Why do bad things keep happening to mediocre people?Faen. He doesn't have a second name.
OTHER NAMES:Ser Faen of Amor, Lord of the Whisperwood, First of Pirates, The Saint of Swords, Woundweaver, Scion of the Old Gods, Wyrm-Bane, Blademaster. Really, he's got a lot of titles, most of which are entirely made up.
AGE:29
GENDER:Male
RACE:Full Human
BIRTHPLACE:He's not entirely sure where he was born. It doesn't much matter to him either, though he has noticed that just about every story he hears features his birthplace in a different location, usually wherever said story is being told.
RELIGION:Faen isn't usually a religious man, though in times of trouble he'll send up a prayer to any God that might be listening and willing to intervene on his behalf. He believes in covering all the bases.
HEIGHT:6'1”
WEIGHT:180 pounds
PersonalityFaen is a true hero born. Selfless, courageous, pure in spirit and noble in deed. . .
Ha-ha, only joking, he's actually a bit of a shit. Not a massive shit though, not so much of a shit that anyone would ever think of him as an out and out villain, just enough of a shit that if everyone found out just how much of a shit he was it would pretty quickly put paid to all those stories of him being a hero.
Instead of being selfless, courageous, pure and noble, Faen constantly struggles with his baser instincts. When confronted by a powerful enemy his first instinct is to run in the opposite direction, when he sees an unattended coin purse he feels the temptation to slide it into his pocket. However, he also has the willpower to deny himself these instincts, though on many an occasion they get the better of him. In short he is a fallible human being, hardly the upstanding paragon the stories describe.
While he would like to share more traits with his heroic counterpart he's self-aware enough to know that he really doesn't have it in him. Conversely though, he feels a responsibility to at least try and emulate the man that people expect him to be.
He likes to describe himself as a victim of his own success, in that while he originally tried to play a hero to live a life of luxury, now he has to live an incredibly difficult life due to people expecting him to be a hero. This knowledge occasionally depresses him, though he's found that copious amounts of alcohol to be a terrific salve for any feelings of melancholy. He is quick to assure others that he doesn't have a problem though, just enjoys a drink.
Over the years he's developed a dry, dark, sardonic wit, far sharper than the blade he wears sheathed at his waist. In fact, Faen uses humour as a buffer and shield against many of the horrible things he has seen, done, and had done to him.
He would describe himself as a realist, or a pragmatist. Many of the ridiculous situations he finds himself in are down to people placing to much stock in fantasy's and fairy tales, so he can be quite scathing towards those who live with their heads in the clouds.
SKILLS, STRENGTHS & TALENTS:What can Faen do well? The honest truth is just about anything he puts his mind too, which surely sounds right impressive until one remembers just how uniquely lazy he is. If Faen can get away with doing nothing, then you can bet your last copper piece that he's going to do nothing. But excuse me, you asked about the man's strengths.
For a start he's handsome. It might not sound like much, but it's proven itself to be a major boon to the him. See if a man looks like a hero, then people are more likely to believe that his is, in fact, a hero. Just looking the part has gotten him out of more than one scrape.
He's also a capable liar. Not the best in the world, but a certainly a far cry from the worst. In fact, Faen's got a tongue so silver it's a wonder he hasn't pawned it for beer tokens yet. Part of this is due to all the practice he gets; the other part is how honest he is with himself. After all, you can't deceive somebody else if you're putting all your energy into deceiving yourself, and he never wastes time doing that.
While he isn't the swordsman-God that the storytellers would have you believe, he is quite competent with a blade. Quick, sure and strong, with quite a lot – more than he’d like – of experience to boot. However, he doesn't possess the killer instinct that marks the champion swordsmen from those who are merely talented. That’s not to say he hasn’t killed in the past – when the chips are down, and his life is on the line he’s more than willing to take a life to save his own – he just doesn’t like to.
He spent his formative years in a travelling troupe, and spent his time picking up all the skills on display. He can act, dance, play the lute, tumble, play confidence tricks, perform sleight of hand (a skill he has utilized in feigning a talent for real magic), juggle and throw knifes. In fact, about the only trouper skill he didn't take up was singing, mostly because of his atrocious singing voice.
Shortly before starting on the path of a hero proper he was a sneak thief in the city of Amor. With his deft hands, light steps, and quick wits it was almost like he was custom crafted by the Gods to be the perfect thief. Edge Flyntoch called him the greatest footpad under his employ, and even had Faen pegged as a promising up-and-coming criminal talent.
WEAKNESSES & DRAWBACKS:Faen is a victim of his reputation. Everyone, - from the mightiest king to the lowliest serf – always expects him to be some figure of awe, and he has found that when he doesn't match their expectations he is usually met with scorn, anger and outright hostility. He has found that it's easier just to act in the way people expect him to, which is not only incredibly bothersome, but actually quite a strain, and not to mention dangerous. The Faen of legend may be able to, on his own, vanquish a party of Nosferyte bandits without breaking a sweat, but to the Faen of the real world that might as well be a death sentence.
Secondly Faen is a jack of all trades, master of none. He can fight, but not as well as master-warrior. He can sneak, but not as well as a master-assassin. You get the picture.
And I feel it may be worth mentioning that I suspect he may be a borderline alcoholic. He insists he doesn't have a problem, but I feel he doth protest too much.
He can't sing. I implore you to trust me on this, as I shudder to think about you wishing to test this claim by asking him to perform a melody, and subsequently being subjected to his shrieking caterwauling. It truly is a fate worse than death.
He also has many, many, many enemies. After all, one doesn't become as famed a hero as Faen without facing many a perilous villain in the process. However, the problem with villains is that they are quite adept at holding grudges, and Faen has accrued quite a few. From the villagers of Valeview to the criminals of Amor, the pirates of Rat's Nest to the scavenger lords of Old Tumeken, it is quite easy to find someone who holds something against Faen (if only something as simple as not settling his bar tab before he skipped town).
ATTIREFaen dresses in old, but well-made clothing. His rust shirt and grey trews are crafted of the highest quality cottons, while his boots, chaps and jerkin are all soft and oiled dark leathers. His leather-and-chain cuirass is cunningly crafted, and while quite battleworn is still more than fit for purpose. Vambraces cover his wrists, and fingerless gloves adorn his hands. While all of these items are obviously old, his tattered black cloak in particular is ancient, perhaps as old as he is himself.
WEAPONSA thrice-enchanted basket hilted arming sword and matched dagger. As any tavern drunk will tell you all swords wielded by great heroes must have suitably impressive names, and Faen's are no different. The stories have the sword as 'The Last Resort', and the dagger 'The Last Word'. Faen, however, doesn't hold much stock by naming one's weapons. He merely calls them bloody sharp.
He also wears a baldric of throwing knives which he can throw with unnerving skill. . . Though he has found that throwing knives aren't as effective as they could be when fighting a man wearing full armour.
TOOLSFaen has picked up an assortment of different tools and sundries over the years. To begin with he carries a skinning knife, which helps signify him as a rugged outdoors man to the casual observer (Though he can use it, he really prefers not to. Call him squeamish, but he thinks the act of skinning animals should be left to men with sturdier stomachs.) He also keeps a slim eating knife that sits in a special pouch attached to his swords scabbard. Both of these blades have been utilized as last-ditch weapons in the past, to deadly effect.
He keeps a lock pick set hidden within the buckle of his belt, with several more single picks sewn into the lining of his tunic, and two cunningly crafted into his gauntlets. Really, he ascribes to the notion that one can't have enough lock picks.
A pouch containing needles and lengths of catgut is fixed to the back of his belt, very handy for someone like Faen who often finds himself on the wrong side of angry men wielding swords. To compound on these medical supplies, he usually carries a selection of herbs to make poultices and potions, though his skill in herbology is strictly mediocre. In fact, his favourite wound remedy is to imbibe plenty of strong spirits and pray it gets better on its own, and to that end he keeps a flask filled with the good stuff on him at all times. . .. Though he really does insist that he doesn't have a problem.
Other than that he possess the usual camping accoutrements that a man who travels as much as he must have. Just the usual items, camping roll, blanket, tinderbox, cookpot and tripod etc. He keeps them all in a leather knapsack that he wears upon his back.
PERSONAL ITEMSA small silver, circular pendant on a chain. It features an embossed fox curled around itself. He told me that the reason he hasn't sold it yet is that it's so small and tarnished that it wouldn't even get him the money for a half pint of Dwarf-piss ale, though I suspect that the truth is that it holds some sentimental value for him.
HISTORYSo, you want to hear the story of Faen No-Father, Hero of Tyrannia. Not surprising, many people come to my hearth to hear it. So, where would you like me to begin, in the twisting alleyways of Amor? Upon the waves, scuppering the pirate ships of Rats Nest? Maybe when he found himself locked in combat with Valderez, Butcher-King of the Hidden People, that's a particular favourite of mine.
Wait, what on earth do you mean that “you want to hear the truth,” I just offered you the truth, you insolent child! I offered you the only truth that people in this harsh world care about, I offered you the comforting truth! The truth that people choose for themselves. What? You want the real truth? Bah, you don't know what you want then.
I have grown old in this land, and if there's one truth I have learnt then it is that people do not want the real truth in their stories. Life is real and terrible enough without having to add ill-tasting truths that make our stories feel foul and miserable.
But I can see by your face that you will not be dissuaded from your path, and I have grown cruel in my old age. I will give you the 'truth' about Faen, aye, the whole truth, warts in all, and his lustre will fade from your eyes, and his legends will turn to ash in your memories, and you will realize that the world isn't quite as sweet a place as you hoped. Just don't complain to me when you realize this wasn't what you wanted after all.
Born somewhere, to some people. He doesn't know who, and claims not to care overmuch either way. Was left with a temple to Carminda. The priests there sold him to a travelling troupe when he was three.
He was quickly taught skills that would benefit the troupe, and when he showed a quick and grasping mind he was taught even more. By the time he was sixteen he was considered one of the most talented troupers, and suspected he would spend the rest of his life travelling the known world, performing for audiences.
When he was seventeen the troupe travelled to Valeview, where he first met the 'Lady' Irina Meallach, daughter of the towns mayor. Faen and Irina began an affair, and when the mayor found out he demanded the young mans head. The troupers were ready to defend Faen, even know they were outmanned. Instead Faen sent them on their way, not prepared to see his friends suffer for his misdemeanors. As soon as the troupe was out of sight Faen ran, hoping the mayor would think he was still with the troupe, and that he'd be able to escape in the confusion. He was caught though, and sentence to hang. The night before his sentanc the Lady Irina helped him escape, and he 'accidentally' knocked out four men on his way out (Irina did most of the work) As soon as they were in the clear Irina revealed to Faen that she was sick of village life, and had used the former trouper as a gateway towards a more adventurous life, and that now she had so succiently cut the ties to her former life there was nothing tying her to him any longer. She left him to pursue her own interests.
With nothing left for him and no desire to return to a troupers life he wandered Amorynthia, passing through Silvermoor where he inardarventally put an end to a rogue mages plans to destroy the town in a flood. He still isn't quite sure what he actually done to save the place, only that the mages plans involved magical lay-lines and chalk markings that were supposed to summon destructive energies, and that when Faen accidentally poured wine over the chalk markings it disrupted the mages spells, and he instantly died of dehydration.
He eventually arrived in Amor. He was quickly folded into a life of crime, coming to work for Edge Flyntoch, crime lord of Amor. He found he had a knack for stealing things, though when Edge commanded him to assassinate a rival he refused (Not that Faen has any real moral objections against killing people. He will if he has to, he just prefers not to, not least because if you try to kill someone then they have a nasty habit of trying to kill you back) Unfortunately Edge isn't the kind of man to be denied, and so he sent a seperate group of assassins to kill his rival, and when they were finished them they were to deal with Faen. Catching wind of the plot Faen knew he had to do something. Instead of running or fighting he decided to hide, and figured that the safest place to hide would be within Edge's mansion. After all, it was the last place he would look. To his surprise he found that Lady Irina was acting as Edge's live in mistress. After hearing about Faen's predicament she decided to take pity on him. To do this she tried to smuggle him out, but they were caught by Edge's guards. Edge threw a banquet for all his top liutenants and had the two brought before him to gloat before they were killed. Showing an un-characteristc amount of derring-do, Faen stabbed the crime boss with a soup spoon, and in the resulting fracas killed or injured many more criminals escaped with the Irina. The resulting power vaccum, and the struggle for someone to take Edge's place in Amor hierachy can still be felt to this day.
Together Faen and Irina travelled to Rat's Nest to become pirates, both figuring that was the next logical step. There Irina began to set the basis for the tale of Faen as we know it, describing a man that the pirates could respect. In Valeview he became a man who raided the village for every coin it had. In Silvermoon he killed a powerful wizard for spilling his wine. In Amor he challenged the Lord of Crime for dominion over the city. This new Faen became a hero to the pirates, and all the man himself had to do was play a part. He later asked Irina why she made him the hero of the tale, and not herself, and she revealed it was because she didn't think the pirates would respect a woman as much.
Over the winter the two lived amongst the pirates, and Faen was celebrated as the greatest raider to ever sail the waves (he's never actually been on a boat proper, other than on the trip to Rat's Nest) One night Irina disappeared, leaving a note telling Faen that her wanderlust had began to play up again. A short while later a ship arrived carrying a cargo of slaves. While he tried to ignore the plight of the slaves and continue living a life of debauchery and mild alcoholism, Faen just didn't have it in him. He secretly set out to free the slaves, and made provisions for them to escape on a row boat. Unfortunately one of the captives was a fire-mage, who as soon as he was free began to attack the pirates. In the chaos several ships where destroyed and Faen was forced to flee once more, leading as many of the slaves to saftey as he could.
[lots of other adventures which I will flesh out. He slowly becomes known as, deservedly or not, one of the greatest heroes to ever walk the face of Tyrannia, and quite possibly the most famous man alive.]
It came as no surprise to anyone that when King Valdez put out a call for the bravest of adventurers to travel with his expedition that Faen was explicitly requested. Faen certainly wasn't surprised anyway, as he had long grown used to having to do other men’s dirty work for them. With a heavy heart he sets forth, wondering just how much longer he can continue to get away with playing the hero.
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