arockysmith

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

It had taken most of the week to convince Jeremiah to let Isiah and Ezra tag along with him on his trip. If it wasn’t for his friend then Ezra probably would have missed Marta’s birthday and there was no way he would be able to write her a letter describing how he felt. It would be nothing more than sadness and rage once more. With the news of his mothers passing he needed her more than ever and Isiah had fought long and hard with Jeremiah about the choice to let them visit. The other boys were jealous, but nobody spoke a word about it. Ezra would soon be the one leading them so he would get the special treatment no matter how unfair it was.

“Jeremiah, put your worries to bed. Ezra will be back to himself when he sees Marta. I will keep an eye on him the whole time. Nobody knows our faces that way. We’ve already figured out a place to take the girls so that we may have privacy, but still stay safe,” Isiah told him as he loaded two small bags into the car, one for him and one for Ezra.

Jeremiah shook his head a little, “I worry he will come back softer and he will not be able to do what we need him to,” he said leaning against the car.

“He is a soft person, sir. This rage fueled adolescent is not the Ezra either of us knows. He is losing himself and these men are not helping. The day he read the letter of his mother he cried for a mere second and then he nearly killed three of our men in the elimination fights. He shouldn’t be used as a weapon. We are supposed to be a peaceful rebellion, saving others. Not living up to the belief that we are dangerous people. If he leads us we will be the animals they claim us to be,” Isiah said pleadingly.

Just then Ezra came out to the car. He had on a cleanish shirt. There were no holes, but blood was splattered over it and his face was harsh. His jawline was strong and his eyes filled with a mix of excitement and rage. He hadn’t felt joy in a while, and seeing Marta in the morning was something he’d have been smiling over had it come months ago, but tonight he was still reeling from the fights they’d just had in the back.

Isiah shook his his head sadly. He was positive Marta would not love the man coming before her in the morning.

---------------------------------------------

It was just slightly pass sunrise when the boys pulled up to the cottage. Isiah eagerly left the car to go greet Atalia, while Ezra hung back at the word of Jeremiah. Isiah glanced over his shoulder pausing just at the door. He wanted to hear exactly what the man would say.

“Ezra, seeing her might bring back emotions you haven’t felt in a while. Keep those in check. You are no longer the man you were. You are a whole new person and if you fall back into those habits you will be not be able to protect anybody,” Jeremiah said, which caused Isiah to shake his head.

Ezra nodded his agreement, “Sir, I will not break. My emotions will not show. I will not become a liability. She is the reason I fight so hard. I will not jeopardize anything. My life is to the cause and with the cause we will be able to be together without restrictions.”

Isiah cringed at how robotic Ezra sounded. He watched Ezra grab their bags from the car and toss one his way. When the boy finally reached him at the front step he put a hand on his shoulder. “Ezra, you can fight for the cause without losing who you are,” he whispered.

“Isiah, this is who I am now. I will not break and I will not crumble. I am a man and I will do whatever it takes to protect my people. She is my people,” he replied as Jeremiah unlocked the door for them.

Ezra was the first one in and it was like his soul was tugging him towards the kitchen. He knew she’d be there and without hesitation he walked her way, bag slung over his shoulder. Her back was turned to him and his bag fell to the floor with a soft thud. He could feel his eyes began to water, which made him clench his jaw.

“Marta…” was all he managed to get out and even that was just above a whisper and his voice cracked a bit.

Isiah had made his way to the girls room upstairs and he found Atalia sleeping soundly. Without hesitation he joined her in the bed, wrapping his arms around her body and holding her close. He felt her press into him and could picture the smile on her face. It was the same smile he imagined Marta having until she got a good look at her boyfriend.

VK- BlackRose79/arockysmith

Vada stood at the sound of the door expecting to be Aido. She swung the door opening let the cold air out, "Aido you don't need to-" she cut herself off when she saw Miki standing in front of her looking shaken. She bit her lip and took a step back from the door embarrassed, "I'm sorry Miki...Hanabusa was just here and I thought he wanted to finish our conversation. Clearly I'm mistaken." She let the girl into the room and shut it behind them trying to calm herself so that the room would warm up a bit more.

"Are you okay? Did he yell at you?" Vada asked resting a gentle hand on the girls back to lead her to the bed for a seat.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Marta,

I don’t even know where to start this letter. I haven’t slept in 4 days as part of an endurance training. Isiah has been the only one keeping me company during this time, everyone else is busy doing their other training. I think it was on day three that I finally went out into the towns half asleep, but still I found things to look at in awe. The Jewish neighborhoods here are beautiful and there’s a lake just an hour away. I hope one day to take you there. I have gotten a haircut after needing one for so many weeks, I’m now able to do the physical aspect of training now such as push ups and obstacle courses. I’ve been part of combat training also, but they fear I learned it too soon.

In town I had an incident and now I’m doing restraint training. I need to learn how to endure watching others get spat on so I don’t give myself away. I ran into a man just like Oscar and if it hadn’t been for Harrod I would have killed him. They say I have too much pent up rage so they think talking with Isiah will help since I refuse to speak with anyone else. He’s the only one keeping me going. I enjoy the other boys, but nobody understands the way he does.

I know this letter is not my normal type and I haven’t mentioned my love for you, but just know that when we see each other I will make you remember that night which seems like it happened a century ago and I will show you a kind of love you never knew existed. My body aches for your touch and when I can have you in my arms for good I fear I may never let go.

I love you to the stars and moon
-E
Ezra finished penning his letter and handed it to Jeremiah who in return handed him a letter from his father. “Read it in private my boy. You will not enjoy it’s contents,” he whispered to Ezra before turning on his heels and walking out the front door. It would be two days before Jeremiah would be back and Isiah and Harrod were in charge of the group of teenagers.

He held the letter in his hand a moment longer before tucking it away for later. He did not want to feel sad at this moment. He walked into the den and found Isiah feeding all 19 of the men an empty seat beside him reserved for Ezra. He took his seat and the group began to eat and tease each other. Ezra did not partake though.

His hands were still wrapped in bandages and his shirt had blood splattered on it from the previous day where he had the altercation with the man who reminded him of Oscar. There were no spare clothes in his size so he had to wait for Jeremiah to return before he could change. His shirt also ad tears which showed the new muscles that had begun to form on his body since he began training. Isiah teased him frequently that he was bulking up to please Marta. Ezra would just laugh and run his fingers through the curls that laid tangle on his head. They did not dangle down his face anymore. It was almost cropped short, but a few spirals still laid about. Ezra found himself constantly twirling them around his fingers reminding himself of Marta.
He put his untils down once he was finished and glanced at the calendar. Marta’s birthday was coming up and Isiah had promised to pick her up something nice when he went back into town tomorrow since Ezra was now allowed. He also noted that it took his father a month to write to him about the whereabouts of him and Edith. He took a sip of water and excused himself from the table, but not before Isiah spoke.

“We will be doing combat training in a few minutes. Get Dr. Z to replace those bandages and then meet us outside. It will be elimination rounds. We expect a lot from you after yesterday,” Isiah said with a smile.

Ezra nodded, “You can count on me,” he said returning the grin.

The resistance had talked about an assassination of Hitler, but they didn’t have the ranks yet and none of the men thought they would have the guts for it. After yesterday though they began to put their hopes into Ezra and they all knew if he was asked, then he would do it without hesitation even if it cost him his life. It was a silently spoken between Isiah just know. They expected him to be their enforcer. He was expected to lead the rebellion to war because of the lust he had for blood after the many times he’d been tortured. They would often hear him talk in his sleep about killing Oscar for hurting Marta in the ways that he did and how he wouldn’t be defenseless anymore.

Ezra went back to his room and took out the letter reading it slowly and then again and again. He was positive he read it a dozen times with his tear stained cheeks and the words refused to change. He felt a knot grow in his stomach and an emptiness in his chest as he reads the words once more.

“She did not make it, Ezra. Your mother...she is dead”
“Your mother...she is dead”
“She is dead”
Ezra couldn’t stop rereading that last part. He looked up at the sound of the door to see Isiah popping his in. “Ezra, come on. We’ve been waiting, but we can’t wait…” he paused when he saw Ezra crying, “Ezra...what’s wrong?”

He held out the letter to his friend and let out a scream that seemed to shake the house. Isiah folded the letter up and sat on the bed next to Ezra, “I know this is painful Ezra, but you are needed more than you know. Use her death as momentum to push you forward. We will get through this together,” Isiah whispered but his words fell on deaf ears.

Without Marta’s calming personality to ease his mind, Ezra was a ball of rage now. He stood up from the bed and walked out the door towards the field where the combat training was held. Everyone was cheering for his entrance until they saw the look on his face. He wasn’t playing around tonight. He was fighting for blood.

Abandoned Souls (Full for now)

I haven't posted because I didn't want to post so soon after my last one.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Ezra woke in the middle of the night pain settling itself into his muscles and he turned his head to the side to see Isiah slumped in a chair trying his best to stay awake. It made him think about the days of their childhood when they would have sleep overs and Isiah was always the first to get tired. He would sit on the sofa with his head bobbing up and down until he finally fell off the couch with a thud. The poor kid would shock himself awake. Ezra couldn't help but let out a small laugh, and it was loud enough to grab Isiah's full attention. The boy hurried over to him to make sure he was okay.

Ezra reached out his hand and Isiah took it tightly in his own. He bent his forehead down to meet Ezra's and they both let out a sigh of relief as they closed their eyes. They had grown up like brothers knowing each other better than they knew themselves most days. It had always been Ezra, Atalia, and Isiah together and inseparable. When Isiah pulled back though he couldn't help but see the guilt ridden look on his friends face.

"Ezra, what's the matter? Did I hurt you? Do you need pain medicine?" the boy asked as his green eyes grew wide with fear.

Ezra shook his head slowly and winced at the pain before a tear started to fall. "Atalia...she was taken from my house. They came looking for Marta and she claimed it was her and I didn't allow Marta to admit the truth. I held her mouth shut with all my might and now I fear the worst. I am so sorry Isiah," he said through clenched teeth waiting for his friend to turn on him.

Isiah looked at Ezra and his expression softened. He had know Atalia was taken, and he knew that she was safe now. He was one of the people who had risked their lives to bring her back. Originally he had been furious with Ezra for allowing such a thing to happen, but Atalia had made him realize that it was needed. "She is safe brother. The resistance freed her when you were still in the hospital. She told me all about it. You need not worry. I do not hold a grudge towards you. You and Marta are a symbol for our cause. Atalia knew what she was doing. She joined us after her father was murdered. I joined after that man almost murdered you for the second time," he said with a soft smile.

Ezra cocked his head a but confused, "Resistance?" was all he could say at that moment because a young doctor walked into the room to check his vitals.

"How are you feel Mr. Baer? I assume the pain should be setting back in now, but we're going to see how long you can go without medicine since we've yet to go on a run. We didn't expect to have you in such terrible condition," the doctor said quickly, "Jeremiah mentioned recruiting you but we all assumed you'd be in better health, not half dead on our table."

Ezra blushed a bit knowing it was his fault he was in such a sorry state. He'd been overdoing it and it was only a matter of time before he pushed himself too far. The doctor didn't leave much time for him to speak up because as quick as he entered, he departed the room. Isiah grinned, "That's doctor Z. He doesn't tell us his full name. He's the best doctor around and to have him on our side is a huge win. Many of the people we save are injured worse than you," he said.

"Where is my Marta?" He asked quietly wishing she had been the first face he woke up to.

"She is safe. With Atalia actually. Not be harsh, but the two of them are more lovers than fighters. This is training. We learn defense tactics here. We learn to endure torture and how to lie. You will begin your training soon if you decide to join us, which I hope you do. You are strong in morals and faith. We need a man like you to help lead us," Isiah said as Jeremiah walked in.

Jeremiah handed Ezra a piece of paper and a pen. Right away he began to write to Marta after the older man explained this was how they would be communicating until he was finished healing and finished learning the basics of what they taught and preached. He wrote about Isiah and about the movement he was soon to be a part of and how he would return to her when he had done his time and became a man he could once again be proud of. He wrote saying he'd miss her more than he thought possible and he would never forget the warmth of her touch or the way she had kissed him and made him feel the night before Atalia was taken. He promised her that if she looked at the stars at every night she would be seeing just vast his love spread for her. When he was finished he gave the paper back to Jeremiah who folded it up and tucked it away.

"I will making a trip out to the cottage at sundown tomorrow. You and Harrod are in charge of his care," Jeremiah said ruffling the dark blonde tuffs of hair on Isiah's head.

Isiah was one of the rare jewish boys with hair that wasn't dark brown, and it's one of the reason him and Ezra got along. Ezra found his hair fascinating considering most of the Jewish people he knew had dark hair. After Jeremiah left the young man turned his attention back to his friend and they stared at each other a moment still in shock that Ezra was even awake. After a few hours of discussion Harrod came in to relieve Isiah of his duties and to get some rest. With quick nods of their head Isiah departed to one of the bedrooms and Ezra was left with a stranger.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Ezra was lifted from the bed and taken from the room. He opened his eyes briefly to see Marta staying there, while he was carted away. He tried to turn and reach for her, but his body refused to move. He let out a muffled whimper as Jeremiah covered his mouth with his hand. He tried to shake it off, but the man held on firmly and all Ezra could do was try and thrash. The way she said goodbye made it seem like he'd never get to see her again. When his arms finally worked he attempted to pull Jeremiah's hand off his face, but his body was still too weak. He spoke words that even he couldn't understand and tears began to fall from his face. He didn't want this to be their last goodbye. He didn't want to leave her on that note.

"Settle down boy. This is for your own health and hers. If you love her just close your eyes," Jeremiah whispered harshly as he settled him into the backseat of his car. He hated to separate the young lovers, but it had to be done or he'd never heal properly and she would never forgive herself for Atalia.

When Ezra finally appeared to tire himself out again Jeremiah went to the front seat and began to drive away from the neighborhood. Far away from the reach of Hitler's men and his supporters. The safe house was in the middle of a vast farmland that had been turned into a little boot camp. Here was where Ezra would recover, with the best doctors Jeremiah and his team could find. He pulled into the driveway and was greeted by two boys appearing to be Ezra's age. One was Isiah and the other one was Harrod. Ezra had seen Harrod in passing, but they'd never spoken. When Isiah saw the state of his friend his heart began to tug in his chest and he felt a pit grow in his stomach.

"All this for love," Isiah whispered as him and Harrod carried Ezra inside to one of the medical rooms.

Harrod nodded, "He looks like a ghost. His lips are blue. How is he even alive?"

Isiah smiled thinking about Atalia, "That is the power of love, my friend. If not for Atalia I would not keep pushing myself to continue," he said.

Ezra came to long enough to hear the last sentence Isiah spoke and tears formed in his eyes again. Isiah would never get to hold Atalia or see her smile. He would not be able to run his fingers through her brown hair and it was all because of the love he spoke of. He tried to talk but Isiah hushed him with a smile as the two boys laid him down on the bed. He moaned a little as one of the doctors provided another IV for him. He began to struggle again, trying to plead with Isiah to forgive him, but before he could get a word out he felt himself growing weak and tired. The last thing he felt before going under was the gentle hand of Isiah guiding him to slumber.

"I will stay here with him as first shift. I want him to see a friendly face when he fully awakens," Isiah said to Harrod and Jeremiah who nodded their agreement.

Official RPG Crush Thread

@Chicogal Ooh where can you see the results of the survey?

@Alisma

There's a link on the very first page on the very first post made by Cynder

*POSITIVE* LGBT++ hangout, anybody? *CIS/STRAIGHT WELCOME TOO* :D

@Leslie Hall So proud of you! That's a huge step and it's so nice that you've finally said fuck it to what they think. I hope you still had an awesome trip.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Ezra tilted his head and looked at her a bit confused. Cousin? He shook his head slightly not processing the danger they were in. He reached his hand up and poked her gently on the nose with a grin. "You're silly," he said with a laugh that turned into a cough.

Jeremiah sighed deeply as he watched Ezra. "He has no idea where he is," he said looking at the nurse who nodded.

"He's on a lot of...medicines so he doesn't feel the pain. I'm surprised he's talking as much as he is. I honestly don't think he'll remember any of this," she said looking at Marta with sad eyes.

"Where's ma and pa? I have to open the bakery," Ezra said trying to get up only to have Jeremiah hold him down. He looked over at Marta and squeezed her hand as he began to settle back down. "I love you," he whispered as his head fell to the side and his eyes closed slightly.

He felt more exhausted than he knew was possible and all he wanted was for Marta to lay with him. It frustrated him a little bit how weird everyone was acting. His chest began to slow down as his breathing calmed which helped some of the pain he was starting to feel.

"I would give him a couple more hours and when it's dark we can take him somewhere safe. So that he doesn't get you both killed," Jeremiah said sadly, "I'll go get your bags and take them to the place and then come back for you too. Hopefully he won't say your name anymore."

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Ezra woke up in a daze and feeling like a bus just hit him. He couldn't remember where he was or why he had an IV in his arm. Color was still drained from his face but he couldn't taste blood in his mouth anymore. He looked around and tried to sit up only to have a gentle hand push him back down. He looked up to see a women dressed in nurse attire. Her gray hair was pulled into a tight bun and she was looking at him with disapproving eyes.

"Don't move. You've just had surgery. You risk pulling a stitch, dear. I have them grabbing your cousin Kiva now," the women said.

Ezra looked at her a bit confused. He didn't have a cousin in town, and none of his cousin were named Kiva. He was about to protest when she put a finger to his lips and shook her head.

"Don't protest. Just wait until she comes into the room," the women warned him motioning towards the door where one of the getsapo was placed. He sucked in a sharp breath and pain shot through him. He flinched a bit which caused the nurse to chuckle. "Jeremiah said you were funny."

His ears perked up at the name of Jeremiah, "You know him?" was all he could get out.

"He's your uncle and Kiva is your cousin. They are father and daughter. They should be in here shortly," the women said checking his blood pressure. "You've been out for a couple hours now. We were waiting for you to show signs of life before we called them in. You were bleeding internally. I honestly didn't think they'd be able to save you, but it seems you've got a guardian angel, Mr. Ezra Baer."

Ezra gave a light laugh and closed his eyes a bit. He still felt groggy, but the pain from earlier had began to dim. He knew it was the medication making him feel like this, but didn't bother protesting. After a couple minutes the door opened and Ezra let his head fall lazily to the side. Jeremiah walked in first and then Marta followed.

"Ma..Marta" he whispered in a voice he wasn't sure anyone else heard.

Jeremiah hushed him quickly, "Don't say that name boy or you'll get her killed," he said shutting the door so the three of them could have a little privacy.