Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by vietmyke
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vietmyke

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@CrystalCHTriple The Welds are the least likely to have an organized school of magic. Of the four kingdoms, the Welds are commonly seen as the least technologically advanced (Hence them commonly being referred to as the Kingdom of the Wilds. There culture revolves more around hunting and nature, than statescraft. Most magic from the Welds would be highly inspired/influenced by druidic cultures and practices.

More 'traditional' magic, as it were, would be more common through Varya and Edessa, and even parts of Ardel
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Life in Stasis
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Life in Stasis pretentious jerk

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I'm incredibly impressed by the amount of care you've put into presenting this RP. It looks like you have four applicants already. Is there still room for one more, if I submit my character? Is CorinTraven playing the child of the monarch you requested?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by vietmyke
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vietmyke

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@Life in Stasis You're free to make an application, the only character I've looked over in detail thus far is Corin's
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by CrystalCHTriple
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CrystalCHTriple

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I will forgo this role-play, although I will read what those involved contribute, see how the world fleshes out.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by vietmyke
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Alright! Time for some character reviews! Before I start these reviews, I would like to point out that sometimes, people may find my reviews a bit harsh, because I typically avoid beating around the bush when it comes to pointing out discrepancies or things that could use a bit of spit-shining. Know that none of the constructive critiques I make are personal, and that they are all made with the intent of polishing your character. My critiques are not necessarily final, and compromises can be made with proper reasoning and discussion- though there are some things I will not budge on.

In the words of a friend from the oldguild: "Myke criticizes because he cares."

Moving on! I will be putting everyone's critiques in hiders, starting with:
@DoctorFB

@CorinTraven

@Dark Light
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Dark Light
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He's not a teen refugee, but he's not exactly a grungy mercenary is he? How would he find himself in this caravan- a group of carts filled with children and teens, protected by some worn out mercenaries and city guards no longer fit for hard combat?
Self interest, suits him better then travelling alone.
He would have lied, bribed or threatened anyone he had to.
I didn't want to make him any younger because of his level of skill in magic. But if your happy with it I can.


Personality section is a bit sparse, but serviceable. If Vallen was bought from his father by a performing troupe, how did he also take his father's "greatest masterpiece" with him? Its also almost too convenient that his father's greatest work was a set of throwing knives- which Vallen happened to learned how to use while in the troupe. A Royal smith crafting weapons for nobles and knights? Giving them daggers as opposed to fine swords?- I feel like it would make more sense for his masterpiece to be a single piece.
It also makes sense that they would be the last item to sell, as you said they all want swords and such. It wasn't his 'greatest' master piece just 'another' master piece and it was bought by the troupe before kidnapping Vallen. When he found out it was his fathers he wanted them.
If you feel it fits the story better he could have trained with them knowing they were his fathers.


Just a side note on ages, if we are comparing to medievil times, 18 wasn't exactly a helpless teenager either.
Adult hood, work and marriage, all came about between 12 and 16. Pretty much everyone here is an able bodied fighter. (Princess exluded.)
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by boomlover
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boomlover The godfather of explosions

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Colour me interested. I might make a cs soon.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by DoctorFB
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DoctorFB

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@vietmyke Yeah a bit plain, I have a bad habit of starting maybe *too* vanilla with my CSs and letting them flesh out more as the story progresses. As for the rabbit thing, that was me combing ideas in my head haha. I need to fix that.

Just let me know if that doesn't work for what you've got in mind for all this.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by vietmyke
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I'll likely be choosing the cast after I finish writing my term paper Thursday, anyone still interested should get a character sheet up before then.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by vietmyke
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@Dark Light The thing about the age, is the guards wouldn't let him join the caravan unless he was a child or an obvious mercenary- otherwise he's in their opinion, a freeloader taking their supplies and protection. If he can pass himself off as a merc, the age is okay, if not than he needs to be younger.

and regarding the weapons, masterwork pieces aren't really something one just makes on a whim to be sold for later- the expensive nature of the materials imply that these weapons should be made by commission/order. Unless his father made this daggers specifically for him, I think I'd like a better reason for you to have mithril AND orihalcum weapons.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Dark Light
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Dark Light

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@vietmyke
So I think your splitting hairs with age and stand by the '18 isn't a teenager' but will change my age to 17. No problem.
Secondly in a world of magic wielding youngsters you don't allow coincidences?
I'll add in a new paragraph were Vallen goes home after escaping to find his family missing.
Beneath the house is a box containing his fathers fond memories, love letters, titles and 6 daggers.
There was supposed to be one for each of his children, the last two are of terrible quality and for whatever reason the seventh wasn't even made.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by boomlover
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boomlover The godfather of explosions

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Ah crap im to late. Well it's a shame but this would have been too much for me anyway. See ya dudes later.

Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by vietmyke
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vietmyke

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@Dark Light if you notice the CS sheet, it states the preferred age range is 16-19, so 18 would've been fine. I'd rather most characters be on or around the same 'level', and of similar age that they can interact with one another. When people are older, a 5ish year age gap isn't that bad, but when its 16 and 21? I'd prefer characters be within the same range. Call it nitpicky, but its my preferences.

Coincidences? I'm fine with. Almost painfully convenient coincidences? Not so fine with. From a meta standpoint, I'm barely okay with your character having these powerful adamantium, orihalcum, and mithril weapons at the start of the RP. If the princess character gave herself an adamantium, orihalcum edged, mithril trimmed sword I would've straight up said no. The only reason why I'm remotely okay with your character wielding orihalcum, adamantium & mithril weapons- all of which are already plenty powerful on their own, is because your character's father was a royal smith- which was fairly original, and that throwing daggers aren't that powerful of a weapon in general, and are fairly situational.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Myyt
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Reserved for potential CS. Apologies for last minuteness.

Tell me if I need to make any changes or if it's too late to apply anyways. Thanks for your time in reading this.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by vietmyke
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vietmyke

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Thanks to everyone for their submissions! Our cast for this RP will be:

@CorinTraven as Princess Vera Drewery, youngest heir of the king.

@Dark Light as Vallen Coridarr, performer and showman - once the previously discussed changes are made,

@DoctorFB as Nathaniel Brianson, son of a scribe.

@Claw2k11 as Magnus Aristonias, the pervy msage.

@Mcmolly as Macy Eleharon the dashing swordsman.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Vilhelm
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Vilhelm Batshit Insane

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*Divebombs in* WAIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!

I do understand I'm a pinch (Or a while) late. But, allow me to cast the idea for an extra character here... For what caravan would be complete without an elderly mage and scholar to ensure the future generation is well taught in the realm of their heritage, and to offer his wisdom when the inexperience of youth might get them all in trouble!

-Every- party needs its Gandalf! It's Dumbledore! It's Merlin! It's ABRELLARD!

But yes. CS. :3 Even if I'm too late, it was fun to make.

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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Dark Light
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Dark Light

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@vietmyke
Much appreciated! discussed changes have been made.
Hope your happy with it.

I tried to put as much sentimentality onto the daggers as possible.
He won't throw it unless he is sure he is gonna get it back...

I can see him chasing down an enemy in the future to retrieve it from his hide or armour.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by vietmyke
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vietmyke

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I've been working on a show all weekendweekend, I'll have an ooc up for us tonight.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Vilhelm
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Vilhelm Batshit Insane

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Take that as a "too late" for me? XD
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Zhaliora
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Zhaliora Fallen Angel

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*waves interest flag.*
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