@Buddha Can you please clarify your opinions about the justifications/questions made as an answer to your corrections? It'll make the correction of the sheet considerably easier.
Alright, first off, some of my comments are not meant to be 100% serious. I don't really care about the callsign for instance, so that it's a mouthful doesn't really matter.
I picked the villages at random due to lack of info, relies mostly in the fact that Konoha was the village that gave Bijuus to Kiri in the past according to the cannon. I can either change the villages or twist ir to make him one of the reasons for the war, whatever you like the most.
True, but there's a reason they're at war. I could've clarified it but opted to do it in the IC, because otherwise I'd have to give away the main antagonist already and I'd prefer not to do that.
But in short; there's a war between Kirigakure and Konohagakure at the moment, however that only started some.. one year ago? So it's possible that he's from Kirigakure. However, them being allied after the first war seems unlikely to me. I'd also opt to change the villages (or just leave the alliance bit out? Whether you're allied or not, during peacetime you'd want to avoid killing shinobi of another village, especially in an exam). A single shinobi being the reason for a war seems a bit much, especially if he went rogue anyway.
A minor info gathering would let clear that it was done under personal grudge, and doing so when he was still a 15 year old boy makes it clear that he has the ability to reinforce the village. As for the time, it is supposed to be an act taken as soon as she became the kage, securing strong individuals loyal to her - a common practice in a place who has coups as a tradition.
There are plenty of strong shinobi in Amegakure though, and for a village that is relatively small and has been the underdog for a long time (and thus at risk of invasion) I'd say that taking in a wanted criminal is more of a reason to get invaded than a reason to strengthen herself. I see where you are coming from but I don't think the con's would outweigh the pro's in this case.
I'd rather say that it is like opening the fifth of the eight gates for a short time but only enhancing speed if i had to make an analogy... Still, it's pretty similar to body flicker in practice. I can probably change that if you want
Which is a bit too much. In practice, it's too much like body flicker. In fact, it's unknown currently how swift release is even different from body flicker;
How this nature differs from the common Body Flicker Technique, aside from speed difference, is unknown. It is possible that Swift-natured chakra is being applied to the Body Flicker, which is a general skill, to produce this effect.
I'm not against him being really speedy, but there's something about instant movement that is cheesy in a fight.
Also, having a jonin going around zooming between enemies finishing them all off seems like it'd force the students to just kinda.. sit back and watch. Cool in theory, but for an RP, it's not that good.
@BladeSS4 It still doesn't really explain why her mother was allowed to stay. Also I don't really understand why you went for the Hozuki clan specifically since you don't really use their jutsu or anything. You don't have to edit it in but maybe you can give me an explanation here?
Since I've been craving for a Naruto RP since a while ago and you're searching for players, I could as well submit a character that I've been wanting to use since a while ago.
Information collected by the census office of Amegakure
“Geez. Such a bother”
| Ｂｉｒｔｈｎａｍｅ: |
Uzuki Souma
| Ｎｉｃｋｎａｍｅｓ: |
Nanashi (No Name); Sword-Style Thief; Battle Addict; Lazy Monster
| Ａｌｉａｓ: |
Crescent Moon DevilThat's a mouthful
| Ｓｅｘ: |
Male
| Ａｇｅ: |
24
| Ｂｉｒｔｈｐｌａｃｅ: |
Konohagakure no Sato (Hidden Leaf Village)
| Ｂｌｏｏｄｌｉｎｅ: |
Unknown Bloodline
| Ｒａｎｋ: |
Jounin
| Ｒｅｐｕｔａｔｉｏｎ: |
If asked to describe him, most of his acquaintances would resume his very being as "A lazy bastard with a monstrous talent for cutting anything that stands in his way", and that would be quite the accurate description for him. He is mostly recognized as an individual that shouldn't be messed up with yet can't be taken seriously, being overall seen as someone befitting of being called as a Wildcard. Most of Souma's infame came from either the assassination of one of the seven mist swordsmen before he was even recognized as a jounin or from the fearsome reputation he created for himself while traveling as a missing-nin why would Amegakure take in a missing nin, which are known criminals? - a direct result of him stopping to defy every single person that "carried a sword and looked strong" he found in his travels as a way of sharpening his skills with the sword. More importantly why would they take in a dude that thought killing people at random to test his skills was a good idea?
From detailed inspection and investigation by Black Ops and medical personnel
“Do you really need to bother me right now? I was planning to sleep.”
| Ｐｅｒｓｏｎａｌ ｂｉｏｇｒａｐｈｙ: |
The start of the story of the young adult known as Souma is far from being uncommon or special, being shared by many others through the years since the start of the ninja era: He was an orphan. While this statement may seem a bit simple, it does resumes his youth perfectly in despite of being a simple word. He was nothing but an orphan like any other, abandoned at birth by parents that probably felt that leaving him behind would be safer - or maybe never cared for him, he couldn't know (Or care) - Souma was raised on Konoha's orphanage for most of his infancy, being regarded as an overall quiet child who hardly interacted with others or have any problem by most of his former caretakers - quite the accurate description, considering that he wasn't especially remarkable back then - but that would quickly change after his entrance in the academy. Pretty standard then
If asked now, he'd hardly know what exactly made him such an abnormal individual, but one thing was certain: it started in the academy. He doesn't know, even today, what exactly awakened his instincts in that place, but he know for certain that it happened in an instant: The quiet kid that he was back then instantly changed into one of the most promising future ninjas and undoubtedly the most troublesome one, being regarded as mischievous, lazy, fun loving individual and, above all, ridiculously talented individual. okay
Thinking deeply, the root of this sudden change was most certainly the person that started his training - and initiated him into the ways of a scoundrel - His foster father, Hayato Uzuki. If asked to describe him, Souma would most certainly choose the words "Carefree and Sharp", two seemingly unrelated adjectives that undoubtedly suited the man to an abnormal extent: Hayato was as much of a genius as Souma himself, being regarded as the strongest sword user in the whole village before he even reached his thirties - a man that loved the sword as much as he loved fun and imparted the same values in the youth that he loved as a son.
With all of that being said, it's hard to understand how Souma, that earned such a good life, managed to turn into an fool that rushed to join a war torn country before he even managed to get his first girlfriend - an understandable doubt that will be erased by the events that followed the quiet period of the boy's life.
It all started to crumble when he received the worst notice of his life at the age of 15 - six months before his chunnin exam: His father, Hayato Uzuki, had died by the hands of a member of Kirigakure's Seven Swordsmen, assassinated without a chance to react due to a stupid grudge held by the young swordsman. The worst part? He wasn't caught. Due to the alliance made between Konohagakure and Kirigakure, the wielder of the sewing needle was forgiven with just minor punishments for the sake of "not damaging the allied military forced even more". No need to say that, to the boy that only had Hayato as family from the very start, this was the highest treason possible. Kirigakure and Konohagakure are not allied in this AU, in fact they're at war when the IC starts
For the next month, the carefree smile that was often seen in the boy's face completely vanished, giving place to a gloomy expression and even gloomier attitude. This quickly changed in the following two months tough, as the boy gradually returned to his former self with some small changes: His eyes had a sharp gleam now, and his carefree smile gave a predatorial feel that only intensified with the passage of the months. By the time of his chunnin exam - that happened in conjunction with the hidden mist village as a way of sealing the treaty - the boy had already changed into a different yet similar person: The sheath that once covered his true self - his "blade" - was now a thing in the past.
The first stages were so ridiculously easy for the boy that they almost felt like a joke. It was more than clear for him that, had they been in war times, he could already be a jounin with his level of proficiency, but at the moment it didn't matter. His only priority was getting the right spot in the finals - something that was easily done through having contact with one of the responsibles for the event. His target? It was obviously the mist swordsman's kid, a fairly talented boy around his age that the killer of his father regarded as being even more important than his own life.
It isn't hard to predict what happened next: Souma toyed with the boy to an unbelievable extent without even revealing his Kekkei Genkai, trapping the spawn of his enemy in a way reminiscent of a cat playing with the rat held under his paws until the father of the poor mice couldn't hold back his anger anymore, stepping into the arena to stop the fight. The result? He finally used his Kekkei Genkai - something that he discovered months ago but never had the opportunity to show to anyone, as he was waiting for his foster father to return home before making the reveal - taking the unsuspecting swordsman by surprise and, consequently, managing to behead the man in front of his son before he could react to his attack with a smile in his face - for the first time in the last six months, he truly felt alive. This is even more reason for Amegakure to never take him in, since he's unpredictable and apparently keen on murdering superiors. It doesn't really make any sense
Of course the story couldn't end like this, and he was captured by the Shinobi of his village and escorted to face judgement for his sins - a laughable display of fake righteousness orchestrated by the same guys that forgave the man who killed his father. That being said, this specific judgement never happened: the boy managed to escape by making use of a thin blade hidden under his skin, killing the guards in the process and being put into the bingo book as an A Rank criminal. More reason not to take him in
For the following 5 years, Souma lived as a wanderer - using his status as a wanted criminal by the authorities of the two hidden villages to easily enter into the territories of their enemies as he traveled the world, using his time solely to collect new techniques of handling the sword while having fun in the process until 2 years ago, when a woman who called himself as the shadow of the rain (Amekage) stopped him, praising his skills and requesting him to join her So the Amekage, right after her inauguration into the position of power, decided that the best way to cement her rulership was to take a known A rank criminal, who had killed both shinobi of his own village as well as shinobi from other villages in peacetime? - request to which he replied with an answer befitting of his personality: "Sure, if you manage to beat me I can do that." And an extra comment that would bring pride to his foster father: "But if I win, you're going to be my wife".
The result? He's still single and is now one of Amegakure's jounin.
| Ｆａｍｉｌｙ ｂｉｏｇｒａｐｈｙ: |
Being an abandoned orphan, Souma never had - and never had any special desire to - the opportunity of meeting his parents. His foster father, however, was a member of the Uzuki family, a family known for their attainments in the use of the Konoha-Ryu, and naturally had some blood ties that still live in Konoha - Albeit none that Souma cared about enough to meet after leaving the village.
| Ｆａｍｉｌｙ ｔｉｅｓ: |
Hayato Uzuki | Foster Parent | 32 by the time of his death, Konohagakure, Former Shinobi and the man responsible for Souma's love for the way of the sword.
| Ｄｒｅａｍｓ ａｎｄ ｆｅａｒｓ: |
Souma isn't the kind of guy to think deeply about the future, having the sole objective of enjoying his life while continuously enhancing his sword style. His biggest fear is being sealed or imprisoned mainly due to the implication having to stay alive without any opportunity of having fun.
From detailed reports from previous missions and academy sparring matches
“My speciality is cutting people until they stop moving. I can also cut animals and things though”
| Ｆｉｇｈｔｉｎｇ ｓｔｙｌｅ: |
Souma's fighting style is fairly direct, being mainly reliant on directly fighting the enemy at close range through the mixed use of his sword arts and Kekkei Genkai, overpowering anyone in his way through the use of a mix of his excessive speed and his masterful handling of swords. At long range, he mainly relies on the few long distance techniques he knows and shurikenjutsu to distract the attention of his foes and force them out of their hiding spots, giving him the opportunity of getting close to them and finishing the fight through the use of his sword.
| Ｋｅｋｋｅｉ ｇｅｎｋａｉ － ｂｌｏｏｄｌｉｎｅ ｌｉｍｉｔ: |
Ｋｅｋｋｅｉ ｇｅｎｋａｉ ｎａｍｅ
Jinton - Speed
Ｄｅｓｃｒｉｐｔｉｏｎ
Swift Release is a combined nature transformation kekkei genkai that can be used to move with instantaneous speed so like body flicker technique? There's a reason I banned body flicker technique for combat so..., granting the user an advantage over opponents with more strength than speed, such as users of Chakra Enhanced Strength. This nature therefore renders the user invulnerable against most taijutsu. It is unknown what elements this nature entails.
This Kekkei Genkai mostly acts as a supplementary skill for Souma's use of Kenjutsu - field that he appears to favour to an abnormal extent. If he favors it to an abnormal extent then would he have time left to learn and practice ninjutsu?
Ｓｔｒｅｎｇｔｈｓ
Souma mostly uses this Kekkei Genkai in conjunction to his sword techniques, giving him the opportunity of easily overpowering his enemies ay a close distance due to the absurd speed provided by it.
Ｗｅａｋｎｅｓｓｅｓ
Being only capable of short bursts of speed and failing to provide any form of long distance capacity, this Kekkei Genkai can be easily overpowered through the use of attrition tactics and long-range combat. If he's got the speed then long range won't matter since he can close the distance in a second anyway
A technique made from the observation of the Dance of the Crescent Moon technique - unreplicable by Souma due to him being unable to use the shadow clone technique - this technique relies on the most basic clone technique to create a sole clone overlapping with the user and then using the swift style to instantly move behind the enemy and behead they while they're distracted with the illusory clone.
Ｊｕｔｓｕ ｎａｍｅ
Souma's Original: Endless Moon
Ｒａｎｋ
S
Ｒａｎｇｅ
Close-Medium Range
Ｄｅｓｃｒｉｐｔｉｏｎ
A technique developed from mixing his swift style with the Iaido he learned through living with the Samurai, this monstrous skill uses the swift release to enhance the speed of the user's arms to an unbelievable extent for the span of three seconds, time that he uses to unleash up to 24 slashes coated with wind-based chakra, delivering an absurd damage not only to those directly in the range of the blade - that appears to be able to cut armour with an ease that can only be described as inhuman - but also to anyone directly behind them, as each cut produces a wind blade comparable to the wind release's Wind Cutter Technique. The main disadvantage of this technique is that it puts strain in the user's arms, being unfit for being used without restraint.
| Ｗｅａｐｏｎｓ: |
Ｗｅａｐｏｎ ｎａｍｅ
Violent Moon
Ｗｅａｐｏｎ， ｔｏｏｌ， ｏｒ ｏｂｊｅｃｔ ｔｙｐｅ
Sword/Katana
Ｄｅｓｃｒｉｐｔｉｏｎ
A simple looking Katana with an equally simple pitch black sheath, the only special characteristic of this weapon is it abnormal sharpness: A result of Souma's excessive use of chakra augmentation, that ended up permanently infusing the sharpness characteristic of his wind release into the blade.
Please take a look at my criticism/review. Take it as constructive,
Information collected by the census office of Amegakure
“Violence is in our blood. Amegakure's creation was through war. It is inevitable we return to our roots.”
| Ｂｉｒｔｈｎａｍｅ: |
Uragiri Sakana
| Ｎｉｃｋｎａｍｅｓ: |
Blackeye
| Ｓｅｘ: |
Male
| Ａｇｅ: |
16
| Ｂｉｒｔｈｐｌａｃｅ: |
Amegakure
| Ｂｌｏｏｄｌｉｎｅ: |
Uragiri
| Ｒａｎｋ: |
Jonin
| Ｒｅｐｕｔａｔｉｏｎ: |
Sakana is relatively well known throughout Amegakure, mostly because he became a jonin at the young age of 16. Although not impossible, it is relatively uncommon. It was to be expected however, as Sakana is a very skilled shinobi, on par with a genius. However, this does have a turnside - he is also known to have some ideas that are directly in line with Iie Hizen's thoughts and ideas, and he takes them perhaps a bit too literally.
From detailed inspection and investigation by Black Ops and medical personnel
“Any time you get hurt and survive - that's a lesson. A child only sticks his finger into the flame once.”
| Ｐｅｒｓｏｎａｌ ｂｉｏｇｒａｐｈｙ: |
Sakana was born in Amegakure 16 years ago, under the reign of Iie Hizen. Being raised in such an environment was not an easy feat (but one that all his peers eventually had to get through). However, Sakana seemed to thrive in an environment where any sign of revolution was punished harshly. He graduated to the genin rank at 12, which was a relatively standard age for a boy to become a genin. His time in school had been relatively uneventful - he performed above average, but far from perfect. Most of that had to do with his attitude, being prone to being disinterested in whatever the teacher had to teach.
Throughout his academy time, he was relatively indifferent about Amegakure, but after graduating his loyalty began growing to a point where he would support the Amekage even if he committed mass murder. Seeing potential in Sakana, his sensei allowed him to take part in internal chunin exams, which were harsh but fair, and at age 14 he was already made a chunin, a step ahead of his peers. It was at that point that his name began spreading around too, as he became known as 'that kid with the black eyes who is already a chunin.' Of course, that was only a temporary title before people actually learned his name.
He participated in some small scale skirmishes with Sunagakure mostly, trifling over borders and trade. Most of them were just small team based missions where they ran into Sunagakure shinobi that claimed they were intruding on their business, but they were usually easily routed. There were very few cases where people actually died.
To further add to the surprise however, he became a jonin at age 16, only making his genius more apparent. Although he didn't stand out as a legendary shinobi or anything of the like, he was simply very good at what he did making himself quite the promising individual early on. It seemed that with every promotion his loyalty to the cause of Amegakure became bigger, almost to the point where people openly questioned whether he had been brainwashed or was under some permanent genjutsu or something.
He has been a jonin for, give or take, 3 months now. He was primarily doing missions during this but recently was put on hold by the Amekage and alerted that he will be leading a team shortly, teaching three genin in the art of warfare and performing duties with them as they enter a period of turmoil with the ongoing war.
| Ｆａｍｉｌｙ ｂｉｏｇｒａｐｈｙ: |
Uragiri clan symbol
The Uragiri clan is relatively unknown, even in Amegakure. They provide mostly standard civilians in Amegakure who work in the industrial plants creating metal and tools. They all stand out, however, due to the black and yellow eyes that run in their family - any Uragiri clan member is recognizable by their eyes. This trait, while genetic, can be recessive and there are very few Uragiri clan members who do not have these eyes - but they do exist. In such a case the clan members can be identified by their clan icon, which is a set of black and white koi circling each other. The image is fitting, given that their eyes give them a somewhat fishy appearance.
The clan is primarily (90%) just pure civilians that mostly work in shops or the industry. The remaining 10% are shinobi, like Sakana. And, while they are good at what they do, they are typically not very well renowned - not because nobody likes them or so, but just because they are pretty average all together. For that, Sakana is pretty much the one exception. In doing so, he has also become the clans' pride, more or less.
| Ｆａｍｉｌｙ ｔｉｅｓ: |
Uragiri Same | Mother | 41, shinobi as part of the regyura. She is currently leading her own team of genin as well. Uragiri Sāmon | Father | 45, teacher at the shinobi academy in Amegakure. Most kids like him because he 'looks cool.' He's not a bad teacher, just a little boring.
| Ｄｒｅａｍｓ ａｎｄ ｆｅａｒｓ: |
What is there to dream of for a person whose only loyalty is to the village? What is there to fear but death itself?
Sakana has no higher aspirations - his goals were met the day he became jonin, and his further goals are to do whatever it takes to aid Amegakure in becoming better.
His fears are, perhaps deep down, also linked to that. Seeing Amegakure lose a war or become annexed are truly fears but are they intrinsically his? Every person in Amegakure should share those fears. No, he has no fears of his own - only those of his village.
From detailed reports from previous missions and academy sparring matches
“All your training is useless if you don't know how to apply it - once you take a life, you'll understand.”
| Ｆｉｇｈｔｉｎｇ ｓｔｙｌｅ: |
Sakana is a ninjutsu genius, mastering 3 elements not only at barely his first year as a jonin, but as a 16 year old no less. For this reason he utilizes his ninjutsu a lot. He prefers to stay in close to medium range, taking a bit of a front role at times but maintaining enough distance to use ninjutsu. Never the less, he is also quite skilled at close combat, though this isn't his forté so to speak.
This Doton technique forms the basis of a three-nature combination. The Bowl jutsu causes the target to be encased in a dome of earth around them, which then lifts up off of the earth on four earthen pillars. The jutsu is simple. There really isn't much to it - it doesn't kill, damage, or harm you, it just traps you inside the dome. That's bad, right?
Well you can break free. Use S, A, B, or C-rank lightning based jutsu's to break through, or use sheer force if you're really that strong. Just do it in time before the next part of the combo.
Ｊｕｔｓｕ ｎａｍｅ
Sūpu-jutsu: Sūpu mizu
Ｒａｎｋ
C
Ｒａｎｇｅ
Up to 20 meters.
Ｄｅｓｃｒｉｐｔｉｏｎ
This Suiton based jutsu is the next step. Thought being trapped in a dome of earth was bad enough? WRONG! Through a hole in the top of the dome that briefly opens at the command of the user, the user then spews water into the 'soup bowl' until it's full of water. Congratulations, you'll now be drowning!
Since this is a suiton jutsu, you could possibly use wind to create a bubble of air for yourself to breathe, though it's not drowning you need to worry about. At this stage of the combo it becomes more or less impossible to use electricity to free yourself from the dome as you'd electrocute yourself. Unless you're willing to risk that. Sheer force would still be enough to break free, but since water slows down movement, it'd likely have to come from the outside.
Or another solution. Maybe you can think of something. Better hurry before the next step, which is..
Ｊｕｔｓｕ ｎａｍｅ
Sūpu-jutsu: Sutōbu o tentō
Ｒａｎｋ
C
Ｒａｎｇｅ
Up to 20 meters.
Ｄｅｓｃｒｉｐｔｉｏｎ
The final step in the three jutsu combo. True to it's name, this is the step that probably is the most dangerous for whomever gets trapped. Using the Katon nature, the user lights a fire underneath the earthen soup bowl/dome that they created, beginning to boil it at an alarming and dangerous rate for whomever is inside. Drown in the soup made of your own body! Muahaha! Ahem. There is no real defence for this step, if you are trapped.
For outsiders it's possible to blow out the fire using wind jutsu, to quench it with a water jutsu, or to simply free those in the bowl with force. Electricity is possible but ill-advised since you'd probably electrocute your friends inside the bowl.
These are two blades made of steel that can be infused (through the Hien/Flying Swallow technique) to sharpen their properties and make them more deadly. Besides that, they have no real 'special' properties.
| Ｓｕｍｍｏｎｉｎｇ: |
Ｎａｍｅ
Shima
Ｓｐｅｃｉｅｓ ａｎｄ ｓｉｚｅ
Shima is a newt of about 1.5 meters high, and five meters long. However, most of that is his tail. He is a bright orange with black drawings all over his body in various shapes, most notably a marking on the front of his head that reads 'Shima' in kanji. This marking seems to be entirely natural and it seems to be the case that he was named after this shape.
Ｐｏｗｅｒｓ ａｎｄ ｃａｐａｂｉｌｉｔｉｅｓ
Shima has the 'power' to produce a large flame from his throat by using his chakra, producing either a steady high pressure stream of fire or a large fireball. Furthermore, his aquatic nature as a newt means he's extremely capable in the water and can swim extremely fast - while he is much, much slower on land. ]
Lastly he can fit up to three people in his mouth if they sit down.
@Mahz How long until we can change our usernames? Possibly on a max-change thing, like once every 3 months?
Also additionally perhaps it would be a thing for moderators or admins to be able to change other usernames, so that old usernames can be freed up for people that want those usernames. I.e. I'd love to have the username Odin, but as you can see that's already taken by an inactive account. Of course, this would only work if we could actually change our usernames to begin with.
[center][color=gray][b]Just an Aragorn looking for his Arwen[/b][/color][/center]
[center][img]https://i.imgur.com/FrPe6BA.jpeg[/img] [img]https://i.imgur.com/ugdwUng.jpeg[/img][/center]
<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><div class="bb-center"><font color="gray"><span class="bb-b">Just an Aragorn looking for his Arwen</span></font></div><br><br><div class="bb-center"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/FrPe6BA.jpeg" /> <img src="https://i.imgur.com/ugdwUng.jpeg" /></div></div>
Member
Kaithe Dame
Sillyman59
Foxy13
Shin Ghost Note
LimeTime966
BunniesOfDoom
Dark Cloud
Sky Blue
Crimson Flame
I don't really care about the callsign for instance, so that it's a mouthful doesn't really matter.
