"Honestly, Rika," spoke Ascot, "I was an ignorant little kid. I didn't know how you lived, how you were keeping yourselves alive, and I assumed the worst. And for that, I'm sorry. It might be too little, too late, but I'm sorry. As for that 'making you work for me remark', yeah, that was out of line." So, that's Rika's hidden inner barb, thought the boy, good to know.
"To be frank, research on Nobodies hasn't gotten beyond 'they start out without hearts, but regrow them'. I didn't know how capable you really were outside of battle, because the data on you guys is really, really old and really, really dated. More to the point, said data had been tainted by the fact that most of it was collected during a fricking war. I didn't know how you guys would act in peacetime, and for that, I am again, sorry."
"As for borrowing power from a 'god', I could argue that it's not a bad thing to gain power from something, or someone, that you revere, that you really believe in. But I won't, I'm not defending my actions at that battle anymore. If I wasn't in the right, then it doesn't count as 'won'." That admission cost a lot from Ascot, who had been led to believe that he had won a battle against a named character who wasn't holding back for the first time.
"And, I wasn't in the right." Again, this cost a lot from the young Paladin, such that he was now seriously discouraged. It was his fault, his punishment, and a reminder of how much he had yet to go. But, it was also his despair, despair that he was able to blunder so completely. His eyes briefly showed this emotion, before hardening, hiding how much he had been shattered inside.
He thought he had learned so much since his fight with Joshua! He thought he had improved, both in his skills and as a person! But, now, after this sort of failure, what hope was there for him, how can he contribute in any meaningful way into the quest? He had cast aside his desire for importance, true, but this isn't about desiring importance anymore, but desiring usefulness.
"You're right, I'm weak..." spoke Ascot finally. "I thought I can stand on my own two feet now, I thought I'd gotten stronger. But, you're right, I'm a patethic person. True strength still eludes me, it seems."