines day was turned into another holiday like....national hipster beatdown day! >:D

[Duthguy]

Granted but instead of national hipster beatdown day it becomes international beat up Rusalka day.

I wish to meet Optimus Prime.

[Kel Kannan]

Granted, *grabs a package from shelf of Toys R us*


I wish I was a billionaire

[Shorticus]

Granted, but the economy sinks so far down the hole that being a billionaire really just means you can afford a used stick of bubble gum.

I wish I were a unicorn!

[Mardox]

Granted but you are constantly pestered by small human children. It gets to the point where you can not go for a run without trampling a few tykes after which their parents conclude you are a menace and you end up in a zoo.

I wish I could read minds.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, but nobody thinks, so you can only read your own mind.

I wish that this wish was incorruptible.

[Shorticus]

Granted. Regrettably, that means you wished for nothing. You wasted your wish on wishing for your only wish to not be twisted against you. Nothing happens. You got exactly what you wished for! Good jerb!

I wish I could communicate how I feel to people in a way they'll understand.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, but you find yourself unable to speak starting tomorrow morning, leaving you less than a day to express your emotions.

I wish I had X-ray vision.

[Mardox]

Granted but you can't turn it off.

I wish for the genie's soul.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, but you are now stuck granting wishes for spoiled roleplayers, only allowed to see the light of day when somebody deems it time to rub the old lamp you call home.

I wish for a pineapple.

[Shorticus]

Granted, but you didn't specify where you wanted that pineapple... I hope you like having a bleeding anus!

I wish for good luck!

[Duthguy]

Granted I get incredibly good luck,while you slip on a banana peel and break your arms and legs.

I wish I had well made and tasty homemade chocolate cake right now, which I don't have to share or lose in some other way before eating it

[Mardox]

Granted but it has mold on the inside so you get sick.

I wish for great wisdom.

[Shorticus]

Granted, but your great wisdom is now paired with a great inability to do anything with it.

I wish I could harness the power of the sun to destroy my enemies!

[Mardox]

Granted but you can only harness the power by hurling the planet they're on into the sun. Since you are presumably on the same planet your power is useless unless you wish for self-destruction.

I wish that virtual reality was commercially available to middle-class families.

[Shorticus]

Granted, but the middle-class are used to test prototypes and hundreds of thousands of people die from brain aneurysms and worse while using these virtual reality suits.

I wish I had a good place to bury this body...

[Mardox]

Granted but the body starts to fall apart on your way there making such a mess that it's impossible to clean it all and forensics gets ya.

I wish humans were smarter.