CIA released formerly classified UFO documents

[NotAMouse]

Scrolling through facebook posts about it, came across this gem:

"This is only Satan's show of strength, he is showing us delusions, these aliens are minions of Satan posing as space aliens. Only problem is they have only so much space they can travel in. God has only given them the earth and the air over it, the first heaven. They have the ability to reside within those that do not have God's Holy Spirit within them, these humans are open to suggestions and very vulnerable. If you have any doubts, just watch and see how this progresses."

I think Sarah Palin's long lost sister might have written this.

[Awson]

Science that disagrees with my beliefs IS DEMONS.

DECEITFUL DEMONS

[NotAMouse]

The only way to make people believe the same thing I do is ARMAGEDDON.

[Vilageidiotx]

That doesn't even make sense theologically. What does Satan get out of this? If Satan's gig is to tempt people into abandoning god, how would little green men figure into things? And at what point did god give Satan control of both earth and this "First Heaven"?

[Awson]

If Satan's gig is to tempt people into abandoning god, how would little green men figure into things?

@Vilageidiotx

You haven't heard that one before?

[Vilageidiotx]

I might have and just laughed it off and forgot.

[Awson]

Some think that proof of aliens would be the ultimate contradiction to the bible (and most others), thus starting a worldwide, ultimate crisis of faith, and loss of faith.

Edit: So, y'know, "Satan would fake proof of aliens in order to make people stop believing in God."

[NotAMouse]

Which is why the Vatican has been like "no really it'd be fine if aliens appeared seriously we're ok with it I SWEAR ok i promise all right just please keep tithing."

Meanwhile the hosts of Ancient Aliens are preparing for the best day of their lives.

[Vilageidiotx]

The bible doesn't exactly go into whether or not aliens exist, so it isn't really contradictory.

Unless the aliens say they zapped god a while back so we no longer need to worry about him. That might cause some shit.

[NotAMouse]

"Oh you mean Jesus, the son of God? Yeah we saw him zooming in on a cloud toward you guys a few years back but we diverted him to Andromeda. Haven't seen him since. Y'all are safe."

[Awson]

The bible doesn't exactly go into whether or not aliens exist, so it isn't really contradictory.

@Vilageidiotx

[Vilageidiotx]

"Oh you mean Jesus, the son of God? Yeah we saw him zooming in on a cloud toward you guys a few years back but we diverted him to Andromeda. Haven't seen him since. Y'all are safe."

@Taaj

I want to see a Death Star vs Yahweh match up. That would be a thing.

[NotAMouse]

<Snipped quote by Taaj>

I want to see a Death Star vs Yahweh match up. That would be a thing.

@Vilageidiotx

"WELCOME TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

DEATH STAR

VS

YAAAAAAAAAAAWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

[Larfleeze]

If First Contact occured in your lifetime, would you fuck an alien?

[Vilageidiotx]

If First Contact occured in your lifetime, would you fuck an alien?

@Larfleeze

That depends, are we talking about Twi'leks or The Blob?

[Antarctic Termite]

If First Contact occured in your lifetime, would you fuck an alien?

@Larfleeze

YES

UNCONDITIONALLY

[NotAMouse]

If First Contact occured in your lifetime, would you fuck an alien?

@Larfleeze

it's always been my dream to be inseminated by a non-human creature.

Oh wait are we talking about aliens? I was thinking about Twilight.

[Larfleeze]

<Snipped quote by Larfleeze>

That depends, are we talking about Twi'leks or The Blob?

@Vilageidiotx

Both

<Snipped quote by Larfleeze>

it's always been my dream to be inseminated by a non-human creature.

Oh wait are we talking about aliens? I was thinking about Twilight.

@Taaj

fam i only asked if ya wanted to fuck one, not would you get knocked up. slow down there, buddyfriend

[NotAMouse]

fam i only asked if ya wanted to fuck one, not would you get knocked up. slow down there, buddyfriend

@Larfleeze

What if it's impossible to fuck an alien without getting pregnant, whether you're male or female?

[Larfleeze]

<Snipped quote by Larfleeze>

What if it's impossible to fuck an alien without getting pregnant, whether you're male or female?

@Taaj

Then we need to nuke their planet to radioactive space dust. I am not sharing a galaxy with dirty mpregging ay lmaos