The darkness cradled Crow securely with all the maternal tenderness of a loving mother. Tendrils of sweet, sweet nothingness enveloped her like a warm, plush blanket. It was nice, she figured, because this - whatever this was - meant she didn't have to think. Not thinking was not dwelling was
forgetting, and so long as she didn't forgive, wasn't letting a few irrelevant details elude her okay?
(it stung it hurt it fucking hurt godsdamnit why couldn't she just fucking forget why wouldn't it just s t o p )Besides, there was something
awfully liberating about shedding the shackles of the waking world. She didn't have obligations, nor was she obligated to make accommodations, and perhaps her faulty upbringing was to blame, but she
really wasn't seeing the appeal of that whole 'survival instinct' shtick.
This was fine. This was positively fantastic! Everything was fine, this was great, and she, Crow, bullshitter extraordinaire, was perfectly okay with this outcome.
what a fucking liar. what a useless, piece of shit liar. it hurt. it still hurt. it hurt, it hurt, it HURT.Maybe, if she could continue to drift away, descend into this darkness just a smidge further, she'd start to
mean it. Consciousness abruptly slammed into Crow with all the cheerful, persistent indifference of a rabid bear, and the wind, over which she thought she'd held such absolute dominion, rushed out of her lungs in a sharp, whimpered gasp.
The legends always claimed resurrection was easy, that one slipped back into one's body delicately and smoothly, that one wouldn't flinch, stumble back, and crack one's head on a pier as soon as their battered, exhausted eyes met gentle sunlight. Apparently, what felt like an eternity marinating in the void wrought absolute havoc on one's eyesight. Who'd have thought?
The legends, she was rapidly beginning to believe, were flighty, vindictive
whores.A sore arm clumsily darted up in a vain attempt to shield bleary eyes from the sun's harsh, unforgiving glare, and as those eyes muddled their way through a cautious, tentative blink, she became immediately cognizant of two things.
Firstly, the bruises blossoming on her legs were beginning to sprout bruises of their own, and secondly, she was - she was
alive. She was alive, she was
whole, she hadn't met her watery demise at the teeth of some ravenous sea beast, she - she could
breathe.Her hands rose, fingers quivering, cupping her throat almost reverently. A gentle breeze whisked past, caressing her cheek with all the enthusiastic glee of a long-lost lover. The wind tugged at her braid, tousled the loose, errant strands framing her face, and rustled her attire, those soft fabrics and boiled leathers tinted those particular shades of blue and black to which she'd always been partial.
The skies were alive, wind churning at the ocean in a fashion so eager it bordered on celebratory.
"Holy shit," she rasped, the words stumbling on parched lips, voice hoarse and rough from disuse. A cough bubbled up in her throat, smothered only by the wave of manic, incredulous laughter.
(Her fellow pier-walkers, skittish fellows that they were, gave her a wide berth, clutching their ramshackle assortment of fishing accoutrements almost warily.)
They probably thought her mad, embroiled in some sort of grandiose delusions. Under normal circumstances, this sentiment most likely would have rang true.
Also under normal circumstances, she probably wouldn't have cared. But that was okay.
(liar, liar, liar, it's not okay, it's never okay, she hates this. she hates all of this.)That was beyond okay.
(she hates this. she hates her, hates that damned king and that damned spy. but most of all, she hates herself.)She was
alive, damn it!