[IC] Supernatural-My Battle (FuriePhoenix+AnnaBeth)

[JustAnna]

Dean groaned, shoving the note back into his pocket as he leaned in a little closer, “I’m aware that humans don’t just walk away from Wendigos. I’ve relived it…over…”

He paused and turned around walking back toward the bed a bit, “…and over. But haunting me? She may not be a monster, but dammit Kenz…that would be the cruelest joke the universe has ever friggin’ played on me!”

It was probably true. The world had a funny way of treating him, punishing him. But this was horrid. Wiping a hand down his face, he turned back to her and pointed toward the door, “By the way, judging by the way my dad talked about our last meeting in the car…you might wanna lay low.

————

Anna noticed the boy walk up to the machine. She barely turned as she picked up her chips from the machine. Something about his demeanor made her smile when he spoke. She stepped back against the soda machine next to her and looked him over, trying to judge him quickly, “Hey. I’m Anna.”

After watching him for a couple of seconds, she pointed to the machine, “You know…the candy in these things is as old as this dumpy hotel. Might wanna stick to the salty foods.”

[FuriePhoenix]

Mika deep down hated her self for bringing so much torment onto Dean in the way she was. But her heart had grown so cold, she couldn't dare to let herself break and feel to the extent she once did with him. But she could see how much he still cared for her...how much he refused to give up on her, to accept she was gone. She was about to say something when he turned back round and pointed to the door, making her raise her eyebrows and widen ehr eyes. "Are you bloody serious right now? You called me here remember? Now you want me to 'lay low' incase your dad finds me?" she questioned, walking over to her bag and grabbing it roughly. "If you're gonna be like this Dean maybe I should go...get my own room or something" she told him, "but Dean? Answer me this one thing, do you still truly believe Mika could be alive? Deep down in your heart, do you feel she's still around?" she asked him.

---------------

Sam smiled back when she smiled at him, stepping forward when she moved out of the way and leaned against the soda machine instead. "Sam. Duely noted" he replied back with a slight smirk. He put in his money and decided to go with the more savoury option of the potato chips. With it coming out of the machine, dropping into the collection section, he shoved his hand in and pulled the bag out. "Guessing you've been here a few days then if you know about the candy quality?" he asked her, before gesturing to let him get a can of soda from the soda machine. "I just got here with my brother and dad, but they're not speaking at the moment so it's soooo awkward right now." he said, rolling his eyes and shrugging to emphasise his point and show how much he hated it that his only family were at logger heads once again over someone, none of them could truly let go.

[JustAnna]

Dean stood and grabbed her bag, ripping it from her hand. He then grabbed her arm, his hand sliding down to her own, “I didn’t mean you couldn’t stay…The door is locked. My dad doesn’t know and probably won’t care to check on me. He knows I’m pissed. So, you’re fine here until morning. You’re more likely to be seen out there trying to get your own place…so sit…”

He tossed her bag back onto the floor and pulled her toward him. He then thought about her question, biting the skin on his lip. He shook his head.

“I don’t know what to believe. I mean…I can’t keep living like this, but if there’s some weird cosmic douchery going on, and she’s alive, I feel like the universe owes it to me. But yes…I feel like she’s still around, in one way or another. I’m just not sure what to do with that feeling…”, he pushed a loose hair behind her ear, smirking.

“In the meantime, I guess you’re her ghost…”

———————-

Anna felt his name ring out like a bell. It was the first human contact, outside of her mom and the people they traveled with that she had been privileged to in a long time. She laughed lightly, still checking him over as she stood. She then pushed away from the machine, moving over for Sam, “Three weeks, actually. And judging by the fact that she’s not back yet, I’m assuming mom is dumping me here for another week.”

She smirked and nodded her head about his family, “Families…Don’t you ever wish you could just get away from it all? I mean…are their problems really ours? I think I do…but…here I am. Still eating the same delivery pizza and cheap vending machine food. I guess it’s not that easy to take care of yourself…without hope that someone else is there for you.”

[FuriePhoenix]

Mika desperately wanted to yell at him for ripping her bag out of her hand, giving him the look of 'what the hell?!' instead as he spoke up, telling her to stay and to sit whilst she glanced down as he grabbed her arm, slid it down and held her hand. Something she wasn't prepared to do..just yet. She let him pull her into him, wondering if this was going in the same direction it always did with them, but she just had to know the answer to her question. She had to know if he wasn't willing to let her go just yet. She needed him to have hope that somehow she'd 'come back to him' just like she promised on that note that day when they were kids. Hearing that he did feel like she was still around in one way or form gave her some kind of hope that he wouldn't give up on them, that he'd figure it out for himself that Kenzi was just a fake persona. Her eyes darted to the side as he pushed a strand of her now white hair behind her ear and smirked.

Glancing back at his eyes, deciding she had done enough looking everywhere but at him, she couldn't help but match his smirk at his remark of her being her ghost. "I guess so but if that's some cheap shot about my hair..." she said back at him, half teasingly, now being the one to place her free hand on his arm and run it downward.

-----------

Sam gave her the look of 'yeesh' when Anna said she had been here for three weeks already. He knew what that was like, going from motel to motel unknowing how long he'd be stuck in said room each time. Sure he had started being allowed on some hunts, but there were still a few where he was left behind because he was the youngest. He hated it greatly as he was always greatly bored being left on his own. He hated that he was always used for the research side of things but rarely included in anything else. "I know how that feels. I wonder the same thing myself, to the point I wanna get away and go to college. But I know it'll cause even more rifts between my brother and dad. So I just don't say anything. I've also been left in a motel for days and days on end, so I get it. It sucks massively" he replied, without going into too much detail, but enough to show he did truthfully understand. With his drink can obtained, he held his two items firmly in his hands.

[JustAnna]

Dean smiled warmly at the joke about her hair and then shrugged, playing into it. He released her, stepping back before they ended up in trouble again. It was the path of least resistance but a path that should be barred if they were going to work together.

“Just stay...that’s all I’m sayin’. It’s my first time alone in a while. The monsters under the bed might get a little rowdy.”

He raised his eyebrows and held out his hands to try and be convincing.

“Plus, I have a cable package. We can handle the business with Mi-...with um ghosts later.”

—————-

“That sounds super familiar.”, she scoffed, looking out toward the parking lot. She noticed the Impala and pointed.

“Your dad even drives the same type car as my mom and her friends. I’m not really allowed to go anywhere with her either. Apparently her job is like...top secret or something.”, and there it was, the connection. The pity for Sam came creeping in, like other kids she had met while traveling. She frowned slightly, having broken her own rule about talking to strangers.

“Hey um...I’m gonna head back. Wanna hang out?”, she asked against her better judgement. She wanted to learn more about this job, but also, she just didn’t wanna be alone. Her pouty blue eyes turned upward from under her hair as she asked, before she reached forward and grabbed his soda, popping it open and taking a drink.

[FuriePhoenix]

Mika didn't know if she was glad or sad that he let go of her and stepped back after smiling warmly at her tongue in cheek joke about herself. Sure, they shouldn't be letting themselves get close and should be probably as far from each other as possible, but here they were putting themselves into the same old predicament that they always do. So maybe him stepping back before one of them started the same old path of least resistance was the best option. At his remark about the monsters under the bed possibly getting rowdy, she had to roll her eyes but it wasn't out of mallace at all. "fine... I'll stay but don't be surprised if I bolt in the morning to avoid 'dear old dad'." she replied, raising her hands and making air quotes with her fingers around the last three words.

She could tell that even now, as he attempted to steer away from her true self, he just couldn't fully do it as he had to correct himself quickly. "right.. Guess you better get the TV on then" she smirked to him, grabbing the other bed he hadn't previously claimed, kicking her boots off by using her feet to pull them off, dumping them on the floor and sitting back but upright on the bed after also removing her jacket and chucking that on the floor also. Even if she should be laying low, she wanted do it as comfortably as possible and it's not like she wasn't well adversed in the quick grab of her stuff and running to hide.

---------

Sam glanced at her when she scoffed about his words sounding all too familiar, he had to wonder if her mother was a hunter as well but he didn't dare ask as such for fear of his dad finding out and scolding him like he did with Dean at times. He found it all the more interesting that his dad's car was all too similar to her mother's, which just made him wo der all the more about her mother's job. At her request of hanging out with her, he glanced at the room he and John were staying in, debating heavily if he should or not before nodding. "uhh.. Sure why not" he replied, hoping his dad wouldn't go apeshit at him for not coming straight back.

[JustAnna]

Dean smiled at her shared disdain, currently, for his dad, “Yeah. I figure he’s already started drinking by now. Between Sam talking his head off and begging to go….he’s definitely already at least one sheet to the wind. No worries for now. And I believe, with that tiny body, you could always hide under the bed.”

He chuckled, picked up the controller to the TV and flicked it on, before throwing himself onto her bed, his hands behind his head.

“Dr. Sexy M.D…a pizza, and you not running off the first chance you get. That sounds peachy. Hell, I might be going off on my own. But what I know is that I’m going to get to the bottom of all of this, and I refuse to let you run off, when we have a lot to talk about…and…I kinda like you, a little bit.”

———

Biting her lip with a bright smile behind it, she handed him his soda back, “So, tell me about Sam…”

She started walking, gesturing for him to follow her. Something about him made her curious, and not in a romantic way. She was genuinely curious about this boy. He seemed to be her age. He didn’t seem phased by the life they seemed to live together, and maybe, just maybe, he knew what her mom did for a living that made her move so much.

“I wanna know everything, Mr. Enigma.”, she giggled, acting completely out of her own nature.

[FuriePhoenix]

Hearing that John had gone down the drinking route wasn't entirely surprising. Most hunters turned to drink to cope between hunts and John Winchester always came across as the typical type to fall into that category. His remark on her figure made her just roll her eyes yet again at him, but it did make her wonder if her figure really ahd changed that much or not, or if she was the same as before the attack. Not that she could ever ask him as he thought she was someone different. He was right though, she could probably fit under the bed with no problem, it did have enough room underneath for her to slip under if it came to it.

For some reason she wasn't expecting him to jump onto her bed to watch tv with her, so when he did she rose an eyebrow before lowering it again and shifted to one side slightly so he actually had room on the bed but not so much that she would fall off the edge as well. She was also trying to remind herself that they needed to not constantly be at each other's hips, even though every part of her wanted to snuggle up to him like she used to before the attack and they were just really close friends. The next words to come out of his mouth did surprise her, making her pause even breathing for a second or two and for her to look at him. "shit shit shit shit, am I seriously playing this all wrong? I wasn't planning on him actually falling for me in any way!" she thought to herself, knowing she needed to reply soon or he was going to ask more questions. "Maybe I sort of like you as well...a little bit" she replied, "what the hell Mika!? That wasn't what you are meant to say!" she thought to herself, but it was true. She was starting to fall for him all over again as it got harder to keep up the lie. "But as for the other things? If you're buying the pizza then I won't rush off so easily" she smirked.

---------------

Sam walked with her to her room as she asked him to tell her about himself. He wondered how much he could truly get away with explaining without giving out too much, even if he did have a good hunch that her mother was a hunter. He chuckled at the nickname he was given by her as he took a sip from his soda. "What do you wanna know? I don't think there's much to tell you about me to be honest." he asked her.

[JustAnna]

Dean glanced over at her with his eyebrows raised. Sure, they had rolled in the hay a few times, but she liked him? Hey. That was something. Picking up the phone on the bedside table, he called out to a pizza place. On instinct, he ordered the same pizzas he and Mika had gorged on, back in the day.

When the pizza showed up, faster than he expected, he jumped up excitedly. He ran to the door and paid the driver, giving him a nice tip, “Dinner is served, m’lady…”

He danced a bit as he turned around and threw the box on the table. He smirked at the tv and pointed, “By the way…I need to get me some of them boots. I mean, just look at him.”

He was trying to play nice. He was trying not to ask the fifty questions he wanted to ask, or make things awkward enough for her to leave. If acting silly and being casual was what he needed to keep her around long enough to break that ice, he would do it. He also didn’t want her to know that he fully planned to pull out a talking board while she was there. Nope. That was a different conversation.

Realizing he had zoned out, he shook himself and smiled again, “Let’s eat.”

———

“Um. I guess first question would be…where are you from? Surely you had a home once.”, Anna started, as she opened the door to her room. She stepped into her room, putter her snacks on he table closest to the window. She peeled her jacket off, revealing her bare arms underneath, along with her bandaged wrists. One wrist was covered by a black bandana. Itching at the plain bandaged one, she threw her jacket over the back of a chair and turned to him.

“I don’t remember ever having a home, other than this…and the car. My dad died, when I was a few months old. It’s always just been me and my mom, and whatever guys she decided to bring home after a job.”

[FuriePhoenix]

Mika had let him do the ordering, she did after all say if he was paying she would stay, so she wasn't going to go back on her words now. She didn't even pay attention to what pizzas he ordered, instead just letting him order anything knowing that if she had to pick something, she'd have to make a real conscious effort to not order what her old self would order. Little did she know in that moment, Dean had that same thought process and ordered their old childhood favourites.

She wasn't expecting the pizza to arrive for quite some time, so when it arrived quicker than expected, he wasn't the only one who jumped. She looked up as he went to the door, grabbed it and then put it on the table. She scooted across the bed to get up and went to the table after sniggering at him acting like a complete and utter fool. She hadn't seen this side of him since...since her birthday the day before the attack. Mentally shaking the memory off her mind, she glanced at the TV then back at him. "are you serious? You better be joking" she replied back at him before seeing him zone out. "yo Dean.. Earth to Dean" she said waving her hand in front of his face as he shook himself back into the real world.

"right" she agreed, opening one of the boxes and saw what pizzas he'd ordered, making her pause for a moment before pulling a slice out and biting into it as she perched on the edge of the nearest bed. Every fibre in her being wanted to remark how it was her favourite kind, but she knew she couldn't. It'd just be yet another little clue of her true identity and she was still too weary about letting him in. "not bad pizza" she said instead.

------------

Sam walked in behind her and closed the door behind himself, seeing her remove her jacket and noticing the bandage on one wrist and a bandana on the other, making him wonder what had happened but decided it wasn't his place to ask just yet. At the question he shrugged, "Dean my brother says we used to live in Kansas, but when I was a baby we had to move and like you I've only ever known life on the road. We lost my mom one night and ever since dad has been determined to find the person who did it." he explained. "sounds like we got something in common" he added.

"all I know is that she apparently died in a fire. So I never really knew my mom, only from stories that Dean will tell me" he said once more.

[JustAnna]

“What, you don’t think I would look sexy in a pair of cowboy boots?”, he asked jokingly, watching her eat her pizza. This was nice. Even though he knew it wouldn’t last, or that John could screw it all up at any moment, he still enjoyed the peace while it lasted.

“So, you heard from Bobby in a while? Last time we were all together, you guys seemed to be getting alone. And honestly, as lonely as he’s been, I figured he might enjoy the company.”, he mentioned, taking a massive bite of pizza. He watched her face, awaiting her reaction as he chewed.

———

Anna narrowed her eyes as he spoke about Kansas, and being on the road since he was a baby. His story paralleled hers once again. She pointed a finger at him as she leaned against the table, “Let me guess, you’re 16. Your birthday is in May..”

She ran her fingers through her silver hair and her eyes lit up excitedly, “This is insane. So, what does your dad do. Like, what is he doing to try and find the killer? Does he have any leads?”

[FuriePhoenix]

"There are probably many things that I could picture you in, cowboy boots are not one of them" Mika replied back to Dean in between mouthfuls of pizza as she tried to not go down memory lane in her head. Sure, the time together where there wasn't drama going on, the peace that was between them was nice and very much welcomed by her, but she couldn't help but wonder when that would begin to falter. Then came the first awkward question of the night which made her pause her eating, gulp down her mouthful and pause to think about her answer. She eventually nodded and glanced down before back up at him, "Yeah, heard from him a couple of days ago" she replied and it wasn't entirely a lie either. It had been a couple of days and no doubt she would be in great shit with him for it, as she always promised to check in daily. She knew how protective Bobby was of her and rightly so, he was her uncle after all. Dean just didn't need to know that.

"Should probably check in with him at some soon, see how he is" she added, but her eyes glanced downward and to the left slightly, which she tried to cover up by grabbing another slice of pizza. She thought it was a good 50/50 chance if Dean would pick up on her body language but it was a risk she had to take. "What about you? You heard or spoken to him lately?" she asked him back.

----------

Sam wondered why Anna was narrowing her eyes at him but when she spoke out her assumption, he went wide eyed slightly and nodded. "Yeah..." he replied, not knowing what else to say but it seemed Anna had that under control as she contiued to speak excitedly. "I..I'm not sure I can tell you what he does. He had leads, I think, he kinda doesn't tell me much to be honest" he shrugged, using his can of soda as a get out for talking much more.

[JustAnna]

Dean frowned when she shot him down over the cowboy boots. “What’s wrong with cowboy boots?”, he muttered, scarfing down another large bite of pizza. As he waited for her response to the Bobby question, he studied her body language intently. It was something he was surprisingly good at, having been his dads heavy man for so long. Body language was the quickest tool to breaking someone for information.

When she mentioned she had seen him a couple of days ago, his interest picked up, causing his eyebrows to raise. Bobby rarely mentioned seeing her, but he knew they were both lying. Bobby the most, as he was a horrible liar to those he respected.

“I um…”, he started, while nodding his head at her declaration of needing to check on Bobby. He noticed then, the tells. He brushed it off, making sure she didn’t have a clue that he was onto anything, “Um. Not really. We circled through there a few weeks ago, before the um…the thing with you and me…and um…Sammy stayed with him for a few days.”

He almost pinched himself for stuttering. His brain was elsewhere, far away from the words he was speaking.

———-

Anna continued pacing as she let the information wash over her. He was the first of these kids that always came through, that actually had a similar story to hers. She knew there had to be others.

“My mom has like…a secret stash. I think she forgets that I’m sixteen. There’s a bunch of like…demonic satan stuff in boxes.”, she smiled mischievously, “Oh my god…I’m probably freaking you out. Strange girl, at some rat trap motel, picks you up at the machines and takes you home with her…then starts rambling about Satan.”

She grimaced as she realized she was doing it again…the over excited thing, “I promise I’m not a hooker or a serial killer, Sam.”

[FuriePhoenix]

Mika wasn't going to entertain the next question of the cowboy boots with another answer. Instead she just smirked and shook her head. The conversation was already well and truly on to Bobby and she wondered where Dean was going with it all. He hadn't really asked her about Bobby for a long time. Not since he saved her ass from drowning that one siren hunt and she over the edge of a pier with said siren and struggled to get back to the surface. It was no doubt one of the few hunts that she was incredibly grateful for Dean following her and saving her, as she truly thought she was done for. After that, she had no problems with heading back to Bobby's for a few days to recooperate and be scolded by her uncle for being reckless.

She looked up again at him as her own question to him seemed to throw him off guard, glad that she wasn't the only one being thrown off balance metaphorically speaking for a moment or two. She listened to his reply and somehow knew exactly what time he was referring to, even if they had a lot of 'things between them', the memory making her smirk briefly. She found it interesting that Sam stayed with Bobby for a few days, "Sam still not being let on hunts I take it?" she asked, somewhat glad if that was the case. She noticed the stuttering and stammering for words from Dean and couldn't help but wonder what was making him to do so on such a such a simple question.

--------------

Sam watched Anna as she began to pace, seeing that everything that was being shared between the two of them was being processed in her mind. He also got the clear sign that he must have been the first she'd met who had a similar background to her, which got him thinking, would it really be all that bad to tell her the truth?

He listened to what she next said and rose an eyebrow when she said her mom had a lot satanic stuff, which he doubted was actually satanic but he could see why people would come to that conclusion on a lot of things hunters had to carry round. It wasn't all white magic and rainbows after all. He had to chuckle and smile when she went on her ramblings about not being a hooker or serial killer. "don't worry about it. That's not the craziest thing I've heard.. Believe me" he replied to her. "actually sounds a lot like my dad" he added. "I think your mom might be a hunter..." he finally said.

[JustAnna]

Dean took a deep breath, thinking that Kenzi hadn’t caught onto his stuttering. He was mostly just elsewhere because he could feel that she wasn’t being completely front and honest with him. But also, he had hunches. Hunches that he wouldn’t act on. He didn’t want to ruin this, not yet.

“Yeah. Dad’s still sidelining him a bit. He understands hunting fine, and lord knows the kid is getting bigger by the day. But he’s a little…lost. It’s like he doesn’t even want to be with us.”, Dean answered her question about Sam not being able to hunt as much as himself. He took another large bite of pizza and stared off for a second, “Sometimes I wonder if I want the kid with us…Maybe he’d be safer, and easier for me to watch out for if he was living some normal teen life. But then again, we’re his family.”

—————

Anna stopped pacing, raising her eyebrows at Sams words. His dad was a hunter. Which meant her mom was a hunter. It dawned on her that her mothers friends had spoken about the term, before, but never long enough for her to make out what they meant.

She sat down in a chair and pointed to the closet, “She has this shrine of pictures…clippings and stuff. There are pages ripped out of old books about vampires, with names and addresses written on them. Are vampires real?”

When she asked, her eyes got wider, “Do you think my dad was killed by a vampire?”

[FuriePhoenix]

Mika didn't think that Dean was getting ideas about what she was saying, but she wouldn't have put it passed him to pick holes in anything she was saying. He was smarter than most people gave him credit for, that much was true even if others wanted to deny it and just focus on Sam being 'the smart one'. Yet the fact she had even fooled Sam so far as well meant she had to be doing somehwat of a decent job of hiding who she is. It was rather saddening to hear how their dad was treating Sam, but also that Sam seemed to be getting more and more distant about the hunting life compared the others. She certainly never imagined she'd see the day where she'd hear Dean say he wasn't even sure if he wanted his little brother around. "maybe you should let Sam figure that out for himself? It wouldn't be that awful if he did go off to do his own path, he's a smart kid and he hasn'treally known anything normal right?" she replied, acting like she only knew this from what had been told through the grapevine.

"Even if he does decide to stay in one place at some point, he's always going to know you and John are his family and will know who to turn to if he gets into trouble" she said shrugging, taking another bite out of her own pizza. "But are family dramas really what you wanna talk about?" she asked him.

-----------

Seeing Anna's eyes go wide at what he said, Sam suddenly questioned if he did the right thing. Yet at the same time he knew that the days he was kept out of the loop, and lied to about why they were always living on the road, it really hurt him and made him frustrated. He listened to what she was saying about the shrine of clippings and addresses about places of so called vampire hang outs and he sighed, nodding recognising it all too well. "Dad does that as well. Uses the information I get for it too, annoyingly. Definitely seems your mom is a hunter and no, " he replied shaking his head, "I don't think what killed your dad was a vampire. WHen you said about a fire killing your dad, it was a fire that killed my mom" he said, he wasn't one hundred percent sure what did it, but he didn't think it was a vampire, it didn't fit their M-O.

[JustAnna]

Dean stared off into space as she spoke, knowing she was right and that Sam would eventually have to make a choice, but it was ultimately his choice. The thought of his brother leaving tore him apart inside, but at the same time, the fatherly side of him wanted him as far away from the madness as he could get. He would be safe there. He could be normal there. He nodded slowly, reaching down to the cooler beside the table and pulling out a beer. He twisted the cap off and took a long drink as she asked if he was only going to talk about family.

He shook his head, “No. It’s not what I wanted to talk about at all. I just feel like maybe you’re the only person I got right now that doesn’t pop their top when you mention stuff like this. I can’t talk to dad about it. He gets pissy and I’m afraid he’s going to lay hands on Sammy…”

He set the beer down and looked back up at her, “So, Mika might be a ghost. I haven’t ever really known of ghosts to just leave love letters, ya know? And I mean…by now, wouldn’t she be all screaming banshee, ready to rip my junk off? She didn’t exactly die normal.”

——————

Anna sighed, hoping that Sam would have given her the answer she wanted. Closure, if nothing else, about her dad. She nodded her head, her shoulders falling a bit.

“Well, I’m honestly kind of glad. I don’t know how much longer she can go on like this, though. She seems to come back a little more gone, and a little more drunk every time she leaves.”, she explained.

She fidgeted with the bandage on her wrist for a few seconds before looking up at him, “But enough about the folks. What about you? You don’t seem much like the other kids here. And like you said earlier, you want to get away and go to college. What makes you so different?”

[FuriePhoenix]

Mika knew how much Dean cared for Sam. She knew just as well as anyone else how much he considered it to be his job to almost bring up Sam, rather than John as their father was not a great father role model at all. It was a shame because before her family attack and the loss of Mary, he was a great dad, but the events of their lives just changed John so much, he was barely recognisable as that same doting father. She wished she could have the power to turn back time and set them all on a different path, make things right so none of them had to live the life of a hunter so Sam could know his mother, her and Dean didn't have to play this game, Bobby didn't have to begrudgingly lie to the boys and John about who she was and she didn't have to lose her parents. Yet that's not how life worked, life wasn't some fairytale, they couldn't just click their fingers or their heels and have everything magically be fixed. And even if there was some kind of spell out there to fix everything it would come with such a cost that would void out the benefits.

Hearing Dean say how it seemed she was the only one he could talk about all of this to without being judged made her nod in understanding. She got where he was coming from completely, even if she couldn't tell him half of what she wanted to because she was just too damn scared to and had lived the lie for what felt like too long. At the mention of Dean being worried John would hit Sam made her raise both her eyebrows briefly, "shit, I hope not" swaa all she could find what to say as his next words completely threw her off her path of thinking.

"shit mika, why didn't you think about that fact?! You're such a bloody fool! Come on girl, you need to think of a good counter and start!" she thought to herself, "who knows Dean...i mean, my cousin may have been a distant one but I know her well enough to know she could be stubborn enough if she wanted to be. Or maybe she is going crazy but not reached 'must rip your junk off crazy' yet. All I know is that she loved you dearly. You two may have been pretty young at the time but she loved you so much. Maybe she thinks she can defy everything to look out for you or something" she replied. She also found it interesting that he said 'she didn't die normal' when he still wanted to believe she was very much alive not long ago. "or maybe we're barking right up the wrong tree and it's a demon or something impersonating her" she shrugged, looking st him for the most part, but soon looked down at her lap.

-------------

Sam nodded and sighed whilst noticing how she fidgeted with the bandage on her wrist, wondering what she did to warrant such a thing. He also understood greatly what she meant by parents coming back a little more lost and less like themselves after a hunt. John was the same and sometimes he'd just pretend to be asleep to avoid even getting into a conversation or argument with his dad. At the question about himself he just shrugged, "I dunno to be honest. I guess my brother Dean just keeps me as grounded as possible. If dad comes back in a mood for whatever reason, I just avoid him as much as I can. But the tension is getting bad, and I'm terrified he's gonna lash out at one of us one day. But I just wanna know what normal life is like ya know? I didn't know my mom but I can't imagine she'd want this for me." he replied.

"do you mind me asking about the bandage?" he finally asked cautiously.

[JustAnna]

Dean shook his head, knowing that ghosts didn’t just get to stay. They grew frustrated somehow. John hadn’t figured out exactly how but they always seemed to. His eyes teared up a bit as she spoke, drudging up a lot of pain that he had thought he was over. Hell, who was he kidding. He hadn’t even begun to try and move on. He just drown himself in a bottle.

“Yeah well…”, he started before she mentioned demon. He then balled up his fist on the top of the table, grunting quietly, “…I’m hoping most demons in the world know that’s a mistake. I’ll find a way to kill them.”

He ran a single hand down his face to wipe away his tears and sighed, “And we all know Wendigos don’t spread their diseases. So, there’s gotta be something else. I’m tired, Kenzi. I’m tired of the what ifs and the over theres. I’m tired of worrying that she’s alive out there somewhere, and is so messed up that not even I could bring her back to reality…I’m just tired.”

——

Anna nodded, agreeing with him about leaving. Her mother was just as unhinged when she came back from a rough hunt, and would pop off the handle at any mention of her going to school, outside of old books she found at the library. But her mother also went off the rails about her asking to come with her on “jobs”.

“I honestly wish you could just run away…”, she whispered, barely even noticing that she had spoke, before pulling herself out of her daydream at his question about the bandages.

“Sometimes running away comes…in different forms.”, she stuttered, pulling her now blood soaked, bandaged wrist behind her back, “Me and mom got into a fight. I tried to leave and her friends brought me back to her. So, I figured I would take the path of least resistance out, but alas…God, or Satan, or Whoever had other plans. They stitched me back up, and here I am.”

[FuriePhoenix]

Mika didn't particularly like what she said to him, but it was the first things that came to her mind when she needed a get out clause of sorts. Seeing him clearly so beaten up about her supposed death was making the walls around her heart fracture and crack, wanting to shatter apart so she could just finally say 'you don't have to, i'm here' but she also just couldn't let those walls break down... not yet. Yet she never once underestimated him when he said he would kill any demon that tried the move she threw out as an idea. Despite that and everything else he said, it was him admitting he was tired of everything that made her almost forget to breath for a couple of seconds before sighing, "Mika wouldn't want you to give up on her. Something tells me in my heart she's still out there and she needs you to find her" she told him. In her own vague way, she was telling him to figure out everything on his own and if he could just figure it out, it'd be so much easier for her to confess. She didn't want him to give up on her, despite her stupid games.

"I know you're tired Dean, but if she is out there, do you really wanna be the one that doesn't find her? If anyone can bring her back to reality, I believe it would be you. She always believed you can save her Dean." she added, getting stupidly close to giving something away that 'Kenzi' shouldn't know, even if she was remotely related to Mika. "When she was down or getting bullied at school, you were the one to be there for her, dont stop now." she said before she could stop herself, mentally cursing herself for saying too much. She didn't want to remember those school days of being bullied to high heaven but as she was talking it brought it all back, the bullying, the insistance from Dean that all would be okay as long as he was there. HOw he would always cheer her up no matter the method to help her forget. The days they thought her parents didn't know he was hiding in her room over night, but her mother knew anyway, agreeing to hide it from her father. The nights they spent pratting around with her old polaroid camera in her room, the date nights...all of it came flooding back.

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Sam saw her lips move as she whispered something, but he didn't quite hear what she whispered so he didn't ask, instead je just listened to her answer the questions he asked her. He was half expecting her to shut down and not open up as he was all too used to that situation happening with both Dean and his dad. Dean would always shut him down when he tried to make Dean speak to him about Mika, and his dad would just shut him out whenever he tried to talk about anything other than what he found in the old books or library findings. So coming across someone who would openly talk to him was a relief and a surprise, even if it was because of incredibly sad. When she was done talking, he walked over to her and hugged her tightly. "I am so sorry Anna" he told her, unsure if she had heard those words genuinely before or not but he had to say it. "But that is never the answer" he told her, "but i can understand why, I am sorry you have to turn to such things but I like to hope they will get better for kids like us. Just like i hope it gets better for our parents and my brother." he continued.