Current
It's been a long time, RPGuild. I hope you're all well.
Bio
HI THERE~!
Thank you for visiting my profile!
You can call me Destiny. I am a 26-year-old pansexual woman from the USA who has been roleplaying since 2007. I got my start on a Kingdom Hearts fan-forum, and now here I am! My roleplaying interests include slice-of-life, romance, drama, fantasy, and anime fandom. Did I mention I am a HUGE otaku? :D
I write at a high-casual/advanced level as far as the amount of content I write per-post, but I'm not into flowery language most of the time. My writing is very simple, with a lot of the focus being on the characters and how their thoughts and feelings are developing. Realism is the name of my game! This stems from the fact that, when I am not roleplaying or slaving away for a large technology conglomerate at my day job, I am working on plays and films as a professional actress. With this being my passion, it's quite literally my job to pick apart each character's brain to find the motivation behind their words and actions. I'm just saying, that kind of obsession shows in my writing.
For my partners, I mostly do 1x1 RPs unless a group really catches my eye. I expect 2-3 paragraphs per post and prefer those who can respond at least once a day. Original stories catch my eye more than fandoms, but I don't rule anything out until I've tried it- trust me, if something's not working I'll let you know. I do not write smut, but if it is story-driven I will consider 18+. I'm really not picky; these are just guidelines for how to *guarantee* I will love our RP! I've been surprised before!
A fair warning in advance: I'm also a little crazy. I am diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression, so if I am feeling off I may just stop responding. My mental health does come first. Rest assured, I will pick up the pieces and clear my head enough to reply soon. I use my writing as an outlet, so I can never stay away more than a couple of days. That being said, my Guild partners are my family. Y'all have helped me through the worst times of my life and continue to remind me why I'm still alive on this Earth. So just know that I am here to do the same for any of you, even if we've just met. :)
Anywho, if this sounds like your thing then shoot me a PM! I swear I'm friendly, albeit a little strange, and I don't bite (hard)! <3
@Zelosse Haha I figured. I was just wondering because nothing was written about him noticing that he had a PM. Or maybe he didn't even notice haha. Either way, I'm curious to see how the whole group starts working together since the pairs went pretty well as far as fighting goes!
@Zelosse I gotta ask, just 'cause I'm curious... Is Delcastle so swept up in the moment that he didn't notice the message from Bulwar, or was that a writing error? :o
Delcastle's soft touch was comforting, just like this kiss. His arms around her shoulders made her feel more grounded and secure, giving her more of a focus on the things around her. She didn't have them often before this game, but these attacks would make her head dizzy and her body so tense that it would ache; each time, she would fall asleep after. That wasn't an option here, especially since they weren't quite in the safety of the city yet, but everything did feel heavy and disoriented. It was nice to have something - someone - stable beside her. He was being very sweet to her, and she felt a bit guilty that a complete stranger was having to do so much for her. I really am the worst kind of person...
As he spoke, her gaze fell upon her sword, Severance. This weapon had been the best thing about this game, to her, even in the beta test. It was perfect with her personality, and it even had relevance to a time in her life when Cinera wasn't quite so... needy. Maybe not strong enough to face death, but at least she was once able to be there for others in their time of need. Delcastle had been the one to nearly die, after all. He was already willing to give up so much for her, when they had only met the evening before... Were he and Bulwar really willing to go so far as death for a single, insignificant person such as herself? She hadn't ever liked herself, anyway - what was it that Delcastle saw in her? She gazed into the reflection of the blade, staring at her own pathetic eyes as they peered back at her.
"That girl... There's nothing strong about her..." Cinera muttered, holding back another onset of tears. Her shoulders shook with the pressure as she seemed to struggle just to look at her own reflection. "She's ugly, and bitter, and tries to hide from the world... but when the world doesn't want her, she clings to the first person she finds to take care of her." As he pulled her close, Cinera relaxed comfortably against his chest. Something about this felt natural... It made her feel some sort of nostalgia, even, as if they had known each other for years. She was too upset to do so in this moment, but if she could have blushed she would have.
"Why?" She finally asked, pulling away a bit to gaze into his eyes. "Why would you and your brother go so far for people you haven't even met? How could you know if I really am this beautiful, strong girl you seem to think I am? What if... W-What if I'm not the person you hope I am...?" Her gaze trickled down to the ground, where her hands pressed into the soft dirt of their virtual prison. "Would you still die for someone like that?" As she asked these things, a sort of lightbulb seemed to click in her head; her reality shifted into a strange kind of self-realization. Surprised at herself, she quickly turned her gaze up to look in Delcastle's eyes. She saw him as this kind, helpful person who wanted to do good for others, right? But what made her see this stranger in that way? It was the same thing she had just asked him. For all she knew, he could be a completely different person. If he was, would she still want to fight with him? For him? Would she still... die... for him?
She knew the answer to that question immediately and relaxed next to him, pulling her knees up to her chest. Yes... I would. Cinera didn't know why that was her answer, but it was. Delcastle was the brave kind of person that she believed should never die, if it could be avoided. Her own self-esteem wasn't high enough to place her own life over someone whom she thought might even have the slightest possibility of bringing some good into this world. She had no way to really know, but maybe Delcastle saw her in the same light; even if she was this weak, pathetic girl, she was alive and hadn't given him any indication that she hated people - that gave her some potential. Even if it was only a little... Even if Delcastle never ended up saving anyone, there was hope. That was what she liked so much in this stranger. That was something she might be able to fight for, however small.
I might not be able to do much with my own life... but these people might be able to. We won't know if they don't have a chance - if this game kills them before they can impact the real world. I... I can't die, yet... Her eyes glanced up to see the handle of Severance in front of her face, from where Delcastle was now standing in front of her. He had given her a choice: to be protected and coddled as she always was, or to finally stand up and stop relying on others. To put her meaningless life full of games and comfort to good use. Hesitantly, she stood, looking into Delcastle's eyes as if there would be some sort of hint there to push her forward. This time, his expression appeared neutral to the matter. By this point her sobs had quieted, but her cheeks were stained with the still steadily-flowing tears. Then the image of Delcastle being ripped apart flickered in her mind, and her hand reached for the handle before her mind understood what she was doing.
For a solid, silent minute, Cinera stood and stared down at the katana she had now taken. Severance, the blade that had been there with her since the beginning... It had found its way back into her hands, even after such a frightening experience. She knew that was her strength - severing the ties she needed to, whether that be with enemies or with friends. Feeling the weight of the blade in her grip, she closed her eyes and lifted her face toward the sky, feeling the breeze cool her wet cheeks. I have to fight... She thought, solemnly. Delcastle is right. If I give up, I've basically died. And I can't die, yet... I'm sure he has many people to protect him, including his brother, but even so...
"I want to protect this." Finally feeling totally calm, Cinera opened her eyes and looked at Delcastle, a sort of solemn fire in her eyes. "I'm tired of depending on others... When I do that, others can't depend on me when they need to. I'm tired of severing ties I don't need to. And Delcastle..." Her cheeks flushed a bit of a bright red as she admitted this next part. "... I... I don't know what it is, but I feel a sort of strange connection to you..." She turned a bit away from him, awkwardly, to stare at the ground. "We've barely known each other a day, but I feel like we've been friends for life. You have been so supportive and kind since I met you at the tavern. Honestly... I just don't know where you see that strength in me; I've been searching most of my life to see myself the way you seem to. But I realized that you are that kind of person to me - the kind who deserves to live... the kind who will do something good with his life. I don't want to be the reason that something - someone - like you is gone from this world... so... I know we're still practically strangers, but... uhm..." She looked up at him, her face extremely red as she spoke: "I... I-I want to fight for you... I-I'll fight...!"
A sort of bravery shone in her eyes as she gazed into his, feeling thrilled and terrified and exhausted all at once. Cinera didn't know what would happen from here - but she wanted to try. That was the least she could do, in this moment. I don't know what I'll do if I ever see someone die... but... we'll cross that bridge when we get there...
Cinera barely felt the touch of his strong arms as he lifted her up from where she was curled up on the ground. Her body was tense, almost resisting the movement as the fear swirled and turned within her stomach. I-I can't breathe... I think I'm going to be sick... Something in her mind had registered that Delcastle was alive and well, and that he had taken a potion to restore his HP, but her emotions were far out of her reach at this point. Relief seemed impossible as she kept her eyes squeezed shut, shaking wildly as she expelled the tears from her eyes. Her orange locks clung to her damp face, and she looked and felt like a mess. Everything hurt - her back from the tree earlier, her eyes from the burning tears, her chest from the hyperventilating. Once again, she was diminished to a useless state.
This wasn't what was supposed to happen, today. When Cinera had sought out Delcastle and Bulwar, she had done so with the intention to get stronger and find people to support. That had only lasted for a few battles, obviously. It made her feel pathetic, worthless, a burden, everything that she had been afraid she would be when she first joined the World Walkers. None of this was even comprehensible to her as the world seemed to spin around her in her panic. The only solid image she could see was that fatal moment over and over and over again: Delcastle's blood spewing everywhere (in the form of pixels, of course), the wolf's teeth digging deep into his skin, that HP bar dropping from green to yellow, then yellow to red... and in her mind, from red to empty. She could see her own failure, and nothing else.
She was mildly conscious of being propped up against a tree, somewhere, though she had no sense of safety or danger. There was only this pain; any area would be no different. Her chest heaved as the tears kept coming, and her eyes slowly opened to try and get a grip. Everything was blurry, and the fear was so extreme. Cinera managed to look down at her hand, where the blood from that wolf earlier had dried, and that only made her cries louder and more painful. If she had been stronger... If she had been a better teammate... If she hadn't been so cocky... If... If... If...
Cinera wanted to give up. She really did. Dying would be better than endangering others who were working so hard to help everyone else survive. Her hope was all but shattered when she first felt his warmth on her face, pulling her face up from her hand, where her gaze had not broken. His eyes were the first thing she was able to focus on, and they were soft and kind... not the eyes of someone who deserved to die. The eyes of someone who would fight for others. The eyes of the person who had saved her sorry ass when she screwed everything up. Worthless... The sobs never broke as she tried to look away from him, her body shaking with her cries of fear and shame. He deserved a much better teammate. I should have never come here. He wouldn't have gotten hurt if it wasn't for me. Maybe it would be best if I just dis-
Her thoughts were interrupted by an unexpected sensation. At first, she didn't quite process what was happening, but as her tears slowed she began to gain a bit more focus on the world around her. When she realized what was happening, her eyes widened. W-We're... We're kissing...? She was really unsure of what to do, in this situation. Why was he kissing her? Cinera didn't understand what Delcastle was thinking or feeling, at all. What she did know was that she liked this feeling... It was warm and soothing, like a wave of calmness was washing over her body from that little touch. She had initially tensed at the unexpected touch, but she slowly began to relax as the fear seeped out of her. His kiss seemed to fill her with the exact calm and level-headedness that she needed, and their fingers slowly became intertwined. He was so warm, so full of life... She was so happy he was alive. The tears did not stop falling down her cheeks, but her breathing had slowed and the shaking stopped in the midst of this. When he pulled away, her anxiety attack had almost completely subsided.
His words were soft like velvet as their eyes bore into one another during this very serious moment. He was absolutely right... She knew he was right. But even so... fighting it wasn't as easy as he thought. Cinera had never had to fight anything this serious, before. A game was one thing, but this was playing with people's real lives! It made her sick everytime she realized where they were. It took all of her strength not to break down like this constantly. How could she not be afraid? There were so many things she had left behind in the real world, things that she hadn't finished, people she never said goodbye to... She hadn't known that people could die so instantly, without any kind of farewell to the world. It felt unfair, and now that possibility loomed over her shoulder every day. For almost a full day now, she had to fear for her life.
Cinera knew that she had to fight. He had told her that before, and he was helping her, but was it really worth all of this...? The risk was great... She didn't know how to fight, anymore. As he spoke, her eyes gazed up at him, sad and broken, as much quieter sobs still escaped from her lips. She felt so lost... All she could do was search for a path in Delcastle's eyes. "I-I know..." Her voice was quiet and meek as she spoke to him for the first time during this whole ordeal. "I-I don't know... H-How to fight..." The pain welled up in her chest, again, as she gripped his hand tighter. "I-I don't want... a-anyone... t-t-to die because of me...!" The tears came a bit faster, but she used all of her strength to suppress any other attack that might be ready to rise up inside of her. "I-I'm just going... t-to get everyone... k-killed... I-I knew I would... b-be in the way..."Everything ached as she poured her heart out to Delcastle, completely trusting him, by this point. He could see her like this if he needed to - orange hair tangled and matted against her face, puffy red cheeks and swollen eyes - but she knew that she couldn't go on with this guild, anymore. Not if this was the result on Day 1.
"I-I'd rather d-die than... than put you in d-danger... D-Delcastle..."
@Zelosse Whoa...! Didn't expect that from Delcastle, tbh haha! But, speaking as someone who lives with anxiety, I can say that a kiss would definitely do the trick, lol! But my help usually comes from the person I'm married to, so this will be interesting... :P
Hmm... Ok. We'll go ahead and restart. I made it vast because I wanted to give people the freedom to do anything, but I can see that it doesn't quite have enough focus to give motivation for posts.
I'll go ahead and re-post the intro and we'll just restart from there in the thread. So that everybody has a chance to interact, let's say that everybody has to be freshmen. This is the first day of school, just like before, so everybody is trying to figure out how to fit in (or not fit in lol). That should give the characters motivation for different things, right? Like finding clubs to join, building social circles, etc. We'll skip the tour this time around and pretend they were just given their schedules and a map of the school (to find their classes). Does that sound okay?
And @AtomicNut You are definitely free to make a CS and join in!
[center][color=violet][h1]HI THERE~![/h1]
[img]https://media.tenor.com/images/b5e6535437f98c48eaefea445b097668/tenor.gif[/img]
[H3][i]Thank you for visiting my profile![/i][/h3][/color]
[color=lightsalmon]You can call me Destiny. I am a 26-year-old pansexual woman from the USA who has been roleplaying since 2007. I got my start on a Kingdom Hearts fan-forum, and now here I am! My roleplaying interests include slice-of-life, romance, drama, fantasy, and anime fandom. Did I mention I am a HUGE otaku? :D
I write at a high-casual/advanced level as far as the amount of content I write per-post, but I'm not into flowery language most of the time. My writing is very simple, with a lot of the focus being on the characters and how their thoughts and feelings are developing. Realism is the name of my game! This stems from the fact that, when I am not roleplaying or slaving away for a large technology conglomerate at my day job, I am working on plays and films as a professional actress. With this being my passion, it's quite literally my job to pick apart each character's brain to find the motivation behind their words and actions. I'm just saying, that kind of obsession shows in my writing.
For my partners, I mostly do 1x1 RPs unless a group really catches my eye. I expect 2-3 paragraphs per post and prefer those who can respond at least once a day. Original stories catch my eye more than fandoms, but I don't rule anything out until I've tried it- trust me, if something's not working I'll let you know. I do not write smut, but if it is story-driven I will consider 18+. I'm really not picky; these are just guidelines for how to *guarantee* I will love our RP! I've been surprised before!
A fair warning in advance: I'm also a little crazy. I am diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression, so if I am feeling off I may just stop responding. My mental health does come first. Rest assured, I will pick up the pieces and clear my head enough to reply soon. I use my writing as an outlet, so I can never stay away more than a couple of days. That being said, my Guild partners are my family. Y'all have helped me through the worst times of my life and continue to remind me why I'm still alive on this Earth. So just know that I am here to do the same for any of you, even if we've just met. :)
Anywho, if this sounds like your thing then shoot me a PM! I swear I'm friendly, albeit a little strange, and I don't bite (hard)!
<3[/color][/center]
<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><div class="bb-center"><font color="violet"><div class="bb-h1">HI THERE~!</div><br><img src="https://media.tenor.com/images/b5e6535437f98c48eaefea445b097668/tenor.gif" /><br><div class="bb-h3"><span class="bb-i">Thank you for visiting my profile!</span></div></font><br><font color="lightsalmon">You can call me Destiny. I am a 26-year-old pansexual woman from the USA who has been roleplaying since 2007. I got my start on a Kingdom Hearts fan-forum, and now here I am! My roleplaying interests include slice-of-life, romance, drama, fantasy, and anime fandom. Did I mention I am a HUGE otaku? :D<br><br>I write at a high-casual/advanced level as far as the amount of content I write per-post, but I'm not into flowery language most of the time. My writing is very simple, with a lot of the focus being on the characters and how their thoughts and feelings are developing. Realism is the name of my game! This stems from the fact that, when I am not roleplaying or slaving away for a large technology conglomerate at my day job, I am working on plays and films as a professional actress. With this being my passion, it's quite literally my job to pick apart each character's brain to find the motivation behind their words and actions. I'm just saying, that kind of obsession shows in my writing.<br><br>For my partners, I mostly do 1x1 RPs unless a group really catches my eye. I expect 2-3 paragraphs per post and prefer those who can respond at least once a day. Original stories catch my eye more than fandoms, but I don't rule anything out until I've tried it- trust me, if something's not working I'll let you know. I do not write smut, but if it is story-driven I will consider 18+. I'm really not picky; these are just guidelines for how to *guarantee* I will love our RP! I've been surprised before!<br><br>A fair warning in advance: I'm also a little crazy. I am diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression, so if I am feeling off I may just stop responding. My mental health does come first. Rest assured, I will pick up the pieces and clear my head enough to reply soon. I use my writing as an outlet, so I can never stay away more than a couple of days. That being said, my Guild partners are my family. Y'all have helped me through the worst times of my life and continue to remind me why I'm still alive on this Earth. So just know that I am here to do the same for any of you, even if we've just met. :)<br><br>Anywho, if this sounds like your thing then shoot me a PM! I swear I'm friendly, albeit a little strange, and I don't bite (hard)!<br><3</font></div></div>