Avatar of El Taco Taco

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Recent Statuses

6 yrs ago
Current 'I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet.'
7 likes
6 yrs ago
'There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?'
2 likes
7 yrs ago
'If Zoey Ashe had known she was being stalked by a man who intended to kill her and then slowly eat her bones, she would've worried more about that and less about getting her cat off the roof.'
1 like
7 yrs ago
"And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that."
7 likes
7 yrs ago
"We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?"
2 likes

Bio


"OK, I've just about had my FILL of riddle-asking, quest-assigning, insult-throwing, pun-hurling, hostage-taking, iron-mongering, smart-arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!" - CHARNAME, Baldur's Gate


Most Recent Posts

They're pretty much the greatest. I'm quite proud of them

HOW U BEEEEE. I need to actually use Skype, probably P:
Did you know that Victoire is the worst? Because she is. She's just terrible.

Do not lie to yourself. We're all gay for Soren.
For one brief moment, Victoire considered cooperating with Evander Barius.

And then he called her sweetie, and any good will between them went to shit.

He grabbed her wrist, wrestling her wand arm down with an annoying strength that made her want to head butt him. Hexes and jinxes sprinted through her thoughts as her temper roared to life. Sweetie. A lady. Like she was some limp kneazle, some fragile flower that might wilt at the first sign of frost.

“Don’t touch me,” she hissed, trying to rip her wrist from his hand as he pulled her after him like a child. A child, instead of a decorated Curse Breaker, a woman who had stared down ancient magic and bent it to her will for the past six years and come out with all her limbs intact.

Her temper interfered with her senses, the veela in her veins burning, screaming in her head. Victoire noticed a moment too late that the ruins were locking them in. No, not the ruins—people. Not her colleagues, not Bulstrode. Intruders.

Victoire began to sprint, long strides easily keeping pace with Evander. He then proceeded to do something extremely daft; without hesitation, he braced the portcullis with his lanky frame. Instinct took over and Victoire slid through the disappearing gap. Half a breath later, the iron gate slammed to the stone floor with a very final sort of thud.

Merde.”

The git was locked on the other side. Rising to her feet, wand sparking to the burn of her anger, Victoire took a steadying breath. Potential solutions began to form in her head, pale eyes scouring every inch of the portcullis to hunt for clues. Her thoughts stuttered once more—dear.

“Merlin’s sagging tits, I’m going to kill you myself once we’re out of here,” she snapped, nostrils flaring. Every instinct screamed at her to curse him halfway to next Tuesday, to leave him behind and let the damned ruin consume him, to make him pay for the insult. Reason and morals finally kicked into overdrive, and Victoire forced herself to turn away and collect herself.

In the distance there was fog, ripples of dark magic, and the faintest outline of robed figures. Her heart leapt in her chest. She had to find the others, had to warn them, protect them—

Victoire bolted, leaving only the flutter of pale hair, dark robes, and the faintest of footfalls in her wake.
In Please Stay 8 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
Eeeeeeeeeeeee! I love it!!! Ahhhh all the inspo I need to write nooooowwwww
Poor nerds. They're doomed to suffer for our hilarity. Bwe he he.

Pft! I'm sure it's fab! Sometimes you just gotta throw wrenches at the plot and see what hits.

Daniel is so precious. And literally everything Katie writes is gold. And Soren...more like Swoonen, amirite? I'm so right.
Bumperoo!
Aaaaand bump
In Please Stay 8 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
Ahhhhhhhh! Paige is such a cute name!! I love it <3
In Please Stay 8 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
I suppose a bit overboard is better than underboard, right???

Do you have a name picked out?? O:
One day, he's the world's most pompous ass and Vicky wants to set Evander on fire--the next, he's the world's most pompous ass and Vicky wants to snog him. Homegirl is not going to handle that well at all.

Poor Evander.

Awww yiissssssss

Also, I greatly approve of your sig. After Hours is pure comedy gold. Michael Swaim is a fucking gift.
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