GAME: Crush A Wish

[Leaves]

Granted, you are in the restroom while I am on some "new shit." Now it's not in your mind, but right in front of you.

I wish I could speak with my heartbeat.

[Briza]

Granted! You can now speak with your heartbeat, but due to a limited vocabulary, the only word your heartbeat knows how to say is an onomatopoeia that sounds very, very, very, like-super-really very, very similar to that of a regular heartbeat.

I wish it would stop.

[FreeElk]

Granted, it stops forever and after a few months you realise how much you miss it and can never start it again. You end up going mad in your desperate attempts to fill the gaps it left.

I wish for the next poster to have a lovely day.

[luna558]

Granted, I finally got to murder my nemesis, making it the loveliest day.
sadly you were caught in the crossfire.

I wish my medication didn't suck

[Leaves]

Granted, it causes your sickness to spread and becomes pretty "sick."

I wish ignorance was my new best friend.

[FreeElk]

Granted, just as some people are named charity or hope because their parents aspire to make their children like that you make a friend called ignorance. He has been brought up to pick up on nothing you try to hint. He constantly follows you around telling you his blindingly ignorant thoughts and won't shut up.

I wish there wasn't quite so much rubbish on tv

[Dnafein]

Granted; Now all the rubbish that rested upon your television set is scattered throughout your residence.

I wish for a puppy.

[Briza]

Granted. You are now the proud owner of a jar that holds the contents of a puppy resting peacefully in formaldehyde and awaiting to help make groundbreaking scientific contributions through dissecting and other such methods! Science!

I wish I had not wished for it to stop.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted. The entire situation is forcefully removed from your memory. You go mad trying to recall just why nothing's there, and what should be.

I wish everyone was the figurative meaning of cool.

[FreeElk]

Granted, except there is no objective definition of 'cool' so they are just their own idea of what is good...so nothing changes.

I wish for everything to work out okay

[RinOkumara]

It but only after the universe is destroyed

I wish I had a yacht called #YachtyMcYachtFace

[Briza]

Granted. You purchased her at Walmart.

I wish Hurricane Harvey was my familiar.